


Subjugation

by Hotaruxfirefly



Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - Canadian 21st c., Political RPF - France 21st c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Misunderstandings, Multi, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:34:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 116,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27527737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotaruxfirefly/pseuds/Hotaruxfirefly
Summary: Justin starts working for a prominent man, at a flourishing company, however he soon learns a peculiar set of details about his new boss.
Relationships: Emmanuel Macron/Justin Trudeau
Comments: 20
Kudos: 47





	1. Inferiority Complex

Justin made his way towards the skyscraper that towered above all other buildings in the city, pace increasing as he approached it. He wasn’t late. God forbid. His nervousness was mostly due to the position he was about to take on, although the position itself wasn’t high-profile or unusual - the man he’d serve certainly was. Arriving at the entrance he tilted his head backwards looking up, feeling his dark curls brushing against the collar of his shirt as he let the height of the building intimidate him. People rushed past him, and clearly none of them were late either, and their pace only spoke to the punctuality of the company. All well-dressed, and with demeanors hinting their respectability. Justin simply followed them, carried by the flow of people as if he belonged perfectly to the crowd. 

Behind the entrance was an elegant interior with movements reflected in clean surfaces, bright cream colors and marble. Another tinge of intimidation made itself apparent as Justin instinctively lowered his head to shield his eyes from the light hanging from the ceiling, encased by crystal. It wasn’t the first time he’d stepped across the marble, surrounded by the sound of heels clacking, and with security standing straight with a threatening posture. This time, however, he wasn’t as wary of these impressions as he’d been the first time. whatever had coaxed him into choosing this particular climate was something he couldn’t quite explain. It had been a long shot considering the requirements of the job, and his own qualifications, yet the interviewer had taken a resolute look at him, calculating, and with a conviction that Justin had found odd, stated that he was perfect for the job. He could’ve wondered how she’d come to that conclusion, but the result remained that he had indeed gotten the job.

He got onto one of the many elevators, fidgeting a bit with the buttons of his jacket until he acquired the attention of others on the elevator, deflecting it with a nervous smile. He leaned back patiently. It was a long way up - top floor, where the building slimmed, and most barriers were glass. The decorations were more subtle there, colors more indistinct as well, although everything still clean cut and symmetrical. People gradually got off as the elevator neared the top floor, and it became obvious that Justin would be alone before he reached his destination. Most eye-catching was the slew of conventionally attractive women scattered everywhere, seemingly having no particular purpose, at least from what Justin could understand. Some functioned as assistants and secretaries, nevertheless, no one needed that many of them, and there undoubtedly was a superficial element present - at least in the hiring process. He’d surely benefited from it as well, so he’d be foolish to complain about it. He’d been hired as a secretary, among all these women, leading him to question why a woman had not been picked for his position instead. He appeared the exception to a rule. 

The elevator doors opened, and the first thing Justin spotted was the same woman who’d interviewed him, standing with crossed arms in direct line of his sight. She seemed almost displeased and so Justin promptly looked down at his watch, knowing fully well that he definitely wasn’t late. After being confirmed in that assumption, he directed his gaze at the woman who now carried a satisfied smirk on her lips, perhaps pleased with the fact that she’d managed to make him question his own punctuality. 

“Justin,” She greeted, extending her hand, and once he took it, dragging him out of the elevator before the doors closed. “Right on time.”

Had he stood there a second longer he would have taken a trip back down, which would in fact make him late. He would have thanked her, however if she hadn’t stood there in the first place he probably would have gotten off immediately.

“It’s good to see you…” Justin started, then searched his memory for her name, knowing that if he continued to waver she’d take it as an insult. “Clara.”

She didn’t respond, leading him through the hallway, and Justin wondered if he’d gotten her name wrong. Her expression was neutral, blond bangs veiling her eyebrows, and nearly her blue eyes as well. Her plump red lips didn’t reveal much about her attitude. The fact that she was pursing her lips wasn’t due to anything Justin had said, it was simply a way to make them appear more full. This was probably also why she overlined with her lipstick, something that looked natural from a distance, but less so when studied closely. 

They stopped in front of a desk positioned like a horseshoe against a wall, no more than a few feet from an office framed in glass barriers. Inside sat multiple people, most likely in the middle of a meeting, and one of them captured Justin’s gaze entirely. He appeared shorter than on the front pages of the bevy of magazines he’d been featured in. There was no headline decorating his forehead as Justin observed him now however, although that would’ve suited him just as well. He carried a stern expression, with a certain fervor painting his features as he conversed with his guests. Clearly, he was invested in the subject of which he spoke, and Justin couldn’t help but get carried away as well.

“He’ll be out in a minute or two,” She said, having caught Justin staring intently at their superior. “You can make yourself comfortable at your new desk in the meantime.”

Justin reluctantly turned his attention to her, long enough to register her words and nearly stumble over his own. 

“What do I do?” He asked, waiting for clear instructions, hoping that he didn’t seem too oblivious even if the question indicated that he was. 

“Just familiarize yourself with the systems,” She started, nodding at the computer. “Anything you’ll need is on the desk, and don’t move any of it around. Don’t decorate or bring your own stuff, especially something of sentimental value, like framed photos or other personal items. Don’t eat at your desk, and don’t take personal calls at your desk either.”

Justin nodded obediently, taking mental note of everything she’d told him. She once again crossed her arms as if considering whether to repeat herself or not. Their interaction was cut off when the door to the office swung open, and the guests that had previously been seated inside were making their way towards the elevator after saying their goodbyes. 

“I take it you’re Justin Trudeau?” The man who’d earned Justin’s gaze more times than could be counted asked. “I’m Emmanuel Macron, but, that’s a given.”

He was soft-spoken, yet stern in a charming way. He didn’t put any effort into his persuasive tone, though managed to make his words so completely alluring, almost rendering Justin speechless. Even as he tried to provoke a response to leave his lips, he was stuck with an unlocked jaw as if wanting to say something but not quite capable of doing so.

“Wait for me in my office Clara,” Emmanuel smiled pleasantly, and she obliged with a simple nod, closing the door behind her as she rightly assumed the request was made for the sake of privacy. 

Justin let a slight smile brush across his lips as he realized that he had in fact remembered her name correctly. It encouraged him enough to finally answer, even if a little delayed. 

“It’s an honor to be your subordinate,” He smiled confidently, to which Emmanuel responded with an equally confident smile of his own.

Even though Justin was taller, Emmanuel managed to stare him down in a way that Justin thought extremely unique and even unsettling. Of course he’d never attempt that himself, since it would probably be received as disrespectful - a risk he wasn’t willing to run, seeing as he’d only just gotten the job.

“Let’s see how long you’ll last,” Emmanuel smirked nonchalantly, turning on his heel to re-enter his office where Clara was waiting patiently.

The statement caught Justin completely off guard, and his jaw fell slightly open, as his eyes widened in surprise. He had no clue what it was supposed to mean, and his confident smile had been wiped off right then and there. He snapped out of the daze quickly enough, persistent in not letting himself be pushed off balance that easily. He sat down at the desk, even if rather stumped, and sure enough, everything he’d need was on the desk. He went through the drawers one by one, however found nothing interesting. He dared raise his gaze to where Clara and Emmanuel seemed to be having a civil conversation, with Emmanuel sitting at his desk, and Clara leaning over it. Her scarlet dress was low-cut, which meant that bent over the way she was, cleavage was a certainty. Justin cursed inaudibly at himself for having paid any mind to that fact, although if he’d noticed then Emmanuel undoubtedly had as well. He was either being respectful enough to not let his eyes wander, or he simply wasn’t interested. 

He turned on the computer, convinced that he was better off doing what was asked of him.

***

The break room was the only room exempt from the usual plain colors of the building, and looked more akin to a regular kitchen found in most houses. A subtle scent of coffee and perfume hung pleasantly in the air, and women in skimpy dresses were chatting amongst themselves. Justin recognized some of them from the hallways, and leaving Emmanuel’s office after brief conversations. He didn’t see Clara anywhere, and figured that perhaps she had errands to run, or at least was too busy to answer his questions about Emmanuel’s schedule. Sure, he could have just as easily asked Emmanuel himself, but the lingering sense of subdual prevented him from doing so, even had he wanted to. Their interaction was playing on repeat in the back of his head, as he tried to decipher the meaning of what Emmanuel had said, and the nature of his smirk.

“You’re the new guy aren’t you?” A woman in a navy blue dress asked, her long amber hair strewn back from her emerald eyes. “I haven’t seen you before.”

Justin snapped himself out of the idle reveries that had momentarily consumed him, directing his gaze at her with a soft expression. A few seconds went by where he merely wondered what name could match those glowing green eyes, and he allowed his lips to curl into a curious frown.

“First day,” He answered, falling into a relaxed posture, focusing on the warmth of his mug against his grasp. “It’s funny I already feel like I’m not supposed to be here.”

She hummed in a sympathetic way, although her demeanor hinted that she wasn’t the least bit surprised. Still she joined him in leaning against the counter as to initiate further conversation.

“What makes you say that?” She asked, sounding overly attentive.

“Why am I the only man here?” Justin whispered, as if something he’d said could potentially offend someone.

He needed to know why he appeared to be the exception to a rule, and what this rule was for. He had other questions too of course, and she seemed to be able to give him some answers, in the stead of Clara whose whereabouts he still wasn’t aware of. 

“Your position,” She started. “It’s only ever been held by a man. Mr. Macron seems to prefer a male as his personal secretary/assistant. In any other case he hires women, at least to work on this floor.”

She said it with such nonchalance that Justin wondered if she knew how odd it actually sounded. He now had more questions than before he’d asked, namely, why they were all scantily clad. However, a trip to HR was not a desire of his, and that would certainly be the outcome if the question wasn’t received well. So he moved on to other aspects of his curiosity.

“He told me ‘let’s see how long you’ll last’ and I assume that’s not a great sign.” Justin mentioned, hoping that she could provide some clarity in that regard as well. 

“You probably won’t last long,” She answered, shrugging as if the statement was completely benign. “They never do, so I’d be surprised. It’s nothing personal, but that’s just what the record is.”

Justin didn’t know how to respond. His intuition told him that he was supposed to refute her assumption, even if she knew the record better than he did. There was no counter-argument though, since he himself didn’t have confidence in his abilities such that he could claim he was secure in his position. She seemed adamant that he wouldn’t keep it for long. The only retort he could come up with, was that it sounded like a dumb movie cliche, and even that was a bit docile.

“What’s your name?” He asked, realizing that neither of them were familiar with each other’s names, despite having had a relatively casual discussion. “I’m Justin by the way.”

“Clara.”

There was a brief moment of silence where Justin processed, before he started chuckling. He continued to do so, clearly waiting for her to reveal that she was merely joking. She smiled along, but Justin quickly realized that she was in fact being serious. 

“You’re kidding right?” He asked, still in disbelief. “There’s two of you? Then would you happen to know where the other Clara is?”

“She’s in charge of planning and handling the company dinner tonight,” Clara said, straightening her dress as she spoke. “As far as I know she’s somewhere around here. Trust me she can’t function without coffee so you’ll see her sooner or later.”

As if summoned; the short blond woman strode into the breakroom, strangely dismayed, and with a gaze searching the counter near the fridge where a coffee machine was neatly perched on top. A notepad clenched in her fist was being bent to a hollow shape, as pouting lips blew a stray strand of hair away from her face, carefully avoiding being stained with red lipstick. 

“I lost my pen,” She mumbled, eyes blank and not looking at anything in particular, as she tried to remember where she could’ve possibly placed it. “I lost-”

The other Clara was quick to gently take the pen from where it had been forgotten above the blond woman’s right ear, handing it to her with a soft expression. 

“I’d forget my head too if it wasn’t attached to my goddamn shoulders…” She chuckled in a slightly confused, or perhaps just disinterested, manner. 

“My grandmother used to say that too,” Justin smiled rather stupidly, although not having been invited to join the conversation, whether he saw that as necessary for him to do so or not. “She got dementia.”

The blond woman stared at him with a raised eyebrow, even more displeased than before she’d had her pen retrieved. She would’ve likely continued to stare him down, had Clara not given her a mug of coffee that now consumed her attention. She almost took a careless sip, forgetting that the beverage was sure to scorch her tongue and lips, but the other woman warned her before she could’ve made that mistake.

“That reminds me,” She mentioned, though still glaring at the coffee she couldn’t yet drink. “The dinner party starts at 7 Pm. and I’d rather you not be late.”

The remark was obviously directed at Justin who looked relatively surprised by this. Of course, he was part of the company now, but it was his first day and he hadn’t exactly expected to be invited to a dinner party he’d only heard of just now. His instincts took over and he nodded dutifully, even if he was uncertain about the whole thing. It wasn’t a request however, although it surely could have seemed that way, she wasn’t the type to make mere requests. She’d meant it as an order, and a simple one at that; don’t be late.

He was about to ask one of the many questions he still hadn’t gotten a chance to ask, however, they all turned to the door where a woman casually entered without paying any of them much attention. She stood out. Justin hadn’t seen her before, and if he had then surely he would’ve remembered her. She was wearing black trousers, and a white shirt very akin to what Emmanuel wore, which Justin couldn’t seem to fully understand. How was she different, and was she wearing this out of her own volition? She was of Asian descent, and taller than the blond Clara, but shorter than Justin. Her hair was platinum, with an indigo shine to it, straight and barely reaching her shoulders. It covered half her face, which appeared deliberate, and the eye that wasn’t hidden had a dark iris, that seemed almost black. Her eyeliner was sharp, thin and horizontal, and that made her complexion all the more threatening. 

“That’s new,” She merely said, her eye not lingering too long on Justin as she then grabbed a water bottle before leaving the room again.

Justin realized that the reason he hadn’t heard her footsteps approaching, was that she was wearing flats. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was deliberate as well. 

***

Not exactly dressed for the occasion; that was one way to put it. Justin had forgotten to ask about the dress code, like so many other things that had slipped his mind. He cast a nervous glance at the bright ballroom-like area, where people whom he didn’t know, and didn’t recognize, were socializing and wandering about. His attire was almost comically casual compared to everyone else’s, and he suddenly regretted not having gone with something more elegant or classy. Of course, it would’ve been even more regrettable if he’d been overdressed. Finally he spotted a familiar face, and he awkwardly made his way towards it, tentatively trying not to step on the gowns or feet that he passed by. 

“Clara-” He sighed sounding thankful, as if he had expected to never see her again, and therefore was doomed to drown in the crowd of strangers. “Sorry I didn’t wear something more suitable.” 

He didn’t have much of a chance to apologize any further for his black trousers and blue button-down shirt, since his attention fell now solely on her. She was wearing a sleeveless red satin gown with a sweetheart neckline, skirt revealing her left leg.

“You’re on time so I can’t complain,” She shrugged, carelessly although she appeared to be anything but. 

To Justin’s surprise she still carried her notepad, however the grip around it seemed to have loosened, and her expression was more relaxed. He was about to compliment her dress, but his gaze was quickly captured by the woman behind her. Black and smooth like ink, the dress was decorated with silver petals, and draping her body in such a tantalizing way, he could’ve easily lost all inhibitions. 

“Dance with me?” The woman with platinum hair asked, extending her hand to him with a slight smile. 

Justin was about to accept and take her hand, but he turned to Clara, for some odd reason feeling the need to ask for approval, and the blond woman simply gestured for him to hurry it along, probably eager to get on with her own agenda as well. 

“The introduction is perhaps a bit delayed but…” Justin said, as they swayed to the music. “Care to tell me your name?”

Their bodies weren’t particularly close, despite that fact he could still tell that she was relatively slender, and that her bust was small however prominent her dress made it appear. Again, it was something he internally cursed himself for noticing.

“Se-Jin,” She answered, resting her chin on his shoulder, something that clouded his mind ever so slightly.

“Is that-”

“Korean.”

At least now he knew her name, which had been his objective. He wanted to ask her further about the other aspects of what he had just learned, and whether she was born in the country or originally a foreigner. He didn’t though, since he wasn’t sure if it could be perceived as racist. Even that was just a natural habit of his; being overly conscious of such things. Additionally, a trip to HR was still not a desire of his.

“I’m Justin by the way.”

They continued swaying to the sound of the piano, and the movements almost made him drowsy as comfortable as they were. Slowly turning among the crowd, when he noticed who the pianist was, and his eyes were now stuck on him. That couldn’t possibly be though, right? There was no mistaking it however. So Emmanuel had that kind of skill as well, making him all the more unattainable. Justin felt that rush of inferiority once again, but his eyes were set, not straying even if his mind was. He admired the stern expression that was ever present on Emmanuel’s features, as he performed with ease and effortlessness. Perhaps he should’ve been more anxious about his gaze being caught, however Emmanuel didn’t seem to be noticing him, as consumed by his endeavor as he was. He felt an unfamiliar flutter in his chest, though he didn’t know if he should be thankful that his chest was the target of that warm feeling. Either way, it was problematic. He and Se-Jin parted with a polite smile as the playing ended momentarily, and Emmanuel took a break. 

“Stop staring,” Justin mouthed to himself in irritation at his own recklessness. “What would happen if you got caught?”

But maybe it was that curiosity that made his eyes betray his intent and fall upon Emmanuel again. And as fate would have it; he got caught. Even now as Emmanuel was looking right at him, and the warmth spread from his chest to his cheeks, his eyes would still not obey him and let Emmanuel slip out of sight. So he simply looked on with a timid gaze, until Emmanuel took initiative and beckoned him over with the slight gesture of a hand. 

“Ah… look what you did,” He sighed, making his way toward the piano, only partially annoyed with himself since after all the outcome wasn’t too bad - almost like a reward for misbehaving. 

“Sit,” Emmanuel ordered, nodding at the seat next to him at the piano, and Justin promptly complied. “Do you know how to play?”

He shook his head somewhat shyly, wondering if Emmanuel had expected him to be able to play, and if he’d now be disappointed. He looked up at him, only to discover that he seemed slightly pleased. 

“Tap this key when you hear me play this part,” Emmanuel said, showing him the key, then demonstrating when he was supposed to press it. “It’s not too difficult. Do you want to give it a go?”

Justin nodded with a smile that lingered a bit too long for it to come across as reactionary, instead of being a reflection of his contentment with sitting closely and being engaged with. Emmanuel didn’t appear to mind this however, and he started playing, pausing only for Justin to press the key he’d been given. It didn’t sound good, which made Justin slightly anxious since it was clear the problem only occurred when it was time for him to press his key. Their movements weren’t compatible, and it earned some dissatisfied glances from the crowd that only made Justin more nervous. Emmanuel merely kept going, as if they were alone and the audience consisted of thin air in all its simplicity. 

“I’m sorry,” Justin stuttered, as his finger slipped and pressed the wrong key, earning a groan from the crowd. “I keep messing up.”

He tried steadying his hand but it continued to tremble, as they picked up more frowns and quiet laughs from the strangers, almost taunting. At that point he was starting to panic. It was such a simple task and he still couldn’t do it right, even as the movement repeated, he wasn’t getting any better. When he managed to hit two keys harshly at the same time, he startled both the crowd and himself. He was about to stutter another apology, but Emmanuel laid a hand on his own quivering one, gently.

“It’s okay,” He spoke softly, feeling Justin’s hand steadying beneath his grasp. “Don’t think. Just listen, and it’ll come naturally.”

He led Justin’s hand, pressing the key gently so that it matched his own pace. When he let go, Justin continued easily and almost flawlessly, until their movements complimented each other. The distortions of the rhythm and sharp interruptions had now melted away, and the piece that emerged was smooth and soothing. Almost as much as when Emmanuel was playing by himself. Soon they were experimenting and Justin got more keys to press, all of this seemingly distracting them from anything else that could’ve possibly required their attention. Because when they were finally done playing, fingers stiff and aching just slightly, nearly everyone had gone home. Here and there, people were cleaning up and both of the Clara’s were discussing something over a red folder in the corner of Justin’s sight. 

“You did well,” Emmanuel smiled, chuckling slightly as Justin’s cheeks flared up again. “You don’t have to look so flustered. We’re just getting started.”

Before Justin had a chance to ask what he meant, Emmanuel stood up, light reflecting in the buttons of his suit-vest before he was gone. That situation seemed all too familiar and Justin sighed, slumping back until he realized that he’d tip over if he did so.

Just getting started?

***

Justin had been at the company only a week when he’d started to notice things that he perceived as strange. For starters, in Emmanuel’s office above the glass barriers were blinds, however they were never touched, and Justin didn’t know their purpose. It seemed that whatever went on inside didn’t need to be hidden, so why the blinds? Something else he’d learned was that the women on the top floor were not just scantily clad, they were color coded. And so blond Clara wore red without exception, and brunette Clara wore navy blue. It was the same for other women he didn’t know the names of, and hadn’t asked the names of either. They all wore specific colors, all except Se-Jin who wore whatever pleased her. Another - perhaps not too surprising - thing that Justin had noticed was that Emmanuel’s schedule was endless, and that meant that Justin usually got off work before him. Emmanuel would also be there in the morning before Justin showed up, working diligently and tirelessly. Weekends as well when Justin wasn’t there. It was almost draining to even imagine, and Justin wondered if he ever had an opportunity to just sleep in or take a day off. All of this he’d noticed mostly from the schedule and Emmanuel’s habits, but a certain frame was marked down as “PT” which was something he couldn’t decipher, and when asking around about it was simply brushed off. PT only occurred during Justin’s off-hours, so maybe it wasn’t any of his concern either way. 

“I told you not to move things around,” Blond Clara scolded, moving the pencil holder back in place, as Justin looked on apologetically. “Thank god he didn’t notice.”

It was a small detail that even someone like Justin who’d been sitting at that desk for a week probably wouldn’t have paid much mind to, unless, that is, it was pointed out. 

“How do you know he didn’t?” Justin asked, glancing at Emmanuel who was sitting at the desk in his office, clearly preoccupied with a stack of papers.

“If he had then you’d be fired.”

He chuckled slightly, until he realized she wasn’t joking. Still, he doubted it. He’d made several mistakes already, and yet each time Emmanuel had been especially lenient with him. That was another strange thing he had no explanation for, and really didn’t bother speculating about. Everything was already complex enough, and he could certainly find a way to just be thankful for that leniency without questioning it. 

He was staring again. This wasn’t unusual, although it would probably be less troublesome if it was. Emmanuel turned his head, almost as if he’d felt Justin’s eyes on him, and in turn; Justin promptly lowered his gaze with cheeks flaring up again. He narrowly resisted the urge to slam his head against the desk, instead pretending to be occupied with a document on his computer, even though he had no clue what the document said, or what he was pretending to be doing with it. 

“You’re quite...” Clara smirked teasingly. “Obvious about it.”

Justin simply sighed, not seeing any proper way to refute her remark, or if that was even of any use. He was about to apologize, but that didn’t seem quite right either. He didn’t have to dwell on it much longer as Emmanuel came out of his office, approaching the desk with his signature neutral expression on his face. His timing couldn’t have been much worse, since Justin still looked flustered, and he couldn’t exactly follow his instinct and hide under the desk. Why was he even having such an odd instinct, and why was he considering acting on the fringes of what could be considered natural? Not even natural, just plain absurd.

“I need the financial statements from last year’s third and fourth quarter,” Emmanuel said, focusing exclusively on Clara, as to make it obvious that Justin’s input wasn’t needed. “They aren’t in the digital archives. Do you know if we have them somewhere else?”

“We must have a set in the basement,” Clara answered, crossing her arms over her red dress before continuing. “I can go find them once I’m finished delineating the matter of the appropriated costs in relation to the current fiscal policy.”

“No need,” Emmanuel said, mirroring her movement while turning to Justin who appeared more or less dumbfounded by the situation. “Justin and I will go get them.”

By the mention of his name Justin nearly flinched, feeling yet another tinge of warmth in his chest, barely catching an eager smile from forming on his lips. Clara didn’t look nearly as delighted, furrowing her brow with skepticism, much to Justin’s curiosity. 

“That’s a lot of stairs,” She pointed out, looking rather concerned. “Are you sure that’s what you want to spend your energy on? You’re barely eating these days in the first place.”

Emmanuel shot her a castigating glance, subtly warning her that she was crossing a line by bringing up such personal information in front of a subordinate. Even Justin wondered how she hadn’t been more cautious, knowing the type of person Emmanuel was. Furthermore, would they really be using the stairs? It seemed so, but what for?

“There’s going to be too many folders to carry up the stairs. That would be too difficult, and time-consuming.” Emmanuel explained. “We’re taking the elevator.”

Of course, this had appeared perfectly obvious and rational to Justin, but Clara looked absolutely startled. Although he perceived it as comical, it was definitely a serious topic and he should regard it as such. But how could he when the explanation was lacking and he was utterly confused. What was the big deal anyway?

“Are you sure you don’t want me to-”

“Let’s go.” Emmanuel ordered, cutting her off with his dismissive response, while gesturing for Justin to follow. 

“I didn’t know there was another elevator,” Justin said, as Emmanuel pressed the button. 

It was further from his desk than the twin elevators he usually took, though, so were the stairs. He hadn’t really bothered looking around much, at least now he knew it existed. The other elevators would tend to become pretty crowded, and although that might have been the case for this one as well, he’d keep it in mind.

“It’s for staffers on the top floor only,” Emmanuel answered, watching the elevator doors open with an expression Justin couldn’t quite read. “Go in first.”

Justin did as he was told, though he was wondering why Emmanuel was being so circumspect. His only guess as to the strange request was that the space seemed more approachable with a person inside. However, even once Justin was inside Emmanuel still hesitated, visibly cautious and averse to joining him. Justin almost wanted to ask why this was, and if there was anything he could do. Knowing Emmanuel, although only vaguely, he recognized that this perhaps wasn’t a good idea. Had he needed help he would’ve asked, or rather, he didn’t need help.

“Right…” He mumbled, fidgeting slightly with his hands before stepping on, not looking at Justin even though said’s worried gaze remained on him.

He stood stiffly, crossing his arms tightly in a manner that could be considered hugging oneself, nevertheless waiting patiently for the doors to close. When they did, his eyes widened ever so slightly, and he turned his focus to his shoes instead, clenching his jaw as they descended. Justin wasn’t sure if he should try to make small talk, or just stay quiet. Emmanuel didn’t look like someone who wanted to talk, but maybe the reason for that could be resolved if he at least tried. 

“Clara said you don’t eat much,” He started, quickly realizing that this topic might not have been the right one, or even an appropriate one. “Is there anything specific you like though?” 

He wasn’t intending to send a signal of pity or misplaced sympathy, he just didn’t know what else he should have led with. In any case, he hoped that Emmanuel would appreciate the effort if nothing else. The atmosphere wasn’t any lighter, especially with the absence of an answer, which indicated that he’d probably messed up.

“Just…” Emmanuel answered, his voice barely audible, and his grip of himself tightening. “Something sweet I guess.”

Justin nodded, noticing that the reason Emmanuel had had trouble answering, was because he wasn’t breathing properly, and his mind was most certainly somewhere else. So this was why Clara hadn’t wanted him to take the elevator? She knew him better than Justin, and apparently she’d known about this too, so why didn’t Emmanuel listen to her. Even he himself would’ve, or should’ve, realized that this was an error easily avoidable. It wasn’t much use speculating about it now, and he’d just have to endure. Evidently however, he wasn’t doing a good job at it, and it was starting to make Justin uneasy as well. His hands were trembling, much to his annoyance and he gripped the edges of his pockets instead to steady them, though it was more or less ineffective. They weren’t even halfway, and at this rate he couldn’t tell if he’d be in a lucid state of mind once they finally reached the basement. 

Justin could tell that Emmanuel was on the verge of panicking, observing him as he panted and gasped, trying to aid the delusion of being deprived of oxygen. He didn’t look scared, he just appeared to be struggling, and Justin wondered what he would’ve done if he was alone in the elevator, not having to worry what Justin might think of him if he lost his composure completely. Obviously the presence of another person meant that he had to - at least to some degree - remain decent. Despite the lightheadedness, nausea, small black dots starting to form and obscure his vision; he still stood upright. For a little while longer.

Justin decided to interfere, despite risking exacerbating the situation or overstepping an unspoken boundary. He gently brushed his fingers against the back of Emmanuel’s hand, in a silent invitation, waiting either to be reprimanded or for his hand to be accepted. He wasn’t sure yet. Emmanuel hesitantly loosened the grip of his pocket, just enough for Justin to replace the fabric with his own grasp. As if a knot in his throat had vanished, Emmanuel was able to breathe again. Rigid and slightly troubled, but needless to say; it would have to do.

The elevator stopped and the doors finally opened, earning a sigh from Emmanuel who withdrew his hand harshly, much to Justin’s astonishment.

“Don’t treat me like a child,” He scoffed arrogantly, as if Justin had acted deeply inappropriate. 

He didn’t look back as he stepped out, rather unsteadily on his feet but nevertheless managing by himself. Justin wasn’t sure what to say, or if he should apologize even though he didn’t see what exactly he’d done that was deserving of such a reaction. He’d barely paid any attention to his surroundings, as breathtaking as they were. The surfaces weren’t white or grey like the rest of the building, but more akin to an old library. It would have been dark, had the lights not shun yellow, illuminating the oak shelves. He followed Emmanuel, keeping a distance for both their sake, suppressing any questions that had surfaced as a result of the situation. Instead he decided to ask an unrelated question to ease the tension.

“What do you need the… uh… folders for?” He stuttered, having forgotten what the folders actually contained. 

“I need the financial statements for my speech tomorrow at the national climate convention,” Emmanuel answered, reading the labels of several folders before picking out different ones, and placing them in Justin’s arms for him to carry. “I might have to stay into the night at the office in order to finish in time. That means you’ll stay as well, and if you behave then I’ll let you read the draft.”

It seemed like a small reward, and one that Justin could appreciate even though the remark was slightly demeaning. In the end wasn’t Emmanuel the one treating him like a child, and not the other way around? Furthermore, he wasn’t sure what the speech was about. Climate, he supposed. He’d seen the date marked down in Emmanuel’s calendar but didn’t know the specifics, or whether it concerned him. 

“Of course,” He simply answered, as Emmanuel stacked more folders on top of the ones he was already holding. “You weren’t kidding when you said there’d be too many to carry up the stairs.”

“Indeed,” Emmanuel merely hummed in response, carrying a stack of his own to the elevator, placing it on the ground inside, and gesturing for Justin to get on. “Bring those up with you. I’m taking the stairs.”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked, surprise and confusion painting his features. “Do you know how many floors that is? You’ll drop dead before you reach the top. Why don’t you just-”

He cut himself off instantly as he saw Emmanuel’s expression, not to mention the silent plea in his eyes saying ‘Shut up won’t you?’ and if he’d vocalized this, then the tone would have been tired. The hostility was not towards Justin, but himself. 

“I thought I could…” He started, looking inside the elevator with a reluctant gaze. “But I can’t.”

Justin finally obeyed, getting on without Emmanuel who turned toward the stairs instead. Just imagining it made Justin exhausted, and it really did seem incomprehensible, but Emmanuel apparently didn’t mind? And that’s when he realized that Emmanuel took the stairs every single day, he’d just never seen it because Justin wasn’t there in the morning when he arrived or in the evening when he left. Perhaps that was why his body was so fit. A thought like that was one he’d usually curse himself for having, but this time he’d afford himself the privilege of considering it to have been innocent. He shook his head to prevent the usual warmth from settling in his cheeks, recognizing that had it really been innocent, then he wouldn’t be so flustered.

  
  


“Why were you waiting for me?” Emmanuel frowned, walking right past Justin who’d been patiently waiting in front of the staircase. “Get back to work.”

Justin followed him back to the office, wondering how Emmanuel was only slightly out of breath, that being the only visible sign of exertion. If he’d taken the stairs that many floors he’d be drenched in sweat, and probably on the verge of fainting. But Emmanuel was used to it after all so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to him. He was quite astonished nevertheless. Emmanuel instantly noticed the folders already on his desk, and promptly turned to Justin with a reignited frown.

“Don’t enter my office as you please,” He scolded, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t given Justin any other instructions on where to put them. “Ask for permission.”

Justin had entered his office several times without permission, and Emmanuel knew this. It was obvious that the sudden complaint was only the result of a preexisting irritation, and both of them would dismiss it as such. Justin still nodded, thinking it better to just validate Emmanuel’s annoyance, or try to ease it. 

“Should I-” He tried, but Emmanuel had already shut the door behind him, and before Justin had a chance to speculate any further Se-Jin walked past him and entered the office. 

Emmanuel didn’t look too pleased about this, not reserving the frown only for Justin but readily directing it at her as well. They appeared to be having a tense conversation and Justin decided to leave them be. He wasn’t sure why she was exempted from the restriction Emmanuel had outlined when he’d said not to enter his office without permission, but perhaps it was none of his business.

“I didn’t know they’d even argue about it…” Clara scoffed, settling in next to Justin against his desk, both of them observing the two people behind the glass barrier arguing.

“You snitched?” Justin asked, not seeing the purpose in that, or why Se-Jin of all people had to know. “About him taking the elevator, when clearly it’s not something he’s capable of?”

She crossed her arms, looking on as Se-Jin reached out for Emmanuel’s hand before he pulled away just like he’d done when Justin had held his hand. Evidently, Emmanuel wasn’t functioning well in the context of physical contact, which was a surprise to no one it appeared. He ignored her by occupying himself with the folders, and Justin found it rather comical how suddenly Emmanuel probably wasn’t annoyed with how they’d been brought directly to his desk.

“I thought I’d at least tell Miss Macron,” Clara answered, shrugging as Justin’s eyes widened at her reply. “She’s supposed to be able to handle him.”

Se-Jin was Emmanuel’s wife? It made sense however. She was wearing clothes of her own choosing and wasn’t sticking to a specific color like the rest of the women on the top floor. She was allowed to enter the office as she pleased, and she was the one Clara had informed of the situation that had occurred with regards to the elevator. Justin’s heart started racing immediately, as realization crept onto his face. He was instantly worried whether having held Emmanuel’s hand or having danced with his superior’s wife had caused problems, or would in the future cause problems. He told himself that such incidents could easily be passed off as platonic, and there was no reason to panic.

“I see…” He sighed, calming himself down and allowing another feeling to take hold of him; namely disappointment. “Not that it concerns me.”

***

He sat at the table in the break room, reading a copy of the draft of Emmanuel’s speech. Brunette Clara was making coffee which to Justin appeared odd since she was about to head home like most of the other employees. As far as he knew it would only be him and Emmanuel left on the top floor when the clock flashed 8 PM. 

“Isn’t it a little late for coffee?” He asked, still focused on the draft but ears bothered by the sound of her rustling in the background.

“No, and I don’t have any at home,” She simply answered. “I don’t intend to buy any either.”

Justin didn’t bother answering. His mind was already somewhere else and his thought process was going haywire. He still hadn’t fully recovered from having found out that Emmanuel was married, and he assumed that it would take a considerable amount of time for him to get used to. He couldn’t explain why it somehow made his chest ache in a dull purposeless way, or whether it would go away soon.

“I do not believe it is merely one solution, I believe it is the  _ only  _ solution.” He cited the draft, having already read the line to himself several times.

“That’s pretty good,” Clara pointed out, blowing at the hot coffee. “I think Emmanuel would like that.”

Justin chuckled slightly, smiling for the first time since his talk with the other Clara earlier, and discovering what he had.

“I suppose he would.”

***

Justin stood outside the office, about to grab the door handle but hesitated as he remembered that he was supposed to ask for permission if he wanted to enter. Emmanuel had of course seen him approaching, and rolled his eyes before beckoning him inside. His eyes appeared less tired, even though he’d been working consecutively since Justin had last seen him, but perhaps he’d just needed to distract himself. He was the type of person who recharged by staying efficient, Justin thought, considering that there was no other explanation for him being able to maintain such long work hours. 

“Sorry about earlier,” Emmanuel said, turning a page in the folder in front of him, most likely to deprive the apology of much significance. “I was in a regretful… mood, so to speak.”

Justin appreciated the sentiment, unconventional as it was, he still smiled slightly with the hope of reconciliation. He reminded himself that he should probably return the gesture with an apology of his own, in case it would further improve their relationship. 

“About that… I’m also sorry. I shouldn’t have held your hand without having been asked to do so. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.” He said, hands folded rather nervously. “I didn’t know you were married.”

Emmanuel looked surprised, and Justin realized that having mentioned Emmanuel’s marriage could easily be misunderstood, and his action could be misinterpreted as well. If it had been platonic - which Justin was eager to present it as - then Emmanuel’s marriage would have been of no importance to the context. He wasn’t sure how to fix this, and regretted having brought it up in the first place, but it was something he couldn’t redo or retract, so he simply hoped that it would go unnoticed.

“I’m married?” Emmanuel chuckled, still carrying a perplexed expression. “May I ask to whom?”

Justin had an urge to question Emmanuel about whether he was making fun of him, but Emmanuel looked just as confused as Justin himself. Had Clara been mistaken, and in turn made him mistaken as well by misinforming him? Even so, things didn’t quite add up, since the fact still stood; Se-Jin was different, and Emmanuel clearly regarded her as such.

“Se-Jin?” He asked, sounding less certain of himself at that point. 

Even though that guess seemed to surprise Emmanuel, he also smiled as if he found it to be particularly comical. Justin merely waited patiently for some clarity, that so far he hadn’t received. Was there a clue he was missing?

“No,” Emmanuel chuckled, kindly more than patronizingly, which Justin appreciated. “I’m not married to my sister.”

Justin’s jaw nearly hit the floor in response to what Emmanuel had told him, and he made an effort not to look too astonished. Se-Jin was indeed family, however, not the kind Justin had assumed. It explained a lot, not just her last name being Macron but much of what Justin had attributed to her being ‘close’ to Emmanuel. There was still the tiny, yet immense detail that Se-Jin was Asian, and Emmanuel was not. He would have voiced this incompatibility, if it hadn’t been - in his opinion at least - racist for him to do so. 

“Adopted sister,” Emmanuel explained, perhaps having noticed Justin’s reluctance to mention what was obviously on his mind. “But enough about that,” He continued, despite the abundance of questions that Justin now had. “Did you read the draft?”

Justin smiled shyly, remembering the draft of the speech he’d been so invested in prior to entering the office. Of course he’d read it. He was now having an internal argument about whether or not he should admit how inspiring and perplexing he’d found it to be. How his admiration had exceeded any previous amount he’d thought possible. How he’d nearly memorized the entire thing, and felt the essence of the words stain his tongue as he’d pronounced them inaudibly to himself, wondering with which delicacy they’d imprint themselves in his conscience had they emerged from Emmanuel’s own lips. 

“Yeah,” He simply answered, stunned by his own self-awareness, and how his thoughts had spun out of control more than once before he could deliver even a casual reply. “I noticed the gap where you’re intending to add the financial statements, and I think it’ll fit very well.”

“Is that all?” Emmanuel asked, seemingly discouraged by Justin’s vague response. 

How troublesome. If he wasn’t careful, he’d likely start rambling, and reveal just how much he actually had to say about Emmanuel’s speech. If he was too generous with his compliments then the feedback would surely come across as disingenuous, but he didn’t want to give Emmanuel the impression that the speech was merely adequate. He knew that without a filter, he’d end up saying something stupid.

“I didn’t know that much about nuclear energy, but the draft was very informative,” He said, limiting himself to that single compliment, and hoping that it was sufficient.

“You work at a company exclusively focused on nuclear energy and the purpose of such, but you didn’t know much about it?” Emmanuel asked, ignoring the rest of the comment he’d received. “Then why did you come here?” 

“I came here for you,” Justin answered, saying something stupid just like he’d suspected he would. “I may not know much about the subject, but I know about the passion with which you regard it. I knew you were the man I wanted to serve.”

At that point his cheeks were burning, and the blush was seeping into the rest of his features as well. He’d told the truth, but he’d said too much. Surely he’d now be fired, or at the very least reprimanded. They both looked at the clock in unison, same thought crossing their minds; that they were alone. The lights of the city were blooming behind the glass, flickering radiantly, red among the colors, this being the one which resembled the shade of Justin’s face. 

“You’re so innocent,” Emmanuel smiled, before it turned into a greedy smirk. “It makes me want to corrupt you.” 

Justin carefully rested his gaze on the man in front of him, and every memory of him now played to the backdrop of his own heartbeat. He remembered Emmanuel as a monumental figure perched on a pedestal of Justin’s own creation before he’d met him. Now this inanimate facade Justin had admired to a ridiculous extent had turned sentient, and the chinks in his armor were on display. Like in the elevator when Emmanuel’s vulnerability had revealed him to be more than just a flawless front page, easing an inferiority complex that Justin initially hadn’t minded, and still somewhat didn’t. He remembered how Emmanuel had held his trembling hand when they’d played the piano together, and how that gesture of kindness had left a lingering warmth to be harbored by Justin’s conscience. He remembered how Emmanuel’s smirk never failed to intimidate him in such a tantalizing manner, and his fervent eyes those of someone having earned his place, and the respect of every sensible being. His arrogance simply an intricate part of his attitude towards his surroundings, and he’d be sure to convince anyone in doubt that this arrogance was not misplaced. This man was who he wanted to serve. Who he wanted to please. Whom he wanted.

“Justin…” Emmanuel whispered, stern voice twisting alluringly, as his glance dropped beneath Justin’s belt. “You’re hard.”

The words came out of nowhere, at least in Justin’s case, because he somehow hadn’t noticed, and hadn’t expected this. He instantly looked down, startled to find that he was indeed hard, and that Emmanuel was aware of it as well.

“I-” Justin stuttered, words escaping him as he contemplated if he should make an excuse, or simply own up to the fact that he’d gotten himself excited. “It just… on it’s own. I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t sure what Emmanuel’s subtle smile meant, or what he was thinking in that moment, but then again, what was he supposed to think? How should one react to such a peculiar situation? Emmanuel certainly appeared amused, but in what way; Justin couldn’t tell. It might not have been taunting or condescending, but it could be interpreted that way, and Justin was starting to panic. He’d already apologized but he didn’t know if it was enough, and since he’d already made a fool of himself by saying inappropriate things, this could be the last straw. He was frozen in place however, perhaps waiting for something, but not entirely sure what.

“Why?” Emmanuel asked, calm in a way that contrasted strictly to Justin’s own reaction. “Are you turned on?”

Justin’s gaze darted nervously, but never landed on Emmanuel who was waiting patiently for him to explain himself. Like the heavy blush, the situation in his pants consuming all the attention in the room, was something he wasn’t able to control. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to cover it up, or focus all his efforts on making it go away, but as it were, he’d messed up.

“I’m so sorry,” He sighed, finally looking at Emmanuel, and realizing that he was expecting a definitive answer. “Yes. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

Continually saying sorry wouldn’t change anything, and somehow Emmanuel seemed mostly unbothered to begin with, as if it wasn’t unusual in the slightest. Maybe he was even enjoying observing Justin in that pitiable state of embarrassment, and how he was squirming nervously. 

“What were you fantasizing about?” Emmanuel asked softly, watching Justin from under his lashes with intrigue. 

Justin didn’t know what to say, or if the truth was too inappropriate, because if Emmanuel knew, would he think less of him? Perhaps he already did, considering the circumstances.

“Please don’t ask me that when you know the answer in advance,” Justin said, his breathing becoming uneven. 

There was a growing curiosity between them, not knowing the other’s intention, or where the line was. It might have already dissolved when Justin had decided to instigate something he undoubtedly had no control over. He was starting to get uncomfortable standing there with such an obvious problem, shy under Emmanuel’s preying gaze. 

“Can I… go now?” He asked, rather uncertain if he was allowed to ask, and even so, they both knew exactly what he’d do once no longer being in Emmanuel’s presence, which was the only thing reassuring his own decency.

Emmanuel didn’t look pleased with this however, and stepped around the desk to stand in front of Justin. His ability to stare him down in spite of the height difference, never failed to intimidate Justin, and he took advantage of this as he stepped further into Justin’s personal space.

“Go?” He asked with an amused expression, that made no promise of sparing Justin even had he begged. “So you can masturbate alone in some public bathroom? That’s not quite fair is it? You’ve spent all this time provoking me, and then you won’t let me have my fun. But you know… I’m not as benevolent as you think, and after this I might just have to fuck you up.”

His voice was still dangerously neutral, and even with the message he was relaying; he managed to appear fully composed and put together. Justin couldn’t help but nod obediently, incapable of doing anything but. Perhaps it was Emmanuel’s way of getting back at him for holding his hand in the elevator and supposedly treating him like a child. It seemed more complicated than this however. Almost as if Emmanuel had merely been waiting for things to align in such a way that he could snap in a perfectly sane manner.

“Let me see what I’m working with,” He whispered appreciatively, as he observed Justin’s figure.

He calmly unbuckled Justin’s belt as if routine, unbuttoning his shirt next and letting his gaze fall on the pale chest previously hidden beneath the white fabric. He ran a single fingertip from Justin’s lower abdomen, further down gripping the waistband of his underwear and pulling it so that it parted from Justin’s skin enough for him to look. Justin felt Emmanuel’s eyes on the most intimate part of him, and shivered slightly in response. 

“Consider me positively surprised,” He said casually, licking his lips as Justin’s member reacted to what appeared to be a compliment. “And to think you were shy.”

Emmanuel focused his touch elsewhere however, purposely neglecting the part of Justin that needed his attention the most. He instead ran his hands across Justin’s chest, falling beneath his ribs to measure his waist. He applied slight pressure with his fingertips, as he felt the warmth against his touch, and smirked as Justin failed to suppress a whimper. Emmanuel didn’t let this distract him though, he wasn’t in a hurry like Justin might have wanted him to be, and the teasing was fulfilling on its own. Justin could only wonder why he himself wasn’t doing anything, moving, engaging. But it was obvious that if he were to move, he’d undermine Emmanuel, in some way or other, even if the instructions were unclear to him. His breathing was something he could control in a way that wasn’t restricted, and yet he was doing a remarkably poor job at keeping it steady. His lungs pushed uncomfortably against his ribs from quick breaths he took in a moment until the next where he managed to forget how to breathe on the cue of Emmanuel’s hands. Whenever they dropped beneath his waist, it was only a tease, and soon they’d be back idly playing with his chest. It was so excruciatingly unsatisfying, even as much as he wanted Emmanuel’s tentative touch, this wasn’t enough, and certainly not the place he wanted it. He was suddenly provoked enough to step out of line; carelessly reaching out to lay a hand on Emmanuel’s hip, but his wrist was promptly caught. 

“Don’t touch me as you please,” Emmanuel said sternly, gaze shifting from Justin’s wrist still firmly in his grasp, to his desperate expression. 

It seemed he’d decided on the appropriate course of punishment, giving a resolute nod to the floor, and waiting for Justin to obey the unspoken command. 

“I’m sorry,” Justin apologized once again, kneeling before him, even as the act appeared so extremely unnatural to him. 

Kneeling at someone’s feet was a shameful act, unless performed during a proposal. And this was definitely not a proposal. He wasn’t on one knee either, he was resting the back of his thighs on his heels, with both knees on the floor. Emmanuel took another amused glance at him, with a spark of satisfaction in his eyes, before stepping on Justin’s inner thigh to push it to the side, spreading it from the other thigh. Justin let out a strangled moan, as the fabric of his trousers were stretched, and tightened around his erection. Even though his pants were relatively loose, the additional strain was almost unbearable, and he laid a hand over his bulge as if aching to solve the problem.

“That looks quite painful,” Emmanuel pointed out, incredibly entertained by Justin’s pitiable state. “Aren’t you going to take care of that?”

Of course, what had he expected? Justin still looked astonished by what Emmanuel was tacitly suggesting, although everything until then had been just as absurd. However, he breathed heavily as he considered what he was about to do in front of someone he barely knew, let alone someone who could fire him on a whim if he so pleased. Emmanuel’s arms were crossed over his chest, staring down at Justin, and waiting for him to follow the inferred instructions. 

“You look like you’re about to burst,” He said, tone getting more condescending as Justin continued to hesitate. “You’re wet too aren’t you? I think you’ve misbehaved enough already, so why don’t you be a good boy and touch yourself.”

Justin sunk deeper into his preexisting blush, hand inching closer to his waistband, and eventually making its way into his pants. Even then, he still paused, knowing that every inch of his being was telling him that this was unnatural. It wasn’t sex, nor intimacy. But then again; would it have been if he’d been doing it alone? Somehow Emmanuel’s eyes fixated on him was exciting in a way unfamiliar to Justin, and he shamelessly started stroking himself. His breath became rigid in tact with the movement of his wrist, and the built up desperation and lust suddenly flooded him, until he was hissing and gripping the leg of Emmanuel’s trousers. He was almost too distracted by the pleasure to be aware of how he’d touched Emmanuel without permission, or that he might be punished. However Emmanuel didn’t do anything, perhaps because the contact was minimal and it was mostly just his trousers. Justin didn’t let that small detail pass him by though, taking note that he was being allowed this, and that Emmanuel’s leniency - however present - wasn’t limitless. He moaned loudly, not regarding this as a problem since they were alone, and as if being rewarded for this; Emmanuel played with his hair, letting his fingers get lost in the long locks of dark hair. The adrenaline and thrill was driving Justin to the very edge of his senses, heightening his sensitivity and clouding his mind. He carelessly leaned his head against Emmanuel’s thigh, and the previously gently hand in his hair instantly pulled him back. He whimpered in frustration, however the displeasure was quickly forgotten as he continued stimulating himself. It wouldn’t be the first time falling out of discipline though, and seconds later he was leaning against Emmanuel’s thigh again; accordingly getting pulled back by the hair. Despite this, Justin finally succeeded in reaching climax, tightening his grip of Emmanuel’s trousers, and lifting slightly off his heels as he writhed while completing the orgasm. He slowly caught his breath, as his surroundings stopped spinning, and his head started clearing up again. It was only an entire minute post orgasm he realized what he’d done, eyes widening in panic. 

“I-” He tried, but the words got jammed before they managed to leave his lips, and he was left speechless while staring at his semen that was covering Emmanuel’s shoes.

Emmanuel didn’t look the least bit surprised, merely tilting his head as he observed his dirtied shoes. If anything, he was utterly pleased with the twist of events, considering it perfectly reasonable to take advantage of this unusual situation.

“You know what to do now don’t you?” He asked, smile bordering one of derangement, although ever sane and neutral. “Clean it up,” He elaborated, making sure that he couldn’t be misunderstood. “With your tongue.”

Justin gasped, completely caught off guard. His instincts were telling him to resist, but as it were, he’d already ignored his instincts multiple times that night. This time only added to the score. He lowered himself down on all fours, seemingly afraid that whatever Emmanuel could punish him with would be worse than this if he didn’t follow through with it. He slowly licked the residue off Emmanuel’s otherwise blank shoes, choking back the gags from his body trying to reject what he was ingesting. He felt thoroughly humiliated, demeaned and shameful. It was leaving a dull ache in his stomach, and his heart was beating out of his chest, causing him to nearly hyperventilate as he remained on his knees in front of Emmanuel.

When the surfaces of Emmanuel’s shoes were clean, he directed his attention to the floor that had also been stained with… and almost let out an audible whimper. How far would he have to go? He couldn’t ask, and he wouldn’t dare raise his head for a sign of approval from Emmanuel. The mere gaze on him was weighing so heavily, forcing his neck to tremble under it, even though it was only illusory. He took another shaky breath, trying to steady himself before leaning further down until finally Emmanuel broke the silence.

“That’s enough,” He said, strict yet patient with Justin who was struggling to regain his composure. “You did well. Stand back up.”

Justin let out a sigh of relief, feeling the knot in his throat loosening ever so slightly in response to the small sign of reassurance. However, as he stood up he still stumbled, somewhat lightheaded, and Emmanuel caught him before he fell back down to his knees. 

“Easy,” Emmanuel whispered, keeping a hand on his waist to steady him. “You held out better than I’d expected. Of course, I was fairly gentle with you.”

Justin’s mind glitched for a second at the sheer absurdity of what Emmanuel had just said. In what reality could how Emmanuel had treated him be considered ‘gentle’? And what, pray tell, was rough then? Dawning on him in that moment though, was the fact that he was unaware of what would happen next. What it all meant was another speculation he wasn’t certain if he wanted to pursue, or if he could. He was absolutely stunned, because none of it made any sense, and even trying to piece it all together was nearly impossible. Emmanuel hadn’t given Justin any clear signals that could satisfy his curiosity, and Justin could under no circumstance ask. He was still struck by an almost debilitating sense of humiliation, surely having made itself apparent in his expression by now.

“Am I getting fired?” He finally spoke, thankful that ‘sorry’ wasn’t the phrase to leave his lips this time. 

He closed his eyes momentarily with a sigh, knowing that he must’ve looked completely distraught, and that it was sure to unsettle Emmanuel, at least to some extent. But Emmanuel simply crossed his arms again, neutral as he tended to be, even in that moment where he should - in Justin’s opinion - be anything but.

“No,” He answered, easing Justin’s concern, although he couldn’t deny he was entertained by Justin’s nervousness. “I’ll wrap things up. You should head home.”

Justin interpreted the fact that he was being sent home earlier than the previous arrangements as him having messed up. There was a part of him that was utterly relieved that he was being let off, since he could hardly stand himself for what he’d just done. But of course, this wasn’t the note on which he wanted things to end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 6 months and three hospitalizations later and I'm finally uploading a new fanfic ;))   
> This is gonna be a messed up one so hold on tight :p


	2. Indispensable

Justin felt the navy blue sleeve of Clara’s dress brushing against his arm, standing beside her as they watched the black car drive off. Emmanuel had chosen Blond Clara to accompany him for the climate convention, and Justin supposed it was preplanned and due to her experience; experience that Justin didn’t have. Somehow a part of him was adamant in believing that Emmanuel was avoiding him, even if Justin more than anyone was being avoidant. He hadn’t met Emmanuel’s eyes once since the night before, making for some rather awkward situations. He didn’t regret the events that had taken place that evening, yet he was extremely anxious that Emmanuel, on the contrary, harbored regret. It all felt somewhat surreal. He’d never been in such a situation before, and for good reason; it just wasn’t normal. 

“When will they be back?” Justin asked, as if his parents had left him to be alone with a babysitter. 

“Some time in the afternoon probably,” Clara answered, wind scattering her amber hair across her features. “Depends if everything goes according to schedule. Let’s head back inside.”

Justin followed her back inside the building, wondering if his anxiety would be less significant by the time Emmanuel would return. Suddenly a thought crossed his mind, persisting as they got on the elevator, even though he was trying desperately to will it away. Emmanuel was always in his office or somewhere near, but this time, no one would be there. If he got caught in there he could probably figure out an excuse, like having to drop something off. But… was it a risk worth taking just for the sake of curiosity? Indeed, he was immensely curious, and wanting to look around, even if it meant doing something that could only be described as, well, stupid. What was he expecting to find anyway? It was a private office, sure to have some items of significance. In Emmanuel’s case; likely nothing of sentimental value, considering his personality type. But then again, did Justin really know Emmanuel well enough to discern his personality type? Surely not, but perhaps examining his office Justin would find something helpful in getting to know Emmanuel better, without asking him, that is.

“By the way,” Clara mentioned, as the elevator neared the top floor. “We’re planning a little something for Emmanuel’s birthday that he’ll undoubtedly despise. Cake, we’re baking a birthday cake.”

Justin now had a slew of questions, most of which he felt almost embarrassed to ask. Such as; when was Emmanuel’s birthday and how could he have possibly forgotten about it? He didn’t want the fact that the mention of Emmanuel’s birthday had surprised him to become apparent, so he simply brushed over it, as if he’d known about it from the start. 

“Why would he despise a birthday cake?” He questioned, wondering if he’d missed something else since Emmanuel had expressed a fondness of sweets. 

Clara smiled slightly, and Justin suddenly became uncertain if he’d remembered correctly. In addition, if Emmanuel really despised it, why were they doing it? Were everyone on the top floor really so close they were comfortable doing something like that?

“He’ll enjoy the cake no doubt,” She answered, self-assured in a way Justin could only envy. “It’s the gesture he wont like. He’s not that keen on celebrating, or being the focus of that celebration. Unless it’s work related of course. So no party, just cake.”

Justin nodded to signal that he understood. In fact, everything she’d said seemed to align perfectly with how he perceived Emmanuel. What she was describing didn’t really surprise him in the slightest bit either, and he supposed she knew Emmanuel at least to a considerable extent. Another thought that crossed his mind in response to the situation, was that if everyone was busy in the breakroom, he’d have all the more autonomy when exploring Emmanuel’s office.

“You’re welcome to join,” She added, and the elevator came to a halt. “We have some smaller molds if you want to make something more personalized. If you know how to bake, and all.”

They both got off, and Justin considered her offer. He could join them later, once he’d finished searching the office. Certainly it wouldn’t take too long.

“Sure,” He smiled, hoping not to appear too evasive or disingenuous when delivering the other part of the sentence. “I have some work to finish first though. I’ll catch you later?”

Clara gave him a brief nod, despite the awkwardness of the delivery of his statement, nevertheless heading in the opposite direction, towards the break room. Justin took a quick breath, knowing that what he was about to do in that office might be even worse than what he’d done in there the last time.

*** 

As he remembered, every surface was clear and glossy, items kept neat and clean. It wasn’t that he couldn’t examine the surfaces from outside of the glass barriers. However, most of the time he avoided raising his gaze, out of fear that Emmanuel might catch him staring instead of working. And of course, if he were to raise his eyes it was to observe Emmanuel and nothing else pertaining to the office.

He stopped in front of the desk, almost on instinct, glance dropping to the floor where he’d knelt. It was clean. As his cheeks flared up, he silently wondered if Emmanuel himself had wiped the floor clean, even though he’d rather not have had that speculation playing in the back of his head, unaware that it would indeed stay there for quite a while. uncomfortably enough; the warmth was starting to gather somewhere else as well. Pushing away the recollection of the events that had led him to stop there in the first place; he went around the desk, pulling out the chair, and taking a seat. It was an odd feeling, one that he didn’t dwell on for too long before going through the drawers.

The first drawer didn’t reveal much. It was shallow, and didn’t carry a lot of items, much less anything of interest. He moved on to the next drawer, and this one seemed just as benign. His focus turned to the one beneath it, feeling strangely drawn to it. He held his breath, mentally preparing himself for what he might discover, then reaching out, and slowly opening it to find…

Nothing.

He wasn’t sure whether to be disappointed or relieved, nor what exactly he’d expected the drawer to contain. Nonetheless, the only thing meeting the eye was regular office supplies, and Justin merely sighed. He closed it again, leaning back up, and accidentally bumping his head against something under the desk. His heart jumped up his throat as all the blinds dropped simultaneously, covering the glass barriers. He looked under the desk for the source of the bruise that would undoubtedly form as a result of his clumsiness. There was a small button, seemingly connected to the controls to the blinds, and Justin pressed it impulsively. The blinds came back up, not making much sound, and he tilted his head with intrigue. It was a peculiar detail he’d stumbled upon due to his own carelessness, and he was somewhat thankful for the fact that he happened to be clumsy by nature. He decided to leave them up, in case someone came by, and he could keep an eye on the surroundings.

He moved on from the desk, to the twin sofas and the coffee table between them. Sliding his hand along the underside, he searched the table for another button, but found nothing. The surface was bare, save for a single ashtray that he knew Se-Jin happened to use occasionally when she visited Emmanuel’s office. She spent more time there than anyone else working at the company, aside from Emmanuel, even though Justin still wasn’t certain of her position, or supposed purpose there. He searched corner to corner, but nothing surfaced, and he figured he’d taken a risk in vain. The button was a detail not entirely worth having invaded the privacy of his superior, and the rational course of action was to get the hell out of there before he was caught. He was meant to meet up with Clara anyway, and he hoped that baking a cake could somehow ease the guilt trip he was about to have.

***

When he got to the break room he quickly scanned the surfaces to find them flooded with ingredients, presumably for the purpose of cooking. Most of the women there were already doing just that, and the fact that they were wearing aprons not matching the color of their dresses would probably give Emmanuel a stroke before the mess had a chance to. Justin found the scene to be quite amusing, and the atmosphere was remarkably light. A dainty pink apron caught his eye, and consumed his attention. He could almost picture it…

_ Sitting on top of Justin, wearing only that pink apron, draping his body so perfectly. Tied around his slim waist, it emphasized the curves of his figure, and the width of his hips. It nearly drove Justin crazy. _

_ “Is this what you wanted?” Emmanuel would ask, running his fingertips along his thigh suggestively. _

Snapping out of his fantasy with haste, before it became dangerous, Justin crossed his legs instinctively. He caught sight of a round mold that would be perfect for a small cake that he could customize as he pleased. He grabbed some of the ingredients, deciding to go with something simple, not knowing Emmanuel's tastes that well. Something sweet… something vanilla? If so, his sexual preferences certainly didn’t match his preferences in cake. Justin shoved that thought away as well however, figuring that Emmanuel and sex shouldn’t appear in the same context if he wanted to remain composed.

“Crack the eggs before adding sugar,” Se-Jin said, nearly making Justin pour sugar all over the counter. “Or you won’t know if you got eggshells in there.”

Justin cracked the eggs in the bowl first, checking for eggshells before adding the sugar, instead of the other way around. He looked up at Se-jin, giving her a look as if to ask “satisfied?” and she crossed her arms in response.

“This is actually very serious business,” She smiled, nodding at the bowl, and Justin couldn’t help but smile too. “The shell could very easily get lost in the sugar. You wouldn’t want that.”

He gave her an overexaggerated nod, stressing the fact that he found her perfectionistic side to be slightly comical. Emmanuel had the same trait, however it was much more unsettling to Justin. It represented itself in the color coding, and in Emmanuel’s mere being, and for the most part Justin found it to be more intimidating than anything else he could describe it as. 

“what are you baking?” Justin asked, assuming that she’d probably make something exactly to Emmanuel’s liking, considering that she knew him better.

“I’m not baking,” She answered, waving her hand dismissively, as if the mere suggestion was out of the question. “I will, however, be eating the cake they’re making.”

She pointed lazily to the apron-wearing women at the other counters, busily attending to what they were occupied with; namely cake. Justin noted that they seemed to be having fun, and Clara in particular was happier than Justin had seen her before. It was nice, he thought.

“You’re going to whisk them right?” Se-Jin asked, already knowing the answer. “Let me help you with an apron.”

She found a dark apron, putting it on for him, even though he was fully capable of doing so himself. She gestured for him to turn around, and he obediently followed her instruction, feeling a certain tingling as her hands reached around his waist to tie the apron. He could feel her standing close. Undoubtedly closer than what she’d need to, to tie it properly, although, Justin somehow didn’t mind. When she was done, he somewhat awkwardly smiled as he thanked her, forgetting the purpose of the apron entirely.

“Wouldn’t want to get dirty, now would we?” She whispered, in a rather vexing manner, one that reminded Justin of Emmanuel. “Have fun baking.”

And with that she was gone. Leaving Justin with the chilling thought that the two of them - Se-Jin and Emmanuel - were perfectly similar. It was simply another reason to be careful. And Justin surely intended to be just that.

***

After succeeding in making a fairly ugly cake, Justin had spent much of the day wondering when Emmanuel would return. He was supposed to be patient, but Emmanuel wasn’t back yet, and it was already past when Clara had reassured Justin that he’d return. In addition to that, Justin wasn’t sure if waiting in front of the stairs would be inappropriate, or if Emmanuel might appreciate the gesture. Recalling how he’d reacted rather negatively the last time Justin had done such a thing, it would probably be best not to, however tempting the option was. Justin knew he shouldn’t put that amount of effort into the consideration, since it simply reeked of desperation. But then again… wasn’t he desperate? If he’d had a tail, it would be wagging whenever in the presence of Emmanuel. He couldn’t help it though, however shameful that was. Emmanuel had made him shameful.

The elevator pinged, and Justin looked up confused, making his way towards it. He knew who it wasn’t, and so his curiosity sparked, as he wondered who it was. He nearly walked right into blond Clara, having forgotten that she’d been gone as well. 

“What are you doing,” She said, tone annoyed despite looking partially satisfied. “Get back to work.” 

“Where’s Emmanuel?” Justin asked, deciding to skip the pleasantries, and get straight to the point. 

Clara looked confused if not irritated that he was asking, probably perceiving the answer as being obvious. Nevertheless, she sighed, taking the time to respond. 

“It takes longer when you can’t use the elevator,” She explained, removing her red scarf. “You knew this already, so stop asking stupid questions. You’re ruining my good mood.”

Indeed, Justin was well aware that Emmanuel would be taking the stairs, yet he’d still somehow expected him and Clara to show up at the same time. He wanted to ask why she was in a good mood, and whether Emmanuel would be as well, however Clara was already busy approaching Se-Jin. He turned back, forgetting his previous conclusions and waited passively at the stairs. It wasn’t that long before Emmanuel returned as well, breathless as if he’d been out on a run, due to the way up the stairs.

“How did it go?” Justin asked excitedly, smiling when Emmanuel’s eyes met his. “The convention,” He clarified, even if he hadn’t needed to.

From what he could tell, Emmanuel wasn’t bothered at all that Justin had waited in front of the stairs for him to return, and his general mood seemed promising as well. The question appeared to delight him, indicating that he was pleased to answer.

“They loved the speech,” He started, as they walked back towards the office. “We gained some valuable investors as well. I think it’s fair to say it was a success.”

“Congratulations,” Justin said, thrilled that everything seemed to be working out so well. 

It was almost too fitting, considering how the speech coincided with Emmanuel’s birthday, and that cake would be a perfect celebration… right? He followed Emmanuel into his office, hesitating slightly but perceiving Emmanuel still talking as an invitation to enter.

“In any case,” He continued, taking off his coat as he spoke. “I’m having a meeting with some of these investors tomorrow, and hopefully this will push the company ahead in the clean energy sector.”

“That’s great,” Justin smiled, taking significant pleasure in seeing Emmanuel so elated. “Happy birthday by the way.”

He wasn’t sure if Emmanuel really wanted to be congratulated in this aspect, however he felt the need to do it anyway. Perhaps it was due to the light atmosphere, but the slight smile appearing on Emmanuel’s lips when he responded with a cordial nod was especially endearing to Justin. They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds longer, letting the sound of Emmanuel’s still rigid breathing fill the air, until it eventually settled down, and Justin remembered something. He returned to his own desk, quickly grabbing the small present, and returning to Emmanuel who observed him with relative confusion. 

“I forgot this,” He shyly stated, handing the present to Emmanuel, and chewing his lip expectantly. “I didn’t have much time to prepare anything, so Clara suggested that I… anyway, I know it’s not exactly…”

He trailed off at the sight of the cake, wondering if Emmanuel was thinking the same thing he was; it was a pretty ugly cake. But Emmanuel simply smiled, and for the first time Justin saw a hint of a blush on his features. Even if the blush could be attributed to a form of embarrassment on Justin’s behalf, it was most certainly worth it. 

“You made this for me?” He asked, looking up at Justin’s bashful expression from under his lashes.

Justin nodded rather nervously, finding Emmanuel’s innocent gaze to be something hopelessly alluring. That same gaze swiftly transcended into a greedy one, and Justin’s heart picked up pace, recognizing the situation. And sure enough, when Emmanuel moved his hand under the desk, Justin knew exactly what it meant, faking the surprise as the blinds came down, covering the glass barriers. Emmanuel slowly took his hand, not intending for this to be a romantic gesture, but rather displaying his playful intent. He guided Justin’s fingers into the cake, dipping them in the cream, while Justin submissively let him. 

Surprisingly, the two fingers was much an improvement to the appearance of the cake, which certainly wasn’t a compliment to Justin’s decorating skills. Emmanuel brought his fingers to his lips, and Justin held his breath as he felt Emmanuel’s tongue warm against his fingertips. His knees had almost managed to give out, when Emmanuel finally finished licking him clean, and he heaved a dazed sigh. It was the first time he’d felt Emmanuel’s lips, and this realization didn’t escape him, even for a second.

“It tastes sweet,” Emmanuel smirked, knowing fully well that Justin was struggling to keep his composure. “It’s good.”

He dipped his own finger into the cake, running it from Justin’s bottom lip to his chin, leaning in over the desk. He started working his tongue once again, closer to Justin than he’d ever been, however steady and skillful in his movements without exception. Justin on the other hand was merely at his mercy, one temptation flickering in his mind. It wasn’t a kiss, not entirely. But he could make it such, by moving his lips less than an inch to meet Emmanuel’s. He didn’t though, since he hadn’t gotten permission to do so, and if he misbehaved then Emmanuel would most likely stop engaging. So he simply focused on Emmanuel’s scent, calming his body down while simultaneously stirring him up, to the point of delirium. Yet, this too was utterly insufficient. 

Only his mind was allowed to wander, playing out scenarios and exploring possibilities; all the ways he could do Emmanuel. Bending him down over the desk, that was a favorite fantasy of his, and he often caught himself speculating on how many seconds it would take to clear the desk, and how much the mess would irritate Emmanuel. They could continue on the couch, missionary, or Emmanuel could ride him. The chair would work just fine for that as well. Any surface, any position - if Emmanuel would just let him.

But he was stuck standing there completely still, bound by the prospect of what would happen if he dared misbehave. Even though stepping out of line would hardly be conducive to his goal, the current situation was far too unfair for him to follow the rules. Emmanuel pulled away, perhaps sensing that Justin was at his limit, raising an eyebrow daringly. And slowly but surely, Justin dipped his fingers into the cake, scooping up some vanilla cream, then looking at Emmanuel in only a moment of hesitation. The shirt was a light blue, and the stain could most definitely be washed out. Of course, even if this wasn’t the case, Emmanuel wouldn’t stop him as he left the trace of cream across the fabric. He’d purposely, and carefully aimed for Emmanuel’s nipple, and was now leaning in, almost waiting to be pushed away. But Emmanuel was allowing him this, much to his surprise, and against all expectations. Was it a reward?

Maybe the mood was just right, and Justin intended to savor it. He started licking, curling his tongue against the skin just under the fabric, not stopping even as the cream was long gone. Emmanuel already had a grasp of his hair, keeping it there soothingly, but not pulling the way he’d done the first time. Justin decided to bite ever so slightly, hoping to draw out a reaction, and much to his pleasure; Emmanuel moaned. Justin didn’t let it escape him that this was the first time he’d heard Emmanuel moan, and his pants were suddenly unbearably tight. 

Out of the corner of his eye he noticed something unmistakable, and he pulled away to direct his focus elsewhere. More specifically, to the bulge in Emmanuel’s pants. It was incredibly satisfying for him to know that he was able to arouse Emmanuel as well, seeing this as a small victory. He reached out, thinking that it was only fair that he claim his prize, however Emmanuel promptly caught his wrist.

“That’s enough,” He said dismissively, almost too neutral and calm in Justin’s opinion. “Get out.”

Justin’s expression quickly changed to one of confusion, not understanding what he’d done wrong for events to turn so abruptly. Emmanuel merely appeared bored rather than bothered, although the physical sign of arousal was still present and irrefutable. How could he end things when neither of them had gotten off, and they’d barely started? Justin didn’t understand. This seemed like a punishment for the both of them, and one that he still didn’t know the reason for.

“But-” He tried, hoping that Emmanuel might change his mind, or at least explain where Justin had gone wrong.

“Are you deaf?” Emmanuel said casually, pressing the button so that the blinds went back up again, making it clear that they were indeed done. “Get back to work.”

Justin shifted a bit on his feet, unsure of what to do, but eventually obeying the order and leaving the office. The entire thing felt utterly unfair. Why was it only Emmanuel who got to decide how far they’d go, and when they’d do so? Why was his mind the only place Emmanuel would let him have his way? It simply wasn’t fair.

***

“What does PT mean?” Justin asked, rubbing the swollen wound on his lip where he’d chewed in frustration.

Blond Clara paused temporarily in her movements, letting the water run before continuing to wash the dough covered dishes, and dirty plates. They were alone in the break room, cleaning the rest of the mess, while most of the other’s had gone home already. The dishwasher was full, and they were doing the rest by hand.

“Why are you asking?” She sighed dismissively, handing him another plate for him to dry off. “It’s not on the schedule anymore.”

Although that fact of ‘PT’ magically disappearing from the schedule was primarily what had spurred Justin to ask in the first place, he had been curious for quite a while. The two letters didn’t reveal much, and so he was left to wonder what they could potentially mean. The times he had in fact asked around about it, the response was equally dismissive every time, and he concluded that he’d have to ask Clara or Emmanuel directly. He wasn’t about to ask Emmanuel though, not after having been ordered to leave his office whilst in the middle of a lewd act. He’d rather avoid further tension, and he suspected that Emmanuel was equally keen on avoiding such tension himself.

“Is it some secret I’m not supposed to know?” He asked with confusion in his tone, trying to get the point across that he found the situation to be absurd.

The hot water was damping, and Justin wondered how she managed to wash the plates without burning her hands. Even if she was, she didn’t let it affect her in the least.

“It doesn’t concern you,” She shrugged, though becoming increasingly annoyed with Justin’s questioning. “Change the subject please.”

Justin was slightly stunned. No normal person would dictate a conversation like that, not to mention avoid a direct question the way she clearly had. Nevertheless he complied, not lacking an additional subject he was curious about.

“Does… Emmanuel talk about me... ever?” He hesitated, only realizing how awkward the question was after he’d finished asking it.

“Well,” She started, seemingly not entirely comfortable with this question either. “He doesn’t talk much to begin with, unless of course he’s giving instructions or requesting something. So no, he doesn’t talk about you. Honestly I think you should be grateful for that, because if he did indeed mention you then it would be a sign you’re about to get fired.”

Justin didn’t know how to answer. While he didn’t wish to be fired, he was also slightly disappointed that Emmanuel hadn’t mentioned him even once. Although, if he were to do so, what would he say? He probably wouldn’t disclose any of what they’d done together in his office, for obvious reasons.

“Right…”

***

“She knows how to pick them,” Se-Jin nodded to herself, tapping her nails on the side of her glass, barely turning her gaze in Emmanuel’s direction. “Are you satisfied?”

She gave her cigarette a few puffs, leaning further back in a comfortable position on the couch. Emmanuel merely raised an eyebrow at her question, perhaps because he was unable to answer in his usual decisive manner. 

“Or maybe you’re in over your head?” She grinned, knowing this to be a teasing remark, though one Emmanuel would find amusing had she not been correct. “So that’s how it is. I see.”

He wasn’t pleased with having to explain away his initial lack of response, but he knew better than to try and gaslight her. He sighed, mostly in the hope that she’d drop the subject out of pity, but even this just made her increasingly persistent.

“I’m not satisfied,” He answered, running his finger atop the edge of his glass, then downing the rest of the contents. “Quite the opposite actually.”

“From what I can tell Justin is extremely submissive, so I don’t understand what the problem is,” She shrugged. 

“That’s not it,” Emmanuel mused, not sure how to accurately describe the situation to her. “He has an affinity for misbehaving, but it’s not that simple. If I don’t temper him correctly, he might just end up subduing me.”

Se-Jin simply looked at him for a few seconds before she broke into laughter, much to Emmanuel’s displeasure. After another drag at her cigarette, resolutely quelling the wide grin on her lips, she cleared her throat.

“Aw, someone’s afraid to catch feelings?” She pouted in mock pity, eventually resuming her neutral expression as Emmanuel crossed his arms, frowning.

“I’m not in the mood to be patronized today,” He answered, looking justifiably dissatisfied. “And catching feelings is your thing, not mine.”

She threw up her hands, pretending to be offended, however she quickly remembered the main theme of their discussion, eager to get back to the point.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I’m not talking about this with you,” Emmanuel sighed, evading her efforts.

There were limits to what he’d allow her to know, especially when it involved his relationships. Not that he and Justin had much of one to begin with. While he was usually upfront with her - in this regard as well - he’d rather just leave it there.

“Clara told me you erased playtime from your schedule,” She mentioned, striking another nerve Emmanuel had hoped she’d stay clear of. “You miscalculated I presume.”

Emmanuel scoffed, more condescendingly than he’d had to, however seeing it perfectly fitting in response to her insulting assumption. He wasn’t the type to miscalculate, and this was no exception. She wasn’t exactly far off though.

“It wouldn’t last either way, and stop calling it that,” He scolded, somewhat annoyed that he couldn’t deliver a more clever retort. “It’s bad enough you felt the need to mark the acronym down in my schedule to begin with. It doesn’t involve you. None of this does, so just stay out of it.”

She put out her cigarette, standing up from where she was seated and slowly approached the desk Emmanuel was sitting on. Her smile was polite, but fake to say the least. Obviously she wasn’t tolerating his arrogance, which she seldom did.

“Look,” She started, holding his jaw in her grip, and speaking in a tone one would usually reserve for a child. “Your fucked up sexually predatory behavior is what’s going to run this company into the ground if you make even a single mistake. I put up with it because we’re family, and because I know you need this. But disrespect me like this again, and I’m gonna fuck your new plaything myself.”

Emmanuel didn’t flinch, although he certainly didn’t appreciate the insult, feeling an urge to scoff once again but deciding against it for obvious reasons. Rather, he stayed still, and quiet, simply waiting for a proposition.

“Would be a shame to waste a good meal,” She smiled, finally letting go of his jaw. “Tell me if you… or rather, when you decide to fire him. I’d like to have a taste first,” She said, licking her lips. “Understood?”

Emmanuel nodded, tilting his head slightly. 

“Unfortunately I’m going to have to disappoint you,” He smiled, equally contrived. “Private property.” 

***

“Get binoculars why don’t you,” Blond Clara sighed, snapping Justin out of his intense stare. “How have you not been fired yet?”

Justin gave her an apologetic look, running a hand through his hair as a feeling of embarrassment spread inside him. While her demeanor was generally scrutinizing, it only seemed increasingly so as she glared at him. He knew he definitely shouldn’t be staring like that when the investors showed up, and even taking the liberty to do so when Emmanuel was alone, was somewhat risky at best. Being familiar with Emmanuel’s observation skills however, Justin was well aware that him staring was no secret. 

“Just…” She sighed, seemingly not wanting to waste additional time on the issue. “Don’t let it get in the way of your work… or his.”

“About that-” He quickly mentioned, before she had a chance to turn on her heel. “PT?”

He was aware that it was a longshot and that she’d be reluctant to answer, and sure enough, she simply walked away. Justin sighed, about to chase after her - mostly to complain about her rude departure - when Emmanuel stopped at his desk. 

“The outline for the meeting?” He requested, appearing to be in a hurry, and Justin promptly handed him a folder. 

He was quickly gone again, and Justin saw it forgivable that he leave his desk momentarily. Clara was out of sight however, and after searching the break room along with the rest of the top floor, he gave up tracking her down. He supposed the question would remain unanswered this time as well.

“Looking for something?” Brunette Clara asked, placing an empty mug next to the sink. 

Justin looked slightly disappointed when discovering that he’d encountered the wrong Clara, until realizing that perhaps she’d be more susceptible to his questioning. He plastered on an amiable smile, intending to put his general likability to good use. 

“Just the person I was hoping to run into,” He said with that same wide smile, to which she merely raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Would you happen to know what ‘PT’ in Emmanuel’s schedule means?”

“No clue,” She shrugged, and Justin was instantly suspicious that she felt no need to give it any thought. “I wouldn’t worry about it though.”

It wasn’t the first time he’d been told to simply disregard it, but that only confirmed his initial curiosity. He’d have to ask Emmanuel directly, and that coincided perfectly with needing to return to his desk before being required there.

“Thanks anyway,” He nodded, then hurrying back to Emmanuel’s office.

The meeting with the investors had slipped his mind, and he sat down at his desk while carefully observing the tense atmosphere taking place behind the glass barriers. It wasn’t supposed to be tense, he recognized that, and so he wondered how that tension had arisen. Emmanuel looked up at him from the folder he’d previously been handed, and excused himself from the meeting. 

“What the hell is this?” He asked calmly, though the velocity at which the folder hit the surface of the desk, indicated that he was anything but.

“The outline,” Justin answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, though presumably he considered it to be just that. “You were the one who asked for it, remember?”

His attitude was more testy than what was appropriate, especially when addressing his superior, and when Emmanuel crossed his arms in a less than agreeable manner, Justin was starting to think that maybe his attitude was severely misplaced. He opened the folder, jaw nearly dropping to the floor as he realized that he’d given Emmanuel the wrong folder. Indeed he’d made a serious mistake, that he’d undoubtedly have to pay for in some way or other. 

“You knew the Investors were coming today,” Emmanuel said, still relatively calm despite everything. “And yet you didn’t think to check the folder before handing it to me?”

Justin frantically searched the desk for the original folder that he was supposed to have ready, finally handing it over to Emmanuel with an apologetic look. He was fighting the urge to slam his head against the desk, at least holding off until Emmanuel was gone, but a few seconds went by where Emmanuel simply stared at him as if deciding what to do with him.

“You know I was counting on you to at least do the bare minimum,” He said, expression as neutral as ever, even when staring Justin down with a potent gaze. “But instead you embarrassed me in front of my guests, like some low rank employee.”

He flashed Justin one last scornful look, before turning his back to return to the meeting, but didn’t get further than to the door.

“If it was so easy why didn’t you just check it yourself?” Justin asked, immediately regretting having spoken up, even if Emmanuel was the one who’d provoked the snarky retort. “I’m-”

Emmanuel cut him off, snapping his fingers to catch the attention of a woman in a yellow dress, beckoning her over. She didn’t appear even the slightest bit startled, even though Emmanuel was emitting the type of energy that would usually be threatening to any regular person. She walked over, waiting for him to give her instructions, and for a moment Justin wondered if it would entail escorting him from the building. Although he doubted that Emmanuel would take it that far, he was getting increasingly nervous. 

“Get him two bottles of water and make sure he drinks all of it,” Emmanuel said, and the woman nodded before hurrying off, leaving Justin to speculate as to what the purpose of this request was. “Stay at your desk until I return. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend to.”

Justin didn’t feel the need to answer, keeping in mind that Emmanuel didn’t seem pleased the last time he’d done so. Instead, he merely lowered his gaze, flinching slightly as the door shut. Within a minute the woman in the yellow dress had returned with two bottles of water, placing them in front of him.

“You don’t have to-”

“Drink,” She ordered, apparently just as determined to fulfill Emmanuel’s request, as Justin was to avoid it. “Don’t make this hard for the both of us. I have work to do.”

She had a point. Emmanuel’s general dissatisfaction had nothing to do with her, since she clearly performed her job at the highest capacity, while Justin did not. Nevertheless, he wasn’t pleased with the strange task, even though he ended up doing as he was told. The first bottle was easy enough, however the second one went down with more effort and discomfort. He figured that was the point, but at least he’d gotten through Emmanuel’s punishment fairly easily. The woman in the yellow dress held up the empty bottles, and Emmanuel gave her a quick nod from behind the glass, before preoccupying himself with his guests again. 

Once Justin was alone, he turned his attention to his computer, searching up Emmanuel’s name. The first results were videos of his speech at the climate convention, and articles concerning it. Justin - considering he’d already read it - went to ‘Images’ instead, figuring that option would be more entertaining. There were several results where Emmanuel was at some podium, in the middle of giving a speech Justin probably hadn’t heard before, and he marked down some of them in his notepad. 

While Emmanuel was mostly wearing suits and his appearance remained consistent throughout the years, Justin recognized some of the female assistants in the background, but he male ones never appeared more than once, though they had some features in common. Attractive, young and with a build that was bigger than Emmanuel’s. Much like Justin himself. He caught blond Clara in several pictures, wearing signature red, just the way he remembered her, and she made countless appearances in pictures years old. 

He almost didn’t realize that Se-Jin was there too. That in itself wasn’t surprising, taking into account that she was related to Emmanuel. Her hair in earlier photos was different however, yet still covering one side of her face, the same side her current platinum hair was covering. Her previous long black hair had a feminine effect on her complexion, and made her seem more vulnerable. Of course, that last factor could also be attributed to her timid posture, that Justin was certain he didn’t recognize from any of the more recent pictures. The cause of this change was one he couldn’t explain though, and perhaps he didn’t need to either. 

He went back to the general results, using the ‘tools’ option to limit the articles that popped up, and one description in particular caught his attention. 

_ “...lawsuit following allegations of sexual misconduct.” _

He clicked on the article, cautiously scanning his surroundings as if scared of being caught, then continuing to read.

_ “Mr. Austin Fowler, a former employee recently filed the lawsuit after having been fired from his position as personal assistant to the founder of a multi billion dollar nuclear energy company; Emmanuel Macron. Fowler claims that he was fired in direct response to having broken off a non-consensual relationship with Mr. Macron, that he’d been coerced into entering. All allegations have been disputed by the public relations department of the company, and by Mr. Macron himself”… _

Reading further, Justin discovered that the lawsuit was eventually dropped, and similar articles had subsequently been retracted. From the available information he’d come across, the claims were somewhat hard to believe, but nonetheless he recognized some of the behavior Emmanuel had allegedly engaged in, which - while not illegal - could certainly damage the company. True or not, he felt that it would be inappropriate to bring it up, despite his curiosity, and that he hoped to hear Emmanuel’s side of the story. Productive conversations usually don’t start with “hey did you really coerce that person into having a sexual relationship with you?” but he’d make an attempt at working it into their next discussion regardless. 

He was about to stand up, feeling the expected effects of having drunk two bottles of water, but instantly remembered having been told not to leave his desk. He wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom without leaving his desk though. And that’s when he realized; he hadn’t made it through Emmanuel’s punishment ‘easily’ and in fact, he hadn’t made it through the punishment at all. He sincerely hoped to be wrong about Emmanuel’s intentions, but for now he could only sit still and be patient.

10 minutes went by and the meeting seemed to be over. Blond Clara finally reappeared, showing the guests out, though without giving Justin a chance to question her. He would’ve followed her out, but he couldn’t leave the desk, and before he was able to consider his options any further, Emmanuel was standing at his desk.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” He said, standing up as if expecting to be allowed to leave, however sitting back down as he realized Emmanuel wasn’t about to let him. “I’ve learned my lesson, you can let me go now.”

“Or?” Emmanuel asked, looking increasingly amused, and more so when it became apparent that Justin wasn’t able to respond properly - merely stuttering in confusion. “I really don’t care whether you’ve learned your lesson or not. We’re not done here.”

Justin didn’t know what to say, perceiving the entire situation as something deeply absurd. He almost wanted to laugh, as if it was some kind of peculiar joke, matching a twisted humor he didn’t realize Emmanuel had. It was fairly obvious though, this wasn’t anything akin to a joke.

“Then when will I be able to…?” He asked, with a lowered voice.

“Whenever you want,” Emmanuel said, tilting his head in an ill-fitting gesture, then interrupting Justin right before he managed to stand up in the belief that Emmanuel was giving him permission to leave. “At your desk.”

Justin failed to prevent condescending laughter that had been forming for a while by then, looking up at Emmanuel with a clearly fed-up expression. He wasn’t in the mood for whatever Emmanuel was playing at, but neither of them seemed to be budging.

“You’re a sick fuck,” He chuckled with a fake smile, oddly intrigued even if he’d never admit it. “But I guess you know that.”

“Congratulations,” Emmanuel answered, reciprocating the disingenuous smile. “You just earned yourself another bottle of water.”

***

Justin tapped his shoe on the floor, counting seconds and minutes. He probably could have avoided the entire thing if he’d refrained from making that snide remark about Emmanuel being able to check the folder himself. After all, having been provoked was no excuse for disrespecting his superior, and it had been his job to provide Emmanuel with the correct folder - which he had not. There was no use cursing himself for it now though, since Emmanuel had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t care whether Justin had learned his lesson or not. 

“Look what I got you,” Emmanuel said, approaching the desk where Justin was unhappily squirming, with a displeased frown on his face.

“A urinary tract infection?” He joked, then sighed in defeat as he wondered if he’d just made another remark requiring additional punishment. “Okay, fine, I’m sorry.”

Emmanuel simply handed him the bottle, crossing his arms as he waited for Justin to drink it. At that point they were both aware of what would eventually happen, but it appeared only Emmanuel knew if it would actually go that far. For now he was entertained enough with merely watching Justin becoming more desperate and anxious. He nodded at the bottle, when Justin failed to drink it immediately, expression becoming more intimidating until Justin relented and drank the water.

“I will leave this desk with or without your permission,” He said, finding Emmanuel’s self assured smirk to be extremely irritating. “I know you think I’ll do whatever you say, but this is taking it too far.”

“Leave the desk and you’re fired,” Emmanuel answered, features blank and tone so as well. “How about that.”

Justin could tell that Emmanuel was willing to go through with the threat if he so pleased, regardless of what Justin’s retaliation would be. He was about to object, however Emmanuel wasn’t done.

“After you screwed up a simple task, humiliating me in front of the investors, then purposely disrespected me, I have every right to fire you, and there’s a rational case that I absolutely should.” He explained, managing to silence Justin completely. “So leave your fucking desk and you’re fired.”

This time Justin didn’t have an insult, joke or sarcastic remark to respond with. He couldn’t argue that Emmanuel had a point, and there was nothing to gain by continuing to resist. If he wanted to achieve even the slightest bit of leniency, he’d have to accept subdual, and appeal to Emmanuel’s need for control. 

“Then what should I do?” He asked, barely avoiding a tremor in his voice. “Am I supposed to beg, or cry, in order to make it up to you? I don’t get what you’re trying to obtain.”

“That’s a great question,” Emmanuel smiled, with a taunting expression on his face, indicating that he was pleased with Justin’s newfound subservience. “Give me some time to consider my options.” 

Justin let out a slight whimper as he realized what Emmanuel was doing; drawing it out until he really would be relegated to begging. He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to wait, but he didn’t exactly have a choice. He could only count, tap his shoe, and pray that Emmanuel might show him some benevolence. He slumped down, resting his forehead on the surface of the desk, preoccupying himself with counting once again. Emmanuel returned to his office, leaving Justin to sulk, and in all likelihood enjoying every second he’d keep him waiting.

***

Emmanuel ran his fingers through Justin’s hair, carefully stroking the dark curls, and cupping his cheek when he raised his head to face Emmanuel. It was somewhat bittersweet.

“Please,” Justin sighed, legs crossed rather awkwardly, and eyes slightly glossy. “You made your point already.”

Emmanuel nodded to himself, as if coming to a conclusion within himself, and Justin was hoping this meant that he’d finally be able to leave the desk Emmanuel had grounded him at. He was starting to consider whether being fired was truly a worse outcome than this, because as the minutes went by, that option was becoming increasingly appealing.

“What will happen if I leave you here for another 20 minutes?” Emmanuel asked, appearing to be weighing the possibility of doing just that. 

Justin recognized that Emmanuel knew perfectly well what would happen, and the question was therefore redundant. So why did he need to ask? Justin wasn’t keen on saying it out loud, but obviously Emmanuel was expecting a response.

“I…” He tried, words getting jammed before he had a chance to finish his sentence, not that he had any desire to do so in the first place.

“Stand up,” Emmanuel ordered, and Justin obeyed with a tinge of difficulty, nevertheless succeeding. “Try again, and this time louder.”

Justin fidgeted a bit at first, more nervous as Emmanuel leaned in over the desk in a gesture he considered painfully intimidating, though in an intriguing manner. No normal person would enjoy doing what Emmanuel was doing, and yet, Emmanuel certainly appeared to be utterly amused - and at Justin’s expense, at that.

“I’m going to wet myself,” He whispered, feeling his cheeks flaring up from having to vocalize a thought that no grown man was supposed to have. “Satisfied?”

The sinister smile on Emmanuel’s lips indicated that he was, at least to some extent, however Justin could tell that it wasn’t enough, and he feared that Emmanuel wouldn’t be pleased until he was actually drenched.

“I couldn’t quite hear you,” He answered, giving Justin another taunting glance. “Repeat it. This time louder.”

Justin was sure that Emmanuel had undoubtedly heard it the first time, and that this wasn’t the point of him repeating it. He intended for Justin to feel humiliated, doing so by manipulating his bodily functions, and making him announce his own helplessness in the most pitiable way possible.

“I’m going to wet myself,” Justin repeated, this time hissing it, despite knowing that this wouldn’t be enough either.

“Again,” Emmanuel ordered, incredibly entertained as Justin started to resemble a cherry, eyes pleading but teeth gritted in frustration. “Louder.”

“I’m going to wet myself!” Justin said, loud enough to make him tremble just at the thought that someone other than Emmanuel might have heard him. 

Even if he had the slightest desire to repeat the phrase, just one more time, just a little louder; he couldn’t. Emmanuel looked as if he was about to reprimand him once again, eyes greedily observing the wreckage he’d turned Justin into, when blond Clara cleared her throat. They both turned their attention towards her simultaneously, Emmanuel with immense irritation that she’d interrupted his fun. She crossed her arms, such that Justin momentarily thought she was merely imitating Emmanuel, but clearly she had an agenda of her own. She certainly wasn’t pleased, that was for sure.

“Go,” Emmanuel said, nodding for Justin to give them privacy, and presumably giving him permission to take care of his problem.

Justin let out a sigh of relief, thankful that Clara had showed up. He hurried past her, this time being the first in a while where he had no intention of questioning her. When he was out of sight, Emmanuel gestured for her to enter his office, assuming they’d be needing the sound-reducing barriers.

“Are you trying to make him quit?” She hissed, once they were inside. “Because that’s exactly what he’ll do after the stunt you just pulled.”

Emmanuel didn’t bother reacting, maintaining his usual neutral expression, which in her opinion was vastly inappropriate considering the circumstances. Finally he shrugged, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say. They were both aware he’d done worse in the past, and that this wasn’t too far from the ordinary, however something was clearly different.

“If he can’t handle a little provocation then maybe, yeah, he should quit,” Emmanuel answered, hoping to end the conversation there.

“You didn’t plan this,” She said, furthering Emmanuel’s annoyance with her ensuing persistence. “If you had, then you would have told me to prepare to hire someone else for the position. But you didn’t, because you were the one who was provoked.”

Emmanuel flashed her a hostile glance, and that’s how she knew she’d been correct. That wasn’t something to celebrate though, seeing as it meant they now faced a new set of problems. Namely, that Justin might quit, and that Emmanuel had lost control of his own temperament. Neither were easy to repair, and she was less than thrilled with being in charge of just that. 

“I’m telling Se-Jin,” She sighed, knowing that tattling was beneath her, but nevertheless feeling the need to resort to that action. “You need to get your shit together.”

The issue was out of her control, or at least she suspected it to be. Se-Jin was a credible threat, and perhaps one that would result in Emmanuel getting back on track on his own accord. Threatening her superior was something she could get away with doing, since they both knew she was irreplaceable, not to mention his greatest asset. 

“I’ll manage,” He frowned, waving his hand dismissively. “Just don’t involve Se-Jin.”

His expression was partially apologetic, which added to her reluctance to tattle on him. She nodded in agreement, deciding that she would have to keep it between them if she hoped to create an incentive for him to modify his behavior. For now her main objective was preventing Justin from quitting, whether or not his presence was contributing to Emmanuel’s recent delinquency. 

“You’re very fortunate his employment contract contains a non disclosure agreement,” She said, with a hint of annoyance in her voice. “Because otherwise I think you’d be in deep trouble. Or shall we say ‘deeper’ trouble.”

***

“You can take the rest of the day off if you need to,” Clara mentioned, careful in her approach, willing to keep her usual coldness at bay. “I can take care of your tasks instead.”

Justin raised an eyebrow in confusion, apparently less distraught than she’d expected him to be. Perhaps Justin really was perfect for the job, even in aspects unrelated to just his physical traits. But of course, she knew how to pick them.

“I’m alright,” He answered, though the blush on his features had failed to subside fully just yet. “I do have a question though,” He continued, shattering her initial relief. “Austin Fowler?”

Her sympathetic attitude quickly twisted into one of aversion, which was understandable considering the subject matter. She gave the question some thought, before answering, recognizing that she’d have to proceed with relative caution. 

“That’s a very long time ago,” She frowned, seemingly eager to diminish the importance of the story. “Whatever you’ve read isn’t true, that I can tell you.”

The fact that she was being defensive about his question, didn’t exactly ease his suspicion that something unethical had taken place. He wanted to believe that Emmanuel wasn’t the type of person the article - let alone the lawsuit - had portrayed him as. He was starting to question if he was merely being naive however.

“Then what is the truth?” He asked, sensing that this could hardly be too much to ask for. 

She sighed, and for a moment he wondered if he’d been wrong to assume he was owed an explanation, but then she sat down, as if getting ready to tell an hour-long story, although he realized that she wasn’t willing to invest that kind of time for his sake. He couldn’t exactly blame her for that, since it would deviate immensely from her character.

“Well,” She began, putting her thoughts in order before continuing. “Austin worked here for a few weeks, and I’d say he was fairly mediocre at his job, but be that as it may. He and Emmanuel had a relationship resembling the one you have with him now, and I don’t care what you’ve read, the relationship was consensual.” She paused temporarily, realizing that she was close to losing her temper, and steadying herself. “He eventually started getting frustrated when Emmanuel refused to advance their relationship, and he was fired shortly after that.”

Her version was a lot more benign than what had been described in the article, and Justin was unsure of whether to trust that she was telling the truth. A fair amount was still missing, and he had several questions that needed answering. He could only hope that he wasn’t being fed a lie.

“What about the lawsuit?” He asked, meeting her eyes for a brief second before she looked away, which didn’t exactly add to her credibility.

Her nervousness could be due to the fact that she was speaking of Emmanuel’s personal affairs, without having asked for permission to do so. Or maybe she was making it all up to cover for him. 

“He filed the lawsuit as some sort of messed up revenge, probably because Emmanuel cut him loose, just like that.” She shrugged, sparing no sympathy for the person she was speaking of. “We countered the lawsuit with one of our own. A security camera caught him physically mistreating one of our female employees, and both lawsuits were dropped as a result. I’d hoped that the whole thing would have been buried by now, but I guess that’s not the case since you managed to come across it.”

Her story aligned with the eventual outcome mentioned in the article, and Justin supposed he should be relieved that she appeared to be telling the truth. Questioning it any further probably wouldn’t do him much good, and Emmanuel didn’t seem like the coercing type. Something else came to mind though. 

“So this is what he does?” Justin asked, catching her off guard. “He plays a bit with his assistants, cuts them loose when they expect something more from the relationship, then hopes they don’t snitch on him to the press?”

The question was mostly fueled by a worry that this would be the case for him as well. Emmanuel was playing with him, but their relationship would never progress beyond that, even if Justin had thought - or at least hoped - it would.

“Most of the assistants leave the company on good terms with Emmanuel,” She corrected, completely sure of herself, and her words. “They discover that the job isn’t in their interest, and they leave. After that, the hiring process starts over again without any hard feelings. Austin was just an unfortunate exception.”

That didn’t do much to reassure Justin however. The pattern she was describing would apply to him too, and so, he’d either quit when he got tired of being a mere toy, or Emmanuel would have to fire him. Neither outcome was what he’d imagined when applying for the job, even though he’d been told by Emmanuel himself that he wouldn’t last long, and that claim had later been reaffirmed by brunette Clara when they’d first met. 

“I’ll be another exception,” He answered resolutely, much to her surprise. “I’ll make myself indispensable.”

She knew better than anyone that what Justin was saying could only be described as nonsense. Even though she could warn him that his attempts were idle, she wondered if he really could manage to avoid the inevitable. She was curious to see what the results were, if his efforts came to fruition.

“Good luck.”

***

“Your face is too pretty for you to be sulking like this,” Se-Jin chuckled, approaching Justin who was indeed sulking into his coffee. “Sharing is caring. Tell me all about your sorrows.”

Although her attitude was fairly teasing, Justin could tell that she was serious. He hesitated momentarily, but decided that perhaps he’d benefit from receiving some advice, even if he’d have to be vague about what troubled him.

“There’s a person,” He started, testing the waters and deeming it safe. “I want to get closer to them, but I’m not sure how. I don’t think they want to have a close relationship.”

Se-Jin licked her lips in amusement at Justin’s belief that she’d be clueless as to whom the person in question was. While she acknowledged that it was reasonable for him to expect that Emmanuel wouldn’t have told her about their relationship - since most people tend to not discuss sex with their relatives - Justin had been sorely mistaken. Now it was her turn to have some fun, and he’d unintentionally provided her with the perfect template for that. 

“Why do you think that’s the case?” She asked, playing a role in order to obtain more information. “Maybe they’re just shy?”

Justin scoffed, linking the word ‘shy’ to Emmanuel in his mind, and finding it to be deeply unnatural. Laughable even. But now he was certain that Se-Jin was unaware of whom he spoke, even if his certainty was misplaced. 

“This person isn’t like that,” He explained, unsure of how exactly to describe Emmanuel. “I assume they want to keep me at an arm’s length, but that’s not good enough for me. So what do I do? How do I get close to them?”

Se-Jin nodded sympathetically, contemplating her options, and trying to decide which advice would piss Emmanuel off the most if she were to give it. She knew Emmanuel well enough to know what he desired from Justin, and what he could under no circumstances tolerate. Her intention was to cause a mere stir, and maybe experiment with his boundaries. Justin happened to be the ideal tool in doing that.

“I think you need to subvert their expectations,” She said, expecting Justin to blindly follow her advice. “Take control,” She elaborated. “Be aggressive.”

Justin was about to object to her reasoning, but evaluated her words carefully, and suddenly her advice made perfect sense to him. Emmanuel had been doing the same thing over and over for years, and Justin considered it to be an idle cycle. If he wanted to break the pattern, he’d have to step out of line, and be everything Emmanuel had explicitly denounced. If he wanted to be the exception, his behavior would have to resemble such a deviance. If he allowed himself to follow her advice, every rule he’d begrudgingly obeyed would be broken, and he’d be able to act out his own preferences. Whether it be on the desk, against it, under it - the couch, the floor or both. Apron or no apron. However, whenever, wherever he wanted. Reaching Emmanuel emotionally, he’d have to reach him physically first. Right?

“You’re quite the genius,” He smiled, and Se-Jin responded with a satisfied smirk of her own. “I probably should’ve asked you for advice sooner.”

She knew that she was jeopardizing his relationship with Emmanuel, and potentially his job as well. But she thought it to be a reasonable risk - or chance - if Justin managed to pull it off. She didn’t have much faith in his abilities, but it was tempting to believe he might actually succeed. In any case, she’d at least be entertained. 

“Let me know how it goes,” She added, knowing that it was 50/50 who’d come to her first. “I’m sure you’ll do great.”

***

Justin looked at the corner of the computer screen, checking the time. He was supposed to have gone home by then, however, Emmanuel for one hadn’t commented on him staying late. Most of the other employees had left already, meaning that he was alone with Emmanuel who was still working at his desk in silence. Justin hadn’t exactly bothered to consider what terms they were on, in spite of what had happened earlier that day. At that specific hour he was only focused on one thing - Se-Jin’s advice, and the plan he’d developed on the basis of it. His heart was beating unusually fast, which wasn’t a promising sign, since he was still sitting calmly at his desk.

“Don’t get cold feet....” He whispered under his breath, although it was easier said than done. “Remember the plan.”

It was simple in theory, but it all depended on Emmanuel, and how he’d react in response to Justin’s advances. He had to be confident if he wanted to assert himself, and succeed in taking the reins, but it was substantially easier to just admit to himself that he was utterly terrified of Emmanuel, and that he had no confidence. He had lust though, and that would have to do.


	3. Restraint

Justin cast one last glance at the skyline, feeling the vivid colors spurring him on, despite his legs threatening to give out if he ever managed to stand up. He was procrastinating, and additionally to such an extent that his courage was fleeting, and he was unconsciously backing out of his own plan. He sensed an urge, yet after a few seconds of said urge building up it magically vanished when his eyes fell upon Emmanuel, transforming into hesitation. He usually only acted on Emmanuel’s cue, so straying from that archetypal path would be highly anxiety provoking. And sure enough, he could feel his hands trembling slightly with every imagination of a touch that was without Emmanuel’s given permission. nevertheless, he was partially familiar with his own boundaries, and he was excited to explore Emmanuel’s as well, even if it was new territory.  
And on that note; he’d unconsciously stood up, suddenly painfully aware that Emmanuel would notice every little movement, even if he didn’t particularly react. Certainly, a movement of that magnitude would elicit a reaction equal to that, however Emmanuel simply continued writing something down, undoubtedly related to his work. It gave Justin the impression that Emmanuel either didn’t care much for what he was up to, or he merely didn’t count on Justin to actually follow through on his intent.  
Sitting back down would be a regression, and Justin had only just made the first progress that night. He was overly self conscious and even minor details such as the pace of his steps was something he couldn’t help but obsess over. It even required a substantial amount of his concentration to walk towards the door casually, although he had something far more important to pay attention to. Focusing on the smaller things made what he was about to do more comprehensible, and so when he reached the door, he didn’t pay much mind to what was behind it. Simply grabbing the handle was enough to send a chill down his spine, and in a twisted way… further down. His breath caught when Emmanuel finally reacted, raising his head with a questioning expression on his face.  
“I didn’t say you could come in,” He stated, somewhat bothered by the interruption of his work, and even more so when Justin didn’t seem to care about his reprimand, continuing to approach him. “What are you-”  
He stood up from his desk, before his sentence was cut off and Justin was right in front of him. He barely had a chance to register the situation when Justin swept him up, placing him on top of the desk, to the quiet sound of a gasp and elevated pulse their movements resulted in. To his surprise, the obvious frown on his features didn’t serve to discourage Justin even a little, which indicated that he was no longer satisfied with obeying Emmanuel’s subtle demands.  
“I didn’t say you could touch me,” Emmanuel added, pointing out another rule Justin had disregarded, purposefully at that. “I know you’re not dumb enough to forget me saying not to touch me as you please. Care to tell me what this is about?”  
Justin leaned his whole body in between Emmanuel’s legs, subsequently parting them. He made sure to carry the most confident smile he could muster, as he met Emmanuel’s rather dismayed glance. Without hesitation, he brushed his lips against Emmanuel’s ear when he spoke the words that had been on his mind for longer than he could remember.  
“I want to do you,” He whispered, taking note of the fact that Emmanuel wasn’t pushing him away, nor pulling back from him.  
He took the lack of resistance as a sign that Emmanuel wasn’t opposed to him taking the lead, which was unusual to say the least. Not that he was complaining - quite the contrary actually. He moved further down with his lips, kissing Emmanuel’s neck, and even getting aggressive, biting the way he’d done when he’d licked Emmanuel’s shirt clean.  
“And how, pray tell, are you planning to ‘do’ me?” Emmanuel asked, seemingly skeptical of Justin’s ability to actually do as his message was relaying. “Go on.”  
The prospect of sharing the intricate parts of his fantasies was something that - despite the best of his efforts - made Justin’s cheeks flare up. While he was doing his best to act nonchalant and presenting himself as determined, Emmanuel had a peculiar way of making him bashful and shy.  
“I want you undressed,” Justin started, speaking in between kisses and teasing Emmanuel with his tongue. “I want you bent over this tidy desk of yours,” He continued, hands slowly making their way up Emmanuel’s thighs, as he ground his hips against Emmanuel’s. “I want to fuck you…” His voice curled, feeling Emmanuel’s waistline under his fingertips. “Hard.”  
He heard the sound of his belt being unbuckled, gaze dropping to where his pants were being unzipped. Although he desperately wanted to take control, Emmanuel undressing him was undoubtedly something he could tolerate, and enjoy in his usual submissive manner. He locked eyes with Emmanuel, losing all inhibitions at once, and before he had a chance to fully comprehend the situation; his hands were bound tightly with his own belt.  
“That’s quite a bold claim for someone as vulnerable as you,” Emmanuel smirked greedily, looking on with an amused expression as Justin wriggled his wrists in confusion. “Shall we get started?”  
Justin didn’t have time, nor the immediate mental faculty to respond, before Emmanuel was behind him and had flicked his tied hands upwards, forcing him down over the desk with such incredible ease, it was almost embarrassing. Perhaps he should have realized sooner that trying to take control from a control freak was an immensely foolish idea, and one that he certainly should have stayed clear of. It was too late now however. He could only pray that Emmanuel would have pity on him for not knowing better.  
“Did you get excited telling me about how you want to fuck me?” Emmanuel asked, laying a hand on Justin’s erection outside of his underwear. “You even have the nerve to make yourself wet without my permission.”  
Justin wasn’t sure if he was supposed to apologize or stay quiet. With Emmanuel’s hand in such a sensitive spot, both would be extremely difficult. Indeed he couldn’t help but moan as he further disobeyed Emmanuel by releasing more precum. He could tell that it was enough to make Emmanuel’s hand sticky as well, and he instantly thrust his hips back to avoid contact even as the urge to do the exact opposite was steadily building. Emmanuel didn’t appear pleased with this either though.  
“How was it you wanted to do me on my fucking desk Justin?” He growled, tightening his grip of Justin’s erection, despite knowing that this could potentially provoke a premature ejaculation. “Like this?”  
Although there was fabric between them, Justin could clearly feel Emmanuel simulating penetration by rubbing his front against Justin’s backside, the exact way Justin had imagined himself doing to Emmanuel had the roles been reversed. It was humiliating to a certain extent, considering that he was supposed to be the top. According to his fantasy Emmanuel should have been the one moaning and hissing while taking it from the back.  
“Please,” Justin whimpered, feeling himself on the verge of orgasm notwithstanding the intense degradation he was experiencing. “I’m about to-”  
Emmanuel promptly loosened his grip, slipping his hand into Justin’s underwear for direct skin to skin. And just as it seemed Emmanuel would let him finish with a final stroke, he instead pressed his thumb against the tip of Justin’s erection, preventing him from coming, while simultaneously moving the rest of his grip, forcing Justin to either have an excruciatingly painful dry orgasm, or to involuntarily edge - something equally painful and frustrating. From the way Justin’s entire body was trembling and he was crying out, Emmanuel wasn’t sure which one he was experiencing. He remained fully hard however, indicating that as soon as Emmanuel removed his thumb he’d have an extremely intense orgasm.  
“Should I let you come?” Emmanuel teased, leaning down to physically dominate Justin further. “Apologize, and I might consider it.”  
Justin wanted to cry that it was painful, but he knew damn well that Emmanuel couldn’t care less about that detail, however much Justin was insisting. He could only obey the order he’d been given if he wished to find relief.  
“I’m sorry!” He whimpered, legs threatening to give out beneath him, and his surroundings becoming hazy. “Please let me come.”  
Emmanuel wasn’t satisfied with this, finding it completely inadequate. For all he knew, Justin was only apologizing out of pure desperation, as close to collapsing as he clearly was. Perhaps he’d need for Justin to pass out before finding sufficient gratification. This didn’t seem unlikely with the manner of which Justin’s knees quivered.  
“For what?” Emmanuel asked, requesting some specificity for the sake of discovering whether Justin truly knew what his own error was. “For what Justin? Tell me and I’ll let you come in my hand.”  
Although the reward of getting to finish in Emmanuel’s hand normally wouldn’t be one of much difference from being relegated to the floor, it was as much intimacy as Justin could hope for, considering the circumstances. He also didn’t have the mental fortitude to take into account whether he’d also be forced to lick the floor clean if it came down to it.  
“I’m sorry…” He repeated, in dire need of release, yet desperately clinging onto what little wit he had left. “For making a mess at your desk.”  
It definitely wasn’t the response Emmanuel had been looking for, nevertheless it made a subtle smile creep onto his lips, protruding from his otherwise exasperated frown. He figured that if nothing else, Justin had at least identified one of his personal grievances, which he could appreciate. He removed his thumb, sliding his finger along the shaft in a swift movement, triggering the ejaculation.  
Justin cried out as he struggled against the belt, hands reaching out for anything to grip but finding nothing but the leather. He relied on the desk to support his weight, as his legs failed to carry him, and his eyes started watering. It went on longer than he’d expected, and longer than he could tolerably handle, which caused him to nearly regret begging Emmanuel to allow him to orgasm.  
When his muscles finally stopped twitching, and his body slowly recovered as he panted for oxygen that he hoped would clear his mind, the cold surface of Emmanuel’s desk felt soothing against his forehead. He could faintly make out Emmanuel reaching for a tissue in his peripheral, wiping his hand clean from the liquid Justin had dirtied it with. After a few seconds the belt was loosened, and removed from his wrists, freeing his hands.  
“You came quite a lot,” Emmanuel said, helping Justin up from his uncomfortable position on the desk. “Don’t ever fucking touch me without my permission again.”  
Justin could feel most of his body aching, sore from how he’d been bent over the desk, and perhaps he would have complained about it if it wasn’t for the fact that he still wished to put Emmanuel in the exact same position. He rubbed the irritated skin on his wrists, steadying his rigid breathing, while Emmanuel observed his sorry state.  
“Hey, look at me,” He whispered, brushing stray strands of hair away from Justin’s eyes, with a considerably concerned expression. “You did well.”  
Sensing that Justin was noticeably distraught, Emmanuel leaned in carefully, kissing his cheek in a gesture that usually would have been completely out of the question. Justin wasn’t sure what had caused Emmanuel to shift tone, but the slight praise and kindness that he was being shown somehow made him calmer, and more content.  
He realized that he was at another standstill, since Se-Jin’s advice had backfired severely. Not only did being aggressive and taking control not work, Emmanuel had also appeared to be more ticked off than what Justin could delineate from his regular state of being. Furthermore, he couldn’t quite figure out if the rough handjob and degrading dirty talk he’d just experienced was worth the affection. He couldn’t deny that even when he was humiliated or in pain, he still managed to get off on it.  
Was it enjoyable for Emmanuel? As many times as they’d engaged in lewd acts, Justin had only seen Emmanuel hard once. He wondered how that one time differed from the rest, and soon he’d drawn some conclusions. Emmanuel wasn’t impotent, far from it, he’d become erect without direct stimulation of his lower half, which although not unusual for Justin, wouldn’t have happened if Emmanuel was struggling with Erectile dysfunction. The fact that his thought process had carried him there, suggested that Justin had been overthinking for a while.  
“Can I touch you?” He asked, recalling how Emmanuel had told him numerous times not to do it without permission, although the times he’d done it - not consequently facing punishment - weren’t the times he’d asked.  
Emmanuel looked slightly taken aback, as if he wasn’t the one who’d instructed Justin to ask first. Responding didn’t take more than a second though, having probably decided long before Justin had had the idea of asking.  
“No.” He answered, and the emphasis on that single word meant that he intended for it to be the end of the discussion. “Get out.”  
Justin was once again conflicted, wanting to curse himself for provoking a negative reaction from Emmanuel, while also not understanding the logic of said reaction. It wasn’t the first time he’d been ordered to leave Emmanuel’s office, however he was determined to at least get an explanation, or succeed in mending the harsh note he’d be leaving on.  
“Why?” He asked, though the question could be extended to every aspect of their relationship he was unsatisfied with. “Why can’t I touch you? Why are you asking me to ‘get out’ when I haven’t done anything wrong? Why don’t you have an erection?”  
Emmanuel had been relatively neutral up until Justin’s last question, which he not only found to be absurd, but also very out of place. Of all the things he’d expect Justin to be upset about, the lack of a boner on his part wasn’t one of them.  
“Why do I need to be erect?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, ignoring the questions before then, for the simple reason that everything in comparison seemed forgettable to say the least.  
Justin wasn’t happy that his other questions had been brushed off, but the fact that Emmanuel appeared to have forgotten all about wanting Justin to leave made up for it to an adequate degree. It could be considered progress that he hadn’t been kicked out yet.  
“Do you not find me attractive?” He asked, realizing that in any other context the question would’ve made him look shallow or highlighted his ego. “Because you don’t get aroused by looking at me, or touching me, or hearing my voice.”  
Hearing himself say it out loud was more upsetting than he’d been prepared for, and his voice nearly broke. He hadn’t wanted to seem emotional or overly invested, but that in itself was difficult because he indeed was emotionally invested to a ridiculous extent.  
“If I didn’t find you attractive, I wouldn’t be doing this with you,” Emmanuel answered, crossing his arms. “Just because I’m not erect doesn’t mean I’m not aroused.” He paused before continuing, as if he wasn’t completely sure whether he wanted to proceed in letting Justin know the rest. “I don’t usually get hard if I’m not physically stimulated. Hence, why you’re not allowed to touch me.”  
Justin couldn’t help but feel relieved, knowing that the problem wasn’t himself, and that there might not even be a problem, except…  
“Then what do you gain from this?” He asked, not understanding why Emmanuel would want to perform acts that were only pleasurable to Justin. “You don’t receive any sexual gratification.”  
“That’s none of your concern,” Emmanuel instantly replied, more dismissive than Justin had expected him to be. “You can withdraw consent at any point if you’re not satisfied with our agreement. But we either do things my way, or not at all.”  
Though it was disappointing, if not absolutely demoralizing, Justin supposed Emmanuel had a certain way of doing things, and he wouldn’t be able to disrupt the cycle, no matter his efforts. He wasn’t willing to give up what little intimacy he had with Emmanuel however, even if it was sparse. Maybe by the way of miraculous thinking, he’d manage to maintain some absurd sense of hope that the cycle would dissolve by itself, without his interference. That somehow he’d be the exception, just by taking a laissez-faire approach, and relying on external forces. 

*** 

“My my,” Clara mumbled, leaning against Justin’s desk as she observed the woman behind the glass barriers in tandem with Justin. “This wasn’t in the schedule. Emmanuel must be absolutely pissed.”  
The woman Justin didn’t recognize and Emmanuel were seated across from each other in his office, having a - what appeared to be civil - conversation, despite Clara’s remark. The woman had long dark hair, which curled slightly and was positioned down her chest instead of her back. Her facial features gave Justin the impression that she was younger than she probably was, although he couldn’t be entirely sure.  
“He doesn’t look pissed,” Justin pointed out, rather idly as only the back of Emmanuel’s head was visible to them. “Who is she?”  
The reactionary frown on Clara’s expression indicated that she wasn’t fond of this woman, and that whoever she was, Clara would likely look forward to her departure. If this was the case then Emmanuel probably shared the disdain, considering that he and Clara were similar in regards to their perception of people. Perhaps that was the reason she was in charge of hiring his assistants.  
“Sanna Marin,” She answered, crossing her arms as she examined the woman. “Founder of a solar energy company that rivals us. I assume she’s here to complain about the recent loss of funding that was redistributed to this company. Stuck up bitch.”  
The last remark caught Justin off guard, and he temporarily tore his gaze away from where it was fixated on the woman, looking instead at Clara with a surprised expression. When she noticed his reaction she merely shrugged, obviously not regretting her choice of words.  
“What does she want Emmanuel to do?” Justin asked, not seeing how her showing up at Emmanuel’s office unannounced would be conducive to gaining back the funds, if that was really the case. “There’s no chance he’ll just agree to redirect the funds, since that’ll be at the expense of his own company. Plus, he earned it right?”  
“Of course,” She answered immediately, annoyed with the doubt in Justin’s voice though unintended on his part. “This company happens to currently be ahead in the field, and funds are better placed here. I guess she disagrees. If you can’t handle the game; get out. It's as simple as that.”  
Justin couldn’t help but get hung up on that line, attributing it to something he was better off disregarding. He was promptly snapped out of it when the scene playing out behind the glass barrier escalated. Sanna picked up her drink and splashed it onto Emmanuel in fury, barely letting the act affect her expression, then storming out of the office. The entire occurrence had played out faster than Justin and Clara could register, leaving them speechless, still in the same position as if nothing had happened. Emmanuel also appeared completely taken aback, inspecting his - now wet - shirt, as the liquid soaked the fabric.  
“I’m gonna go get…” Clara mumbled, apparently and understandably stunned, even more so than Emmanuel. “A clean shirt.”  
Justin figured he was supposed to provide some sort of assistance as well, though hesitant in his approach. He stood up from his desk, grabbing a pack of tissues and entering the office, certain that this time knocking wouldn’t be necessary. Emmanuel didn’t bother acknowledging his presence, evidently distracted by the events that had unfolded just seconds before.  
“Are you…” Justin trailed off as Emmanuel began unbuttoning his shirt, instantly distracted as well. “...Okay?”  
He extended his arm, handing Emmanuel the pack of tissues, while turning his head in order to not stare at the exposed chest. It was a strange reaction, considering that he’d let Emmanuel touch not just his chest but somewhere far more intimate, yet nakedness in regards to Emmanuel was something very foreign to him.  
“I’m fine,” Emmanuel answered, accepting the tissues with a hint of confusion in his features, finding Justin’s avoidant behavior to be somewhat off putting. “You can look. I don’t mind.”  
Justin wasn’t sure how to respond. He most definitely had the urge to take Emmanuel up on the offer, but if he were to do so, he’d potentially need tissues himself. Even the thought made him increasingly flustered, which was yet another reason to turn away.  
“If I did look, I’d want to go further,” Justin explained, slightly embarrassed to admit his lack of self control when around Emmanuel. “And you said I couldn’t,” He continued, trying to will away the blush forming on his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”  
Emmanuel finished unbuttoning his shirt, taking it off completely, before pulling Justin towards him, making him turn around to face him. He smirked teasingly as Justin’s gaze darted from his chest to nearly anywhere else continually, as if his mind was on overdrive. Emmanuel then opened the pack of tissues, handing it back to Justin who’s gaze was still nervously fleeting.  
“Help me out?” He asked innocently, having seemingly no trouble overriding his own rule when it was beneficial, or to his advantage. “Just this once.”  
Justin shyly let his eyes settle on Emmanuel’s bare chest, taking in his shape and every detail he came across. By then he was thoroughly flustered, and silently hoping that he’d find a way to stay flaccid, however unrealistic that was. Chewing his lip, he carefully brushed the tissue across Emmanuel’s skin, even as most of the liquid had already evaporated.  
He wondered if Emmanuel’s intention was to toy with him, or if there was an actual desire for intimacy. He’d be perfectly content with either, though he couldn’t help but favor the latter, for the simple reason it would suggest that their relationship had progressed. Even if he perceived the situation to be deeply sexual, it really couldn’t be objectively described as such. Emmanuel was calm and unaffected, enjoying how Justin was anything but.  
It was pretty much then that Justin realized how Emmanuel had chosen a scenario in which he could remain composed, while also provoking Justin into overwhelming vexation. It was immensely aggravating, and unfair, causing Justin to lose his restraint. He leaned in, but the sound of the door interrupted the movement, and he quickly stepped away from Emmanuel.  
“A clean shirt,” Clara said, placing it on the desk, seemingly aware that she’d entered the office at an unfortunate moment, although had she entered even a second later, the situation would’ve been exceedingly awkward. “Don’t dirty it. I’m not going out of my way to bring you a new one.”  
Emmanuel gave her a brief nod as to thank her while also expressing dissatisfaction with her remark. Justin suddenly became very aware that the blinds were still up, meaning anyone who came by would have been able to see what he’d been about to do. What exactly had he been about to do? That was another thought that had appeared, and this one was far more complex, since even he didn’t know the answer. It was surely a dead end however, considering Emmanuel would have stopped him and potentially punished him before he’d had a chance to enact his intention.  
Clara turned to leave the office, not seeing any reason to stay and further intrude on Emmanuel’s privacy, especially since he was not wearing a shirt. Sure, there was a rational reason for this, but that had no effect on the underlying untimeliness of her presence, which Justin’s flaring blush seemed to suggest.  
“Give me the wet shirt and I’ll take care of it,” She added, remembering it by its absence on Emmanuel’s body.  
Emmanuel was about to grab his shirt, but Justin beat him to it, walking up to Clara in order to hand her the shirt, despite his still saturated cheeks. He was well aware that Emmanuel was fully capable of doing this himself, still Justin would rather not have him any closer to Clara while partially undressed. He wasn’t sure of whom he was distrustful, or whether distrustful was the right word for the feeling he was experiencing. It was silly, but he couldn’t help it. Even the fact that the sight of Emmanuel’s body wasn’t limited to him alone, made him uneasy to say the least.  
He grabbed the clean shirt from the desk, bringing it to Emmanuel for good measure, and suddenly eager to get him clothed. There wasn’t much purpose in Emmanuel staying shirtless, considering that they likely wouldn’t resume their previous endeavor once Clara had left, however much Justin might’ve liked for them to do so. And sure enough, Emmanuel was quickly dressed and preoccupied with something else, while Clara soon was nowhere in sight. Justin figured that Emmanuel’s lack of interest in further engagement was a cue for him to leave as well, and he was about to do so, wondering if the outcome could have been different had they not been interrupted. And then he remembered…  
“What does PT stand for?” He asked, having apparently built up enough nerve to ask Emmanuel directly.  
He recognized that his timing was off, seeing as the day had been plenty eventful for both he and Emmanuel already. He didn’t exactly wish to bother Emmanuel, or take up any more of his time, which had already been wasted by Sanna Marin showing up without notice. He was curious however, and had been for a very long time.  
“None of your business,” Emmanuel answered, not sparing a single glance at Justin before brushing him off. “Get out.”  
Justin had gotten used to being ordered to leave, and gradually the two words carried less negative impact on his overall mood and perception of Emmanuel’s mood. Of course, it still stung every time, but in this instance less so. He’d also learned that Emmanuel was usually more pleased when his request was obeyed, and so Justin left the office slightly dismayed. 

***

Justin poked his calendar with the pen he’d been fidgeting with for several hours already, counting the days compulsively. He’d been employed 2 weeks marked by the current date, and he was overly conscious of the fact that most of Emmanuel’s assistants lasted only 2 weeks. In conclusion; was he bordering a firing? By his estimations he was performing effectively at his job, and additionally he’d managed not to displease Emmanuel to a concerning degree. He’d trained himself not to stare, or let his gaze linger on Emmanuel for too long, which was especially difficult when he got restless or had one of his usual fantasies. Although Emmanuel never seemed bothered by any stretch of the imagination, Justin had to consider the optics. And even if Emmanuel wasn’t fazed by his endless glances and staring; Clara certainly was.  
While worrying about his potential firing could have consumed him for hours on end, his reveries were disrupted by multiple thuds and sounds of rummaging. Justin looked up from the calendar, easily spotting Se-Jin who’d dropped a tall stack of folders and papers that Justin figured she’d idly balanced before they’d slipped from her grasp. He quickly got up from the desk, hurrying over to help her pick up the slew of material, and she instantly welcomed the help.  
“My knight in shining armor,” She chuckled playfully, Just the way he was familiar with from her. “I forgot to ask you if my advice was useful.”  
They helped each other pick up and stack the papers, and Se-Jin started putting them in order. Justin wasn’t exactly sure what to tell her, not wanting to reveal the overwhelming punishment her advice had resulted in, and that he probably would have been better off not following the advice in question.  
“Well…” He nervously started, carefully considering his words before continuing. “It didn’t exactly go as planned, but I think something good actually came of it.”  
It wasn’t a lie. After all, if he hadn’t confronted Emmanuel, then perhaps some of his questions would still be unanswered. The punishment had laid the groundwork for a slightly intimate conversation, where Justin was able to share some of his concerns and gain reassurance from Emmanuel, however limited that reassurance was.  
“I see,” She nodded, obviously craving more details, but taking Justin’s timid silence as a sign that she herself would have to carry the discussion if she wanted for it to progress. “You’re ready for the next step then,” She added, pleased with how Justin suddenly perked up with curiosity. “Ask them to go on a date with you - if you haven’t already that is.”  
Justin let out a slight scoff, playing out the scenario in which he’d ask Emmanuel out in his head, and finding it extremely comical. He was barely allowed inside Emmanuel’s office, and she expected him to take ‘the next step’? At the rate his relationship with Emmanuel was developing, such a rapid advancement would take years, if even possible at all. This wasn’t something he had the interest in telling Se-Jin though, and so he merely nodded as if considering her new advice.  
“After that you’ll be ready to propose,” She smiled widely, and even more so when Justin’s eyes widened substantially. “I’m kidding, relax,” She grinned teasingly. “There are a few steps in between.”  
Justin rolled his eyes, and they finished stacking the folders, then loose papers. He wondered how she’d managed to carry such an unstable stack of material, and if it would be appropriate for him to help her with it. Before he had a chance to consider it further, Se-Jin started scooping it up, causing her hair to cover not just one of her eyes - as her usual hairstyle always did - but nearly both eyes, which would obscure her vision completely. Justin didn’t think much of his next action, casually but gently brushing the hair away from both eyes and-  
He flinched, gasping involuntarily as the entirety of her face was exposed. He realized that her hairstyle was deliberate, and that he’d made a mistake by interfering with it. It was only brief, but the sight was etched into his mind; her eye was missing, the socket pestered by severe scarring, extending from nearly the entire side of her face. The manner of the scarring reminded him of that of a burn victim, and he settled on that as the explanation.  
His hand was still in her hair, and before he could retract it; she’d let go of the stack, catching his wrist. Her nails dug into his skin, deep enough to make his hand tremble and another gasp to escape his lips. He wasn’t sure what his facial expression had reflected, but her reaction suggested that in the worst case it was disgust. Even though it hadn’t been intentional, he’d disrespected her and acted inappropriately. She pushed his hand away with a look of anger woven with fear or perhaps shame - Justin couldn’t quite tell. Having to judge by only one functioning side of her face was something that obscured his insight as well, but surely he could label the response as negative, and himself as the cause of it.  
“I’m so sorry,” He quickly exclaimed, but the damage was done, and the panic on her face clearly confirmed this. “I didn’t mean to-”  
Before he could even finish explaining himself, she was already walking away with haste. He impulsively took a step forward, wanting to follow her in order to comfort her, but Emmanuel had gripped his arm, keeping him in place.  
“Leave her be,” Emmanuel ordered, tone harsh which indicated that Justin’s carelessness had affected not just Se-Jin but him as well. “Get in my office.”  
Justin was conflicted, worrying excessively about the situation with Se-Jin while simultaneously anxious about having upset Emmanuel. He hesitated but ended up obeying, entering the office with distress painting his features, unable to get the image of Se-Jin’s scars to fade from his conscience. The urge to chase after her was still making itself apparent with the growing restlessness he was experiencing by waiting patiently for Emmanuel to start yelling at him. But everything was quiet.  
“I didn’t mean to- I was-” Justin stuttered, taking the opportunity to explain himself, but doing a poor job at it, increasing his already inordinate worry. “I didn’t know-”  
“Justin, calm down,” Emmanuel said with a gentle voice, approaching him carefully, seeing as he seemed to be slightly out of it. “Take a deep breath.”  
It was only when Emmanuel had said that, that Justin noticed how he was panting and unconsciously hugging himself. He didn’t speculate over why Emmanuel appeared to be completely composed and not the least bit mad. Rather, he wondered how Emmanuel knew what had happened with him and Se-Jin. He figured that Emmanuel had - due to his observation skills - caught sight of what was happening and kept an eye on them. It was either that or just a coincidence.  
“I didn’t know she had… on her face,” Justin finally said, partially regretting his articulation. “I’m really sorry.”  
Emmanuel didn’t react much to his apology, perhaps not considering it necessary, taking into account that Se-Jin was the only one who’d been wronged. Of course, there was a sense of overprotection that never seemed to escape him, though Se-Jin was a grown and independent woman.  
“I know,” He simply stated, getting his thoughts in order as he supposed Justin would have some potentially intimate questions about Se-Jin’s defect. “You can apologize next time you run into her, but for now it’s better to just stay clear of her. I assume she’ll have forgotten all about it tomorrow or so.”  
Justin opened his mouth to say something, and Emmanuel suspected the questions were incoming, however he closed it again without saying anything. Perhaps he was discouraged, or too worked up, either way, he merely lowered his gaze to the floor.  
“Very well,” Emmanuel said, somewhat relieved with not having to deal with Justin’s usual tactlessness. “Sit down on the couch until you’ve calmed down a bit.”  
Justin did as he was told, sitting down and focusing his attention on steadying his breathing. Emmanuel went back to work, occasionally glancing over at Justin to monitor him. After a couple of minutes Justin decided to leave, not eager to find out if Emmanuel would eventually kick him out if he stayed too long. When he was back at his desk he realized that the stack of material was gone, and wondered why he hadn’t noticed anyone picking it up. It wasn’t really relevant though, since it was indeed gone and out of sight, along with the carrier. 

***

Justin let his gaze slide down the row of colorful cars, all types of models and features beyond the limits of his imagination. He was almost dumbstruck, as if the sight was surreal or a mere trick of his subconscious mind. It was absolutely real though, and he felt like a child in a candy shop… if the candy was possibly worth millions of dollars.  
“He… owns all of these?” Justin asked, knowing the answer in advance, and supposedly it was a bad habit of his to ask about the obvious. “But I’ve never seen him drive.”  
For as long as he’d been employed, he’d never once seen Emmanuel behind the wheel, nor as a passenger in one of the colorful vehicles. He’d never come across a photo of this either, though many photos of Emmanuel were available online. He vaguely remembered a black car from when Clara had joined him at the convention, but even then Emmanuel had a driver.  
“I guess he’s more of a collector,” Brunette Clara answered, examining the wide variety of cars. “He does take one of these out for a spin whenever he finds the time though. Mostly he just does paperwork or prep during transportation however. And driving something a little subtle is substantially more practical.”  
Justin figured that description suited his perception of Emmanuel, and so he wasn’t exactly surprised. He knew that Emmanuel was busy, but it seemed - at least from his own perspective - like such a waste. If he had a car like any of the ones in front of him, he’d be sure to drive it everywhere. Currently the option of a car was financially out of his reach, although he had a valid driver’s license.  
“Why are you showing me his collection though?” Justin asked, not that he was complaining, however the timing as well as the occasion was slightly odd. “I mean, does he know you brought me here?”  
For some reason, even looking at the cars he felt as if he’d invaded Emmanuel’s privacy. If he was indeed doing this without Emmanuel’s explicit permission, it would be sure to piss him off. Would it warrant a punishment? Clara was the one who’d brought him to the private parking lot, so would it be unfair to say she carried the responsibility?  
“Of course he knows. He was the one who suggested I take you here.” She replied, appearing slightly annoyed despite her mostly kind demeanor. “I assume you know how to drive?”  
Justin nodded absentmindedly, suddenly having one of his usual sources of anxiety rekindled. Was Emmanuel avoiding him? If he wanted Justin to see the collection then why didn’t he bring him there himself? Justin wasn’t disappointed to be accompanied by Clara, in fact, he considered her presence to be pleasant, and one that he appreciated. Nevertheless, he felt somewhat neglected by Emmanuel, which he knew was childish and probably irrational. He couldn’t help it, and seldom was that not the case. He knew that Emmanuel was busy, of course, and that was perhaps the explanation for his abstention.  
“Then you’ll be driving Emmanuel next week,” Clara nodded, seemingly pleased. “Take a closer look, and consider which one you’d like to drive,” She added. “I’m sure there’s at least one of them that matches your taste, considering the wide selection.”  
Justin had only then snapped out of his worries, completely taken aback by her words. He was barely able to comprehend what was being asked of him, and the opportunity he was being given. He now had another element adding to the glitch in his thought process, spinning it further out of control. Emmanuel wanted him to drive a car that expensive? It had to indicate considerable confidence in his abilities, not least as a driver. Probably more confidence than Justin himself had, which fueled another worry of his, namely; damaging or even crashing the car. That was almost too anxiety provoking to imagine, and he quickly pushed the thought away, concentrating on the cars.  
“Why not have his driver drive him?” Justin asked as he examined the first car in the row, wondering what the cause of the request was. “Isn’t he worried I’ll mess it up?”  
He looked at her for approval before touching the car, not wanting to cross some invisible line that would be crossed regardless if he really were to drive the car. She gestured for him to go ahead, smiling in her usual sympathetic manner.  
“His driver is taking the day off, and Clara offered to find a replacement,” She explained, straightening her blue dress. “Emmanuel requested that you drive him instead. Is that a problem?”  
Justin wasn’t sure what to answer. The entire situation suddenly seemed so intimidating, and he was starting to have doubts. The cars were extraordinary to put it mildly, and he felt almost drawn to them, eager to place himself behind the wheel. But if something really did happen and he failed to ensure Emmanuel’s - let alone his own - safety, then what?  
“No, there’s no problem,” He answered, deciding that the option he feared the most was not meeting Emmanuel’s expectations. “I can do it.”

***

“You know,” Se-Jin started, casually approaching Justin at his desk. “Every time I see you, you’re either sulking or frowning. How about smiling once in a while?”  
Justin automatically smiled, not putting much thought into the act, however it seemed to appease her ever so slightly. He wasn’t sure what to say, not having spoken to her since the last unfortunate incident that had resulted in their relationship growing rather tense. At that moment though, she appeared as if it had never occurred. Justin considered doing the same, but he did have questions in need of answering, not to mention an apology to deliver.  
“I’m sorry,” He said, which she didn’t react much to, save for a slight smile that mirrored his. “I should not have done what I did. I realize now that it was highly inappropriate, and I apologize.”  
For a moment he was worried the apology had sounded too formal and forced, which was the opposite of what he intended. He’d been on edge about what had happened since the incident, and now he had to curse himself for not having prepared a better apology. Even meeting her gaze was hard since he was overly conscious of what was beneath the platinum strands covering her eye… or lack thereof. He’d replayed the memory repeatedly, seeing the scar whenever he wasn’t distracted by something else, though feeling guilty about revisiting a memory he wasn’t supposed to have in the first place.  
“No worries,” She shrugged nonchalantly, perhaps knowing already that Justin was indeed worrying, and that he regretted his action. “It’s not how I wanted you to find out, but what’s done is done.”  
Justin released a sigh of relief, suddenly feeling lighter than he had in a long time. It had even consumed him so much, he’d forgotten that he was supposed to have been fired by then. He was still walking on eggshells but for now it was bearable. Of course, that didn’t prevent him from jeopardizing it by asking an intimate and potentially inappropriate question.  
“How did you lose your eye?” He asked, like a curious child out of tact with social norms. “If you don’t mind me asking.”  
He hoped the last part would make up for the first part, and from what he could tell, she didn’t seem bothered by the question. Merely, she considered his words as if she didn’t know the answer. Finally she nodded to herself, having decided on the explanation.  
“I was in an accident,” She said, not overwhelmingly emotional, rather remarkably neutral. “I was a child when it happened. It’s not important.”  
Justin recognized the timid response as a sign that she wanted to end the conversation there. He felt that the explanation was believable, and he also didn’t have any reason to doubt her motivations. There really wasn’t a reason to lie, and so he thought it best to just leave it there. If he managed to stay employed, perhaps in the future they’d be comfortable enough with each other for her to go into detail. Despite his curiosity, he knew that it was none of his business, and by her choice he might come to know the rest of the story.

***

“Where exactly are we going?” Justin asked, nervously clutching the wheel while sitting in a manner as to not accidentally step on the pedals.  
He’d picked a blue Mercedes which at the time had humored Clara greatly, and that he felt would be the most suitable option for him to drive. Emmanuel was in the passenger’s seat, with a stack of folders in his lap. Justin couldn’t tell if he was nervous, or if he was aware that Justin himself was nervous. Maybe that was the purpose of requesting for him to drive; for the sake of teasing. Though, was teasing really worth potentially totaling a Mercedes for?  
“You’re the driver,” Emmanuel answered with a raised eyebrow, purposely misinterpreting Justin’s question. “You’re supposed to know where we’re going.”  
Justin really didn’t have the energy to reply with a snarky comment, nor hiss at Emmanuel for not taking his question seriously. He was mostly concerned about doing something wrong in regards to the car, utterly consumed by all the ways he could end up damaging it.  
“I can see the location on the GPS, but I don’t know what’s there,” He specified, in case Emmanuel wasn’t playing dumb. “Care to inform me?”  
Emmanuel put down his pen, not looking especially bothered by Justin’s curiosity, and even appearing less intimidating than usual. If there was anything calming Justin down, it would be Emmanuel’s presence. That in itself was progress, since usually being near him only made Justin’s heart start racing. But in stressful situations, such as at the piano during the company dinner, having Emmanuel next to him was a saving grace. Perhaps now was a situation of the same sort.  
“Nothing in particular,” Emmanuel said, gesturing at the handbrake so that they could get going. “It’s work related of course, but I’ll be having a meeting with the CEO of another company; Narendra Modi.”  
It wasn’t someone Justin had heard of before, and so he didn’t speculate over it any further. He instead concentrated on driving, and sure enough, that took considerable attention. Although he was overly careful and intent on preserving the car, he had to constantly remind himself not to let his gaze wander and fixate on Emmanuel instead of the traffic. It was different from staring at Emmanuel from his desk, since doing so while driving would have actual consequences.  
“I forgot to mention,” Emmanuel started, almost startling Justin who thought he’d been caught not paying sufficient attention to the road. “If Modi sees you he’ll try to give you a hug, and I suggest you just go with it.”  
The statement took Justin by surprise and he didn’t really see the logic in it. It wasn’t obvious why a person he knew nothing about would give him a hug, or why he should simply accept such a gesture. Furthermore, did this mean Justin would be accompanying Emmanuel to the meeting, or merely walk him inside the building?  
“But I’m just your assistant,” He answered, expressing his confusion.  
“Justin,” Emmanuel began, looking up from his folder, as if Justin had said something absurd. “You’re not just my assistant.”  
“I’m not?” Justin asked as they stopped at a red light, reciprocating Emmanuel’s gaze.  
He could feel his heart skipping a beat, or maybe two, or even three. He was trying not to get his hopes up, but it was inevitable considering that Emmanuel had just confirmed that their relationship was progressing. He knew that his cheeks were starting to flare up, but his focus was on Emmanuel, and so he paid no mind to it. Their eyes remained locked, and the moment called for Justin to lean in and catch his lips with his own… right?  
“You’re also my driver,” Emmanuel said.  
Oh.  
The light changed to green, and Justin almost missed it, causing the vehicles behind them to honk. It was painfully clear to both of them that Justin had misinterpreted the intent behind Emmanuel’s statement, and now he was blushing profusely, much to Emmanuel’s amusement. He’d partly led on Justin for that purpose alone, and almost felt sorry for the temporary joy on Justin’s features that he had now robbed him of.  
“Right,” Justin stuttered, clearing his throat while already busying himself with driving to hide his own embarrassment. “That too.”  
Even with his head turned, Emmanuel could tell that he was flustered, since the blush reached all the way to his ears. He’d never admit to it, but Justin’s shy nature was something he found to be deeply adorable. Perhaps that was the factor spurring him on as he laid a hand on Justin’s thigh. At that point it was too late for him to not take advantage of the situation, and he slowly moved his hand up.  
Justin’s breath caught, and his grip around the wheel tightened, continuing to do so as Emmanuel’s hand moved upwards, until it was between his legs. He had to focus on the road, the traffic, the brakes, gears, and throttle, but the only thing on his mind was Emmanuel’s hand. It was dangerous, and surely Emmanuel knew that, so why was he purposely impairing Justin’s ability to drive? It could easily be just another tease, where Emmanuel would arouse him just to leave him with a painful erection that he wouldn’t be able to take care of. This however, wasn’t the case, and that became obvious when Emmanuel unzipped his pants, slipping a hand into his underwear.  
“Are you crazy?” Justin gasped, tightening his grip around the wheel even further. “What if we crash?”  
Emmanuel didn’t seem the least bit bothered by the prospect of this, and he simply brushed off Justin’s concern. He gave Justin’s lower half a rough stroke, feeling it respond eagerly to his touch, and Justin hissed while thrusting his hips upwards.  
“We won’t crash if you just drive the car properly,” Emmanuel smirked, as if the solution was obvious and the problem minimal. “Don’t you trust me?”  
While Justin’s patience with Emmanuel was wearing thin, his lack of trust was mostly in relation to himself and his driving skills when affected by an… obstacle. He bit his lip in order to focus, but the sticky feeling in his underwear was hard to ignore, much like the stimulation of Emmanuel’s hand in his pants.  
“What if I get the car dirty,” He asked, already trembling from the pleasure that was clouding his mind. “I’m already…”  
Emmanuel slipped the fabric further down, ensuring that if Justin were to finish then the car would be thoroughly dirtied. This only confused Justin more, since it made no sense for Emmanuel to want to defile his expensive Mercedes. It wouldn’t be the first time Justin failed to gain control of a situation Emmanuel clearly wanted him to lose control over.  
“There’s a traffic light up ahead in about 2 minutes,” Emmanuel informed him, while simultaneously moving his hand. “If it’s red you’ll be able to find a pack of tissues in the glove compartment. If not then you’ll have to wait for the next red light.”  
The rules were fairly simple; if Justin wanted to avoid getting the car or his underwear dirty then his timing would have to match up with the traffic lights. He knew that with a swift movement he could let go of the wheel long enough to pull up his underwear, subsequently dirtying them. Although it wasn’t a desirable outcome, this option was preferable to dirtying the car if he didn’t make the red lights. There was another possibility of withdrawing consent, but Justin was both afraid of disappointing Emmanuel, and in dire need of relief.  
“What if I can’t make it to the red light?” He asked, voice caught in a partial moan.  
Emmanuel didn’t entirely get the urgency, seeing as the nearest potential red light wasn’t far. Even so, he increased the pace of his strokes in order to make Justin even more desperate. The car slid outwards, barely crossing the guiding white line on the road, which in itself could have warranted a ticket for reckless driving, and Justin quickly stabilized the course.  
“It’s 2 minutes Justin,” He pointed out, appearing to be entertained by the crash they’d narrowly avoided. “You’re not a sexually frustrated teenager, but you can’t last longer than one?”  
Justin sunk deeper into his preexisting blush, feeling his skin flaring just from that mere comment. He was suddenly painfully aware of how fast he’d finished the two times he and Emmanuel had engaged in lewd acts. Even the time when Emmanuel had physically prevented him from ejaculating, he’d still managed to orgasm fairly quickly. He was usually able to last longer, but with Emmanuel near him it was extremely difficult. Not that he’d ever say that out loud, even if it meant quelling some of the embarrassment, because it would only make him more vulnerable to Emmanuel.  
“I’ll last,” He hissed, with a fair amount of conviction, although Emmanuel remained skeptical - and justifiably so, as he felt his hand getting slicker with precum.  
Indeed the traffic light wasn’t far, but Justin could barely keep track of anything at that point. His hands were desperately clinging to the wheel, while his grip was gradually slipping due to the sweat that accumulated. He was incapable of edging since Emmanuel was the one who controlled the pace and pressure, and stubbornly kept it intense enough for Justin to nearly lose it.  
He was almost certain that in spite of his efforts he’d finish before reaching the red light, however it appeared in the distance so conveniently it gave him enough endurance to hold back. His foot inched closer to the brakes with what little concentration he could spare as the car approached the traffic light. He never thought he’d be this relieved to see a red light and only now - on the verge of orgasming - was he thankful to what would usually be considered an inconvenience.  
And then the light turned green.  
“The next one is in another minute,” Emmanuel said, continuing to move his hand, though at a slower pace to afford Justin more time. “I’m impressed you even lasted this long.”  
Justin would’ve clapped back at the condescending comment, however he was strained to a point where all his energy was being directed towards preventing himself from coming. He whimpered in frustration, and even though Emmanuel had made it easier by slowing down, he was well aware that it wouldn’t be sufficient. Every second felt as if multiplied by ten, and the traffic light seemed to be nowhere in sight.  
“I can’t-” Justin hissed, alluding to the fact that he was about to finish. “I’m not going to make it. I’m sorry. Please I-”  
His entire body was now trembling, and even Emmanuel could tell he’d reached the limit. Even so, he didn’t slow down the pace at which he was moving his hand, despite knowing what this would result in, solely because Justin’s voice sounded so deliciously tortured. The expression Justin carried was almost equally provoking, to the point he’d nearly wish to see tears decorating the pretty flushed cheeks.  
“Justin the red light is right there,” He said with a gentle, and almost sympathetic tone of voice, managing to catch Justin’s attention. “Just 20 seconds tops.”  
The constant energy put into suppressing the climax was draining Justin’s stamina, and his muscles were twitching in protest. Although it should’ve been the least of his concern, he felt an increasing anxiousness pertaining to the possibility that someone would catch him writhing in his seat. If he exceeded the speed limit he could potentially reduce the 20 seconds to 10 seconds, yet he quickly willed the option away as it was, well, illegal. Even more distressing; he wouldn’t be able to make it to the red light, no matter the speed of the car.  
“I can’t- Emmanuel-” He whimpered, losing all control while letting go of the wheel completely, causing Emmanuel to steer it with his other hand, as Justin pulled his underwear up.  
He arched his back with a strangled moan, climaxing intensely, and forgetting everything in the moment of pleasure. All his senses were hazy except for the one regulating physical stimulation, which he allowed to take over. He could feel the release that was finally afforded him deep in his gut, spreading to every limb with a pleasant tingling. The fluid soaked his underwear and trailed further in between his legs, pooling there to the point Justin was afraid he’d dirty the car anyway. It seemed like an eternity, but eventually he came back to his senses.  
There wasn’t much time to register the circumstances, so he promptly stepped on the brakes, praying that it would be sufficient to stop the car before the red light. His breath caught and he gripped the edges of his seat closing his eyes as if catastrophe was incoming. When he felt the car finally grinding to a halt, he cautiously opened one eye at first, then two when he registered the surroundings, and deemed the outcome benign. They were in front of the intersection, ever so slightly crossing the stop line, though everything appeared to be ordinary.  
“See?” Emmanuel smirked, letting go of the wheel for Justin to take over again. “We didn’t crash. Wasn’t so hard, was it?”  
Normally Justin would’ve been far more provoked by Emmanuel’s smug, self satisfied and highly arrogant attitude, but right then and there he simply focused on exhaling, and letting go of the breath he’d been holding onto since his foot had hit the brakes. He took hold of the wheel, shifting to first gear and starting back up when the light turned green. He had to reboot his mind when he realized he’d completely forgotten where they were headed and what had just happened. The most urgent of his worries happened to be the sticky sensation of the fabric rubbing against his skin, and the extensive surface area of said sticky sensation.  
“I’m sorry,” He sighed, not entirely sure if he was apologizing for the mess or for the fact that he’d finished too soon, although those two factors intermingled. “I think I got… on the seat.”  
Emmanuel was already preoccupied with his paperwork again, and Justin was stunned as he made the revelation that Emmanuel truly hadn’t been affected by the nerve wracking incident that had just occurred. Compared to Justin he was altogether calm and indifferent, not even bothering to worry about the consequences.  
“That’s fine, I’ll have it cleaned if necessary,” He answered, turning a page in his folder, then raising his head as if something had slipped his mind. “You did well, by the way.”  
‘Well’ certainly wasn’t how Justin would’ve described the situation, yet Emmanuel seemed confident in his statement and Justin supposed they’d experienced the incident differently. He really didn’t want to imagine himself or his performance from Emmanuel’s perspective, blushing alone as a result of the minimal details he remembered from the daze of his orgasm.  
“What am I supposed to do with…” Justin hesitated, not wanting to verbally express the state of his underwear, though Emmanuel was nodding for him to go on. “My pants.”  
Emmanuel took a single glance at the damage that had been done, and his expression suggested that he also considered it to be quite the problem. He opened the glove compartment, pulling up the tissues that Justin was supposed to have applied earlier.  
“We’ll deal with it when we get there, but I can’t clean you up while you drive,” Emmanuel said, which Justin found ironic since Emmanuel had no problem performing other tasks while under the same circumstances. “Just hang in there for now.”  
Of course, there wasn’t much Justin could do, and he did need to get Emmanuel to the meeting on time. The nagging worry of having dirtied the car would consist throughout the entire drive however, and it only added to the redness of his cheeks. When they finally arrived at the company at which the meeting would take place, the parking lot was relatively deserted, and Emmanuel took it as a cue to start cleaning Justin up. He took a tissue, reaching for Justin’s waistband, before he was promptly stopped. Justin’s eyes were veiled behind his curls, his hands were keeping Emmanuel’s in place.  
“You should go,” Justin said, shifting uncomfortably in the seat, though not paying much attention to the rule of not touching Emmanuel without permission. “You have a meeting you need to get to.”  
Emmanuel didn’t really understand Justin’s newfound timidity, having expected no resistance from him, considering he’d been so eager for those tissues just moments before.  
“It’s in 15 minutes,” Emmanuel pointed out, easily brushing off Justin’s excuse for him to leave. “Even taking the stairs won’t be a problem since the conference room is on the second floor. This’ll only take a second if you let go of my hands.”  
Justin didn’t let go however, still holding Emmanuel’s wrists tightly in place, and preventing him from getting any closer. He couldn’t move his gaze from where it was solidly planted at the floor of the car, mostly because his cheeks would be too exposed, and he was embarrassed by his own flustered appearance. He almost resembled a child, the way he was stubbornly preventing Emmanuel from taking care of him, as desperately as it was needed.  
“Justin, are you perhaps shy?” Emmanuel gently asked him, leaning in further though knowing it was making Justin nervous. “I just gave you a handjob, as I’ve done before, and as you’ve done in front of me. What’s so embarrassing about this?”  
Even Justin could tell that it was absurd for him to suddenly feel ashamed, but mostly he could distract himself from his own nakedness while aroused and during sex. After was different. He was perfectly lucid, and self conscious, susceptible to feelings of embarrassment and shame.  
“If you really don’t want a tissue…” Emmanuel whispered seductively in Justin’s ear, with lips slightly teasing the sensitive skin. “I’ll have to use my tongue instead.”  
He pulled back to see Justin’s reaction and was incredibly amused when the blush flared up again, and Justin’s panicked expression turned into something of resolve. When he finally let go of Emmanuel’s wrists, he instead used his hands to cover his face. Although he was reluctant to have Emmanuel use a tissue, Justin could under no circumstances let him use his tongue. The mere thought was enough to make his heart beat out of his chest, and his thought process spin out of control.  
Emmanuel pulled down the fabric, appearing almost surprised at first. The wet material was sticking to Justin’s skin, and causing slick sounds when pulled back. He licked his lips, almost disappointed to have Justin draw the line at the tissue, preventing him from going further.  
“You came so much,” He praised, laying a hand on Justin’s thigh and nearly forgetting about their agreement. “You act all responsible but I can tell how much this part of you loves the risk taking.”  
Justin had to relent that Emmanuel wasn’t incorrect in his assessment, though the excessive fluid was mostly due to the prolonged climax suppression, which amplified the stimulation. Nevertheless, the arousal itself could be partially attributed to the reckless driving, seeing as the impulsive behavior added to the excitement. Emmanuel started wiping him clean, carefully brushing the tissue across Justin’s skin, until the tissue was insufficient, and he had to take a new one.  
Normally Justin had trouble staying flaccid when being given attention by Emmanuel - let alone being touched by him - but in that quiet moment he simply felt worn out, and almost sleepy. That of course didn’t stop his breathing from becoming rigid, nor his ears from catching the blush. When Emmanuel was finished cleaning him up, he zipped Justin’s pants, and brushed the curls away from his eyes.  
“I assume you don’t want to join me,” He smiled, referring to the meeting he was about to attend.  
Considering the condition of his pants - though only visibly wet to a certain extent - and the saturation of his features, Justin had no intention of leaving the car. Luckily he’d prepared for this, having brought work of his own to complete. Additionally, he had to inspect the seat for… residue, and attempt to clean it up.  
“That probably wouldn’t end well,” He answered, gaze dipping to his crotch, and lips reciprocating the smile. “But you can tell me how it went, afterwards.”  
Emmanuel nodded and soon he’d left the car, much to Justin’s subtle dismay. He didn’t exactly like the feeling he was left with whenever he’d engaged sexually with Emmanuel, since the sense of humiliation had a habit of lingering. Or perhaps he simply didn’t like it when Emmanuel was no longer there, and these feelings had a chance to take hold. In any case; he felt truly pathetic.

***

They were back at the office relatively late, though most of the employees were still present on the top floor. They’d only just now started to file out, and Justin would’ve felt more self conscious had Emmanuel not brought him a clean pair of pants. His underwear was now stiff, and walking was uncomfortable, but it wasn’t something he paid much mind to. He was relieved that the seat of Emmanuel’s Mercedes was almost spotless, and even more so that the drive back had been unproblematic.  
He walked past blond Clara on the way to his desk, and he could tell from her scrutinizing glare that she had caught on to his change of pants. She was wearing her coat and scarf, and Justin assumed she was on her way home, therefore not bothering to question him. And sure enough, she walked right past him in her usual indifferent manner.  
He sat down rather awkwardly at his desk, about to unpack the work supplies he’d brought with him in the car, but before he could get any further; a woman stopped at the desk. She was wearing yellow and Justin recognized her as the assistant who’d gotten him the two bottles of water, even though he hadn’t speculated much about her since then.  
“I need you to fill this out,” She said, handing him a piece of paper that he was meant to take care of, then turning to leave as it seemed her task of bringing him the paper was done.  
“What’s your name?” Justin asked, feeling rude for not knowing already, and not having asked sooner.  
“Clara.”


	4. Prying Eyes

Yellow faded from his line of sight, and the sound of heels clacking against the floor made resonance in his conscience, as the woman - another Clara - walked away from his desk. Justin was stunned, unmoving in his chair, while the nervous stirring played out mostly in his mind. There was no sense to be made out of the events that had just occurred, and if there was - Justin was lacking insight. 

The only thing he felt he could be fairly certain of, was that her name wasn’t Clara. Then had it been a joke? That was highly unlikely since they were not on joking terms, and hardly knew each other, at least not to the extent of making jokes. The manner of which she walked away also suggested that she’d seen nothing comical in the situation. 

Justin stood up from his desk, shaking off his discomfort sufficiently enough to gain some oversight, and determine his next course of action. He sprinted for the elevator, not bothering to consider that his pace was a head-turner for anyone not knowing his circumstances. His mind was somewhere else, and he had trouble even taking into account that there might be a rational explanation to what he had witnessed. 

He had to catch blond Clara before she exited the building, and hopefully then he’d be able to get some answers to questions that were now overflowing the borders of his thought process. While the elevator descended slower than he had patience for, Justin suddenly harbored a new doubt; was Clara’s name Clara?

The elevator doors opened and Justin ran through the entrance hall, nearly alerting security. Blond Clara was nowhere to be seen, however her bag lay dropped on the marble tiles, its contents scattered across the ground. He approached it with slackened steps as he caught his breath, listening to the overwhelming ripple of the wind bashing the raindrops against the glass. It had darkened substantially outside, and he was wary of the scene, seeing as the bag lay abandoned, with the owner out of sight. 

He carefully started putting the items back into the bag, but paused when he picked up a black leather wallet, and the curiosity inside him sparked. He knew that he’d be invading her privacy but he could easily use the excuse that he had to check who the owner of the bag was. He opened it, already feeling his hands tremble nervously with every movement, until he saw her driver’s license, and at that point he was frozen.

“I guess you got here first,” He heard a voice speak, and recognized it immediately. “You know, it’s not nice to pry.”

He looked up at the blond woman, sensing that she was aware that the lies he’d been told had now been exposed to him. Her eyes appeared almost apologetic, and somewhat demoralized, in a way Justin hadn’t seen them before. He supposed his own eyes reflected something mirroring hers, and he handed her the bag with a discontented sigh.

“Were you ever going to tell me that I’ve been calling you someone else’s name since the day I met you Lauren?” Justin asked, referring to her by her actual name, although the taste it left felt wrong to say the least. “And I assume the other Clara’s name isn’t Clara either.”

Lauren lowered her head in a tired gesture, indicating that she didn’t find the subject matter to be pleasant. Her jaw was clenched shut, as if she’d be spouting nonsense had it not been, and she simply stood there as she contemplated her answer.

“Why don’t we go back upstairs and I’ll explain everything to you,” She suggested, and Justin nodded hesitantly in response. “Good, let’s go then.”

***

Lauren was standing with her back turned to Justin who was sitting at the table in the breakroom. The light’s were low, and most other employees had left work, which allowed for them to continue their conversation undisturbed. He waited patiently for her to start her explanation as promised, however she was merely leaning over the counter while staring quietly at the cupboard. 

Her behavior was resulting in discomfort on Justin’s part, and he weighed the option of urging her on, though he figured she’d start when she was ready. And just as he was about to rethink his approach, she turned to him without letting her gaze meet his.

“My name isn’t Clara,” She finally stated, continuing to avoid his questioning expression. “No one at this company is named Clara as far as I know.”

She was confirming information Justin was already aware of, but it still caused his heart rate to pick up pace, and his restless fidgeting to spiral. It was a strange thing to lie about, and he was bound to find out sooner or later, even she must’ve known that. And from there his worries only increased, in that new speculations formed with paranoid characteristics. Who had been in on this ‘joke’ of sorts? He didn’t want to suspect it but Emmanuel might have known or perhaps dictated the whole thing. Yet, Justin barely knew the details. 

“Why would you lie?” He asked, in his now signature confusion. 

He was trying to sound neutral and unfazed, but this was challenging with the weight of the irrational situation, and the rising anxiety this had already resulted in. Though he hadn’t been at the company for long, and he didn’t have a particularly close bond with the employees, he’d expected a certain level of trust that he now felt had been betrayed.

“I have no choice,” She almost hissed, realizing herself that the argument was weak, and hardly served to persuade Justin. “Look, this is how we do things here, whether you like it or not. It’s always been this way, so just get used to it.” She quieted herself down a bit before continuing, as if there was a possibility of someone eavesdropping on them. “Call me Clara. Nothing else.”

Justin was yet again stunned, not understanding the logic in the situation, and left with a slew of unanswered questions, to the point he didn’t know where to start. He simply sat there, eyebrows knitted together, carrying the aura of a lost puppy.

“You said you’d explain,” He shook his head, finding her reasoning to be inadequate. “Why should I call you a name that isn’t yours? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Even if Justin had reasons to be distrustful, he still relied on her to give him information. She seemed to know more than she was letting on, but was reluctant to answer Justin’s questions, causing further suspicion from the latter. Her pleading expression indicated that she needed for him to let the subject go, however Justin had no intention of giving in.

“A while ago…” She began, leaning back against the counter as she spoke, while Justin listened intently. “I started counting.” She paused, but he knew instantly what she was referring to. “You’ve lasted longer as his personal assistant than any previous employee. And I don’t understand it because you suck at your job.”

Justin ignored the last line, disregarding the comment as mindless banter, although if she wasn’t correct then perhaps he would’ve disputed the insult. He instead focused on the part of her claim that he himself had had trouble figuring out. Why had he lasted this long without being fired? It sure wasn’t his work ethic and flawless performance, or lack thereof. It had to be something else, and something that even Lauren was not able to discern.

“I think.... I could tell you everything.” She sighed, nodding to herself, as if coming to terms with an internal decision. “But Emmanuel can’t know. If he finds out then we’ll both… he’s not a man of forgiveness, as I’m sure you know by now.”

Although her words hinted a sense of nervousness, Justin didn’t get the impression that she was fearful of Emmanuel. He himself could sometimes wonder if Emmanuel really was cruel rather than just sexually sadistic. There was a lack of gentility here and there, but this too didn’t seem like purposeful malice; rather strictness and habit.

“I won’t tattle,” Justin half smiled, even as the gesture seemed slightly inappropriate under the circumstances. “I don’t think there’s anything you could tell me that would surprise me at this point.”

She shot him a glare of skepticism, maintaining it long enough for Justin to adopt some of that skepticism himself. Of course, he couldn’t be sure of his reaction to what she was about to tell him, and the half-hearted smile had been a meek attempt at lightening an atmosphere that could not be lightened. He instead got comfortable in his chair, waiting patiently for her to begin.

“Emmanuel’s parents wanted a girl,” She started what appeared to be a very archetypal story. “They were already of old age when they had him, and even with fertility treatment they wouldn’t be able to have another child. They decided that Emmanuel was to be a girl. As you can probably imagine, a young boy forced to wear dresses would undoubtedly become troubled. Punishment was necessary to incentivize good behavior, but… Emmanuel wasn’t conforming to their expectations. So to make him comply they-”

She turned away again, and Justin could tell that she was covering her mouth. He wasn’t sure if it was for the purpose of stifling a sob, or if the words were making her nauseous. It wasn’t like her to become affected, emotionally or otherwise, so Justin knew that the information she was about to relay would be disturbing. Even he was getting anxious as she struggled to continue the story.

“They locked him in the closet,” She nearly stuttered, though Justin found the words to be fairly benign. “They kept him there the entire day and night as well. He screamed and banged on the walls but no one came for him, and only when he lost his voice did the cries end. He was deprived of food, water and light, and in the end he’d be too dehydrated to struggle. And yet he still refused to wear the dress. If he’d just worn the stupid dress-”

She cut herself off once again, her hand covering her quivering lips. The time she was taking to compose herself gave Justin a moment to digest her words. The things he’d been told seemed made up, and he wasn’t sure if he believed her. It would explain Emmanuel’s claustrophobia though, and why he took the stairs, plus his excessive reaction to the elevator when they’d taken it together. Justin still didn’t understand how that related in any way to the lies about her name.

“He changed after that,” She continued, with newfound neutrality in her attitude. “Even developed a stutter, and became terribly timid. Of course, his parents were pleased with this, and how Emmanuel was suddenly so agreeable.”

Justin wasn’t sure they had the same Emmanuel in mind, considering that the description ‘timid’ and ‘agreeable’ in no way could be applied to their superior. He hadn’t witnessed the stutter she’d mentioned, and knew for a fact that Emmanuel had never stuttered in his presence. He now wondered if she was turned away so as to not chuckle in front of him, revealing that it was a joke. Did she really think he was that naive? But then again, had he not complied with every order and followed along like a sheep since he’d started his employment?

“Look, if you’re not planning on telling me the truth-” Justin started but was quickly cut off when Lauren turned around in frustration with his accusation of untruthfulness.

“I’m not lying!” She burst out, like a child throwing a tantrum. “Just let me explain, and then everything will start to make sense.”

She appeared more desperate than Justin had previously seen her, and while he didn’t consider this to be an indication of sincerity, he did feel increasingly compelled to give her the benefit of the doubt. He nodded slowly, gesturing for her to continue, and this seemed to calm down what little discontentment she hadn’t been able to rid herself of. She turned back to the cupboard, and in the space between then and when she started speaking again nothing but the rain could be heard. It had without a doubt become dark outside, and if not entirely then it certainly would be once they were done.

“Emmanuel’s parents were upper-class, still are, and Emmanuel’s childhood should’ve been one of carelessness.” She sighed, giving Justin the impression that perhaps she’d wished for Emmanuel’s happiness longer than even Emmanuel knew. “A younger couple, friends of his parents, had recently been killed in a car crash. Their child was in the car too, but survived the accident, leaving her an orphan. None of her relatives were in America, nor capable of taking her in. So Emmanuel’s parents adopted her, and gave her a new name - the one they’d previously tried to force on Emmanuel.”

Justin had already guessed that the girl in question was Se-Jin, and he figured that the scar tissue and loss of her eye had been due to the car crash. He didn’t understand why Se-Jin hadn’t just explained this to him when he’d asked her about it, but perhaps it was a difficult subject for her to discuss. There was also the possibility that she simply didn’t consider it to be any of Justin’s business. 

“The femininity they’d projected onto Emmanuel eased up when they finally got to have the little girl they’d always wanted,” Lauren said, and brushed some hair behind her ear, as she went on. “He really adored her for that. He escaped the closet, the dresses, the name and so on. But… Se-Jin didn’t.”

This was another inconsistency that Justin couldn’t ignore. Se-Jin had no trouble taking the elevator, and she displayed no anxiety regarding it. In addition, there should’ve been no problem if Se-Jin was expected to be feminine, as she was in fact just that. Wearing a dress, and behaving like a girl wouldn’t have required incentives, nor punishments.

“Emmanuel had resisted that dress with every bone in his body, but Se-Jin did whatever she was told, even learning to respond to a name that wasn’t hers. She was never good enough however, because Emmanuel’s parents expected perfection, which was something Se-Jin simply wasn’t capable of. Each mistake led to that closet, and even then did she not resist. Meanwhile Emmanuel would still be treated like a girl when his parents were trying to demean him, or were frustrated with Se-Jin.”

Justin still perceived the story as a work of fiction, not regarding the words as lies but as an elaborate theory, formed from the livid fantasy Lauren clearly had. He was taking the approach of compassion, seeing as she had clear signs of delusion and could perhaps snap at any moment if he wasn’t careful.

“When Se-Jin became 17, she was already attending dinner parties where Emmanuel’s parents were showing her off like a showpiece at an auction,” Lauren scoffed, as to display her own disgust with the incidents. “And sure enough, she was arranged to marry when she turned 18.”

“Se-Jin would never allow herself to enter an arranged marriage let alone do it at such a young age,” Justin interjected, figuring he’d stayed quiet for too long. “We both know she’s her own person, and makes her own choices with little regard for what other people expect of her.”

Lauren had described Emmanuel in a way Justin had thought to be uncharacteristic, and now she was repeating the action, painting Se-Jin as a stranger to him. He saw no point in merely listening to her go on, when clearly her claims had no basis in reality. He’d been patient but that patience was running out.

“She was different back then,” Lauren shrugged, not adding any credibility to her statement with the careless gesture. “She thought she owed herself to the people who took her in. I mean, can you blame her? Emmanuel slowly taught her independence, but only after gaining it himself.”

“Se-Jin isn’t married though,” Justin pointed out, picking at another inconsistency.

Real life had not unfolded according to the order of events she was describing. If she expected him to believe her words then she’d at least have to take reality into consideration when making up a story that absurd. At that point Justin could only describe the time they were spending as a waste.

“A few days before her 18th birthday, Emmanuel decided that he needed to leave his parents, and take Se-Jin with him in order to prevent the marriage,” Lauren explained, and Justin supposed he could accept that divergence in the storyline. “They stayed with some friends for a while, then Emmanuel used his connections and the money he had access to, starting the company you’re now employed at.”

She turned around, and Justin took it as a hint that the story was over. He blinked a few times, searching his mind for something to say that would encourage her to admit that she was merely making up the whole thing for the sake of concealing a truth far worse than the fiction he had just listened to. But he had to consider the possibility that she had told the truth, unrealistic as that sounded, and impossible as it seemed to be.

“That makes no sense,” Justin said, his lips pressed in a tight line. “Even if it did, what does that have to do with the lies about your name? None of what you’ve told me so far explains why you lied about your name, or why you’re telling me about Emmanuel’s past.”

She slowly rubbed the bridge of her nose as if he was the one lacking the capacity to carry on the conversation. It still astonished Justin how she could expect him to believe her, when she’d lied and continuously failed to explain herself. She shook her head, then sat down next to him, figuring that this time they’d have to be facing each other for the discussion to go on.

“All employees on the top floor respond to the name Clara,” She said, knowing that Justin would have encountered that abnormality by then. “Emmanuel as well,” She said with a grain of regret in her voice. “His parents wanted a little girl. They named her Clara.”

Justin couldn’t make the connection that she apparently thought self-evident, and his confusion only increased with every detail. If anything, he only felt more misled than before she’d recounted the story to him. Again he was conflicted with his own complacency and wanting to object to the lies he was sure were being told. 

“You know Emmanuel, you know that he’s controlling and manipulative,” Lauren exclaimed, using words that even Justin considered to be austere, though being familiar with Emmanuel’s behavior, sometimes resembling what she’d described. “He’s changed over the years. Why do you think we’re all wearing these stupid dresses in specific colors? It’s about control, and he depends on it, because every time these memories take over he needs to project it onto the people around him. He’s going further down the rabbit hole, and recently he lost yet another person who kept him clear-minded. But Justin you can fix this. You can fix him.” 

Justin’s mouth fell just slightly open as if he had not fully registered her words, though it was precisely this that had stunted him. In that short last sentence she had managed to place the kind of responsibility on him that would naturally take any sane person aback, and nevertheless she seemed sure of her persuasiveness and ability to convince him. She had his unrequited attention, there was no question about it, but of course, was that positive? 

“I’ve seen it!” She insisted, almost so adamant it nearly made Justin flinch. “Why do you think I’m telling you all this? You’re influencing him, and I’m not the only one who's noticed. Se-Jin said the same thing, and she’s right. You made it past two weeks even though you were supposed to have been fired by now.”

Justin would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about that, since the lingering fear of getting fired had resulted in some rather significant distress. He remembered having lost sleep from idly expecting it. But did the fact that he had exceeded those two weeks really bear that much importance, let alone amount to that kind of reaction from Lauren. She was almost falling over in her seat, gazing intently at Justin as if waiting to be alleviated from a crushing burden. 

“How do you know these things?” He asked with a returning sense of wariness. “Emmanuel isn’t the type of person who would tell anyone about such private things. Why should I believe you?”

The last part appeared to almost offend Lauren, as if Justin had no business doubting her credibility. She obviously regarded herself as a person deserving of his unwavering trust, or perhaps she just perceived him as too naive to question her motives. Neither were serving her very well. 

“I was the daughter of the maid,” She explained, averting his eyes in a sense of shame. “My mother brought me to their residence when my father was working overtime, and I did chores when she deemed it appropriate. That’s how I know. I got close to Emmanuel, and later Se-Jin when she was adopted. The friends they stayed with after leaving the residence of their parents… my fiancé and I were those friends.”

Justin was mildly surprised to learn about her fiancé, and wondered if they’d gotten married since the period she was describing. He hadn’t considered that she had a life beyond her position at the company, and he had neglected to ask her about it. Her personal life wasn’t something she seemed especially eager to discuss and they were just coworkers after all.

“Your mother was employed by the Macrons and you decided to follow her footsteps?” Justin asked, pointing out a detail Lauren had been conscious of for years. “Isn’t it uncomfortable to be a subordinate to a childhood friend?”

She sighed somewhat bitterly, maybe dissatisfied with straying from the initial topic, or perhaps he’d struck a nerve. Pride was a defining quality in Emmanuel, and Lauren wasn’t much different in that regard. Justin wondered if that was the reason they’d formed a bond, whether or not this pride extended into their childhood.

“Does it matter?” She shrugged, hoping to brush aside his question. “Do you believe me now? There’s not much else I can say. Except…” She hesitated, choosing her words with caution. “Even if I was lying, the point remains the same; you’re different, you can fix him.”

Justin had a strange urge to burst out laughing, barely preventing himself from doing so. It wasn’t that her statement was particularly funny, but merely that the absurdity failed to provoke any other response. It was surreal, almost like a fever dream, and so he only gave it enough thought to calculate a polite rejection of her bizarre request.

“We both know that’s not how this works,” Justin scoffed, shaking his head. “People can’t be ‘fixed’ and you of all people should know that Emmanuel has no desire to reform his current habits and behavior. “Even now, when you say I’m different, there’s no substance to that claim. He hasn’t changed one bit since the first time I met him, and at times when I think there’s nothing that could surprise me, he manages to showcase yet another cruel side of himself.”

He could tell by the expression on her face that she was absolutely displeased with his answer and what appeared to be a denunciation of his relationship with Emmanuel. The dissatisfaction quickly transformed into downright annoyance. As if Justin had disrupted a well-calculated plan of hers, that she would now be forced to reconstruct, or discard of.

“So what?” She asked, looking at him with a stern complexion, seeming to hint at her frustration. “You’re going to quit? You said you wanted the truth, and you got it. After all that you’re just going to throw away the tools I gave you?”

Justin was about to refute the idea of him quitting that she’d started off by assuming of him - however, he was distracted by the later sentence that he couldn’t seem to discern. What tools was she referring to, and how was he supposedly throwing them away? He knew she was appealing to his curiosity by being vague, in order to persuade him. And she was succeeding.

“First off,” Justin began, addressing the matter of his employment first. “I have no intention of quitting, and I’ll remain here until whatever inevitable firing you keep mentioning,” He said, moving on to the subject he was craving information on. “What ‘tools’ did you provide me with? And what’s the purpose of these tools?”

Lauren flashed him a self-satisfied smirk, which Justin found to be even more unnerving than any frown she’d previously carried on her lips. He felt as if he’d walked into a trap, yet he had no clue what this trap entailed, and his sense of curiosity was beckoning him further into the confinement.

“I gave you the necessary information you’ll need to fix Emmanuel,” She answered, as if it was self-evident, which clearly it was not. “You now know more about him than any other assistant who’s worked for him, and surely you’ll use it with consideration.”

At that point Justin was thoroughly exhausted with her persistent attempts at making him an object for her own absurd goal. Whether he believed her or not, he’d continue to oppose the plan she was describing, and he wanted no part in manipulating Emmanuel. He already felt that he’d invaded his superior’s privacy by receiving the personal information she’d given to him.

“You keep saying I should fix him,” Justin sighed, wondering how long she’d persist in that fixation. “But that’s not how people change, or improve. If he needs fixing then it’s going to be himself who does the fixing.”

“But-” She interjected, seemingly about to go off on a whole new tangent about how this was the right approach.

“You should head home now,” Justin cut her off, though with a softer tone, as if it was a plea. “I’ll think about what you said, but in return you have to consider what I said as well. Are you okay with the commute home now that it’s become dark out?”

For a moment it appeared she was about to protest the ending of their discussion, but then she sighed, and pulled up her phone. Justin wasn’t sure what she was about to do, but from everything he’d witnessed from her that day, he couldn’t help but develop new worries, and make up scenarios in his head.

“I’m calling a cab,” She said, apparently having noticed Justin’s uneasiness with the call she was about to make. “Don’t look so frightened, it’s annoying.”

Justin chuckled slightly. At least she seemed to be resuming her usual cold attitude, which somehow, Justin thought reassuring. It was certainly preferable to the delusional, antsy behavior she’d displayed just moments prior. It was a sudden shift, and Justin wondered if it had anything to do with the subject matter, though he didn’t have the energy to consider it any further.

“I take it you’re supposed to stay late today?” She asked, having just ended the call, and was now putting her red coat back on. “Or did we both stay overtime?”

While he wouldn’t have been particularly bothered with staying late, the things they had discussed were something he would have rather been without. She probably considered it a waste as well, mostly due to the fact that she’d failed to convince him, and that entrusting him with Emmanuel’s past had been in vain.

“I’ll be staying late,” Justin nodded, already feeling the events of the day having tired him out extensively. “But I’m sorry you had to spend your free time on…” He trailed off, not exactly sure of what to characterize it as, and Lauren merely shrugged.

***

Letting his gaze falter only a brief second, Justin observed Emmanuel’s features through the cloudy barrier of his sleepiness. He became increasingly skeptical of the story he’d been told, and more so when his eyes fell upon Emmanuel. Although the thought of his superior in a dress was highly amusing, Justin had to be realistic. In addition, if any of what he’d been informed was reliable, then he had to be careful, since that would indicate a level of trauma he wasn’t equipped to deal with, 

“What are you staring at?” Emmanuel asked, more out of irritation than actual curiosity. “I can’t focus with your eyes hovering over me.”

Justin felt momentarily guilty, then considered that Lauren was the reason why he couldn’t force his gaze to obey the intent of his mind. He had to work, and it was a rare occurrence that Emmanuel would let him do that in his office. He’d sat down on the couch like last time, however he’d slowly become unfocused, as he’d recalled the events prior to his current obligation. 

“Sorry,” Justin sighed, wanting to expand on the statement but simply too distracted to do so.

Emmanuel didn’t particularly react, but what had he expected having Justin in close proximity? He redirected his attention to the paperwork that had previously consumed him, selectively ignoring the fidgety nature Justin was displaying.

“How well do you know Clara?” Justin asked, treading on risky territory, with the new information he’d gained. “It’s just that the two of you seem close. Like you’ve known each other for a long time. A very long time.”

If Emmanuel hadn’t caught on to what Justin was inferring just by the fractured sentences, then surely the avoidant pattern of speech would give him a hint. Perhaps Justin was fortunate that on this particular evening, Emmanuel was intent on letting Justin’s words slip right past his range of attention. Though of course, he was the one who’d invited Justin to do his assignments inside the office, mainly because he’d become irked by the troubled stare that Justin was flashing him from outside the glass barrier.

“Sure,” Emmanuel finally answered, not bothering to lift his gaze from the paperwork, even as Justin perked up when he replied. “She’s worked here a long time. That is, if we’re thinking of the same Clara. I assume it’s the blond one you’re referring to.”

Justin sighed, realizing that Emmanuel was subtly evading the questions, thereby not giving him any useful material to go off of. It was possible that Lauren had fed him a false retelling of Emmanuel’s past and therefore his response lacked substance. Even so, his question had touched on the lie of her name, and he was certain Emmanuel was aware of that lie himself.

“Right,” Justin merely said, although his instinct was to continue the questioning, but he refrained from doing so, in case it started to resemble an interrogation. “But,” He kept going despite his efforts not to. “You must have known her from before you hired her. It’s like you’ve known her since childhood or something.”

That assumption seemed to peak Emmanuel’s concentration, and his eyes were now raised to meet Justin’s cautious expression. He tilted his head slightly, in a gesture Justin found to be somewhat twisted. The atmosphere had suddenly shifted entirely, and the heavy downfall outside wasn’t doing anything to dampen the newly arisen tension. 

Finally Emmanuel’s castigating glare relented and he lowered it to his paperwork once again. Justin sat unmoving with a tremor threatening to rush through him, though the tension seemed to have broken. He opened his mouth to speak, not sure of what words would be spoken once he started, but sure that he’d have to say something.

“Justin, get out,” Emmanuel said, with a tone that offered no trace of emotion, only indifference.

It wasn’t the first time he’d uttered that order - far from it - yet Justin was still completely stunned. He should have expected that reaction from Emmanuel, considering the displeasure he’d displayed when being questioned, and how Justin had hindered him in focusing on his work. Nevertheless, he was tired of being told to get out, which at that point had gotten repetitive.

“You didn’t answer the question,” Justin objected, not bothering to suppress a slightly hostile tone, but knowing that it would provoke Emmanuel immeasurably.

And just as anticipated; Emmanuel redirected his attention from the paper to Justin immediately, sparing no second narrowing his eyes. Just like the last time Justin had neglected to follow a simple order, Emmanuel’s expression reflected a perception that Justin couldn’t possibly have the audacity to disobey. It was the type of arrogance he saw no point in quelling, even under these circumstances.

“You look tired Justin,” He said with a tone of mock sympathy, accompanied by a shallow look of concern. “You should go home.”

The fact that Emmanuel was being patronizing towards him only served to agitate Justin further, and that sense would continue to linger. He wasn’t sure if any attempt at getting closer to Emmanuel, or learning the truth would be idle, taking into account that so far it had only caused discord. He didn’t have much of an incentive to stay and be gaslighted, or potentially lied to, or manipulated.

“Sure,” Justin simply answered, clenching his jaw in response to the condescension. “Then I hope you have a lovely evening.”

The remark was sarcastic, and they both recognized that. After all, they would be departing on an especially tense note, even though they’d been on relatively good terms just earlier. In fact, when he’d driven Emmanuel to the meeting, Justin had mistakenly thought their relationship had advanced, although this was not the case. He turned to the door and for a brief second contemplated whether or not to start an argument. He decided against it, knowing that the most likely outcome would result in a firing, something he considered undesirable. Perhaps he just needed sleep, and to process Lauren’s words. Soon he’d left the office, figuring all progress would be lost, if it hadn’t been already.

***

Se-Jin took a sip of her coffee, ignoring Justin’s intense gaze. She was leaning against the back of the elevator, arms crossed casually, rather than intimidatingly as was her usual nature. Justin stood next to her, somewhat fidgety, as if wanting to say something, which coincidentally he did. 

“Either spit it out, or stop staring,” She propositioned, finally having had enough of Justin’s hesitance. “Emmanuel may tolerate that bad habit of yours, but this is my first cup of coffee today so I’m not caffeinated enough for patience.”

She didn’t seem particularly irritated, but seemingly lacking her usual wit and energy, whether due to the insufficient amount of coffee or not. Justin knew he had a habit of letting his gaze linger too long, but this socially awkward trait was almost entirely reserved for Emmanuel who kept an unbothered attitude towards it - except, evidently, for the night before. Se-Jin however, wasn’t pleased, which was understandable.

“Clara mentioned you’d told her that I’m influencing Emmanuel,” Justin started, narrowly avoiding calling Clara by her real name, as his instinct urged him to do. “In what way am I supposedly influencing him? Because as far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t appear any different to me.”

Se-Jin shot him a cautious glare, though it softened gradually as she evaluated Justin’s question. Presumably, giving him an honest answer wouldn’t impact her, nor Emmanuel negatively. She sighed, taking another sip of her coffee, then downing the entirety as Justin looked on with a look of surprise.

“You made him take the elevator didn’t you,” She pointed out, to which he nodded rather skeptically, recalling the results. “I’ve been trying to encourage him to do that for years, while Clara thought it was safer to avoid it. Then he quit PT, something that’s been going on for years as well. He’s making changes, and I think it’s because of you.”

Before Justin had a chance to respond, they were at the top floor, and the elevator doors opened. Se-Jin had left as if their conversation had ended then and there, despite Justin’s expression that was clearly trying to elicit additional information. Justin followed her out with urgent steps, eager to ask more questions that he himself was unable to answer. When he caught up to her though, she was unmoving in front of the glass barrier of Emmanuel’s office. 

Justin redirected his attention to the commotion behind the barrier, catching sight of Emmanuel impulsively throwing an ashtray against the window, smashing it, and causing ash to flutter all around the office. Emmanuel’s expression didn’t reflect any agitation relating to the mess he’d just caused, seemingly distracted with something Justin couldn’t quite make out.

“Justin, go to the breakroom,” Se-Jin ordered, not bothering to look at him as she spoke. “Stay there until I tell you you can return to your desk.”

Justin didn’t immediately react, sensing a severe worry creeping up on the both of them, while not being entirely familiar with Se-Jin’s emotions, specifically in relation to Emmanuel’s sudden irrational behavior. He wanted to approach his superior in whatever way possible, though he’d been ordered to leave the scene. It was an obvious attempt to have him dispelled from interfering, and potentially worsen the situation.

“Alright then,” Justin answered, forcing himself to turn away, although he was excruciatingly curious about Emmanuel, and the cause of his erratic behavior.

He made his way down the hallway, trying to pay attention solely to the task he’d been given; going to the breakroom, and staying there. When he entered the room, Lauren was rocking back and forth as if in a trance, right up until she noticed Justin standing restlessly at the entrance. Her eyes widened, and she jumped up from her chair before he could even speak a word.

“You went to the press?” She nearly screamed, getting dangerously close with her frantic tremor. “How can you even show your face after doing such a thing. I told you all that private information just so that you could go and spill it all to the tabloids?”

Justin was barely following, let alone able to provide a proper response. What she’d said gave him the impression that whatever she’d told him the night before had somehow been leaked to the press. He knew for a fact that he hadn’t told anyone, or repeated the words to anyone, so how had it gotten out?

“I didn’t,” He calmly explained, trying not to provoke even more of a commotion. “Is that why Emmanuel is…” He paused, having trouble describing Emmanuel’s current state. “So upset?”

She narrowed her eyes with an expression that suggested she was less than pleased with Justin’s question, then turned to the counter in a swift movement, grabbing something and handing it to Justin. A blond strand of hair swerved in front of her lips with every quick breath she took, until she brushed her hair back, momentarily making it seem her bangs had disappeared. Justin looked at the magazine she’d handed him, and his eyes were met with a front page that even his imagination wasn’t able to produce. 

“Is that…?” He mumbled, already distracted by the headline. “Then you must know it wasn’t me who leaked this. I don’t have this kind of picture available to me. Where would I have even gotten this?”

The front page image was a family photo of the Macrons, in which Emmanuel was seated in front of his parents, wearing a white lace dress decorated by a bow. The image was black and white, making it difficult for Justin to discern the color of the bow, although the dress and bow in itself indicated femininity. He had a feeling this femininity was a weak spot for Emmanuel.

“How would I know?” Lauren answered, more confused than anything, seeing as she didn’t have a clue in regards to her own suspicion. “I told you about Emmanuel’s past, and the first thing on the front page this morning is the things that I let you know? Is that supposed to be a coincidence?”

Justin wasn’t sure how to answer. Indeed, it was a stroke of misfortune on his behalf, but were he to explain this then it would only encourage more suspicion. While he wasn’t the culprit, he recognized how bad the timing was, and how much guilt could perceivably be attributed to him just by a superficial glance at the circumstances. 

“How do I know you weren’t the one that leaked this?” Justin asked, suddenly struck with paranoia, although they were supposedly in the same boat with a substantial amount to lose. “You’ve known Emmanuel and Se-Jin since childhood, and even made sacrifices for them, yet they still denigrate you by calling you Clara. A name that isn’t yours. You’re still occupying the position of a subordinate, so is it not reasonable for you to harbor malice?”

It wasn’t especially unlikely that Lauren had given the information to Justin, in order to pass on blame. Who was the outsider after all? She took a step back, with the kind of haste that would typically resemble fright, hair reclaiming its pattern nearly in front of her eyes. She took a deep breath, and for a moment Justin wondered if she was questioning her own innocence, which in itself would be bizarre. 

“You think I’d do something like this?” She asked bitterly, displaying an unnatural attitude towards him, akin to psychotic. “You think you know everything, but you don’t. Even so you still managed to ruin everything.”

Justin shook his head, having exhausted his ability to either convince her or divert her efforts to hold him responsible. They both turned their head in a reactionary move, picking up on the sound of a door being slammed forcefully. They once again looked at each other, this time with all blame erased from their intent, and only directed at discovering the cause of the disturbance. Within a few seconds Se-Jin entered the breakroom, the pace and weight of her steps reflecting frustration to say the least. Her eyes met Lauren’s, and Justin shuddered when the blond woman recoiled. It was obvious what was about to occur.

“What the fuck did you do?” Se-Jin snarled, calmly approaching Lauren, though with clenched fists. “You’re pushing your luck, just like you did all those years ago. Are you expecting me to be forgiving?”

Lauren shot a desperate glance at Justin, as if pleading for him to confess, however much Justin was reluctant to do so. He turned his head, trying to diffuse what little tension was resting upon him, simultaneously neglecting to return Lauren’s gaze. Se-Jin was almost chest-to-chest with her at that point, gritted teeth and fist ready. Justin sincerely doubted that the fist would be raised, but even the threat was an indication of irreparable damage in regards to the relationship between the two of them. 

“I’ve been nothing but an asset to you and Emmanuel,” Lauren retaliated, her voice solid and equaling the level of intimidation Se-Jin was displaying. “You’re doubting the wrong person. You-” She paused, cutting herself off and instead gave a slight nod towards Justin. “Don’t forget your own obligations.”

Justin had no clue what the last part was supposed to mean, nor what implications it had for Se-Jin. He did know for a fact though, based solely on Se-Jin’s shift in attention, that he had assumed the role of scapegoat. She took several nonchalant steps in his direction, until her flats went to a halt in front of him. The uncovered eye fixated on the startled expression Justin carried, and once she was satisfied with the sense of angst she’d provoked, she made a request, sounding more like an order.

“Can you fix this?” She said, with words more benign than Justin had anticipated, and so he nodded obediently. “Then go.”

Her last remark was firm, and Lauren appeared as if she was releasing an agonizing breath, as her chest yielded the raised position. Justin went straight for the door, recognizing that he’d been asked indirectly to manage Emmanuel’s seemingly erratic behavior. While he’d been eager to do so prior to having found out the cause of the situation; he was now on edge wondering if Emmanuel had any knowledge of his or Lauren’s involvement. Though neither of them had intentionally had anything to do with the information being leaked, Justin couldn’t deny the timing and circumstances were unfortunate, not to mention suspicious. 

“Can’t get much worse…” He mumbled to himself, straightening his back as he walked down the hallway. “For fucks sake.”

He approached the glass door, glancing back at his desk to where a yellow pencil lay in a tray, wondering how a simple dress code could amount to so many complications. Behind the glass Emmanuel was leaning over the desk, eyes intently scanning a magazine Justin could only imagine was the one featuring the article about him. He slowly opened the door, trying to cause the least amount of sound, yet Emmanuel instantly turned his head. 

“Get out,” He said, quietly at first, appearing too absorbed in the pages of the magazine. 

Justin stood still at the door, hesitantly stepping further inside, until once again he’d caught Emmanuel’s gaze, every movement being scrutinized. He stopped at Emmanuel’s side, parting his lips to speak, but realizing he had nothing prepared. Instead he simply shifted his focus to the magazine, then Emmanuel’s completely neutral expression.

“This could’ve been a lot worse,” He tried, knowing his words wouldn’t be particularly comforting, and that he had told himself the complete opposite just moments before entering the office. 

And sure enough Emmanuel merely scoffed, reaching across the surface of the desk, and swiping a half empty bottle with clear fluid inside. Justin had no clue as to the type of liquid the bottle contained, but he could only assume it was one with a high volume. Emmanuel drank directly from the bottle, although the empty glass next to the magazine suggested that he’d previously poured it in there instead. Now, however, the glass had lost its utility as it appeared Emmanuel intended to down more than it could hold. 

Justin stood there observing the contents of the bottle being recklessly consumed, until finally all of it was gone, and Emmanuel lowered it. Everything was quiet for a brief moment, and Justin hoped it was a sign that the alcohol had helped to dampen Emmanuel’s keyed up senses. This wasn’t the case though, and Emmanuel turned swiftly, throwing the bottle across the office, watching it shatter against the window, while Justin flinched at the impact. 

“How, Justin?” He asked, tone frustrated. “How could it possibly have been worse, and how does that change anything that’s already happened?”

The splintered glass rained down, gathering in a pile on top of the shattered ashtray, and some of it skittering across the floor. Emmanuel had a point. Justin wasn’t sure how exactly events could have been more negative, nor how it would have any relevance for the matter when what had happened was already inconvenient enough on its own. Having seen the treatment of the bottle, he had a strong inclination to come up with something regardless. And then he realized;

“The closet,” He nearly burst out, catching Emmanuel’s glare immediately. “The article never mentioned the part about the closet, just the dresses and other irrelevant information about your childhood. I’ve read it too, and I’m completely sure. They mention the car crash, and your parents adopting Se-Jin, but there’s nothing about her eye, or the arranged marriage.”

Justin heaved a sigh of relief, thinking he’d managed to keep the rest of the glass in the office unscathed. Emmanuel looked at him, carrying no hint of emotion on his features, then tilting his head to the side, simultaneously disposing of the sense of relief Justin had just gained. He took a step forward, until Justin caught the strong scent of alcohol which mixed almost pleasantly with Emmanuel’s usual scent - although Justin didn’t consider it the right time to say that out loud.

“How did you know about that?” Emmanuel asked, once again applying his ability to stare Justin down - despite being shorter - to intimidate him. “I never told you any of that…”

Justin’s eyes widened as his own mistake occurred to him, along with the fact that things most certainly hadn’t improved since he’d stepped inside the office - quite the opposite. He slowly shook his head, as to signal that whatever Emmanuel was assuming couldn’t be true. Indeed, they both knew how his surplus of private information concerning Emmanuel’s childhood made him look.

“You did this…” Emmanuel mumbled, grinning in an unsettling manner that stunned Justin completely. “You went to the press yesterday after I’d told you to go home. You were clearly upset with me and this is what you considered to be an appropriate retaliation? Humiliating me, and potentially putting my social standing at risk, but sparing some details and suddenly thinking it gives you the right to show up here again?”

Justin took a step back, mind flashing with excuses and someone or something else to blame. He had to deflect the responsibility somehow, though the task seemed almost useless, as he wasn’t willing to throw Lauren under the bus, the way she’d done to him. He also had to take into account that Emmanuel was intoxicated, to an extent Justin couldn’t be sure of. He knew that Emmanuel occasionally had a drink with Se-Jin, and that they tended to prefer hard liquor, presumably like the contents of the bottle that now lay shattered. Even if Emmanuel had a profoundly high tolerance, the amount he’d consumed in such a short period of time would likely have some severe ramifications.

“I would never do something like that,” Justin disputed, uncertain if Emmanuel would even remember their conversation once sober again. “Where would I have even gotten that picture, or the connections it would take to have an article like that on the front page with such short notice? It just doesn’t make any sense.”

Even Emmanuel in his intoxicated state had competence enough to acknowledge Justin’s point, and he simply turned to walk around the desk. Justin tried to reach out when he staggered, but he pulled away, clearly not wanting the assistance. He sat down on the chair, slumping over the desk, while Justin watched silently.

“Get out,” Emmanuel repeated, and this time there was no room for Justin to decline the order. 

“I will,” Justin answered, hesitating slightly as he felt uncomfortable with leaving his superior in the severely intoxicated state he was undoubtedly in. “Should I get Se-Jin for you?” He asked, intending to get her either way, but taking Emmanuel’s lack of response as a sign for him to stop engaging. “Right.”

He left the office, closing the door carefully behind him, then making his way back to the breakroom where only Lauren had remained. Se-Jin wasn’t there, and he contemplated looking around for her, however figuring that Emmanuel would be relatively safe if he continued to sit still on the chair. He sat down across from Lauren, and briefly wondered whether he was still obligated to call her Clara, until he was snapped out of his thoughts.

“Where did you get the picture?” Lauren asked, assertive as her usual self, but wrong in her assumption of his guilt. “Emmanuel made sure every picture in that house was burned, and there’s no way someone like you could’ve obtained it. So how? Who gave it to you?”

Justin took a deep breath, as to rid himself of the irritation that steadily rose, then made eye contact with her. He didn’t understand how she still suspected him, when she herself had said there was no possibility of him having obtained it. If she knew that, then why was she still questioning him. He knew he was running out of arguments that could deflect her suspicion, and that soon he might face a firing as a result.

“We both know it wasn’t me,” He insisted once again, holding her gaze with a look of sincerity. “Think about it. A front page story like this had to have been prepared at least several days in advance, and I only found out yesterday evening. It couldn’t have been me, and you know that.”

“Then who?” She instantly responded, voice flaring with desperation, which Justin could only assume was due to the blame that would then naturally fall on her if Justin wasn’t the one who’d leaked the information. “There’s simply no one who’d know these things, and have an incentive to release it. I’m not taking the fall for this, so for your sake I hope you find the fucking snitch.”

Justin frowned, supposing that she’d find a way to throw him under the bus again, regardless of the truth of the matter. The ideal solution was to find the source and get both he and Lauren out of the mess they were currently finding themselves in. He stood up from the table, back to his original task of finding Se-Jin, despite not knowing her whereabouts. 

***

The rain was light, and almost like a cold dust filling the air. Se-Jin took a final drag at her cigarette, before letting it slip through her fingers and fall onto the ground, where she put it out by crushing it under her shoe. She ended the call on her phone with a quick tap on the screen, then retrieved it to her back pocket.

“Am I disturbing something important?” Justin asked, approaching Se-Jin on the rooftop where she’d gone to make a call in private. “Or were you heading back down?”

Se-Jin raised an eyebrow, as if she hadn’t expected him to find her in the unconventional location, given that the rain and cold made the roof an inconvenient place to be. She’d managed to find some cover, making it possible for her to smoke, and avoid the rain, so she sighed before beckoning Justin over. 

“I just called our lawyers to file a defamation lawsuit. We can stay here a few minutes,” She answered, pulling up her pack of cigarettes, and offering it to him. “Do you smoke?”

Justin shook his head, politely declining the offer, though appreciating the subtle gesture, and taking it as a sign of fellowship of sorts. She wasn’t the type to share, and especially not had they been on bad terms. He supposed that Se-Jin had her doubts about Justin’s involvement in the leaking of the information, or that she blamed Lauren entirely for telling Justin in the first place.

“You should know that neither I, nor Lauren went to the press,” He started, then realized he was getting sidetracked, having more urgent matters to discuss with her. “Emmanuel isn’t exactly doing so well,” He went on, though Se-Jin appeared to consider his words self-evident. “Last I saw him he was drinking heavily, and breaking things. He couldn’t walk straight.”

Her features twisted into a frown, and Justin unconsciously took a step back. Whatever he’d said to cause such a reaction, he surely regretted it now. He didn’t know how to ease the tension that had quickly arisen, or whether it was even an option, seeing as she presumably had no intention of letting him off.

“I thought I asked you if you could fix it, and you nodded,” She growled, closing the gap Justin had created when stepping back. “Keep proving yourself useless and I’ll fire you myself.” She threatened, and pulled her phone back up. “Look after him from your desk. I’m calling someone else to clean this up.”

Justin knew better than to talk back, and so he simply gave a firm nod, turning around and heading downstairs again. It wasn’t the outcome he’d hoped for - far from it - but at least he’d alerted Se-Jin, who would now try to mend the situation that Justin had failed to take care of.

***

Behind the glass barrier Emmanuel was slumped over the desk, the exact way Justin had left him. It didn’t appear as if he’d moved or interfered with anything in the office, although Justin couldn’t be entirely sure, since he hadn’t been at his desk. On the contrary, it wasn’t necessarily a relief that Emmanuel hadn’t moved a muscle, taking into account that it could indicate unconsciousness or alcohol poisoning. And as soon as that scenario had crossed Justin’s mind, an overwhelming sense of worry passed through him as well. 

His instinct was to immediately check up on Emmanuel’s condition, but then he remembered having been explicitly told not to enter the office nor touch Emmanuel without permission. This could be an emergency however, so perhaps he was absolved of the rules, just this once.

“What are you plotting?” Lauren asked, standing right behind him as he flinched. “I’m kidding, don’t look so startled.”

Justin sighed, narrowly avoiding a stroke. He turned to her, wondering why the sound of her heels had escaped him, until his gaze dropped to her bare feet. He raised an eyebrow when he caught sight of the blue nail polish, contemplating if it violated the color coding. She raised her index finger to her lips with a wink, gesturing for him to keep it a secret, to which he nodded.

“I can tell you’re worried,” She said, as they both directed their attention to the office. “I checked on him a few minutes ago, and he’ll be fine for now. I’m not sure when, or how he’ll get home, but he can’t stay at the desk all night. Alcohol lowers the core temperature of the body, and he’ll also get dehydrated at some point. It’ll take quite a while for him to detox, and he likely won’t accept help in any regard, which could become a pretty serious issue. I think for now, all we can do is just monitor his condition, and keep an eye on him.”

Emmanuel wasn’t the type to do something so reckless, not to mention absolutely shortsighted. It almost seemed as if he hadn’t considered the consequences, or hadn’t taken said consequences seriously - something also very unlike him. Justin would have to assume the article had caused a severe impairment of his judgement, and the alcohol certainly hadn’t helped. Even worse, the circumstances would not have changed once he came back to his senses.

“I suppose that’s why you’re not wearing any shoes,” Justin answered, taking another glance at the blue nail polish that decorated her nails. “So that you wouldn’t make too much noise when you entered the office, even though he’s blacked out. In any case, I talked to Se-Jin, and tried to explain that we didn’t have anything to do with the information being leaked. She wasn’t in a good mood, and she said she’d call someone to ‘clean up’ the mess.”

Lauren’s eyes widened slightly, and she looked up at him with an unnerved expression. She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by the sound of the elevator opening. Justin wasn’t sure who it was, or why Lauren reacted so strongly to the footsteps that approached them. A man he didn’t recognize walked past them, giving a subtle nod to her, and ignoring Justin’s presence entirely. 

“Who is that…” He mumbled, following the stranger with his eyes.

From what Justin could tell, the man was handsome, and not much older than himself. Though the grey streaks in his hair were fairly noticeable, it somehow made him appear more intimidating, and Justin couldn’t deny that it suited him. He was wearing an immaculate dark coat that couldn’t possibly have been cheap, and beneath it Justin guessed the stranger was wearing a suit.

“PT,” Lauren answered, crossing her arms resolutely, and narrowing her eyes at the man. “His name is Pedro Sanchez. I take it that’s the answer you were looking for.”

They looked on as Pedro entered the office, and Justin noted that he hadn’t knocked nor asked for permission before walking right in. That detail only bothered Justin for a second however, because soon Pedro lay a hand on Emmanuel’s back, breaking yet another rule. 

Justin was about to step in, but before he could even move, Lauren had taken his wrist to keep him in place. Pedro knelt next to the chair, and after a few words Justin wasn’t able to discern, he wrapped Emmanuel’s arm around his neck, and picked him up bridal-style.

“Don’t,” Lauren warned, sensing that Justin was about to interfere. “Se-Jin called him here for a reason. Emmanuel trusts her judgement, and so should you.”

While Justin couldn’t stand to see a stranger being allowed everything he was usually denied, he had to acknowledge that Emmanuel needed the assistance, and that he wasn’t able to provide it himself. So he stood still, as Pedro carried Emmanuel to the couch and carefully laid him down on the cushions, then taking off his coat and placing it as a blanket over Emmanuel. Justin took a deep breath, thankful that the worst had passed, and yet no less than a second later Pedro went back to the desk, pressing the button underneath. All the blinds dropped simultaneously, crushing the relief Justin had finally regained, and veiling the scene behind the glass.

“How did he know about the blinds?!” Justin asked, frantically trying to escape her grasp and discovering that she was surprisingly strong. “You’re going to let him-”

“Justin, whatever you think he might do, I can assure you, you’re wrong,” She hissed, taking hold of his other wrist as well to make him face her. “This isn’t something unusual for them. Emmanuel breaks things off when he’s found someone to use as a replacement, and once something goes wrong… this is how it ends up. Trust me, none of us would like things to be this way, and every time Pedro leaves, I pray I never have to see him again. They’ve known each other since childhood, and they’re equally twisted, which is why they naturally gravitate towards each other.”

Justin stopped resisting, and became completely still. His eyes became blank as the meaning of her words flooded his conscience, and his mind started to clutter with thoughts and worries. So was he simply a replacement? If Lauren’s statement had any credibility, Justin’s relationship to Emmanuel, as well as employment was at stake. And to make matters worse, he had no authority to disrupt the current course. He lingered at that uncertainty, wishing for the premise of loss to never arrive. 

“Right,” He simply shrugged, seeing no other gesture that would signal for her to take over, in all its simplicity. “What do I know anyway…”

She looked away for a brief second, before tugging at his sleeve to trigger his instincts and make him walk beside her, intertwining arms. They made their way to the break room, and Justin could’ve sworn the place made him nauseas at that point. Only negative circumstances were connected to this space, and the sight of the rigid chairs didn’t serve to bring him any reassurance. 

“When is he leaving?” Justin asked, eager to know when the stranger would depart, and when he’d be able to see Emmanuel again. “Is he even leaving?”

Lauren chuckled as if his question had been a flicker of satire, while preparing coffee for the both of them. Justin figured they’d both be staying overtime, and that the caffeine therefore would be a benefit. He sat down on the chair he usually favored, though the other chairs happened to be unoccupied as well. There was comfort in routine. However, he still couldn’t rid himself of the worries relating to the presence of an unknown person watching over Emmanuel.

“I’ve been in your position,” She said, presumably trying to comfort him, whether out of sympathy or convenience. “If you think it’ll pass soon, then you’re in for a surprise.” She mentioned, filling the second mug. “As I said; we’re in the same boat, you and I. Even if that fucking sucks.”

She gritted her teeth, and though it wasn’t in Justin’s line of sight, he heard the unnerving sound. He had thought the distress was in his court, but whenever he observed Lauren she seemed to be considerably affected by the situation, indicating experience on her part. If Pedro had known Emmanuel since childhood, then that would mean Lauren had as well, and that they’d probably made each other’s acquaintance already.

“What’ll happen from now on?” Justin asked, making the last attempt at seeking reassurance he most likely would not receive. “Will I be fired?”

Lauren picked up both mugs, placing them on the table, then taking a seat herself. The caffeinated liquid steamed, causing a warm scent, and it nearly calmed Justin to the point of regular function. No more than a second after the pleasant aroma of coffee, the recollection of blinds shutting invaded his conscience as it had previously that evening.

“It differs,” She sighed, having experience with the course of circumstances Justin was seeking information about. “If he gained substantial pleasure from your company, and if you did your job fairly well, then no.”

That was all the details she was able to provide, and even so, Justin was still experiencing a craving for further information, that likely wouldn’t be fulfilled. So he leaned back into the chair, although his spine protested the hardened surface. His sight was not the only sense going blank.

“I’m not letting go.” 


	5. Confined

Quiet steps grazed the tiles, leaving only invisible prints to stick onto the surface as the carrier disappeared from the location. Lauren laid a careful hand on the door handle, pulling the door open with the kind of caution that took considerable patience. Once she’d entered the darkened space, she scanned the area, catching only an unconscious figure laying on the cushions of the black leather sofa, and a person sitting upright in the opposite one. 

“Why are you still here?” She asked, hostility lacing her voice though she knew he’d be able to pick up on her words. “You’re not needed at this point. Please leave.” She continued to growl.

His presence was contributing fuel to the rashest of her impulses; that Justin was asleep in the room down the hall, and available if needed. There was no pressing urge to wake him in that moment, however she felt more assertive with the reinforcements accessible to her. Justin was a certain asset, if she was in need of him.

“We’ve been through this before,” Pedro answered, closing the paper on his lap, but managing to stay soundless. “I’m the only antidote to whatever poison you’ve exposed him to this time.”

Lauren instinctively shivered at the sight of his signature expression. She wanted to throw him out, but she didn’t have the authority nor the strength to do so, needing Se-Jin’s word before she could make a decision. Her own words had no authority when taking into account her position.

“The ‘poison’ you’re referring to, ignoring the semantics, is called alcohol,” She shot back, though knowing perfectly well that he was making an anecdote. “He ingested it himself…” She sighed, almost reluctant to inform him of her inability to prevent Emmanuel from becoming intoxicated. “Can’t you just leave before he wakes up?”

She wasn’t comfortable having him around when Emmanuel wasn’t sober enough to approve of his presence. In addition, both he and Se-Jin could possibly regret the decision to call Pedro over, when all the spectacles had died down. If it had been up to her, the responsibility of Emmanuel’s physical condition would have been carried by herself, and perhaps Justin and Se-Jin as well.

“Obviously I can’t trust you with Emmanuel’s wellbeing,” Pedro scoffed, casting a glance at the figure under his coat, in tandem with Lauren. “It would be unfortunate if the past repeated itself.”

She bared her teeth at the mention of previous wrongdoings, and feuds, then cleared her throat. their relationship was tense and always had been, but the gradual worsening occurred with every incident that required Pedro’s assistance, and once again she was praying for his departure. Considering the record of events, and Emmanuel’s unpredictable relapses, she assumed it wouldn’t be the last time she’d witness the blinds dropping by Pedro’s hand.

“Quiet down,” Emmanuel cut in, carefully and rather clumsily sitting up in the sofa. “And don’t discuss me while in my presence,” He scolded, folding the coat, though the action seemed somewhat out of place.

Lauren lowered her head, relenting to her superior’s request, while Pedro leaned forward in the sofa, examining Emmanuel’s pupils for any abnormalities. Lauren was about to reprimand him for treating Emmanuel as an invalid, but Pedro was already averting his eyes when the glare he received was anything but forgiving. 

“Where’s Justin?” Emmanuel asked, pinching the bridge of his nose when the hangover made itself apparent. “He was here earlier today. Did you send him home?”

Lauren perked up in response to his question, assuming the first thought on his mind had been Justin, and that his memory had not been entirely lost due to the clouding of liquor. Nevertheless, he appeared to be at his senses to the extent that he was able to evaluate the situation, and reliably make a call of judgement regarding Pedro and Justin. She attained a new attitude of ascendancy, bearing in mind Emmanuel’s intent, that appeared to favor her own.

“He’s somewhere in the building,” She said, fixing a stern expression at Pedro, then transitioning her expression into an amiable one when facing Emmanuel. “I suppose there’s no need for him to stay.” She smiled, nodding at Pedro, and assuming Emmanuel would confirm this guess.

“PT next week,” Emmanuel said, hinting at a later appointment with Pedro, and subsequently causing significant distress on Lauren’s part. “For now I won’t need anything, but I appreciate the time you’ve spent here, looking after me and such.”

Pedro gave him a formal nod, receiving his folded coat and standing up though his path was blocked by Lauren who maintained a scowl, lingering as he stepped past her, and finally exited the office. He didn’t look back, having gotten confirmation from Emmanuel regarding their next appointment, though Lauren kept a strict view of him, only subsiding once he’d gotten on the elevator. 

“I’m heading… wherever Justin is,” Emmanuel mumbled, seemingly requesting his subordinate’s location. “I suppose an apology is in order.”

Lauren chuckled slightly, guessing that he’d either done something regrettable, or that Justin had expressed a substantial amount of concern. It seemed equivalent to an archaic memory, she’d nearly forgotten Emmanuel had imprinted in her conscience. The nostalgia was almost comforting, consuming her current state of mind.

“I assume he’s still asleep where I left him, in the breakroom,” She told him, though she was fairly certain Emmanuel would’ve guessed as much by then. “I wouldn’t wake him up, but I suppose that decision is up to you.”

Emmanuel nodded somewhat hesitantly, as if he’d only then registered that Justin indeed was still there despite the circumstances, and that 6 am. was creeping up on their exhausted beings, with a new work day in tow. In addition to that, none of the events that had caused this incomprehensible mess had been erased, and the loose ends were yet to be tied. The article was an obvious obstacle, and although Emmanuel considered it an urgent matter, his first task would be repairing the damage inflicted on his relationship to Justin. That - and getting something for the pounding headache caused by the hangover. 

“I need Xanax, and if you could find Se-Jin then that would also be great,” He said, giving Lauren instructions on what she’d be doing while he went to see Justin. 

She nodded, signaling that she understood, and with that Emmanuel was off to deal with his own objective.

***

Emmanuel braced himself before entering the breakroom, knowing fully well that if he decided to wake Justin up, he would be more likely to be irritated and unapproachable. However, Justin being awake in advance meant that Emmanuel would have no chance to assess the situation once entering it. Needles to say, there simply was no way around it.

He entered the breakroom, stepping lightly, as to not wake up Justin. To his surprise Justin had managed to drift off, despite the empty cup of coffee, and the lights glowing bright. Emmanuel sat down at the table, across from him, observing the figure sound asleep in front of him. He had no intention of disturbing the sleep that so deeply consumed Justin in that moment since clearly the energy was much needed.

Although he’d decided to sit quietly and keep a careful eye on his subordinate, there was a low rustling as Justin lifted his head tiredly, his senses picking up on Emmanuel’s presence. His eyes widened slightly, and a stunned expression appeared on his face, as if he was expecting it to merely be his imagination playing a trick on his recently awakened mind.

“How did you-” Justin stumbled over his words, getting tangled up in all the questions he could possibly have formed in the short span of time he’d been aware of Emmanuel’s presence. “Do you remember anything? How are you sober already?”

Emmanuel smiled sheepishly, finding it understandable how Justin had an unending row of questions to accompany the worries that had also sprung up. Even he was surprised at the level of function he’d been able to regain after the amounts of alcohol he’d consumed. The vodka hadn’t left his system without consequences however, considering the severe headache, tremor and nauseousness. 

“I have a high tolerance,” Emmanuel explained, though Justin appeared skeptical. “And I can’t guarantee I’m entirely sober. Whether or not I am, I do have most of my memory intact, surprising as that may sound.”

He was aware that he was procrastinating, and as much as his pride was reluctant to let him apologize, it was inevitable. He sighed, mentally preparing himself, which was a task he should’ve done already. It was unlike him to be hesitant to that degree, yet he rarely had to express remorse in front of a subordinate. 

“I want you to know that I regret the behavior I displayed in your presence earlier,” He began, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible. “I didn’t intend to startle you, or act inappropriately. I understand if you decide to resign or go to HR to report a hostile work environment.” 

Justin looked somewhat taken aback by Emmanuel’s supposed shift in attitude, recalling the searing sound of glass splintering against the window, and the staggering steps Emmanuel had taken in his drunken state. He was perplexed by the radical influence a substance like alcohol had on the personality of a person. It was almost incomprehensible how alcohol could corrupt common decency. 

“I’m not going to report anything,” Justin reassured him, rubbing his sleepy eyes with a yawn. “Look,” He continued, this time appearing almost entirely awake. “ That article… I’m sorry it was published, but I had nothing to do with it, and neither did Lauren-”

Emmanuel picked up on the misstep Justin had made, promptly cutting him off with the simple question; “Did you say Lauren?”

Justin immediately flinched realizing his mistake. He’d exposed both himself and Lauren due to the veil of exhaustion that still hovered over his conscience. He lowered his gaze as he attempted to stutter an explanation, but quieted himself until he was able to give a coherent answer.

“Yes, she told me everything,” Justin admitted, finally able to vocalize the excuse. “She didn’t intend anything malicious by it, and if you’re wondering; no I won’t tell anyone or go to the press.”

Emmanuel was well aware that Justin was reliable and truthful in his insurances, though he felt a nagging sense of warning, knowing that someone had breached his private information. He hadn’t wanted Justin to know these intimate details about his life, however he could understand that Lauren had given him a comprehensive account of his childhood.

“Don’t treat me differently,” Emmanuel sighed, asking something from Justin he wasn’t sure he could fulfill. “ You can call Clara Lauren if that’s what you want, but nothing besides that will change.”

His orders were clear, and though he was expecting Justin to object to the guidelines he’d provided, it was as far as he was able to go. There was no more ground to concede. Justin for his part had to settle for what Emmanuel had allowed him.

“If you want to talk about it…” Justin suggested, but he could tell that Emmanuel would’ve rather he didn’t know in the first place. “I don’t expect anything from you, but I hope you know that I’m not quitting.”

The statement had more than one reading, which made Emmanuel wary of the implications attached to each meaning. He felt as if he’d suddenly been pinned to Justin. He considered his words carefully, not wanting to engage in the subtle signals.

“Be that as it may,” He smiled, giving Justin a nod of approval. “I still hope there’s a way for me to make it up to you.”

Those words seemed to peak Justin’s attention, and he instantly brightened up in response. Emmanuel suppressed a chuckle, finding it adorable how he’d been the source of Justin’s childlike smile. He cleared his throat looking up with a calm expression, as he considered how he was going to mend the tear in their otherwise functional relationship.

“Why don’t we eat breakfast together in the cafeteria?” He suggested, observing Justin for confirmation, and once he’d gotten an enthusiastic nod, he continued. “On my terms however.”

Justin furrowed his brow, searching Emmanuel’s smirk for a clue as to what the statement was supposed to mean. He did have a slight inkling though, and Emmanuel was predictable to a certain extent. He was sure to expect the most boundary breaking his imagination could provide. 

“Of course,” He answered, though sensing he’d regret having given in to Emmanuel so easily. “But I’m going to need you to tell me what you have in mind.”

He figured the request was reasonable enough in all its simplicity, and that certainly his superior would agree. When he saw the intrigue in Emmanuel’s expression, he could tell that he’d won him over. It seemed they were off to a good start, at least in Justin’s opinion, and that undoubtedly things would become ordinary soon enough.

“Alright,” Emmanuel agreed, evaluating Justin’s appearance to determine whether they would be okay to join the other employees in the cafeteria. After all, they’d been up most of the night, and hadn’t had a chance to go home for a change of clothes or a shower. “That works fine. Once I’ve gotten some Xanax and spoken with Se-Jin, we’ll discuss this in my office, and then we should be good to go.”

Justin tried to hide his excitement, but still came off as an overjoyed puppy, which Emmanuel had to admit was a positive influence that helped to quell the bothersome aspects of his hangover. They both turned their heads when Se-Jin appeared in the doorframe, holding a bottle of painkillers, and looking much less uptight than Justin had seen her when they last spoke. 

Emmanuel stood up to approach her, and they merely stood in front of each other, carrying their own neutral expression, until Se-Jin cleared her throat. She put the painkillers on the counter next to them, and before Justin had a chance to register the situation, Se-Jin’s lip twisted into an embittered frown, as she smacked Emmanuel across the cheek. The movement was swift and despite the obvious force behind the slap, Emmanuel barely reacted. Justin could tell he’d been prepared for it, and that most likely this wasn’t the first time such a confrontation had occurred.

“I’ve set up a meeting with the lawyers,” She said, instantly back to her usual attitude, opening one of the cupboards, and taking a glass. “We’re filing a defamation lawsuit.”

Emmanuel hummed in approval, completely unfazed as he opened the bottle, pouring two pills into the palm of his hand, deciding it to be an appropriate dosage. Justin simply sat there stunned, unable to figure out if his mind was playing him yet another trick. There was no mistaking it however, and he wondered how long he’d have to be employed before instances like these would cease to surprise him. 

Se-Jin handed Emmanuel the glass of water, and he washed down the painkillers, before she took the empty glass and placed it in the dishwasher. Emmanuel gestured for Justin to follow him, and they headed for his office, while Se-Jin cleared the table and counters, putting the dishes beside the sink. She noticed red heels abandoned on the floor, and immediately knew who they belonged to. Before she could speculate further about the odd placement of the shoes, Lauren entered the breakroom on her bare feet.

“Did Emmanuel see?” She asked with a low voice when she caught sight of the blue nail polish. 

Lauren shook her head, putting her red heels back on hurriedly. They both figured Emmanuel had been too distracted and hungover to pay attention to her feet. Especially since the office and halls had been dark. Even Se-Jin hadn’t noticed the broken rule until then, despite the fact she’d been told by her to see Emmanuel and bring Xanax. Lauren joined her at the sink, beginning the task of washing off the dishes and filling the dishwasher.

“I saw Pedro leave,” Se-Jin mentioned, making room for her to take care of the chore. “I know you’re opposed to me calling him, but it seemed to work out fine this time as well. I thought it wouldn’t be necessary now that he has Justin around, but setbacks happen.”

Lauren didn’t answer but merely continued filling the dishwasher, getting the point across that the issues ran deeper than just that. She didn’t bother even casting a glance in Se-Jin’s direction, even though they were standing next to each other. It seemed an apology was in order, to say the least.

“I’m sorry I accused you of leaking the story to the press,” Se-Jin started, making a stellar attempt at softening her voice in a persuasive manner. “And I’m sorry, I called Sanchez without telling you first. And I’m also sorry for calling him in the first place. Forgive me please?”

Lauren sighed, but eventually gave in. She nodded, but refrained from giving Se-Jin the satisfaction of a verbal answer. This didn’t seem to displease Se-Jin in the slightest, and she wasted no time hugging Lauren from behind, placing her hands on her hips. She leaned in, resting her chin on Lauren’s shoulder.

“I’m busy,” She complained, as Se-Jin settled further into the embrace.

Although she had agreed to accept the apology, she still needed time to ease into a civil atmosphere. Nevertheless, they remained in that position, and Se-Jin apparently had no intention of letting go, despite Lauren’s subtle impatience. She felt the warmth of Se-Jin’s chest against her back, and she would be lying if she said that after a long sleepless night it didn’t feel comforting.

“It’s been a long time,” Se-Jin pouted, playfully running her lips up Lauren’s neck until she reached her ear, biting her earlobe. 

“It’s been six days,” Lauren corrected, considering pushing her off so that she could continue doing the dishes, however deciding to let her do as she pleased. “You’ll survive another day, that’s the deal.”

Se-Jin groaned but ended up relenting. She let go of Lauren, who had expected more resistance, but was relieved she could continue her task. Se-Jin grabbed an apple from the bowl of fruit on the counter, giving her a peck on the cheek, and with that she was off to start the new day of work.

***

Emmanuel reached out his hand, and Justin took it bashfully, letting Emmanuel draw him closer. They were standing at the desk, and he quickly got the hint, sitting down on the edge of the table, as Emmanuel pushed the button. He searched the drawers, while the blinds dropped and Justin obediently waited for instructions. 

“Have you seen a device like this before?” Emmanuel asked, pulling up the device in question from the drawer. 

Justin observed it carefully, though he had no doubt it was a toy of sorts. Then another thought crossed his mind, and confusion struck. He’d searched all the drawers before, but there had been no such thing present when he’d looked through them. He knew he would’ve remembered if he’d seen it, so the only explanation had to be.... was it new? He leaned forward a bit, studying the drawer. The bottom had been removed, and the space underneath revealed countless items that Justin couldn’t identify.

“There’s time enough,” Emmanuel smirked, once he saw Justin’s curious expression, and the way his gaze remained focused on the other toys. “I’ll teach you.”

The warmth quickly spread to Justin’s cheeks and he nodded shyly. Especially at the words ‘There’s time enough’ which indicated that their relationship would continue, at least for the time being. Whether the statement was sincere or not, it still brought Justin a considerable amount of comfort.

“Is it a vibrator?” He asked, referring to the strange toy in Emmanuel’s hand. “But it doesn’t really look like a generic vibrator.”

Indeed, it looked slightly bizarre. It was very small, and resembled a tampon. There was no remote at the end of what appeared to be a cable, and he assumed the purpose was the same as with a tampon. The toy, he understood, was meant to go inside the body. They’d never discussed penetration in that sense, though he had thought they were on the same page.

“I can tell what’s going through your head right now,” Emmanuel smiled, somewhat teasingly. “It’s meant to go exactly where you’re expecting, but since it’s small it can be applied to other places,” He explained, while Justin heaved a sigh of relief. “Lend me your wrist, and I’ll show you how it works.”

Justin hesitantly rolled up his sleeve, letting Emmanuel press the vibrator against the exposed skin. He had the remote in his hand, and although Justin had no clue how it worked, he knew that when Emmanuel pressed the button the toy would turn on. And sure enough, the vibrations started, and he gasped slightly despite having been prepared.

“How does it feel?” Emmanuel asked, searching Justin’s expression for a hint.

Justin concentrated on the steady vibrations, and the subtle tingling that it caused. It was a vague sensation, with a low intensity, and he suspected that once it was placed somewhere more sensitive, the feeling would be substantially different. He couldn’t say it was particularly unlike an electric toothbrush. 

“It’s…” He hesitated, struggling to describe it to Emmanuel. “Strange, sort of. What are you planning to do with it?”

Emmanuel met his nervous gaze with an alluring one of his own. He parted Justin’s legs, stepping closer, in between them. He slowly unzipped his pants, while maintaining eye contact, which made Justin hold his breath. When Emmanuel finally broke the mutual gaze, it was in order to draw back Justin’s underwear. While he adjusted the device, securing it with a strap so that it was pressed against the tip of his erection, Justin noticed the state of his underwear. They were already revealing a wet spot, resulting from Justin having gotten excited ridiculously fast. 

Emmanuel for his part appeared to disregard it, not visibly reacting, much to Justin’s relief. He still couldn’t help but blush profusely, which somehow he hadn’t done while Emmanuel was applying the device in the beginning. He found that he’d become somewhat used to being bare in front of Emmanuel, and it no longer made him embarrassed the way it previously had. 

“That should do it,” Emmanuel mumbled, seeming satisfied with the result. “I haven’t made it tight since the circumference should allow for you to become erect without cutting off circulation.” He chuckled slightly, and corrected himself. “More erect, rather.”

Justin was well aware of his inability to control his lower half, and especially so when Emmanuel happened to be giving him physical attention. Emmanuel didn’t appear displeased with this however, and Justin could tell they’d hardly gotten started. Pun very much intended.

“Shall we give it a try?” He asked, as Justin slowly got used to the strain of the ties. “Tell me if it’s too mild.”

Before Justin had the ability to ask one of the many questions that had arisen due to the strange toy, Emmanuel pressed down on the remote, and he felt a jolt go up his spine, quickly extending to the rest of his being. He clung to Emmanuel, burying his head in the crook of his neck, as he trembled. There was a vast difference between the vibrations he’d felt against his wrist, and the ones he was now experiencing in a much more intimate place. 

“Turn it off,” He gasped, suddenly taken aback by the unfamiliar sensation, as he gripped the fabric of Emmanuel’s shirt to make him switch it off again.

Emmanuel took his time, but finally pressed the off-button, while Justin continued to quiver. He raised Justin’s chin, examining the obvious effect of the device, and reveling in the sensitivity he was displaying. Whether he’d meant to or not, Justin had revealed just how little limitation there was to Emmanuel’s subjugation of him.

“You’ll get more accustomed to it once you’ve worn it for a while,” Emmanuel reassured him, drawing his underwear back over the device, and zipping his pants again. “When you’ve walked around with it for a bit, you might even become slightly desensitized.”

With the layers pressing the toy further against his skin, the sensation had only gotten more intense. He couldn’t imagine taking even a single step with it attached to him like that, let alone with it turned on. But did he have a choice? There was a good chance his stamina wouldn’t endure the entire way through whatever Emmanuel was intending. 

“And remember,” He added, running a hand through Justin’s dark curls. “It’ll be a real problem for the both of us if you get yourself too wet.”

Justin recognized the condescending tone, and apparently, so did his body. Even the gentle hand in his hair couldn’t stop his lower half from anticipating more, and he was fully erect when Emmanuel’s hand moved to stroke his cheek. It was so obvious through the trousers, that both their focus’ had dropped to the straining fabric within seconds. 

“You respond so well to me,” Emmanuel chuckled, as Justin became aware of how speechless he’d been since his pants had been zipped back up. “Without a condom your pants will be soaked,” He teased, pressing the palm of his hand against the bulge, until Justin was clinging to him once again. “Don’t you think?”

He picked a condom from the drawer and unzipped Justin’s pants like he’d done just earlier. When he pulled back the waistband, he was pleased to discover that the device had remained in its place, and not slipped off. And indeed, it had already become sticky from precum. Surely a condom could mitigate any issues that would arise.

“It’s noticeable,” Justin pointed out, referring to the unmistakable erection that could be discerned through the trousers. “Anyone who sees this will know…”

Emmanuel had somehow forgotten that in Justin’s case, a ‘situation’ like that would be particularly hard to disguise. Of course, regardless of size, these things were always bothersome, and especially for Justin who seemed unable to calm his body down once he’d gotten turned on. 

“You’re my assistant,” Emmanuel answered, stating the obvious. “Why don’t you carry my coat?”

It was a last minute solution, but one that would hopefully work out adequately. Something told Justin it wouldn’t be his biggest obstacle, compared to all the other factors he’d have to deal with. Nevertheless he accepted the coat, and carried it on his arm, so that it covered his crotch area. 

“If it gets too much, tug at my sleeve,” Emmanuel instructed, and helped Justin down from the desk. “I’ll be beside you, but you’ll have to ride the elevator alone.”

when Emmanuel deemed that Justin was ready, they took slow steps towards the elevator. And although walking while fully hard was uncomfortable to say the least, so far it was manageable. The cafeteria opened at 6.00 AM. and was likely to be mostly empty, save for the occasional early birds. It was the most convenient time of the day for them to run the risk, and the time with the least exposure.

They passed an employee, supposedly a green Clara. Justin held his breath, and straightened his back to appear natural. Emmanuel gave her a cordial nod, and she returned it with a smile. She’d almost walked by them, when Emmanuel pressed a button on the remote, and Justin bit down on his lip hard, trying to suppress a reactionary moan that was replaced by a whimper instead. To his relief the woman in the green A-line dress didn’t seem to have noticed his slip up. Emmanuel turned the device off again, and Justin could finally exhale.

“You handled that well,” He praised as they reached the elevator. “You’ll have to breathe next time however, because I’ll be less generous with the breaks.”

Justin already felt his entire body enveloped in a light tremor, that would likely persist for a while. He pressed a fingertip against his lip, right where he’d bit down, and when he glanced at the red liquid painting his skin; he wasn’t surprised. Emmanuel tilted his head when his gaze fell on the blood, and then on Justin’s bottom lip. He pulled Justin by the collar, drawing him in, and carefully licking the blood off. He almost carried out the action as if it was the most casual behavior imaginable. 

He didn’t intend for it to be a ritual in that sense. Justin appeared to need the encouragement however. Lip to lips - even if not a conventional kiss - was a gesture Emmanuel rarely engaged in, supposedly because of the affection it signaled, but with Justin it seemed like a given; Something habitual. He wasn’t inclined to consider it a problem, as long as Justin remained well-behaved, and refrained from crossing the line. 

“Wait for me when you get off the elevator,” Emmanuel said, swallowing the bright red liquid. “I’ll know if you remove the device, though I have faith you’ll do as I say.”

He wasn’t wrong, Justin thought. There was no real need to go against Emmanuel’s instructions, nor risk disappointing him, and Justin was after all not eager to see their recently repaired relations once again becoming strained. He got on the elevator, avoiding most discomfort by concentrating on his breathing and pulse. Emmanuel’s twisted smile flashed through the space between the doors, just before they closed, sending a shiver down Justin’s spine. He was well aware of the cause of that smile, and as expected, the vibrations started anew. 

Emmanuel walked nonchalantly down the flight of stairs, with the remote comfortably secured in his pocket. He wasn’t in a hurry, considering that the cafeteria was a mere three floors below them. Justin most likely wouldn’t be going anywhere either way, and Emmanuel had a way to ensure that, whether necessary or not. 

Justin pressed the coat against himself to dampen the vibrations, as he struggled to keep himself standing straight. The toy only spanned a limited area of skin, but that specific area happened to be the most sensitive, and the vibrations could be felt much further than that. He was managing better than he had the two prior times Emmanuel had turned it on, however the intensity was no less overwhelming. 

He flinched when he sensed the elevator slowing to a halt, and he barely succeeded in straightening his back and composing himself, before the doors opened. A woman with short curly hair, wearing a suit, stepped onto the elevator. She raised an eyebrow, clearly getting the impression that something was off. Nevertheless she didn’t care to question it, and she seemed to be heading to the cafeteria as well, since the button that was pressed suited her just fine. 

Justin bit his tongue, and hid his quivering legs behind the coat. His breathing almost got too uneven with the anxiety of being in close proximity with someone while in his vulnerable condition, which was in addition to the strain of being sexually stimulated. He nearly panicked, but the doors opened, and he - along with the woman - stepped out. He put most of his effort into each step he took, and so his expression was carelessly desperate. Emmanuel approached him, and Justin couldn’t help but feel ridiculously relieved to see him. They were standing in a relatively secluded area, in the hallway where only the departing woman with curly hair was in sight. 

“You’re doing very well so far,” Emmanuel praised, turning off the toy.

Justin immediately clung to him, burying his flustered face in Emmanuel’s shirt. The sudden lack of stimulation prompted him to grind his hips against Emmanuel’s, with a gasp. Normally he’d be cautious of the surroundings, and possibility of anyone seeing them, however in that moment his body was demanding to be a priority craving all of his attention. 

“I want to come,” He panted, unconsciously getting himself off against Emmanuel’s thigh. “I need-”

Emmanuel stroked him through the trousers, triggering an instant climax. He supported Justin’s weight, since the ejaculation was consuming most of his energy, while weakening his knees. It lasted longer than both of them had expected, and it seemed particularly eternal for Justin who failed to suppress his voice, despite his best efforts. His muscles were still twitching when he’d finally gotten through the release. 

“I was right to assume a condom would be needed,” Emmanuel concluded, still holding Justin to make sure he’d be able to keep his balance. “We can’t change it here, so try to last a little longer next time.”

Easier said than done, Justin thought. His senses weren’t adapting well to the new sensations, and he was skeptical of whether it would improve. In such case, how long would it take before it became even the slightest bit more endurable? He slowly leaned on himself again, loosening his grip of Emmanuel’s shirt. He didn’t have time to concern himself with the state of his appearance, because the elevator soon opened again, and two employees stepped out. While Justin had no relation to them, it seemed they took notice of Emmanuel, in a manner that suggested they were familiar with him. 

“I see you’ve managed to drag yourself out of your office,” A man presumably in his 30’s remarked, smiling at Emmanuel. “To what do we owe the pleasure?”

Emmanuel chuckled slightly, crossing his arms. There was no tension, however Justin could tell that the comment was meant to signal dissatisfaction. They most likely hadn’t seen each other in a while, despite sharing a workplace, and it was obviously regrettable to them considering the tone.

“I thought I should see for myself that you’re still following your pretentious diet,” Emmanuel smirked, delivering a teasing comment of his own, though in good spirit. “Clara told me you’ve been pouring pure butter into your coffee.”

“Does it look like I’m slacking off?” He said, and sure enough, Justin could tell that the man was in good shape. “Perhaps she’s afraid you’ll steal me from her.”

Justin failed in stifling a laugh, finding his comment - though clearly meant as a self aggrandizing joke - to be absolutely hilarious, not to mention absurd. If the Clara in question was Lauren, which he assumed it was, he could hardly imagine her fiancé would take a joke like that kindly. It was strange in the first place that he thought it appropriate to mention her in that way, precisely because of that. Maybe he wasn’t aware. Maybe Justin was overthinking. Maybe they weren’t thinking of the same Clara.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Emmanuel smiled, claiming the attention from where it had awkwardly landed on Justin. “In any case,” He continued, changing the subject. “How have the two of you been, setting aside the dietary topic that is.”

Justin had wondered why the other man, noticeably younger than the first, hadn’t spoken a word the entire time. It quickly became clear to him however, as the quiet employee started using sign language. He’d presumably read Emmanuel’s lips, and even before the other man translated the signs to them, Justin had already figured Emmanuel didn’t know sign language, as it was difficult and time consuming to learn. 

“Tanner proposed to Marie,” The first employee summarized. 

“About time,” Emmanuel teased, apparently having expected such a development. “Congratulations Tanner. Am I getting a wedding invitation soon then?”

The younger employee, Tanner, confirmed with a simple nod. There was a brief moment of silence, before they realized they hadn’t introduced themselves. Justin shook hands with the young man first, unsure of how exactly he was supposed to proceed. He ended up saying his name, counting on Tanner’s lip reading skills, and that they both now knew each other’s name. That seemed to suffice, and Justin shook hands with the other man as well.

“Lewis,” He said, shaking Justin’s hand more enthusiastically than what would be considered customary. “I haven’t seen you around before.”

“I’m Emmanuel’s new assistant,” Justin answered, figuring that would serve as an explanation in itself, and Lewis seemingly understood. “I hope to see you around more often then.”

It was common knowledge that Emmanuel fired and hired new assistants at a preposterous rate, and that Justin was likely to be the victim of that routine as well. As it were, Justin was implying that even though it was unlikely, he hoped to be staying long enough to run into them again.

“Shall we?” Emmanuel gestured in the direction of the cafeteria, and the others nodded, heading for breakfast. 

***

Justin had the coat in his lap, although it would have appeared more natural to hang it on the backrest of his chair. The four of them were sitting at the same table, beside the glass wall that displayed the city beneath them. Emmanuel was sitting next to Justin, while Tanner and Lewis were sitting across from them. 

“Which one of us is on a diet again?” Lewis asked, directing a nod at Emmanuel’s breakfast, consisting only of a cup of coffee. “You’re gonna run on that until lunch?”

Justin knew that hangovers usually caused a lack of appetite, and it was reasonable for Emmanuel to settle for the caffeine instead. Still, nutrients were known to aid hangovers, and help the liver recover from the alcohol, which made Emmanuel’s decision to skip the meal fairly reckless. Especially since neither of them had eaten anything in more than 20 hours. 

“I’m diligent regardless of how much I’ve eaten,” Emmanuel answered dismissively, though Justin caught a hint of worry in Lewis’ expression. “It doesn’t make much of a difference to me.”

Justin focused his attention on his own meal; a lonely slice of buttered bread, an apple and a half full cup of coffee. He couldn’t be sure of Emmanuel’s intentions, and so he had to be on the safe side, just in case. He began eating, feeling somewhat shy. He didn’t know the other employees very well, and in a way he felt as if he was intruding on their group.

“Right, how is Clara?” Lewis asked, revisiting the subject of the joke he’d made earlier in the hallway. “I didn’t see her yesterday at lunch. 

“She was handling some preparation for a defamation lawsuit against the tabloid that published the smear piece on me,” Emmanuel lied easily, taking a sip of his coffee before continuing. “I assume you’ll see her at lunch today though.”

So Lewis had been referring to Lauren after all. Justin once again speculated over whether he knew that Lauren was engaged or potentially married. If so, why was he so eager to see her? Perhaps they were close friends, or something in that lane, though Lauren had never mentioned him. Then again, she hadn’t mentioned her fiancé before yesterday either.

“Right, the story about you,” Lewis recalled at Emmanuel’s mention. “The entire company was in disarray after word had gotten around, and every department seemed to be expecting some kind of reaction from you, but you went A.W.O.L almost immediately.”

Justin could tell that Emmanuel was getting increasingly irritated by the mention of his absence, and that he’d rather be discussing nearly any other topic. If it went on much longer, Emmanuel would most certainly need an outlet for this irritation, and Justin had a feeling he’d be that outlet.

“How long have you, and Tanner been working here?” He asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the current matter. “You seem to know Emmanuel and Clara fairly well,” He pointed out, almost tripping over the name Clara that suddenly felt so unfamiliar to him.

“Apparently not long enough,” Lewis answered, chuckling slightly. “Neither of us knew any of the information in the article before reading it. The Emmanuel we know is nothing like the one the tabloid is describing. To be fair, there’s a chance we’d see some resemblance if he showed up tomorrow in a dress.”

There was laughter all around, and even Tanner who hadn’t heard Lewis teasing tone saw the humor in his statement. Justin had narrowly avoided laughing, until the thought of Emmanuel in a dress crossed his mind. The only one not joining in on the laughter was Emmanuel himself, and for good reason. Justin had never considered him a person capable of laughing at himself, least of all in a self deprecating manner. 

“Don’t count on it,” Emmanuel said, appearing especially bothered with how Justin had burst out laughing as well. 

He was well aware of the image they all had in their head, and his own disgraceful role in it. He pressed the remote, going unnoticed in the subtle movement, while Justin covered his mouth to prevent a sudden moan. Surprisingly enough it seemed no one at the table had caught onto it. He straightened his back, and removed his hand, doing his best to appear unaffected. He was rather successful in that regard, having gotten a handle of regulating the stimulation. Emmanuel found Justin’s well-kept composure to be extremely provoking, and didn’t spare a second turning up the intensity.

Justin arched his back, knocking into the table, subsequently spilling the contents of his mug. The first wave of vibrations was difficult enough to navigate through, and the ongoing ones were simply unbearable in every sense. His first instinct was to take off the device, but that would require him to unzip his pants and remove the condom, which he couldn’t do in the cafeteria for obvious reasons. The second instinct that quickly emerged was to head for the bathroom, however he could barely stand, which was understandable under the circumstances. 

“I’ll get some paper towels,” Lewis said, while the liquid spread on the table. 

He quickly stood up, and began his search for the paper towels while the rest of them stayed at the table. Justin remembered that he could easily tug at Emmanuel’s sleeve to end what was presumably a coping mechanism to him. But exactly because Emmanuel had turned the device on as a response to being the bud of a joke, Justin wasn’t eager to displease him any further. It also wouldn’t solve the problem of the erection he had regained as a result of the toy. 

“You don’t have to be quiet,” Emmanuel encouraged, laying his hand on Justin’s thigh. “Tanner can’t hear you.” 

He’d hidden his lips behind the coffee cup, to prevent the other employee from reading his lips, and the cafeteria was relatively empty, with no one close enough to pick up on their voices. Justin was tempted to remove his teeth from where they were biting his tongue, and he ended up giving in reluctantly.

“Well done,” Emmanuel praised, running his hand along Justin’s inner thigh. “You tend to be loud when you come, so you need to finish before Lewis returns. I imagine you’ll have no problem finishing within a minute.”

Although Emmanuel was essentially right in his calculation, Justin wasn’t thrilled with the repeated teasing remarks regarding his tendency to finish fast. This time however, that tendency would come in handy. He moved Emmanuel’s hand further up, until it was resting between his legs. It was an obvious plea for him to help, and Emmanuel obliged almost instantly. 

The thought of having an orgasm in a place so inappropriate, in front of someone who was essentially a stranger, wasn’t a pleasant one. There was no helping it however, and he was already on the verge. Emmanuel was stroking him through his pants, and he had to cover his face in his sleeve so as to not display a ridiculously lewd expression. When Emmanuel sensed that Justin was about to climax, he removed his hand, letting the device do the work, and instead took Justin’s hand under the table.

Anyone who wasn’t aware of what was going on would likely not assume anything. The scene was natural, with Tanner immersing himself with the view of the city, while Emmanuel took a calm sip of his coffee. Only Justin would come off as slightly unusual.

“Well done,” Emmanuel said, as Justin tightened his grip, holding Emmanuel’s hand as he came. “That’s it.”

Justin was finally allowed to catch his breath, slumping back into his chair. Lewis returned mere seconds later, and Justin, despite feeling utterly worn out, helped clean up the coffee he’d spilled. Emmanuel continued drinking from his cup, carrying an expression of self satisfaction. The conversation carried on like before, as if nothing had taken place in Lewis’ absence, and Emmanuel and Justin went back to the office afterwards.

***

“Sit down,” Emmanuel said, gesturing at the leather couch. “I’ll clean you up.”

Justin did as he was told, all the more uncomfortable as he once again sat down. The fabric of his pants strained in that position, and it made the sticky sensation more prominent. He observed Emmanuel who rummaged through the drawer and pulled up some tissues, grabbing a bottle of water on his way to the couch. He sat on the coffee table across from Justin, and was about to unzip his pants. 

“You look nervous,” He pointed out with a gentle smile, catching Justin’s timid gaze. “I don’t bite, you know. Though I have a feeling you wouldn’t mind it if I did.”

The remark was one that indicated familiarity with Justin’s preferences, but it didn’t do much to quell the initial cause of his nervousness. The situation was one they’d been in before, and Emmanuel remembered Justin’s reluctance to let him clean him up then as well. It seemed equally nonsensical this time, he thought.

“It’s only me who’s made to undress,” Justin explained, feeling somewhat vain as he did so. “I suppose that doesn’t make much sense.”

Emmanuel appeared to understand the problem, considering for a brief moment, then unbuttoning his shirt. Justin figured it was as much as he could hope for, seeing as Emmanuel was usually reluctant to strip himself. When the last button had been undone, he leaned forward, unzipping Justin’s trousers, and drawing back the waistband. He removed the used condom, throwing it in the trash bin, then taking off the device, and cleaning it. 

“I can do the rest myself,” Justin said, reaching out for the tissues, and this time Emmanuel let him do as he pleased, sensing that he’d dragged Justin out of enough comfort zones for the day. 

***

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Se-Jin stated matter of fact-ly, as if she was not actually apologizing, but merely did the polite thing expected of her. “Well, that and putting you in charge of getting Emmanuel to sober up.”

Justin wasn’t sure if she was sorry she’d put him up to the task, or sorry that he’d failed miserably and witnessed Emmanuel getting knock-out drunk. Neither option was particularly reassuring. At least the tension between them had evaporated as if having never been present, and she seemed mostly disinterested in discussing the ordeal further.

“No harm done,” Justin shrugged, equally open to putting it behind them, and focusing on other more important issues. “I met Lewis and Tanner today.”

Se-Jin frowned slightly, and Justin didn’t think much of it, taking into account that a frown wasn’t a rarity in her case. But there was a hint of something unusual in her expression as well, which Justin thought unfamiliar. He considered asking her about it, but she answered before he had the chance.

“Is Lewis still chasing Lauren like a lovestruck teenager?” She asked, lighting a cigarette despite the fact that they were sitting in the breakroom, which was presumably a room not meant for smoking. “She’s already with someone, but I guess he doesn’t know that.”

Justin nodded, and he assumed he’d been right in his suspicion that Lauren was married or engaged like she’d mentioned. It was strange she hadn’t rejected Lewis then, instead of stringing him along. It wasn’t much different from his own relationship with Emmanuel however - or lack thereof.

“You should go home and get some rest by the way,” She said, putting out her cigarette, though having only taken a few drags. “Emmanuel won’t need your assistance for the rest of the day. He’s having a meeting with the lawyer, and the rest of the legal team,” She looked at the clock, and stood from her seat. “A meeting I’m late for, so I’ll take off now.”

Justin watched her take her leave, and he decided that he could easily allow himself to go home and sleep the exhaustion off. He was in the middle of drinking the rest of his tea when she poked her head back in.

“I almost forgot, you smell like sex,” She mentioned, gone as quickly as she’d appeared, while Justin choked on the tea.

***

Lauren paced the floor, back and forth, attempting to alleviate some of the uneasiness residing in her conscience. When she’d shown up for work that morning, only a small number of people had gathered in front of the building, and she’d made it inside without much of a hassle. Se-Jin was already there, standing in the entrance-hall on the ground floor, waiting for Lauren and Justin to arrive.

“What the hell is going on?” She hissed, though she’d asked Se-Jin that question repeatedly, since the sour good morning she’d greeted her with. “How many of them are going to show up? We’ll be overrun if it keeps up like this.”

This time Se-Jin didn’t bother answering, and her gaze was simply resting on the ever-growing number of individuals lumping together outside. Lauren noted that while she may have appeared uninterested, and even bored, they were both finding the situation severely disconcerting. Before long, Justin had managed to make it inside the building as well, and he was justifiably confused, not to mention alarmed. 

“What’s happening out there?” He asked, joining them and catching his breath. “Who are those people and why are they gathering outside?”

It was indeed a peculiar scene, however even Justin had a hunch regarding the purpose of the gathering. He noticed that the building was mostly empty, which was a rare sight, contrasting strongly to the usual flow of hastily moving employees that rushed across the marble floor, towards the elevators. 

“I’ve tried calling you several times but you didn’t pick up,” Se-Jin shrugged, while Justin checked his phone frantically. “There weren’t as many demonstrators earlier this morning, however when the number grew Emmanuel and the administration decided to shut down for today, and all employees were sent a text and an email instructing that they not show up for work today.”

“Where’s Emmanuel?” Justin asked, figuring that the employees standing around in the entrance hall, that had shown up early, hadn’t been sent home. And the same could probably be said about security. 

“He’s in there,” Se-Jin answered, pointing at the door to a conference room, which was supposedly the only such room on the ground floor. “The administration and head of security are discussing what to do about the demonstrators, and how to proceed.”

As if Emmanuel had heard his name being mentioned, he appeared with a few of his security personnel from the conference room. He approached them, and when he spotted Justin his otherwise neutral demeanor turned into a frown. Se-Jin looked as if she was preparing herself for a scolding from her brother, and Justin was relieved that he wasn’t the cause of Emmanuel’s displeased expression. 

“I tried calling him several times,” Se-Jin explained, deflecting any blame. “I can’t help it if he doesn’t pick up the goddamn phone.”

Justin was about to apologize for his carelessness, but Emmanuel’s expression softened slightly when their eyes met, and Justin wondered if it was due to the fact that he was the least of Emmanuel’s problems. His glance fell upon Emmanuel’s hand, and he realized how imprinted the memory of holding it was, even though it was under circumstances he’d rather not revisit. 

“It’s irrelevant now,” Emmanuel sighed, seeing as Justin was in fact there, and that fact was irreversible. “I knew that damn article would stir up a commotion.”

Justin found himself once again confused, and unable to string together an explanation that could plausibly make sense of the situation. Why had demonstrators gathered in response to the publication of details regarding Emmanuel’s childhood? Such a thing wouldn’t normally warrant a full scale demonstration, let alone one of this magnitude. 

“The release of the article has brought the company in the public eye, and it appears nuclear energy isn’t popular, which is understandable considering that the term ‘nuclear’ tends to frighten the uninformed.” Emmanuel explained, having noticed Justin’s understandable confusion. “Headlines that catch the eye bring out the most incompetent people.”

“No to 5G” Justin read out loud from one of the protesters’ signs, with obvious astonishment in his tone. “What does 5G have to do with anything?…”

Lauren pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a long sigh, while Se-Jin appeared disinterested as ever. Justin was hesitant to label the entire group of protesters as ‘lunatics’, wanting to assume that perhaps some of them had pure intentions, however it was difficult to say the least. They all observed the intimidating mass of strangers carrying aggravated expressions, as the overall tension rose. 

“I don’t like this,” Lauren mumbled, and it was clear what she was inferring. The crowd was getting increasingly restless, and even a single agitator could potentially provoke the outset of a riot. “I know I’m not the only one expecting the worst right now, and it might be time to establish some deterrents.”

“Like what?” Justin asked, questioning whether the situation was really for them to handle, considering the potential lawsuits that would be filed if the protesters 1st amendment right to peaceably assemble was infringed upon. “There’s technically no legal basis for responding, since they haven’t done anything that’s against the law.”

“Yet,” Se-Jin scoffed, presumably expecting the scenario to occur, and wanting to be prepared. “Does security have any guns at hand?”

Justin’s eyes went wide. The reasonable response to the 1st amendment undoubtedly wasn’t the 2nd amendment. Se-Jin, though she was usually keen on drawing out reactions from the people around her by making use of the most absurd statements, now seemed to be absolutely serious.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Emmanuel answered dismissively, and Justin let out a sigh of relief. “We don’t have any type of firearms at our disposal, and I would rather let these maniacs maraud the building, than be caught dead quashing a demonstration with violence.”

Se-Jin groaned childishly, while Lauren was deeply consumed by her own thoughts, perhaps contemplating their options with a more realistic mindset than Se-Jin. There wasn’t much time for speculation however, because the agitator was now among the crowd. A skateboard was hurled at the glass barrier, causing a sharp crack to ring out, and that simple action was all it took to instigate a riot. 

“That can’t be good,” Justin mumbled, as more strikes were launched at the glass, while the crowd pressed up against the increasingly fragile barrier. “What do we do?”

There wasn’t much time to act, or decide specifically what type of action should be taken. The amount of security hauled up in the building with them, was in no way sufficient to provide adequate protection. It wouldn’t be long before the rioters broke through the glass, rushing like a wave into the building. And once inside, what would they do? Would any of the employees be safe?

“Guns would certainly have been helpful,” Se-Jin pointed out, earning an irritated glance from Lauren. “Just saying.”

And then the inevitable happened. The scene in front of them was almost surreal; glass splinters streaming down over the incoming horde of rioters, who were completely unfazed, and only exceedingly determined to reach their objective. To Justin, the sight reminded him of the shattering bottle of vodka Emmanuel had smashed against the window in frustration. Why was this glass not as robust? Was it time to run?

Security were instantly beginning the process of herding employees into the elevators, while others shielded them from the rioters. Lauren and Se-Jin were put on an elevator that was almost entirely lacking the capacity, and the doors closed immediately once they’d gotten inside. Justin stayed close to Emmanuel, but quickly realized - as did the security guards escorting them - that Emmanuel had no intention of moving. 

“Sir we need to get to safety,” A security guard ordered, but there was no reaction from Emmanuel. “Sir! We need to move.”

Justin hadn’t been afraid until that moment. Even when the barriers burst, the fear could not compare to the one that had arisen when he’d understood that Emmanuel was under no circumstances getting on that elevator. The only elevator left that had yet to close, was being held open by security, impatiently waiting for their superior to step on. But he didn’t. Justin was being urged to move as well, but he too had no intention of leaving the ground floor, at least not without Emmanuel.

“They’re breaking through!” A guard acting as one of the human shields informed the rest of security. “10 seconds max!”

Emmanuel glanced at the elevator, then at the oncoming horde, as if actually considering which was more tolerable. He was simply standing still, unmoving, calm and thoroughly neutral. Then he launched towards the rioters the same second he could tell that security were going to forcefully escort him, regardless of whether they had to physically drag him into the elevator. 

Justin was absolutely stunned, trying to comprehend the fact that Emmanuel was so reluctant to take the elevator, he would rather throw himself into the claws of a violent mob. Was he that terrified? Had the last elevator ride they’d taken together left such an intense fear, to such an extent the prospect of being ripped to shreds by rioters was more appealing than a benign elevator ride?

It looked like that was the case, because Emmanuel fought tooth and nail to avoid that damn elevator, struggling against his own security personnel. It was almost impressive how much effort it took to drag him a mere inch, so stubborn was he apparently. The 10 seconds were almost up, and Justin took a split second decision. If Emmanuel ended up considering it a betrayal on Justin’s part then so be it. 

“Screw it,” He sighed, then taking each of Emmanuel’s legs, lifting him, making it impossible for him to stand his ground.

The security personnel seemingly appreciated the assistance, and they were now taking quick and easy steps, while carrying Emmanuel who still would not cease to writhe, and resist. They were almost inside the elevator when Emmanuel started pleading, though to no avail. When all else had failed to persuade them to let him go, he let out a final gut wrenching cry, that Justin swore he felt physically tightening his chest so agonizingly, he almost let Emmanuel go right then and there.

Nevertheless they made it inside the second the doors closed, and the elevator ascended. The chaos was no less present in the small metal box however, and Emmanuel was still writhing and pleading. Security appeared clueless as to how they were supposed to proceed, and if they’d possibly made a mistake when defying Emmanuel’s will by bringing him into the elevator. 

Justin wasn’t sure if the disproportionate anxiety presenting itself in Emmanuel was due to the additional stress of the situation with the rioters, or the result of being physically forced into the place he feared the most, utterly against his will. They were headed for the top floor, which was undoubtedly the safest location in the building, though also the one requiring the most time spent in the elevator. 

He highly doubted Emmanuel would endure that long in his current state. He looked around and concluded that they were relatively few in the elevator. Excluding him and Emmanuel, they were 5, which allowed for them to occupy a large portion of the ground, where Emmanuel hyperventilated and convulsed in panic. His eyes were wide open, and his gaze was alert, but not observing anything in the confined space. 

If Justin were to wave his hand in front of him, Emmanuel’s eyes would not take notice of the hint. He likely didn’t even register Justin’s presence. His breathing was so rigid, it caused his chest to rise in quick sharp movements, in tact with his sporadic heartbeat. That same heart was overexerting itself to such a degree Justin was fearful that with a single second his eyes broke away from Emmanuel; it would cease to beat, unlikely as that was. 

It was an excruciatingly horrifying sight, and one that left Justin utterly pained to be witnessing. He so desperately wanted to alleviate whatever distress Emmanuel was struggling with; whatever tormented him in that moment. But he simply didn’t know how. He could only rest his eyes upon the person whom he had only ever felt inferior to, suddenly trembling violently at his feet. He had to level the playing field, that he was sure of. So he sat down at Emmanuel’s side, tending to the restless movements, and trying to keep him in peace, however impossible that task was. 

“We’re almost there,” He lied, attempting to reassure him. “Just hold on a little longer.”

He quickly got the impression that Emmanuel found a sense of comfort in knowing that he was not alone in the small space. If that was in fact the case then the most promising strategy was to make his presence felt, not least in the physical aspect as well. He was aware that they were sharing the elevator with several security guards, but he estimated that the upside outweighed the downside of the action he was about to take. 

“Do well for me Emmanuel,” Justin whispered, leaning down and pressing his lips against Emmanuel’s.

He’d never kissed Emmanuel. He’d never been permitted to, and he’d never dared take that step in fear of the consequences. Now that he was fulfilling a fantasy that was so vehemently flourishing with every passing day, he wasn’t sure he would be able to allow that moment to pass. And maybe it didn’t have to, because Emmanuel was kissing him back. There was no telling if he harbored any awareness as to the action he was engaging in, though nonetheless his physical response was irrefutable.

The writhing and trembling was ongoing, but the cause was now another; Justin. Perhaps he was merely distracted, but Justin wanted, or maybe needed, to believe that Emmanuel had wanted it as long as he had. Emmanuel’s eyes closed, and the consistent tremors that had plagued his entirety finally desisted. Justin wouldn’t have needed to continue, let alone progress even further, yet he did at the urge he was now beholden to. 

He felt Emmanuel’s lips part for him, and took it as permission to deepen the kiss. His hand sought Emmanuel’s, and found it, readily accepting of his own. His tongue was exploring, while the action cut all ties to reality, and shaped a new one for them to sink deeper into. Had their surroundings ever been so irrelevant?

The sound of the elevator doors opening suddenly broke through this carelessness, and it almost seemed to function as a trigger, causing Emmanuel to push Justin away instantly. The reaction was abrupt, Justin barely realized he’d been shoved off, before Emmanuel’s startled expression made itself apparent to him. He was absolutely taken aback, and subsequently tongue-tied.

A mere second later the sound of heels was approaching rapidly, and they were accompanied by quick breaths. Lauren showed up in front of the elevator, and Se-Jin was right beside her, but didn’t let her steps slacken even for a second. She got to her knees, embracing Emmanuel while gasping for air, evidently distraught to have been left to her own worries over Emmanuel’s whereabouts, and safety. It was obvious, knowing Emmanuel as she did, that she’d been unsure of whether he would’ve chosen to stay in the eye of chaos to avoid the confined space.

Emmanuel still hadn’t fully emerged from the daze, his panic attack and Justin’s strategy of fixing it, had left him in. He didn’t resist Se-Jin’s embrace, but hadn’t entirely registered it either. His stunned expression was still directed at Justin who had now recoiled in anticipation of Emmanuel’s eventual reprimand, or what was worse; being fired. But Emmanuel was blank. His arm slipped around Se-Jin’s waist, and they sat in that position, while security held the doors open. 

Lauren lay a hand on Justin’s shoulder, signaling for him that it was time to get up, and leave the elevator. He slowly got up, and while all his instincts were begging him not to, he refrained from casting a glance back at Emmanuel. Instead he simply walked off to the break room with Lauren, ignoring a lingering curiosity regarding Emmanuel’s condition.

Most of the other Employees he’d remembered from the ground floor, were now roaming around on the top floor, understandably distracted from the mess downstairs, due to the new territory they otherwise hadn’t had access to. The only space not filled with employees was Emmanuel’s office, and for good reason. Lauren and Justin stayed in the break room for the next hour, until people started filing out. 

Security informed them that police had dispersed the crowd, and that the building would be under protection in the oncoming days. It didn’t bring Justin much relief, since his main worry, though self centered as it was, mostly revolved around the possibility that his relationship to Emmanuel once again had become strained. If that was the case then how was he going to fix it this time?


	6. Attention

Justin somehow managed to be taken aback by the state of the entrance hall, that morning when he showed up for work. He was well aware of the events that had occurred the day before, but it seemed his mind had momentarily been clouded by the lack of sleep said events had caused. There was no reason to worry about such an episode repeating - hopefully. He could blame the sleepless night on the riot, though a part of him had already reluctantly admitted that he was nervously awaiting Emmanuel’s scolding that had failed to take place the day before. 

He heard glass cracking beneath the soles of his shoes, and for a second he was startled, thinking he’d broken something. He quickly realized however, that the entire ground was flooded with shards of glass that hadn’t been removed yet. He did his best to avoid stepping on them, but that attempt couldn’t easily be called successful. 

There were police and riot-control officers scattered across the area, presumably keeping guard of the building and the employees. If something actually did happen, then this time for sure, security would be sufficient. As far as he’d understood no one had gotten injured, except a small number of the security personnel that had protected them. That in itself was a relief, taking into account how many rioters had showed up.

Justin got on one of the elevators, and as soon as he’d pressed the button, he recalled the sight of Emmanuel writhing on the floor. That memory was soon overwritten by the one that had followed it - Kissing Emmanuel. The stomachache that had arisen from remembering Emmanuel’s panic attack subsided, and a warmth spread throughout his body in its place, much to Justin’s relief. 

The elevator doors opened and he spotted Se-Jin crossing the end of the hallway leading down to the elevator he had taken, and for a split second he was sure she had a smile on her lips. It wasn’t particularly unusual, though he would have expected a frown - which happened to be just as frequent - after yesterday’s chaos. He thought he might as well catch up to her, and ask how she and Emmanuel were holding up. He took brisk steps down the hallway, but didn’t catch up to her before someone called out to him. 

“Justin,” A voice said, and he turned around to find the source. “Have you been to the cafeteria while you’ve worked here yet?” Brunette Clara asked, and he nodded. “Well do you want to eat lunch with me, Clara, Se-Jin, and some other employees there today?”

Justin once again nodded, and Clara took the gesture as an affirmation. She left after giving him a friendly smile, and Justin was once again attempting to catch up to Se-Jin, who was now completely out of sight. He went in the direction he’d last seen her heading towards, yet she almost appeared to have gone up in smoke. Around the corner loomed another encounter unexpected for him, and therefore resulting in an unforeseen clash. 

Surroundings momentarily spun in a pace unmatched by the one with which he had hurriedly searched for Se-Jin. Fortunately he and the other person who’d previously been unrecognizable in the rapid spiraling, balanced out each other with their near identical body size. For a mere second Justin was standing in an uncomfortable proximity with someone he’d wished, and assumed he’d never see in the building again.

“I apologize,” Pedro Sanchez said, smiling off the incident as if he’d bumped into a stranger, which, presumably Justin was. “Did you get hurt?”

Justin’s mind glitched out at Pedro’s question, and the absurdity of the situation overall. Was he expressing remorse for a mistake that had not been his? As it were, Justin had been recklessly quick in his steps, and the predictable outcome was that he’d caused a minor accident. Luckily nothing had amounted from their unconventional confrontation, though if one of them had in fact been injured, Justin solely would carry the blame, even if the overall incident had been unintentional. 

“No I’m fine,” Justin blinked, as he reclaimed his apprehension. “And you? Did you get hurt somewhere?”

He wanted to curse at himself for showing concern, though common decency had the last say, it would appear. He couldn’t exactly bring himself to act rudely towards someone whom he barely knew, yet what few details he did know, made it difficult for him not to settle for one drawn conclusion; that Pedro most certainly was not a person deserving of any kindness whatsoever. 

“No harm done,” Pedro chuckled, giving Justin’s shoulder an amicable squeeze, then taking his leave, clearly having been on his way to an appointment before they’d clashed. “Have a nice day.”

Justin stood dumbfounded in that same place for a few seconds more, following Pedro’s departing steps with his gaze. As much as he wanted to hate this man, he couldn’t deny that there was a certain friendly charm striking Justin right in his conscience. It only further irritated him.

But a thought still lingered there as well, furthermore, one that had been lingering throughout his brief encounter with Pedro. How was Justin the lone one to memorize the other from that night? Pedro had walked past him, and Justin could’ve sworn they’d become aware of each other, notwithstanding the brevity of that moment where their paths had crossed. 

“What’s he doing here?” Se-Jin asked, appearing as abruptly as she’d vanished. “Is Emmanuel intoxicated again?”

Her tone wasn’t particularly grave, indicating that she didn’t need an answer to her question, as she already knew that Emmanuel had not made such an error twice within that limited of a time span. The first of her questions had been genuine however. Even she was not informed of the occasion for which Pedro had shown up.

“Does Emmanuel know he’s here?” Justin responded with a question of his own. 

“If he didn’t Pedro wouldn’t be here,” Se-Jin scoffed, as if that conclusion had been notably pathetic. “Even the ‘powerful’ Mr. Sanchez fears Emmanuel to a certain degree,” She continued, finding her own statement to be A-grade humor. “When they were younger he’d take the lead due to the fact that he’s slightly older, though as time passed and Emmanuel gained authority and became more independent, the tables somehow turned. It suited both of them sufficiently, but I have a hunch telling me one of them will snap eventually. Who knows, it might be today,” She remarked jokingly.

Justin was surprised at the amount of backstory Se-Jin was willing to share with him, and he could only hope that it was a progression in the level of trust between them. Something didn’t entirely make sense to him though, based on the empirical evidence. He recalled the scene vividly. How Pedro had carried Emmanuel bridal-style, without any invitation from Emmanuel nor consequences in the aftermath, at least from what Justin was aware. Was he really under Emmanuel’s subservience when clearly he was acting on his own cue? The bold behavior could potentially be the result of Pedro’s previous authority, which Emmanuel had somehow found a way to claim.

“So Emmanuel knew he was coming, but he failed to mention it?” Justin asked, assuming that his suspicion was correct, even without Se-Jin’s affirmation. “Does he usually do that?”

“Well,” She sighed, checking her phone. “PT is today, so perhaps he didn’t feel the need to add it back onto the calendar, figuring a warning would be obsolete. That, or he didn’t plan it. Though impulsivity isn’t unlike Emmanuel, something like this wouldn’t be the result of a rash decision, judging by the record. He takes into account that Lauren has to know in advance since it drains much of her energy as well.” 

Justin hadn’t forgotten the expression Lauren had carried the night she’d seen Pedro despite her own expectation that she wouldn’t have been without that experience. However much Justin had been distraught, something told him that Lauren’s distress, though in a more contained form, was just as debilitating. 

“Then maybe we should tell her?” Justin suggested, already contemplating her whereabouts, inclined to believe that Se-Jin would agree. “So that she won’t find out by running head first into him like I did.”

Se-Jin nodded, but her lack of any further physical reaction implied that she had no intention of following through with the implication of her nod. Justin found that to be odd, wondering if Se-Jin had no concern over whether Lauren and Emmanuel’s relations transitioned into one of conflict. Justin could’ve sworn her and Se-Jin had restored their friendship after the events that had taken place that day.

“Why don’t we let Emmanuel clean up his own mess for once?” She smiled with a pseudo benevolence, that Justin felt particularly unsettling. “He didn’t tell either of us anyway, so it’s only fair that he gets to take the entire share of the disarray he’s causing. Don’t you agree?”

“But Lauren-” 

“Lauren needs to learn as well,” She cut him off. 

Justin wasn’t completely able to comprehend Se-Jin’s stubbornness, or shift in attitude. It was almost as if an imposing vindictiveness was influencing her decision-making, seemingly out of nowhere. There was no telling what had gotten into her, but Justin thought it wise to stay out of it, and so he simply nodded. 

“Alright then, in any case I assume Clara already asked you to join, but a few of us are having lunch in the cafeteria today, and there’s room for you too.” She smiled, obviously satisfied with her effort to convince him to leave Lauren out of the loop, then taking off as well, as Justin stayed back dwelling in his own thoughts. 

Justin had no intention of keeping Lauren in the dark, which prompted him to seek her out. She - as Se-Jin had been - wasn’t anywhere Justin sought for her. He went to his desk, considering it a reasonable idea that he mark his presence, by leaving his coat and bag at the desk, before continuing his quest. When his steps came to a halt in front of Emmanuel’s office, he had once again become blank.

Behind the glass was his superior, appreciative gaze locked with an adoring one belonging to Pedro. They were standing close. Too close, in Justin’s opinion. For some reason he hadn’t experienced this degree of vexation the last time Pedro had been that close to Emmanuel, perhaps because the circumstances were different, and Emmanuel was fully conscious of his actions, in a way he hadn’t been the first time. 

Justin was about to leave, not eager to spend even a second longer spectating them. Almost as if Emmanuel had sensed this, he turned his gaze towards Justin, locking eyes with him. Before Justin had a chance to consider his options, Emmanuel had closed the door behind him, approaching Justin. 

“There you are,” He said, as if they had planned for the situation to take place. “You’re joining PT today,” He announced casually, undeterred by Justin’s visible astonishment. “I’ll guide you through the entire thing, and your role will be minimal, so there’s no need for you to worry. Try to follow my instructions. Can you do that for me?”

Justin nodded timidly, feeling as if he wasn’t offered much of a choice, which of course he wasn’t. He couldn’t be sure whether or not he could endure being present for whatever PT entailed. If it was anything like the sexual activities he’d taken part in with Emmanuel himself, then there was no doubt he was in for an unpleasant experience. However, could he decline?

“What about Lauren?” He asked, returning to his initial worry regarding Pedro’s presence.

“I Highly doubt she’d want to join. Or that any of us would be comfortable with that scenario,” Emmanuel answered, slightly thrown off by Justin’s bizarre suggestion. 

“No, I mean shouldn’t you tell her that Pedro’s here?” Justin clarified, shivering at the thought of Lauren joining them, the way Emmanuel had assumed he’d meant. “Se-Jin said that you usually tell Lauren, since it’s energy consuming for her to have him around.”

“That’s the reason she’s not here at the moment,” Emmanuel answered, finally understanding Justin’s concern. “She knew in advance, which is why she’s running errands outside of the building until lunch. Once Pedro leaves, she’ll return without any problems. I’m sure she’d appreciate your thoughtfulness,” He smiled, somewhat bitterly, and Justin wondered how he’d managed to tick off his superior with such a benign question, though he had a hunch it was due to the delay he was causing with said question.

Emmanuel seemed to be in a hurry, which was something Justin didn’t understand the reason for either. It was especially off putting, and the subtle uneasiness Emmanuel allowed for him to catch on to was adding to that ever present tension. There was a reason why Emmanuel felt it necessary for him to join them, though it remained unclear to Justin at that moment. 

***

“Sit down,” Emmanuel ordered, gesturing at the black leather sofas. “In the middle of each one.”

Both Justin and Pedro did as they were told, without a hint of hesitation. They sat across from each other, taking the middle cushion of each their own couch, curious as to the purpose of their designated positions. Justin, for his part, felt rather uncomfortable with how his glance would automatically fall upon Pedro. 

It would be unnatural for him to adamantly avoid what was right in front of him, and he therefore hoped Emmanuel would continue giving orders, before his restlessness hit a new high. Contrary to Justin’s fidgety nature, Pedro was sitting cordially and calmly, almost like he was nowhere out of his comfort zone, which could surely be the case, as PT wasn’t an unusual phenomenon for him to Justin’s understanding.

“Justin,” Emmanuel started, earning an expectant glance from him. “Pay attention to Pedro, and focus only on him.”

Justin wasn’t thrilled with the task he’d been given, preferring to only and ever let his immersion be dedicated to Emmanuel. But the orders were given by Emmanuel, which meant that Justin was still able to please him simply by following the orders. Pedro didn’t appear the least bit bothered with having Justin concentrate on him as intensely as he’d been instructed to do. 

“Once we begin, no one backs out,” Emmanuel went on to warn, causing shivers to travel throughout Justin’s body. “If that scares either of you, feel free to take your leave.”

Emmanuel gestured at the door, letting silence drive across the point. Justin had an idle hope that Pedro would stand up and exit the office, but of course, he remained seated. Next Justin had to consider if he himself was willing to stick around for whichever stunt Emmanuel was intending to pull. 

If he chose not to stay the course, would it result in something far worse than staying potentially could? Would he in Emmanuel’s eyes lose all favorability? It was a risk Justin could under no circumstances take, and a white flag he wasn’t intending to wave anytime soon. So he, like Pedro, sat unmoving on his cushion. 

“Very well,” Emmanuel smirked, running the tip of his tongue along his teeth cunningly. “Don’t say I never warned you.”

His incisive gaze broke away from them, as he turned to his desk. Justin knew what he was searching for, or at least from which drawer the needed item would be found. He did, in any case, wonder if Pedro knew. Compared to Justin, the indication of nervousness was almost entirely non-existent. He was either unknowing, or accustomed to the situation, not to mention Emmanuel for that matter. Justin couldn’t be sure, though he had an unnerving sense that Arkham's razor would apply here; Pedro most likely had experience with Emmanuel’s mystery drawer.

Emmanuel rustled with the items, then raised his gaze to Justin and Pedro, as if contemplating what to pick on the basis of their complexion, before returning his focus to his desk. The sheer thrill in Emmanuel’s expression made it obvious to Justin that an activity of Emmanuel’s liking had been settled upon. 

Several items were placed on the coffee table, and not knowing the intended application of some of the toys made Justin extremely uneasy. The ones he did recognize didn’t comfort him in the slightest, as the image of them being used invaded his mind. 

There were handcuffs. Not an unusual toy in terms of BDSM, or S&M, although being immobilized in any way while in the presence of Pedro, frightened Justin to his core. They weren’t cheap plastic cuffs either, no these were not meant for anyone to simply break out of on a mere whim, if they so desired. 

The rest of the items were a big question mark to him, therefore not worth frantically panicking about, assuming that Emmanuel would explain their function. Getting himself more worked up on the basis of something he had yet to understand, wouldn’t serve him well either way. 

To his curiosity, Emmanuel picked up the handcuffs and turned to Pedro. This was somewhat of a relief, yet Justin had expected that he’d be the victim of confinement, considering his tendency to secede from Emmanuel’s orders. It seemed he wasn’t the one to be worried about, but Pedro apparently was. It was quite a puzzle.

Pedro didn’t resist, instead displaying his gathered wrists to Emmanuel, who shook his head and handcuffed him behind his back. That was the first time Justin had witnessed Pedro’s expression transform into one of confusion. He wondered if Pedro was usually handcuffed with his hands in front of him, unlike the manner in which they now were. 

“Keep this secure for me,” Emmanuel said, dropping the key in Justin’s lap without paying him much mind, which was remarkable given the responsibility that adhered to the assignment. 

Next he sat down sideways on the cushion beside Pedro, wasting no time preparing the toy in his hand for usage. Justin didn’t dare fiddle with the key that rested in his grasp, but felt restless as he observed the strange device Emmanuel was preparing, finding it not only intimidating, but also too foreign to not unsettle him. 

It was a rubber-type ring, though with a relatively wide circumference. It was somewhat similar to a hoop earring in its mechanics, which suggested that it could be adjusted to fit different measures. Justin suddenly became aware of the location the toy was meant to be applied. 

Emmanuel moved his hand towards Pedro’s crotch, and Justin instantly clutched the key in his palm, bordering between reacting outwardly or keeping the distress within himself. He couldn’t do much, and even the slightest contortion of his facial expression could be punished if he was caught. 

It just so happened that he’d let out a gasp in protest, exasperatingly enough for Emmanuel to catch it and turn his focus to Justin. There was no reprimand however, since Emmanuel understood the source of Justin’s dissatisfaction; jealousy. His otherwise neutral expression changed to one of amusement. Justin averted his eyes, with a sense of inquietude, while Emmanuel unzipped Pedro’s trousers.

Although knowing exactly what was happening in front of him would coax Justin immeasurably, not knowing was potentially far more nerve wracking. He played the role of spectator carefully, sitting idly by. His heart reached a painful pace when Emmanuel slipped his hand into Pedro’s pants. While Justin would have been deeply flustered if he’d been the one to have his most intimate part exposed, Pedro didn’t appear uncomfortable to any extent. 

When Emmanuel started adjusting the device, Justin immediately learned why.

Pedro tilted his head, almost identically to the twisted way Emmanuel usually did it, once he caught Justin’s excessive blush. The corners of his mouth pulled into a sly smile, and one that Justin found to be aggressively irritating. But even so, he was comparing the two of them in his mind, unbeknownst to no one. There was a good chance Emmanuel had afforded himself the same privilege when he’d pulled back Justin’s waistband that first time. 

Pedro wasn’t erect, though Emmanuel was attentively placing the ring-like device, and Justin knew that if he’d been the subject of Emmanuel’s attention, he would have been hard by the very first touch. The toy was placed just under the tip, and judging by the tightness, becoming fully erect would block the urethra and prevent ejaculation. Justin had learned from experience that forced edging and orgasm suppression was excruciatingly frustrating, not to mention unsatisfying and even painful. 

“Why don’t you do the honors?” Emmanuel asked, not bothering to wait for a reply, throwing Justin a remote to the device. “Experiment a bit until you figure out how it works.”

Justin’s eyes widened slightly, and even Pedro finally reacted with something other than nonchalance. Entrusting Justin with the remote was quite possibly a step too far for both him and Pedro, which was presumably Emmanuel’s objective. Justin’s glance hovered over the remote, uncertainly and hesitantly, before he locked eyes with Pedro. 

He had already gotten the initial permission from Emmanuel, rendering any concession from Pedro redundant. Still, he felt that any action taken against the subjects will, would constitute something akin to an encroachment of sorts. Pedro gave him an impatient look, as if they’d both face a reprimand due to Justin’s reluctance to carry out Emmanuel’s order immediately. He had to take that as a given consent from Pedro, and his attention once again fell on the remote. 

The obvious instinct was to press the button, bigger in size and more centered than the rest that were scattered across the remote. He pressed it quickly, looking up to observe the effect, but discovering that there was none. Nervousness was creeping up on him, and only intensified when his eyes failed to spot Emmanuel after scanning the office in search of him. 

“That one won’t work before the skin makes contact with the censors,” Emmanuel whispered from behind the couch, startling Justin with the flutter of his lips against his ear. “Do you understand what you need to do?”

Justin nodded, avoiding giving a verbal answer, as he was afraid his tremor would reach his vocal chords. It was quite overt what he was meant to do, but the matter of how he was supposed to do it was inconspicuous to him. The device wouldn’t function until Pedro was erect, and apparently Justin was responsible for making that happen. With which strategy could this task be successfully fulfilled? He wasn’t familiar with Pedro’s kinks or inclinations, so there was no clear path to accomplishing the goal. 

“Do you need help?” Emmanuel then asked, taking initiative since Justin was struggling to do so himself.

He nodded, and Emmanuel proceeded to reach around him from behind, unbuttoning his shirt. Justin’s breath quickened as he realized the method Emmanuel was utilizing. He wasn’t sure whether that type of visual stimulation would be useful, considering that Pedro hardly knew Justin, and perhaps didn’t find him to be attractive. 

“Concentrate,” Emmanuel whispered, picking up on Justin’s rigid breathing and persistent tremor. “You know what to do now.”

He led Justin’s hand between his legs, making it obvious what the purpose of the action was. Pedro observed the scene in front of him intently, and with a gaze that Justin felt searing into his flesh. He felt his features flooding with warmth and he could only assume that the blush reached further than just his cheeks at that point. 

Emmanuel tightened his grip around Justin’s hand, subsequently putting pressure on Justin’s crotch. He was urging Justin to do as he had assured Emmanuel he could, but it was seemingly too difficult with Pedro as an audience. He slipped his other hand into Justin’s shirt, playing with his chest affectionately, the way he knew Justin responded to. 

“Go ahead,” He encouraged, while Justin writhed uncomfortably as his erection became increasingly painful. “Or do you need me to take care of you?”

Justin wasn’t eager to let Emmanuel pleasure him in front of a person he could barely stand, let alone do it himself. Nevertheless, his body was defying what little pride still resided in him. He was doing his best to avoid eye contact with Pedro, who was maintaining a focused gaze on Emmanuel’s movements.

Justin leaned his head back, burying his flustered features in the warmth of Emmanuel’s neck. It was a subtle gesture, meant to let Emmanuel know that he could do as he pleased, and that Justin wouldn’t resist. And with Justin’s permission, Emmanuel moved his hand from his chest to the zipper, while still using his left hand to hold Justin’s. He could feel deep restless breaths against his neck, recognizing that the level of physical stimulation Justin was exposing him to was risky, even with the degree of self control Emmanuel had.

Pedro raised an eyebrow at Emmanuel’s uncharacteristic affectionate behavior, which was a treatment he himself was rarely afforded. Emmanuel averted his eyes; a tell tale sign that made Pedro lust for his attention in irritation. Justin was indeed taking his place, and filling it better than he’d ever managed to do. It was easy to spot the root of Emmanuel’s strange fondness of the new subject he’d acquired. 

Justin was sensitive, submissive, naive, fragile, deeply dependent and utterly innocent. Everything that appealed to Emmanuel, and every square Pedro didn’t check. While Justin was inexperienced, that particular trait only appeared favorable and added to Emmanuel’s advantage. Even Pedro couldn’t help but feel the allure of Justin’s purity and attractive features. 

Although he was jealous, Pedro had to admit that the prospect of Emmanuel as affectionate and at the mercy of a mere assistant, clearly vulnerable, was deeply comical. Even if neither Justin nor Emmanuel were aware, Pedro could tell that the one being subdued wasn’t Justin. How was it that this stranger had succeeded in doing what Pedro never could in his decades of knowing Emmanuel?

He was snapped out of his thoughts abruptly, as Justin arched his back with an urgent moan. Emmanuel’s hand was moving steadily, and Justin seemed to be responding extremely well to the slightest touch. Pedro found it impressive how he appeared to be on the verge of an orgasm despite Emmanuel having barely started.

Emmanuel had a knowing smile on his lips, and with the sudden tightness of the device, Pedro found out why. Justin was a lewd sight to behold, and indeed one that was vexing enough to provoke him. Emmanuel didn’t spare him much attention, and as his pace increased, all focus was on Justin.

Judging by the frequency and volume of the whimpers and moans, Justin was close. Pedro tried to move his hands, but instantly remembered the handcuffs that prevented him from doing so. The toy inflicted more agitation and pain with every passing second, as he became increasingly erect. 

It was almost perfect timing when Justin reached climax. Although it had felt like hours to Pedro, mostly due to the state he was in, Justin had finished relatively fast, yet lasting longer than he usually did. Of course, he had held back to the best of his abilities in order not to humiliate himself by finishing immediately in front of Pedro, whom he considered somewhat of a rival. 

“Good boy,” Emmanuel praised, kissing his forehead, much to Pedro’s bewilderment. “Looks like you’re giving Pedro a hard time,” He smirked, leading Justin’s attention to the erection he’d given the man sitting across from him. “The button should be functioning just fine now.”

Justin finally looked at Pedro, and while he’d expected to feel embarrassed to have shown his shameful side to someone other than Emmanuel, Pedro appeared just as unraveled and desperate. He took the remote, feeling strangely dominant. He’d never had that kind of control at his hands, in addition, without having to take any responsibility. 

He pressed the button that had caught his gaze the first time he’d had to experiment with the remote. The result wasn’t surprising, but Justin still found it unexpected, while Emmanuel crossed his arms in satisfaction with Justin’s choice. The device vibrated, and Pedro promptly struggled against the handcuffs. 

It didn’t shock Justin in the slightest that Pedro now only let his focus wander as far as Emmanuel and never further, ignoring Justin’s presence. While the device had a more intense physical effect than the hand that had pleasured Justin, Pedro held back his voice much better than Justin was capable of.

The next step was unclear. What was meant to take place thereafter, and who was in control? There wasn’t much time to speculate, as Pedro let out sounds more akin to ones of pain than pleasure. Justin turned to Emmanuel for instructions, but the resolute expression on his face told Justin that Pedro was the one who’d have to take initiative. And sure enough, he did so seconds later. 

“-Off!” He exclaimed, sweat forming on his features. “Take it off!”

Emmanuel was the one turning to Justin this time, though equally neutral, expecting Justin to decide the further course of action. Pedro however, still reserved his attention for Emmanuel, assuming Justin wouldn’t be able to act on his own accord, even with Emmanuel’s encouragement. 

“What do I do?” Justin asked, almost becoming frantic. “What button do I press?”

Pedro eventually had to face the fact that Emmanuel had no intention of taking over, much less at his or Justin’s request. If Emmanuel were to do so, it would be solely at his own resolve. In what could only be described as a last resort, Pedro directed his frustrated expression at Justin, attempting to dictate his next move with nothing but a sense of pity he hoped to instill in Justin’s conscience. 

“Why don’t you try a few of the buttons until you find the right one?” Emmanuel suggested, rather amused with the situation he had somehow created. “I’m not in a rush.”

Pedro growled at the snide remark, while Justin continued to fidget nervously, lacking any other purpose, now that Emmanuel had conveniently decided to take a break from delegating ridiculous commands. Of all the times Justin had been at his breaking point due to a fringe order from Emmanuel, now wasn’t one of them, unfortunately so. 

He decided to do the most natural thing that occurred to him, and pressed the same button that had started the mess in the first place. He nearly interpreted everything as a joke when the intensity of the vibrations only increased further, and Pedro hissed in irritation and possible pain - Justin couldn’t tell. 

He turned the remote to the backside, where the batteries sat. He wouldn’t need a tool to open it, but even if he shut off the device, it wouldn’t solve the problem of the pressure, since Pedro was fully erect, and the ring was tight enough to block the urethra; preventing ejaculation. He’d have to find another way that didn’t involve removing the batteries. 

At that point Justin was merely pressing buttons left and right, in what could only be described as a comical attempt to find the right one. Some didn’t have a function, or at least not a discernible one. Others made the situation significantly worse. Just as he was about to plead for Emmanuel’s assistance, he found the correct one, opening the ring with the simple sound of a click. 

While Justin stared at the scene in front of him, facing some severe sympathy pains, Emmanuel was searching his desk nonchalantly. Pedro wasn’t as obscene during orgasm as Justin usually was, rather, he was almost calm. The slight arching of his back, and the clenched fists, were the only signs of a reaction. 

And yet, it was tantalizing enough for Justin to become so distracted, he barely noticed the flash coming from behind him. He turned to see Emmanuel holding an instax camera in one hand, and a drying photograph in the other. Was this normal for them? Did Emmanuel often take pictures of Pedro in such a compromising position?

“Emmanuel, what the hell was that?” Pedro sighed, looking relatively fed up. “Give that to me. I never agreed to this.”

He was about to zip his pants but the handcuffs prevented him from doing so, not entirely unpredictable. Justin was still sitting motionless on the couch across from him, despite having the keys to the handcuffs, and the ability to unlock him. Emmanuel didn’t appear to even consider Pedro’s orders, casually putting his camera back on his desk. 

“You’re quite a possessive asshole,” He chuckled, voice dangerously low. “The second I cut you off for good, you decide to risk everything I’ve accomplished, just to make me benevolent enough to let you crawl back at my feet.”

“Se-Jin called me,” Pedro argued with a patronizing scoff. “Whatever you’re trying to infer, don’t forget who needs who.”

Emmanuel finally raised his glare to face Pedro’s steadily anxious gaze. He walked back towards the couch Justin was sitting timidly in, standing behind him, almost as if sending a signal. He tilted his head to the side, tapping a finger against his sleeve with crossed arms.

“You knew we were done,” Emmanuel stated, wanting to convince Justin of this as well. “You leaked the photo to the press, intending to humiliate me to such a degree you had a way back in, assuming you’re the only one who knows how to get me back on my feet.” 

Justin’s heart stopped for a moment, as he tried to comprehend the information he’d just received. Pedro was the one who’d leaked the photo? And Emmanuel knew? Perhaps no one was aware in the beginning, however, at some point Emmanuel had realized it and refrained from telling anyone, including Justin. Sure, Lauren had said that Pedro and Emmanuel had known each other since childhood, making it possible for him to obtain such a photo, but would someone caring deeply about another person, hurt that same person this way? 

“What? Have you gone insane?!” Pedro tried, increasingly eager to escape the handcuffs.

“Who knows,” Emmanuel shrugged, with one of his signature smirks. “Next time you decide to pull a stunt like that, your photo will appear on the front page,” He warned, gesturing at him with the picture he’d taken mere seconds earlier. “Unlock the cuffs.”

Justin suddenly understood why Emmanuel had entrusted him with the keys, and that confidence in Justin wasn’t the motive. It had been planned meticulously, and down to every minute detail. Justin was there as a pawn, or more generously put; a safeguard. Although he doubted that Emmanuel was harboring any fear in regard to Pedro, he probably didn’t find the task of unlocking the handcuffs to be particularly appealing. Neither did Justin however.

He held the key in his grasp, hesitating briefly before he stood up. Pedro most certainly wouldn’t dare lay a hand on Emmanuel, but was that the case for Justin? There was a small risk, he estimated, that Pedro was about to serve him with a beating, as soon as the handcuffs were off. Someone had to let him go though, and seemingly that someone was Justin. If Emmanuel really thought there was a risk Pedro might strike out, he probably wouldn’t put Justin up for the task. At least there was that.

Pedro didn’t appear pleased with having Justin that close, and his kind demeanor had vanished, as if it had never existed. There was no way around it however, and they both endured, as Justin uncuffed him. As soon as he was free, Pedro zipped his pants, grabbing his coat. He was halfway out the office, when Emmanuel made a final remark.

“Don’t come back here, no matter who invites you.”

Justin was almost as stunned as Pedro, though he was hardly involved. He couldn’t allow his mind to register the events that had just played out, yet he was certain that they had indeed taken place. There was no foundation left beneath him, as he turned his gaze in Emmanuel’s direction, discovering that he was perfectly neutral. 

It wasn’t entirely unheard of that Emmanuel failed to show appropriate emotions adhering to the situation, but something wasn’t right. There was no trace of emotion in his demeanor, and in addition, Justin was convinced that the reason had to be that Emmanuel simply did not feel anything, even with the magnitude of what had just happened. It was chilling to put it mildly, and Justin was growing more uncomfortable with every second Emmanuel carried on with his mundane actions, cleaning up after their play-session. 

“Why would you do that?” He asked, following Emmanuel with his perplexed gaze. “You could have just ended it the night he came here, when you were drunk. You didn’t have to-”

“If I’d made it easy and pleasant,” Emmanuel started, cutting Justin off. “We wouldn’t be even.”

Justin sunk deeper into his current state of disbelief, wanting to assume that Emmanuel was merely making a misplaced joke, to lighten the mood. This, however, was not the case. He’d never expected Emmanuel to take the position of moral superiority, though that being said, he also hadn’t expected Emmanuel to be completely deprived of any and all morals. 

“Will you do that to me someday as well?” He asked bitterly, momentarily throwing off Emmanuel with his comment. “Or do you have something worse in store for me?”

“That depends,” Emmanuel answered, regaining the upper hand. “Are you going to screw me over, and go to the press?”

It seemed to Justin that his question had offended Emmanuel, and that morally void as he was, Emmanuel still took offense to the suggestion that he lacked those same morals. Nevertheless, Justin had nothing more to say, finding it sufficient to shake his head as his only response.

He looked at the watch, almost becoming reminiscent. He remembered the invitation from Clara to join her and the others in the cafeteria for lunch. 

“I’m going,” He said, getting up from the couch, without giving Emmanuel any further goodbyes. 

When he was heading for the elevator, he suddenly wondered if he was supposed to meet up with them in the breakroom, or the cafeteria. Perhaps a third location Clara had failed to mention. He took a guess, heading for the cafeteria despite his uncertainty. 

***

Se-Jin blew a ring of smoke in the face of Lewis, who was sitting across the table, her expression being blank and bored. Brunette Clara didn’t bother reacting to the rude gesture Se-Jin had so generously bestowed upon Lewis. Instead she took a long careless sip of her coffee, while waiting for the noise to ensue. 

“You’re not allowed to smoke indoors,” Lewis answered, response dry as ever. 

“Boohoo, why don’t you fire me then?” Se-Jin clapped back, taking another drag at her cigarette before answering her own question. “Oh that’s right, I own this fucking place.”

Clara rolled her eyes, but didn’t deign the snarky comment a verbal response, simply scanning the cafeteria in search of Justin, hoping that he’d be able to quell the tension. Lewis wasn’t going to take her sass lying down, and he was about to deliver a sharp retort, before Lauren appeared behind Se-Jin.

“Don’t get cocky,” She scolded, taking the cigarette right out of her hand. “You can’t be fired when you’re barely an employee to begin with. Start doing some actual work and I’ll gladly consider firing you.”

She sat down next to her, right across from brunette Clara. Like Se-Jin, she didn’t intend to eat lunch, though placing a bottle of sparkling water in front of her on the table. She took a puff of Se-Jin’s cigarette, much to the displeasure of everyone at the table, including Se-Jin from whom she’d snubbed the cigarette. She then put it out on the bare surface of the table, expressing the carelessness with which she carried herself that day. 

“Being fired is an awful reward for doing your job properly, you know…” Se-Jin argued, about to light another cigarette, then remembering who was sitting next to her. “Not much of an incentive.” 

“You get plenty of rewards already.” Lauren scoffed, drinking from her bottle as to express the period at the end of her sentence. 

As intended, Se-Jin caught onto the playful undertone of the comment, while it went unnoticed by everyone else at the table. It could be interpreted several ways, and Lauren would leave it up to each individual to decide their preferred one, nevertheless knowing that Lewis would choose the most benign one. 

“Look who’s here!” Se-Jin said, with mock enthusiasm, as she spotted Justin approaching their table. “Just in time for… right, what are we doing again?”

Justin sat down next to Lauren, not letting Se-Jin’s tone and strange posture escape him. She was sitting rather oddly on her chair, legs drawn close to her body, and posture somewhat jaded. It wasn’t uncommon to catch her displaying an unusual behavior, though this was something Justin hadn’t seen before. He was curious as to the circumstances that had caused this shift.

“We’re discussing our plans for the week,” Lewis chimed in, pursuing an agenda of his own, while simultaneously dealing with the awkward atmosphere. “Anyone got some exciting things coming up?”

Justin considered for a few seconds, suddenly remembering that his entire week consisted of working, except for a day off on Sunday. It wasn’t something that bothered him, at least not significantly. However, he wasn’t sure if the days would pass by undisturbed after the events that had taken place in Emmanuel’s office just moments prior.

“I’ve got work,” Brunette Clara said, vocalizing Justin’s thoughts unknowingly. “Then I’ve got to teach my son of a bitch husband how to do the laundry properly, and make it clear that there’s a limit to how much coffee I can steal from my workplace. Nothing else much, unless my son throws up on the carpet again, then I suppose I’ll have to make another trip to the dry cleaners.”

When she was finished talking, the entire table had gone quiet, having no idea how to respond to the platter of random information they’d just been served. Clara on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice how her answer had managed to silence her colleagues. 

“My fault for asking…” Lewis said, clearing his throat. “Anyone else?”

Justin thought about saying something, just to keep the conversation flowing. He didn’t have much substance to go from though, so he simply stuffed his mouth unflatteringly, with the loaf of bread he’d brought to the table. It appeared his interjection wouldn’t be necessary luckily, as someone else took initiative.

“I’ve got a date tonight,” Se-Jin proudly declared, though no one seemed particularly surprised. “Yeah sure, I say that every week, but I never get tired of it.”

Lauren merely drank from her bottle, and Clara tapped her fingers on the table restlessly, before taking another sip of her coffee. Justin thought it was strange how Se-Jin apparently was excited for her plans, yet still resembled a more uncomfortable version of herself. 

“I pray for the man who agrees time and time again to go out with you,” Lewis scoffed, jokingly but with a hint of sincerity. 

“Save your prayers,” Se-Jin countered, in what Justin considered to be a de-escalation - until; “It’s not my fault you’re a bitter virgin.”

Lewis laughed sarcastically, while Se-Jin flashed him a self-satisfied smile. Justin could tell there was a long standing unfriendliness between the two of them, which was probably the cause of their testy exchanges. He didn’t know the backstory, and from what he had witnessed so far, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“What about you Clara?” Lewis asked, tone suddenly gentle and upbeat again.

Justin was about to remark how Clara had already shared her plans with them, but quickly remembered that he wasn’t addressing brunette Clara, but Lauren. It would take some time before he’d become used to the shifting names, although he was certain he’d learn at some point, considering how Se-Jin was fairly skilled at just that.

“Home, work, home, work,” Lauren answered, not giving her reply much thought, but merely reciting a routine. “And so on… and on… and on.”

She hadn’t lifted her focus from the distance it was dwelling in, and Justin sensed that she was on her last legs as well. Had something happened while Justin wasn’t present? The mood seemed off in a very unique, and unfamiliar way. It wasn’t particularly pleasant, but Justin couldn’t pinpoint the problem. 

“Sounds like you could use a change for once,” Lewis chuckled charmingly, and Justin could sense a proposition coming. “Why don’t we go somewhere tonight. We both get off from work early, and I’m sure I can help take your mind off of it.”

Justin almost choked on the bread he was stuffing his mouth with, despite having somewhat expected the situation to progress in that direction. He wanted to keep staring into his plate, and try to let the awkwardness pass him by unnoticed. His gaze fell on Se-Jin before he had a chance to mentally escape, and he instantly picked up on the fact that she had seen it coming as well. 

“Sorry virgin-boy but Clara’s busy tonight,” She smiled amicably, though her words were anything but. “And even if she wasn’t, I doubt you’d have a chance. 

Justin was barely paying attention to the snapback that Se-Jin had delivered, contemplating Lewis' offer. He knew Lauren’s schedule by heart, he realized. That in itself was hinting at a type of affection he was sure Lauren, as well as Se-Jin, had been aware of for quite some time. It had been obvious enough for Justin to suspect it relatively fast himself, despite his characteristic cluelessness. 

“Why don’t you let her answer for herself?” Lewis said, keeping the false facade of gentleness, in order to preserve the overall bearable atmosphere. 

Lauren appeared absolutely uncomfortable, but managed to plaster on a smile that could presumably save any situation. Even if her and Lewis would remain on decent terms, Justin was skeptical when it came to the condition of the relation between Se-Jin and Lewis - not that it had been good to begin with.

“I have some work I couldn’t do yesterday, for obvious reasons,” Lauren responded, her tone sweeter than Justin had ever heard it, perhaps to compensate for Se-Jin’s toxicity. “But maybe some other time?”

Justin wasn’t entirely sure if she was lying about her workload, or if she’d actually have to work overtime to make up for what she’d missed the day of the riot. It made sense, but he couldn’t let go of the suspicion that she’d made up an excuse, to let Lewis down easy. It appeared to work.

“Definitely,” Lewis chuckled, yet it was clear he’d suffered a defeat, hinted by Se-Jin’s satisfied smirk. “I’ll be here whenever you feel like it.”

Justin unconsciously cringed, finally having lowered his gaze sufficiently to rest on his plate, giving the impression of absentmindedness. He prayed that another lap of silence wouldn’t ensue, given the increasing discomfort he imagined everyone at the table was experiencing - perhaps with the exception of Se-Jin who was probably reveling in the awkwardness rather than suffering under it. 

“What type of dress is Emmanuel’s favorite to wear?” He asked, vocalizing the first thought that popped into his head. 

Clara was stone faced, while Lewis laughed almost in tandem with Se-Jin, both of them looking annoyed with this fact. Lauren didn’t find it funny in the slightest, despite the laughter being contagious, and the mood becoming lighter almost instantly. Her gaze had become unfocused once again, melting into the view of the city.

“Tight mermaid, black velvet and mesh, sweetheart neckline, elegant and minimalistic,” She stated, as per automatic, immediately realizing what she’d just let slip. “I’d imagine,” She corrected, as all laughter died out. “I haven’t asked. Nor would I.” 

Justin spaced out completely as the image formed in his head, bizarre but extraordinarily entertaining. He undoubtedly wasn’t the only one with that thought, seeing as everyone else at the table had a deeply troubled expression painted across their faces. It felt like breaking a rule to even allow such a picture to form in his head, but Justin would have it imprinted there for a considerable amount of time onward.

“Red satin, corset, tight but relatively classy,” Se-Jin nodded to herself, adding another inappropriate image to the pile that was steadily growing within their minds. “I’ll agree it has to be something formal.” 

Justin wasn’t sure which of the two options he preferred, or whether it was supposed to be alarming that they were discussing their superior in such a manner. It wasn’t that he hadn’t fantasized about Emmanuel wearing something feminine, and the pink apron still resided within his conscience, leaving a sweet aftertaste when it wavered. It couldn’t be erased that easily.

“Lime green-” Lewis started, before Clara cut him off.

“Not green, and especially not lime green,” She shook her head resolutely, despite the protest from the rest of the table, indicating that she was standing alone with that opinion. “I don’t care, green is a no go, and that’s a fact.”

“What about leopard print?” Lewis then suggested, though this time there really was a resounding no. “No animal prints at all?” He then asked, getting another no. “Too department store slutty? Then how about cat ears? Or a tail? Or maybe both?”

“How about ending that conversation here?” Lauren asked, although it was more of an order than a question, and Justin was surprised Se-Jin hadn’t been the one to break off the progressively indecent discussion. “Lunch is over in 10 minutes, and I’ve got a bottle to recycle.”

She stood up as abruptly as she’d sat down, taking her bottle with her. Justin could only assume that it was an excuse to get out before the uneasiness became even more intense. He figured the rest of them would stay back and finish lunch, however Se-Jin was in the heels of Lauren in a surprisingly short amount of time. 

“See you all later,” Lewis said, as he made his departure as well, standing up from the table, and heading towards the elevators. 

And then they were two. It appeared as if both Lewis’ and Se-Jin’s motivation to have lunch in the cafeteria had vanished when Lauren left. Of course, Justin wasn’t displeased with spending the last 9 minutes with Clara alone, though there was a silence waiting to be filled, which Justin found to be slightly awkward. 

He gazed at her searchingly, realizing that while Lauren had - though unintentionally - let her name become known to him, Clara had not. There was a slim chance her name actually happened to be Clara, but Justin had to review that possibility with a grain of salt. He’d tried to link a name to her eyes the first time they’d met, and Clara had not been his first guess, nor his second, or third for that matter. 

“What’s your name?” He asked, feeling the words slip out of his mouth in advance of his own thinking. “Your real name,” He clarified, as if it hadn’t been obvious to her. 

He wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask, pending a permission from Emmanuel that he hadn’t thought to ask for. Was there any harm in trying? He might as well make an attempt, even as the fear of yet another reprimand was steadily rising. It wasn’t clear to him how much information she was filled in on, and so he wouldn’t go further than simply asking for her real identity.

“Clara,” She answered, much to Justin’s skepticism. “Why are you asking.”

It wasn’t a question, which indicated that she had no interest whatsoever in finding out what had spurred on the unlikely question. Nevertheless, Justin did not find her reply to be the least bit credible, and he was intent on continuing his search for relevant information, regardless of her reluctance to rely any of it to him. 

“Lauren told me about… your agreement with Emmanuel in terms of the names you use here,” He explained, wondering if giving her reassurance in his own knowledge would make her more inclined to trade some of it. “I’ll continue to call you Clara, I would just really like to know your real name.”

She looked at him with an expression hinting hesitation, and Justin was absolutely sure he’d won her over, since she wasn’t one to take decisions in doubt unless she would end up giving in. Justin had come to know her quite well, despite the limited time he’d been employed, and small quirks and tendencies were becoming clear to him with every passing day. 

“Dawn,” She answered, not giving the statement more substance than that.

Justin thought it fit somewhat well. The longer he let the name soak in, the better he seemed to be able to apply the name in the context of a thought that involved her. As with Lauren, getting the names mixed up and nearly using the wrong ones at different times seemed almost inevitable, and it was bound to occur at some point or other. This, however, didn’t disincentivize him from seeking the names of the Clara’s he had yet to familiarize himself with. 

“I like that,” He told her, finding his own words to be slightly awkward as he said them, though he did not regret them. “You look like a Dawn, so it’s very fitting.”

She smiled ever so subtly, and then her expression was neutral again. She didn’t find it relevant to continue on that topic and they remained quiet the remaining 5 minutes. They returned to the elevators together, and somehow Justin felt like they’d just gotten considerably closer.

***

Justin had left for lunch moments earlier and Emmanuel was fidgeting irritably with his camera, experiencing a tad of restlessness. He hadn’t imagined ending things on such a note with Pedro, but he had expected every time Pedro left, that this time would certainly be the last. At that exact moment he was absolutely sure however. Both he and Pedro had managed to commit an act that delivered irreparable damage to their relationship. There was no going back.

He stood up from his chair, oddly tempted to seek out Justin in the cafeteria, now that he relied solely on him for the gratification he’d otherwise get from PT, and knowing that Dawn as well as Se-Jin had mentioned Justin would likely join them for lunch. He was never going to admit it to himself, but there was also an intermingling instinct that led him to pursue company to make him more content with the decision he’d made in regards to Pedro. Not that he needed someone other than himself to approve of his actions, of course. 

He had to force himself not to consider the outcome of the situation just prior if Justin had not been present. If he had nothing to fall back on, it was likely that he’d have ignored Pedro’s wrongdoing for the purpose of keeping any further tension out of their sessions. Having Justin as a safeguard made it possible for Emmanuel to distance himself from whatever wreckage was left of his relationship with Pedro.

While he had work to complete, Emmanuel was fairly convinced that he wouldn’t be able to maintain focus to an efficient extent, and so he decided that joining Justin and the others for lunch would be preferable to sitting alone in his office, unable to concentrate - despite the bitter tone of Justin’s voice when he’d walked out. He didn’t need much more convincing than that from himself, and with that he left his office.

When he got out, his steps went to a halt in front of Justin’s desk and he paused. He realized that he’d come to appreciate the intense staring that he caught Justin in, and the way his every movement was observed with adoration. He appreciated the small gestures of affection, and Justin’s careful advances. This was the cause of his indifference to Pedro he guessed. He hadn’t felt any urge to change course or leave any doors ajar in case Justin were to be an idle shot in the dark. 

When he’d gotten to the first step of the stairway, his senses caught a disturbance in his path, and he was standing in front of Pedro. It was almost too convenient a coincidence with the subject matter of his contemplations. He blinked twice to confirm the reality of his surroundings, then he promptly stepped past the person blocking his objective. 

“Emmanuel,” Pedro said, catching Emmanuel’s wrist as he turned to him. “Don’t do something we both know you’ll regret.”

Emmanuel pulled away, stubbornly continuing his casual steps down the staircase with Pedro in tow. He didn’t dare engage in the argument, knowing it was a dead end, and fearing that he’d fall down the rabbithole if he spared Pedro even a single second of his time. This didn’t seem to solve the obstacle of Pedro’s insistence however, and he’d almost reached his destination when he finally turned sharply on his heel.

“I thought I told you not to show up here again,” He sneered, not letting the difference in height intimidate him, as was customary.

“Good thing I never left then,” Pedro retorted cleverly, stepping closer to gain a sliver of dominance that Emmanuel usually reserved for himself. “Keep the picture for all I care, but don’t think the plaything you’re taking advantage of currently will stick around. He’ll discover some of the ugly traits you try to conceal, and then he’s gone. So if you end this agreement between us, I won’t give you another chance.”

Emmanuel licked his lips in sheer disbelief. He considered taking his leave without saying another word, to underline the fact that the conversation was over. The petty side of him begged to have the last say though, and he couldn’t resist delivering a final insult to sear in the open wound.

“I’m not one to dig through the garbage for leftovers.”

It only took him a second to discover that he should have kept the last line to himself.

***

Justin and Dawn were headed for the elevators, and when she’d pressed the button, Justin caught Pedro exiting the door to the stairway. This was a peculiar and unlikely situation, considering that PT had ended long ago, and that it wasn’t necessary for Pedro to use the staircase, as he wasn’t the one with a fear of small spaces. 

His heart nearly leapt as Pedro joined him and Dawn at the elevators, waiting for the one that was heading down. Had he gone back to see Emmanuel when Justin had left? It seemed to be the most sensible explanation, taking into account that Pedro had no other errands requiring his attendance in that specific building, besides PT, or seeing Emmanuel under other circumstances. 

Dawn appeared taken aback as well when her gaze landed upon the person standing next to them, and she furrowed her brow in confusion at the unlikely scene. Justin could tell that she was at least somewhat well versed in Emmanuel’s private life, since she was aware that Pedro was not supposed to be there, and that something was without a doubt going on, which should unsettle them. 

Her eyes met Justin’s and for a few seconds they were more or less successfully trying to communicate through eye contact. Although words were needed to get the exact intentions of their non verbal cues across, they nevertheless managed to agree for Justin to handle it, in the assumption it would be more efficient that way.

The elevator going up arrived first, and Dawn stepped onto it, giving Justin a subtle nod to confirm their plan. Justin remained still, not wanting Pedro to catch on, though almost entirely sure his eyes had conveyed a sufficient affirmation. He stepped onto the other elevator with Pedro once the doors opened, while his mind was running on overdrive, contemplating every situation that could have provoked the one he was currently in. 

He took a quick glance at Pedro who pressed the button to the ground floor, and he realized that it was now or never since Pedro was on his way out. He took a deep breath, and though he wished to assume everything was as it should be, he could tell that something had to be out of place for him to be sharing an elevator with this exact person. 

“Why are you still here?” He asked with a calm voice, as to not further escalate the situation, which he had yet to fully understand. “You were on your way to leave the last time I saw you, yet you’re only now on the elevator.”

Pedro didn’t seem to be in the mood to answer any of Justin’s questions, presumably wanting to leave the building as soon as the moment allowed for him to do just that. He didn’t bother confirming that he’d indeed understood Justin with a simple nod or glance, merely standing still in the place he’d occupied when they’d gotten on the elevator.

“I don’t agree with what Emmanuel did either,” Justin stated, figuring he’d express some sympathy while simultaneously sharing his own frustration concerning Emmanuel, expecting Pedro to consider him an ally rather than a rival, now that they had something in common - in that regard perhaps. “I don’t know much about your relationship with him, but it sounds like you’re better off apart-”

“Don’t act like we’re the same you and I,” Pedro cut him off, temporarily losing his composure as he snapped at Justin. “I’m not a mere employee or disposable. I’ve known Emmanuel since we were kids, and I’ve done more for him than you could possibly imagine. He’s indebted to me, and when he loses interest in you, I’ll get a call from Se-Jin telling me he’s drunk in a fucking ditch somewhere.”

Justin didn’t know how much of the information Pedro had relayed to him was accurate, nor if any of it actually was. Some of it reflected what Lauren had told him, and the description of Emmanuel’s tendencies was relatively fitting, based off of what Justin himself had been witness to. 

“Then why are you still here?” Justin asked, not understanding the behavior Pedro was displaying. “You have no affection towards him, quite the opposite, but you haven’t stopped coming when you’re asked for? You don’t have to keep doing this, but you refuse not to.”

He had his own motivations fueling his words, and if nothing else, he could at least prevent Pedro from coming back on his own or Emmanuel’s accord. Erasing any incentive for him to return seemed like the most obvious solution to Justin’s own problem, which happened to be Pedro.

“Right,” He answered, crossing his arms as he thought of an excuse for his pitiable actions, while Justin looked at him questioningly. “This time is the last.”

Justin barely had a chance to register his words before they’d reached the ground floor, and Pedro stepped out immediately. Why was he in such a hurry, and what had his purpose been with revisiting Emmanuel? Justin couldn’t shake the feeling that Pedro’s words had been too definitive, whether or not it truly was a permanent departure. Something had taken place without his knowledge, that he could be certain of.

“What did you do?” He asked, taking hasty steps to keep up with Pedro who was determined to shake him off.

They were almost entirely outside when he’d built up enough nerve to reach out and grab Pedro’s sleeve, forcing him to answer the question. The sense of catastrophe was coaxing Justin into rash last options, such as calling out for security to stop Pedro before he’d fled entirely. 

Even this was unlikely to work, taking into account that security probably wouldn’t obey a command coming from a mere assistant, over the man in an expensive suit whom they undoubtedly recognized as a frequent visitor of Emmanuel’s. Surely Justin didn’t have that kind of authority. 

“I’m only going to say this once,” Pedro hissed, almost grabbing Justin by the collar before he remembered that they were in the company of other people. “What he did to me, he’ll do to you.”

That line struck Justin in the center of his paranoia, and the self conscious thoughts that had circled his mind repeatedly. He’d found himself several times, waiting to be discarded and replaced by someone better suited to satisfy Emmanuel in that characteristic emotionally-deprived manner. He didn’t want to let Pedro’s words stir up additional mistrust and discord between him and Emmanuel, but it was difficult to dismiss the similarities that his situation and Pedro’s shared - not to mention every other assistant Emmanuel had had before him. 

Even with all the contemplations he caught himself having, the circumstances called for him to stay on course. He was convinced that Emmanuel wouldn’t reveal what he and Pedro had discussed in Justin’s absence, especially not out of his own volition. And as it turned out, Pedro wasn’t eager to share his perspective either.

“I don’t care,” Justin answered, utterly unaware of whether he’d been sincere when expressing that position. “Where’s Emmanuel?”

He knew that the answer he’d receive would most likely be ‘in his office’ which was a seemingly credible statement had Justin not witnessed Pedro exiting the door to the stairway. If they’d had their unscheduled meeting in Emmanuel’s office then Pedro would’ve taken the elevator, rather than the stairs.

“You’ve already done so much damage to each other,” Justin argued, sensing that Pedro needed more convincing before their conversation could progress. “At least end things the right way,” He pleaded, hoping that his reasoning would be effective. “You did say this time is the last. Be the bigger person.”

Pedro sighed, and his eyes met Justin’s. It was the first time Justin had seen regret painting his features, and a resoluteness akin to this in his expression. People were rushing past them from every which direction, and their sleeves brushed against the fabric of the clothes of strangers.

“The stairway to the cafeteria,” Pedro said, and Justin waited for the details, knowing that he could expect a truthful answer. 

“Locked in the utility closet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to me being a small town hoe who doesn't know how elevators work


	7. Affliction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Government conveniently closed all the churches today... on Christmas. Almost as depressing as this chapter. Enjoy.

“Your exact words were ‘Maybe some other time’ when, let’s be clear, you’re not actually going out with him,” Se-Jin clarified, resting her hip against the marble countertop. “Ever,” She emphasized. 

Lauren simply hummed mindlessly, not catching on to Se-Jin’s dismay, as she focused her attention on applying her red lipstick, with the help of the reflection in the mirror. They happened to be the only ones in the women’s restroom, which was the reason Lauren allowed her to mouth off about the irrelevant proposition that Lewis had presented during lunch.

“Then you should’ve told him to fuck off,” Se-Jin growled, obviously dissatisfied with Lauren’s inadequate rejection.

She was familiar with the frequent gentleness that occurred between Lewis and Lauren, despite this being highly uncharacteristic of her in the context of any other social interaction, even with Emmanuel as the other participant in said interaction. Although it was rare, hostility could sometimes arise from the otherwise neutral attitude that Lauren and Emmanuel directed at each other. 

“No I don’t think I will,” Lauren stated, ignoring the unspoken request from Se-Jin, though completely aware of the vexation this would undoubtedly cause. “Why do you care anyway? Our agreement doesn't extend to the other six days of the week. As far as I’m concerned, you have nothing to complain about.”

Se-Jin groaned, knowing her argument had fallen flat, and that Lauren was essentially right, as much as it bothered her to admit it. Which was exactly why she would in fact not admit it, instead adopting a physical tactic to replace the idle verbal one. She waited patiently for Lauren to finish overlining with her lipstick, taking into account that an advance could not be made if she was busy correcting a mistake resulting from Se-Jin distracting her as she was applying her makeup.

“You know damn well why it bothers me,” Se-Jin smirked, leaning in before Lauren had a chance to escape the topic. “Can I borrow some lipstick?”

Her tone was sweet and flirtatious, but nevertheless failed to convince Lauren. As she was moving forth to borrow the red lipstick, in a very unconventional manner, Lauren made a teasing motion, as if reciprocating. When their lips were a mere inch apart, and Se-Jin was about to seal the deal, Lauren pressed the uncapped lipstick against her mouth, painting a red line running down to under her chin, with the upper lip as a starting point. 

Se-Jin sighed, rolling her eyes as Lauren’s grin widened gleefully. The attempt had been doomed from the beginning, and Se-Jin had expected this outcome. She wasn’t surprised, although a humble hope hadn’t escaped her, since she vividly remembered how Lauren had accepted the last display of affection in the break room, after their argument. 

“It suits you,” Lauren teased, still tauntingly close to her, drawing her in. “Be a dear and wear it more often.”

Se-Jin chuckled, and with a devilish wink she managed to distract Lauren sufficiently to carry out her initial intent. She surged forward, and caught Lauren’s lips fervently, causing a slight startle before they both melted into the action. Lauren quickly recalled the face paint she’d gotten away with gifting Se-Jin, and which now unflatteringly decorated her as well. She pulled back, instantly examining her lips in the mirror to discover that her lipstick had been smeared to a ridiculous degree. 

“What? You told me it looked good,” Se-Jin laughed hysterically, as Lauren stared at her reflection with a look of disbelief at the wasted effort put into the meticulous overlining. “I’m just returning the favor.”

While Se-Jin presumably had a blast in that particular moment, Lauren was not. She wiped off the lipstick, getting ready to reapply it, when suddenly Se-Jin’s phone rang. She started overlining once again, while Se-Jin cleared her throat, then answering the call. She kept an observant eye on her through the mirror, and immediately knew that something was not right. 

“What is it?” She asked, turning to Se-Jin. “Who are you talking-”

Se-Jin let the phone slip right out of her hand, as her expression froze into one of absolute consternation, relaying all the information Lauren needed to know. Indeed, the hunch had been correct, and the atmosphere that hovered in the quiet space was no longer one of lightness and playful humor.

***

Justin Got off the phone with Se-Jin as there was no person on the other end of the phone, apparently having vanished with the piercing sound of a shattering screen that had been the last noise he’d received through the connection. He was well aware that he’d expressed a message that was deeply troubling, and even he was struggling to keep his own phone secured in his grasp, due to the tremor. 

He was mumbling swear words at the elevator which was moving excruciatingly slow, and failing to reach the right floor fast enough to satisfy his urgency. He was pacing within the four walls of the elevator, suddenly understanding Emmanuel’s disdain of the cage-like environment which it contained. 

He wasn’t sure who would reach the closet first, nor who would be the most equipped to deal with the situation awaiting them. He imagined that Se-Jin was familiar with what Justin was about to witness, indicated by her severe reaction to his phone call. It wasn’t surprising though, and he was fairly certain that he’d display the same kind of shock, were he faced with that scenario. 

When the doors finally opened, letting him proceed in his search for the utility closet, he nearly crashed into Se-Jin who was a mere step ahead of him. He followed her fast pace, almost on cue, and he only realized that Lauren was behind him when her heels clashed with the ground a short distance behind him and Se-Jin. It was evident that she fared quite well in her stilettos, even at that velocity. 

“To your right!” She called out to Justin, pointing out the side at which the stairway was located, and that it was right up ahead. 

He reacted swiftly, Matching Se-Jin’s movement to smoothly slip through the door, recognizing it as the one Pedro had exited. The light was dampened, and slightly more yellow in its flare. His eyes darted from each corner to the next, until a black door next to the staircase caught his gaze. 

Se-Jin stopped in front of it, her eyes blank and empty. She was entirely still, and the haste with which her frame had sprinted forth prior to that, had seeped out of her movements. She was now confronted with a fear of her own. Justin was determined to be patient, but he had an urgency of his own, pleading for him to enter right that instant. If that was an option, Se-Jin would have acted on that instinct herself, seeing as she clearly harbored it. 

“I don’t hear anything…” She whispered, voice breaking with dread.

Lauren took a tentative step closer, her eyes being just as blank when they rested on the door. Justin didn’t understand the supposed despair the lack of screaming apparently provoked, since it usually wasn’t the brightest of signs. Lauren appeared to comprehend the meaning fully, and Justin could’ve sworn she’d given up any hope of a tolerable outcome in advance, much to his alarm.

She took Se-Jin’s hand briefly, as a small gesture of reassurance, then approaching the door with relative detachment. Justin suddenly didn’t feel prepared for it either, in spite of his previous restlessness. It was as if they were facing something quite more severe than a utility closet, though perhaps they actually were.

She reached out for the lock, and they all experienced the low click resonating within them. It was agonizingly nerve wracking to be present for every minimal step of progress, when what they’d find would only cause more affliction. When Lauren took a hold of the door handle, Justin could sense the anxiety rising in Se-Jin who was still standing in front of him unmoving. 

“Justin, you need to go in first,” Lauren choked, nodding at the closet for Justin to go in before them. “Se-Jin and I will stay here for a second.”

Her tone was somewhat cold, though Justin was certain it was a mere front, meant to disguise the fact that she was barely keeping herself together. He was about to take the first few steps towards the door, but before he had a chance to move, Se-Jin was supporting herself against the wall, hyperventilating. She was hunched over, and Justin soon found out why when she started throwing up.

Lauren was at her side almost in the same second, seemingly having predicted the situation, and Justin would have offered his assistance as well, had he not been preoccupied with the closet already. He knew that Lauren had requested that he go in first, to take her place as she tended to Se-Jin in the meantime. 

Justin entered the closet, and the first thing to make an impression on him was the smell of blood, which was all-consuming. Then came the realization of darkness, that lay like a heavy fog in the small space. It was so dark he could not make out a figure anywhere inside, almost causing him to wonder if Emmanuel had already made it out somehow. 

He looked behind him for a lightswitch, and felt his way towards one that he fumbled with impatiently, until finally the room lit up. His eyes widened at the sight of the door, which was decorated with blood and scratch marks extending across almost the entire surface. He turned to see Emmanuel curled up on the floor unconscious, and he instantly fell to his knees beside him.

The source of the blood was quite obvious, and Justin examined the missing fingernails on Emmanuel’s torn hands, sensing the nausea taking over, like it had with Se-Jin. He didn’t want to touch the wounds, afraid to aggravate them, yet he still had an urge to take his hand, and hold it tightly. Instead he laid a hand on Emmanuel’s forehead which was burning up, carefully leaning down to kiss it.

The blood was all over the floor as well, and Justin assumed Emmanuel had writhed there with fear, though he was extremely reluctant to picture it, as he knew how much pain would arise thereof. It was already too distressing to imagine Emmanuel as panic stricken as he’d been in the elevator, but this time alone.

He instead left the state of the floor to his subconscious mind, where it would remain longer than he could possibly predict. When he glanced at Emmanuel’s hands once again, he was merely hoping that he hadn’t suffered any other physical injuries. Psychological injuries were another ordeal however.

Due to the extensive wounds, Justin had been too distracted to realize what he now did. His heart nearly stopped for good, and he wasn’t confident it would start beating again. It did however, at the sound of Lauren’s careful steps that entered the closet. Justin could tell that this was one of the things she’d been worried about. 

“I’ll find a new set of clothes,” She said, leaving as quickly as she’d entered. 

Justin redirected his attention, letting it be consumed by the helpless person in front of him. The shirt needed to be changed, as it was tainted with dried blood and sweat. The pants also required changing, and Justin tried not to focus on the soaked fabric around the crotch area. He instead took out his phone, dialing 911 as he ran a gentle hand through Emmanuel’s hair, though he wasn’t awake to feel it.

“What are you doing.” Se-Jin asked, with a strained voice as she stumbled forward with uneasy steps. “Drop the goddamn phone Justin.”

He wasn’t sure if she’d thought that he was doing something inappropriate with it, but Justin hadn’t expected such a severe reaction to what he’d been trying to do. He was reluctant to follow her order, perceiving it as important that help would arrive as soon as possible. Even drained of her energy and unstable on her feet, Justin couldn’t deny that she was as intimidating as she usually was.

“I’m calling an ambulance,” He reassured her, about to press ‘call’ when the phone was knocked out of his hand. “What did you just-”

“No fucking ambulance!” She growled, stomping his phone nearly flat, and turning her heel to crush it completely for good measure. “If anyone sees, if anyone knows, if it gets out somewhere or other - we’re all done. We need to get him upstairs somehow, and into his office. Can you carry him?”

Justin nodded automatically, before he’d thought about what he was agreeing to, however not intending to refuse either way. He trusted Se-Jin’s judgement, though a bit less after her aggressive destruction of his phone, nevertheless more than he probably trusted himself to handle the situation accordingly. He wasn’t eager to do anything hasty before they’d agreed upon the route via which they’d make it back to the office however.

“It’s not far with the elevator,” He proposed, knowing that Emmanuel would have resisted that plan with every fiber of his being, had he been awake. “He’s not conscious so perhaps it’ll be manageable to bring him with us.”

Se-Jin appeared to hesitate despite her regular decisiveness, and Justin started placing Emmanuel comfortably in his arms as he waited for her to make a decision. There were several factors that she needed to take into account, and Justin could guess a few of them. They had to avoid anyone seeing Emmanuel in that state, which meant that they had to find the way where the likelihood of running into someone was minimal.

Emmanuel had already sustained some severe trauma, and were he to wake up in the elevator then this could possibly worsen things substantially. The stairs were an option but not a reliable one considering Justin’s physical capabilities. Emmanuel wasn’t that heavy, but there were a whole lot of steps, and tripping could injure both he and his superior. The elevator was safer, that he was almost entirely certain of. 

“Alright, let’s do it,” Se-Jin agreed, nodding to herself as if she was giving herself permission and not Justin. “We need to hurry.”

Justin got up, carrying Emmanuel in his arms protectively. He looked at Se-Jin for instructions, and almost stumbled as he discovered that she was taking off her shirt. He couldn’t get a single sentence, let alone word, out. She was soon standing in her bra as the only piece of clothing covering her chest, while Justin merely stared. 

“There,” She said, adjusting the shirt in Emmanuel’s lap to cover him up. “We can’t do anything about the bloody shirt, but at least…” She paused, not sure how to proceed with her sentence, ending it there.

She headed for the exit of the stairway, and Justin was right behind her, following her out into the hallway. Se-Jin turned her head constantly to keep an eye on their surroundings, while Justin reserved his focus for Emmanuel who was still unconscious, despite the rapid movements that were part of being carried at that pace. 

They were standing in front of the elevator waiting, and Se-Jin muttered something Justin could only assume were swear words, until finally the elevator arrived and the doors opened. They both flinched when they were inevitably met with the employees about to step off the elevator, and every one of them froze. It was only then that Justin realized what an odd sight he, Se-Jin and Emmanuel was. 

He was carrying the head of the company in his arms bridal-style, and he happened to be accompanied by the sister of said superior, who was shirtless. The blood did not help ease their appearance, quite the opposite in fact. Se-Jin was quick to take initiative however, and Justin was very thankful he was not one of the bewildered employees standing in front of them.

“Out,” She ordered, gesturing for them to get out immediately, and they obeyed without hesitation, though obviously taken aback. 

Justin stepped on as soon as there was room, and Se-Jin pressed the button to get them to the top floor. They held their breaths, and prayed Emmanuel would stay unconscious until they were out of the elevator once again. It was only a few minutes, however to them days could’ve passed without them being able to discern the difference. 

Finally the doors opened once again, and Se-Jin stepped out first with Justin in tow, taking fast steps to avoid spending more time than needed in a space accessible to other employees. This didn’t seem possible without complications however, and they were causing quite a commotion. They were soon surrounded by women in color coded attire, flocking around them to learn more about the condition of their employer. It was natural to be curious, but Se-Jin wasn’t lenient when under pressure, as she clearly was.

“Get back to work!” She yelled, and Justin himself managed to become significantly more frightened than he already was. “Right now!”

The hall was empty in less than 5 seconds, and the path to the office was available once again. No one had dared to defy the order, and Justin supposed it was a talent that ran in the family. Indeed, both her and Emmanuel could not be persuaded to obey anyone but themselves, though more than happy to extend their own orders to everyone and anyone if they so pleased. Justin had never seen that characteristic present itself so aggressively in Se-Jin before though, and he was surprised to learn that her lungs had not burst as a result of the volume with which she’d yelled.

They entered the office, and while Justin lay Emmanuel on the couch, Se-Jin took care of the blinds so that the scene within the office would be concealed behind them. Justin knelt beside the couch, resuming the gentle caresses in Emmanuel’s hair, and Se-Jin joined him soon after with antiseptic wipes for Emmanuel’s hands, and a blanket to replace her shirt that still rested in his lap.

“Could you…?” She started, handing Justin the wipes for the wounds, as she stepped past him to take care of the blanket. “T-Then I-”

She stopped herself as soon as the stutter had occurred, and Justin caught himself in a gasp. He hadn’t heard her stutter like that before, and it wasn’t something he’d expected to either. With some difficulty he managed to redirect his gaze to her, and he realized that she was trembling violently as she attempted to steady her hand long enough to remove her shirt from Emmanuel’s lap.

“Why don’t I do that, and you can clean the injuries?” He proposed, and handed back the wipes, recognizing that she had no judgements in regards to the state of the pants, but was struggling with the fact that Emmanuel most certainly would have those judgements towards himself. “We can change them while he’s still…” Justin started, referring to Emmanuel’s current condition. “He doesn’t have to know.”

“No,” Se-Jin promptly responded, shaking her head. “We’re not taking off his clothes without his consent.”

Justin hadn’t thought about it that way, and when he studied his own suggestion further, he very quickly realized the flaws. He apologized, but Se-Jin didn’t seem bothered in any real sense, mostly busy with cleaning the wounds at that point. Justin supposed he had to get on with his own task, and he sat down on the coffee table. He carefully removed Se-Jin’s shirt, and before he put the blanket over the wet fabric, he took a second to simply contemplate the reality of the circumstances.

The problem of reality in that moment was that it didn’t feel real. He hadn’t prepared himself for such a situation, as it hadn’t crossed his mind even once that it could be possible. While he felt troubled, there was also a sense of comfort in what he was silently observing. At least this time he wasn’t the one to be humiliated. Not that he’d wished for Emmanuel to be, of course.

“The blanket,” Se-Jin said, having caught Justin being stuck in his reveries. “Please.”

Justin snapped out of his daze, about to lay the blanket over Emmanuel, when the door was opened behind them abruptly. Se-Jin stood up defensively, and Justin flinched at the unforeseen startle. Lauren entered the office, holding a pile of clean clothes on her arm, putting it down next to Justin on top of the coffee table. She took the blanket out of his hands, and covered Emmanuel.

As she started cleaning the injuries on Emmanuel’s other hand, Justin studied the clothes she’d brought. There were underwear among the items, and Justin almost had to suspect that they’d deliberately prepared for such an event, perhaps having experienced it before in the past.

“Should I get something to-” He was about to ask, but Lauren beat him to it.

“We need a bowl of water with some soap, so that he can…” She stated, like Se-Jin struggling to finish her own sentence. “Right, Justin will you?” 

He stood up dutifully, though he would most likely have done just that without her cue. When he closed the door behind himself, he had to resist his urge to stay in the place where he could monitor Emmanuel. He wasn’t distrustful of Lauren or Se-Jin, however he felt that he couldn’t with good conscience abandon Emmanuel, even if it was only for a few minutes. 

***

“I need a bowl,” He panted, having almost sprinted to the breakroom, as he wanted to return to the office as soon as he’d fulfilled the task. “And soap. Possibly hand soap.”

He was aware that the request was slightly odd, but in that moment he only had enough mental faculty for one worry at a time. Regardless, they had all witnessed the events in the hall, and quite frankly he didn’t care what they thought, or how it looked. Dawn was the first to react, and as if everyone else in the room understood the situation, they cleared out, leaving Justin and Dawn to have a private correspondence. 

“I take it we were right to expect ill-intent from Pedro?” She asked, grabbing an unopened bottle of hand soap from under the sink. “What happened?”

Justin took an impulsive step in nearly every direction, before realizing that he had no clue where the bowls were. He had been employed too long to not know and it was somewhat ridiculous that he didn’t have the slightest idea of where to search. Dawn noticed his uncertain movements and pointed to a cupboard above the coffee machine. 

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to tell you anything,” He answered, taking the largest bowl he caught sight of. “I don’t even think I was meant to know, honestly. I just happened to be the one who spotted Pedro.”

Dawn turned on the faucet, and Justin slipped the bowl under the running water. It wasn’t that he had no interest in filling her in on what had happened, but he didn’t have Emmanuel’s permission to do so, and in addition he doubted he’d get it. Dawn would have to ask someone with more authority, though Justin was sure the entire story would never escape the small inner circle of Emmanuel’s. 

“I saw the blood,” She mumbled, sounding understandably concerned. “Is that what you need the water and soap for? You should find some real medical supplies Justin. Why don’t we call an ambulance in case this is more serious than it seems?”

Justin hadn’t considered that. He only saw the external injuries, but what would be the right course of action if Emmanuel had sustained internal injuries, or hit his head somehow? In which case would calling for appropriate help be taken as a betrayal if it was for Emmanuel’s own good?

“I was told not to do that,” He ended up replying, not sure if he’d made the right decision when dismissing her concern. “It’s not up to us. I would’ve done that myself, but it’s simply not my call to make.”

She appeared to find his reasoning acceptable, and she handed him the soap with a simple nod to confirm that she understood. Justin gave her a smile of appreciation, taking the bowl under his arm and the soap in his hand. If he’d been the one that was left out of the loop, surely he wouldn’t have reacted as reasonably as her. 

“Thanks.”

***

Justin had left a mere second before, but Lauren had several questions that were piling up as time passed from when they’d found Emmanuel. She waited three additional seconds, then continuing with her agenda of gathering a full picture of the events that had occurred.

“How the hell did this happen?” She sighed, while Se-Jin quietly cleaned Emmanuel’s wounds with cautious movements. “What went so wrong at PT that Pedro would even consider doing something like this?”

Se-Jin didn’t appear to have much of a response, and she simply paused long enough to at least confirm that she’d registered Lauren’s questions. She went on with her careful clean-up, however ceased to do so when her gaze landed on Emmanuel. His expression was almost untouched by the agony he’d undoubtedly been in while locked in the closet, and she momentarily allowed herself to imagine his pleas for the aid that failed to reach him soon enough. 

“What do we do?” She asked, desperation flaring in her otherwise tired tone. “When he wakes up he’ll-”

“Justin will take care of his mental state, but the physical injuries will most likely be excruciating to recover from, and it’ll take some time,” Lauren answered, knowing exactly where Se-Jin was going with her sentence. “As for our role…” She continued, sighing as she thought it through. “We’ll do what we’ve always done; pretend it never happened, and go on as per the usual arrangement.”

Se-Jin didn’t oppose the course of action Lauren had presented, however she didn’t endorse it either, perhaps wanting to stray from what was ‘usual’ so to speak. There wasn’t much for them to do though, seeing as they could not change what had occurred, nor influence Emmanuel’s resulting mindset, knowing his stubbornness and independence. Playing pretend was a great deal easier than facing reality. 

“Then do we just wait for him to forget?” Se-Jin scoffed, finally identifying a flaw in her plan. “That’s not going to happen. He won’t forget.” She concluded, voice becoming smaller with every word she said. “This will destroy him.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Lauren stated bitterly. “He’ll manage. Perhaps we should be more worried about Justin. He’s the one who’ll be an outlet for whatever humiliation and frustration Emmanuel is experiencing.”

Se-Jin raised her head with a startle, as if she’d only just learned of this inappropriate tendency of Emmanuel’s. She’d witnessed it first hand though, and that was presumably the cause of her worry. If she knew Justin as well as she thought, he’d stick around long enough to regret it.

“Emmanuel wouldn’t do anything to him,” She replied, brushing off her own concern stubbornly, wanting to deny the simple fact of the matter, even if it meant being proven wrong. “He doesn’t have Pedro to fall back on anymore. Justin will be fine.” 

The person in question coincidentally returned, carrying a bowl of water in one hand and a bottle of soap in the other. He put the items on the coffee table, and stood by for another task, although he didn’t have to offer himself as an errand-runner. He usually obeyed Emmanuel, but for obvious reasons that wasn’t currently an option.

“Thank you Justin,” Lauren said, out of common decency which Se-Jin apparently didn’t bother minding as she instead remained occupied by her own concerns. “Can you stay overtime today? That is, if you don’t mind of course. I’ll make sure it goes in your paycheck.”

Justin was taken aback by the request, considering it perfectly evident that he intended to stay unless given any other instruction by Emmanuel himself. There was no argument that could convince him not to at least wait for Emmanuel to regain consciousness, and though he was relieved to find out that he was allowed - and even asked - to stay, he was surprised to learn that they thought he would leave before he was absolutely certain that Emmanuel was mentally and physically stable.

“I’ll stay, but I’m not accepting any money for it” He merely answered, feeling somewhat entrusted with Emmanuel’s well-being. “Is there something specific you need me to take care of?”

He wanted to make himself useful, and Lauren appeared pleased with this, possibly about to give him another task. They were soon preoccupied with something else however, as Emmanuel seemed to be waking up. It was only a slight twitch of his hand at first, which caught their attention, and then the situation escalated rapidly.

“He’s still out of it,” Se-Jin warned, seemingly familiar with the dysfunction in lucidity Emmanuel was exhibiting. 

Justin didn’t fully understand the meaning of her words until Emmanuel’s breathing became too rigid to qualify as natural. His eyes shot open, drawing a gasp from Justin, and prompting Lauren and Se-Jin to switch places so that Lauren was kneeling at Emmanuel’s head. It appeared an intricate part of a ritual Justin was not required for, and so he stood locked in a step provoked by his instinct to aid his superior who was in obvious distress.

Se-Jin, though one of the closest allies of Emmanuel, likewise halted her previous frantic movements, almost as a cue signaling preparedness for what was to come. What bearings they were about to deal with, Justin couldn’t be sure of. However it seemed both Lauren and Se-Jin were aware.

A panic attack. He should have expected as much. Emmanuel’s erratic behavior was resembling the one Justin had been present for in the elevator during the day of the riot. Blank startled eyes that failed to observe anything in particular, but solely seeing a past trauma that cloaked itself in the distance that had caught his gaze.

It wasn’t long after that he started writhing and panting, as Justin feared was the next warning sign. It continued with something far more alarming, and Se-Jin made a futile attempt at keeping him still. Even if her efforts were to bear fruit, it didn’t prevent Emmanuel from crying out ‘dad’ repeatedly, leaving Justin stunned to the core of his being. These cries were not the ones begging for the comfort of his parent, even if they were pleas. Justin realized that Emmanuel wasn’t calling for his father in fear, but rather, he was calling out in fear of his father.

This, absurd as it was, only perplexed Justin for a relatively brief moment, until that brevity had served him enough time to recognize who would usually lock Emmanuel in the closet. He felt the strings of sympathy within him being tugged at, with every second Emmanuel suffered through the paralyzation of his trauma.

Luckily he was snapped out of the confinement of compassion, when something that he would’ve never imagined - at least not under anything but a pretense - happened. Lauren was humming a lullaby-like melody, and Se-Jin gazed at her with an infatuation he had not previously seen, at least to his recollection. There was no other way to describe it than surreal. Had it not been lunch just prior to the unanticipated events that had later taken place, he would’ve readily persuaded himself to adopt the conviction that the haze of exhaustion was playing a trick on his mind.

He couldn’t refute what was right in front of his very sight however, and notwithstanding his own expectations, Lauren’s technique was working more than just adequately. In fact, Emmanuel resumed his serene state of unconsciousness, that contrary to the seizure-like dissociation, was easier for them to handle. And when Emmanuel was without the twitching of his muscles, Justin and Se-Jin took a long suppressed breath that eased the stiffness in their lungs.

Justin wasn’t relieved of his breathlessness yet however, and he decided that he’d kept his questions at bay long enough. Whatever Emmanuel was up against, he felt that he was entitled to know the full story.

“What was that?” He asked, splitting his startled glances between Lauren and Se-Jin, while the quiet returned to the room. “How has he lived this long when he has a near death experience every time he enters a goddamn elevator?!”

Although it wasn’t difficult to perceive his question as a misplaced brush of humor, Justin was absolutely serious. Both Se-Jin and Lauren carried the expression of disillusionment, leading him to believe that this part of Emmanuel’s life was better left unknown, even to him. There was no tangible evidence that they were ashamed of what Justin had come to learn and witness, so surely he could be informed of the things they were habitually dealing with themselves.

“I think you should ask Emmanuel…” Lauren answered faintly, as she let her shoulders slump tiredly, unlike the tense manner they had been raised before. “It’s not our place to tell you these types of things.”

Justin scoffed in a way alluding to the fact that Emmanuel was mentally unavailable in that moment. If this had not been the case, he presumably would’ve asked the person in question, whom he was already desperate to speak to. As it were, he didn’t exactly have that option. He sat back down on the coffee table, and Lauren stood up, almost reactionarily, exiting the office.

“Watch him while we’re gone,” Se-Jin sighed, making it apparent that they only intended to leave momentarily, now that someone was there to monitor Emmanuel. “We’ve got some logistical issues to deal with. If he wakes up… he’ll probably want a minute or two alone. We’ll be in the utility closet,” She informed him. “Cleaning up blood.”

She followed Lauren out, and Justin was left alone with Emmanuel in the meantime, patiently waiting for him to regain consciousness.

***

“What do we do about tonight?” Se-Jin asked, wiping the already dried blood off of the door. “In case we’ll be staying until tomorrow.”

Lauren cleared her throat, hinting at the inappropriate circumstances under which Se-Jin was bringing up their agreement for the evening. Furthermore, the task they were performing wasn’t much of a setting suitable for the discussion they were having. If nothing else, she could’ve at least refrained from mentioning it until they were finished.

“Is that really what’s on your mind right now?” Lauren asked, cleaning a blood stained piece of cloth in a bucket of soapy water. “You never fail to disgust me, miss Macron.”

Se-Jin chuckled, nevertheless with a touch of sarcasm. As far as she was aware, Lauren was deeply wrapped up in the convenience of the room they were currently cleaning. Indeed, there was no better place to make a mess, than a utility closet filled with cleaning supplies. It was almost comical, if not tragic. 

“I think we need to get the entire door replaced, or at least repainted,” Se-Jin pointed out, running the tips of her fingers against the erosions in the paint, resulting from the excessive struggling that Emmanuel had subjected it to. “This looks too sketchy to leave as it is. Some of the blood is stuck in the wood.”

They both studied the scratch marks with discomfort, imagining the way of which the blood had gotten there. It was at that exact moment Lauren broke down in tears, unsettling even herself with the sudden crying. Se-Jin had least of all expected it, seeing as Lauren had been fairly unrattled throughout the entire course of events. 

“I’m sorry,” She sobbed, although it was profoundly uncharacteristic of her to apologize, and to Se-Jin of all people. “I haven’t done that since he was a kid. I didn’t think this would happen again. I didn’t want this to happen again.”

She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, lacking any other method of drying them off, while Se-Jin wrapped her arms around her. She hadn’t been in the position of trying to reel in Emmanuel during a panic attack, since further back than she cared to remember. They were sitting on the floor, and as unconventional as it was, they had other worries than the hard surface beneath them.

“This will be the last time,” Se-Jin promised her, despite the fact that neither of them had the ability to look into the future for confirmation regarding that promise. “Pedro’s gone, for good this time. Our parents haven’t even had the chance to attempt something like this since we moved out. And Justin would never-”

“We thought the same thing about Pedro,” Lauren interjected, quickly having gotten past the tears that had carried her mascara down to her jaw, and dripped on her red dress. “He of all people would’ve known the consequences of this. And yet he still left Emmanuel in this closet without a second thought. What happened between them must’ve been worse than we imagined.”

Se-Jin hadn’t been informed by Emmanuel that Pedro was stopping by, and neither had Justin, but Lauren had. As she’d expected, there was no merit in the theory that it had been an impulse on Emmanuel’s behalf. Whatever happened at PT was not an unforeseen argument resulting in a hitherto unmatched altercation between him and Pedro - it was a carefully planned agenda that had gone south.

“Justin is nothing like Pedro,” Se-Jin chuckled, finding Lauren’s sudden distrust of him very incomprehensible. “You’ve seen how he looks at Emmanuel. Even when he saw…” She trailed off, knowing both of them were aware of what she was about to say. “He just looked so-”

“-Ridiculously enamored,” Lauren finished her sentence, and joined her lighthearted laughter. “Right. He’s nothing like Pedro. But Pedro wasn’t always like Pedro either.” She sighed, figuring she’d have to elaborate since the statement was more akin to a riddle than anything else. “He wasn’t like that when we were engaged.”

***

Justin’s gaze hovered gently over Emmanuel, whose chest eventually rose and fell steadily. The worst appeared to have passed, though Emmanuel waking up to discover what he’d missed whilst in the state of unconsciousness could reliably be deemed ‘the worst’ which had yet to take place. And although Justin wished for Emmanuel to wake up, he couldn’t help but find delight in the quiet moment he had been given with Emmanuel.

A thought crossed his mind, though more of a recollection. Lauren had told him the day he’d learned her real name that Emmanuel had a tendency to project his own trauma onto the people around him, and Justin was no exception to this. He vividly remembered the time he’d nearly been made to wet himself for the sake of receiving Emmanuel’s forgiveness, and that Emmanuel did not hesitate nor spare one second coming up with the appropriate punishment. It had simply resided in the back of his mind, since this type of humiliation carried significance to him. 

Justin supposed Emmanuel was struggling to be alone with the memory of drenched pants, and lacking control thereof. This had been what Lauren meant by ‘projecting’ and Justin could easily recognize it as being the favored coping mechanism of Emmanuel. Letting everyone suffer the punishments he’d endured was a method of mending his own fractured self perception. 

He’d seen Emmanuel unconscious once before - or rather blacked out, while wasted - but this was different in a sense. His superior had kind and soft features when asleep, and Justin was utterly captivated, unable to tear his focus away, since this side of Emmanuel contrasted strongly with the side he had just contemplated. Until of course, Emmanuel turned his head, seemingly waking up, while simultaneously scaring Justin half to death. His eyelids fluttered slightly, before his eyes opened tiredly. 

Justin held his hand, but failed to recall the wounds and Emmanuel winced ever so slightly as his awareness of the circumstances sparked. He promptly sat up, with a gasp of realization, slowly drawing back the blanket, though quickly covering himself again as he discovered the cause of the unpleasant sensation.

“There’s a clean set of clothes for you here,” Justin said with a low voice, as if he was uncertain of whether Emmanuel had registered his presence. “Do you remember what happened?”

Emmanuel studied his torn hands intently, not sparing a single glance for Justin who waited patiently for him to answer. Eventually the silence broke, although eye contact didn’t appear to be possible anytime soon. Justin handed him the dry clothes, as Emmanuel parted his lips to speak. 

“I remember everything,” He confirmed, putting the pile of clothes beside him on the couch. “I broke things off with Pedro, but he was waiting for me. I gave him one second too long and he… Well I assume you know the rest.”

Justin nodded, not entirely sure if Emmanuel wanted to know what had happened after the parts he was able to recall, but deciding that he could ask if he felt the need to hear the rest. The unknown could easily be described as a concept eliciting fear, however it could also function as a safeguard.

“I’ll give you some time to change your pants,” Justin said, noticing how Emmanuel was still clutching the blanket in his lap, while also unintentionally making it obvious what was on his mind by failing to mention the rest of the clothes that he’d given Emmanuel. “Should I go get Lauren and Se-Jin for you?” 

He’d brought up the two of them as damage control, hoping to distract Emmanuel from how Justin had highlighted the thing he probably least of all wanted to be the center of the focus in that moment, or really ever. It also gave him an excuse to return, seeing as he was afraid Emmanuel wouldn’t let him back in once he’d left. He did intend for them to communicate, even if Emmanuel was reluctant to discuss the things that had happened to him.

“Send them home for today,” Emmanuel instructed, looking up at the clock on the wall. “They both have plans within the next few hours, and there’s no reason for them to stay overtime.”

***

Justin knocked on the frame of the damaged door, catching the attention of Lauren and Se-Jin who were busily cleaning up the utility closet. They looked at him expectantly in unison, waiting for him to give a status report regarding Emmanuel’s condition. Justin noticed Lauren’s flawed mascara first, which she seemed to pick up on, instantly turning her face away.

“He’s awake,” Justin said, fidgeting a bit with his hands as he contemplated what else to tell them, since he didn’t have much else constructive to say about his superior’s well being. “He’s getting changed right now, but he won’t really look at me. I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do from here.”

“Of course he won’t look at you,” Se-Jin scoffed, and Justin felt momentarily confused by her sudden hostility until she continued. “Or anyone for that matter. He’s embarrassed. For now at least. I’ll try to talk to him, but he’ll be distant throughout the near future, that’s for certain.”

Justin couldn’t deny that her statement was reasonable, though he still found it considerably odd that Emmanuel was being timid which - while not uncommon for Justin - was very unlike him. He was about to step aside to let Se-Jin pass by, then quickly remembered what purpose Emmanuel had sent him down there to fulfill. 

“Uh…” He started, and Se-Jin paused with a raised eyebrow, patiently waiting for him to go on. “Emmanuel actually sent me down here to say that you can go home.” He told them, earning a bewildered expression from both Se-Jin, and Lauren who ultimately relented in facing him with her faulty makeup, apparently distracted enough to forget why she’d turned away to begin with. “He mentioned you both had plans this evening?”

Se-Jin seemingly took his message quite well, appearing to perk up at the revelation that her date wouldn’t need rescheduling. Lauren on the other hand did not react as enthusiastically as Se-Jin. Justin wouldn’t be in a position to exempt Lauren from her appointment in order to stay overtime, but she undoubtedly looked like she could use it. 

“Thank you Justin,” Se-Jin smiled confidently, despite the day they’d had. “I guess we’ll be heading out then. If you need anything just call.”

She was already grabbing her and Lauren’s bag, being in a hurry based on a mere admission from Justin. Lauren was standing still, as taken aback by Se-Jin’s pace as he presumably was. He had indeed given them permission to leave on behalf of Emmanuel, but he’d hoped they’d send him back to the office with a piece of advice in terms of how to deal with Emmanuel.

“Do you need me to stay?” Lauren asked, causing Se-Jin to pause entirely. “This is for the sake of Emmanuel after all…” She reminded him, though the statement appeared more directed at Se-Jin who looked almost offended by Lauren’s suggestion. “We can postpone our plans if necessary.”

Justin stuttered hesitantly, then sensing Se-Jin’s dismayed gaze digging into him. It was quite obvious that she was signaling for him to reject Lauren’s proposal and make it quick. Of course, he could’ve used the assistance, but this was also an opportunity for him to have Emmanuel rely entirely on him.

“It’s his orders,” Justin shook his head, and Se-Jin gave him a satisfied smirk. “But I’d appreciate it if you have some advice on how I’m supposed to handle this accordingly.”

Lauren’s expression instantly turned into one of disappointment, making Justin question what her plans were, since she was so reluctant to leave. Perhaps it wasn’t about the appointment she’d be showing up for, but the fact that Emmanuel wasn’t in need of her help. It was peculiar how much of her identity consisted of being at his service when asked for. 

“Talk to him,” Se-Jin answered, as if the solution was incredibly simple. “You being you, with a dash of sincerity, is exactly what he needs right now. Just validate him, and reassure him, but don’t pity him or treat him like a child. That should be an effective strategy. You’ve made it this far for a reason.”

Justin didn’t want to admit it, but her advice was more helpful than any tactic he could’ve produced himself. He stepped aside, this time fully, and Se-Jin linked arms with Lauren as they all left the closet. Justin had completed his task and it was time for him to return to Emmanuel’s office, which he nervously did, as Lauren and Se-Jin made their way towards the elevators with him.

They were about to step on, when a phone started ringing. Lauren reached into her bag, while Se-Jin waited for her to press ignore, however when it became clear that she intended to take the call, Justin went ahead without them, seeing as they weren’t headed the same way regardless. 

“I didn’t think I’d hear from you,” Lauren said, answering the phone as she took a few steps away, for the purpose of privacy. “Ever again.”

The person on the other end of the line sighed, and after a few seconds of silence Lauren considered simply hanging up, as if taking the call in the first place had been a mere impulse that she now regretted. And yet, her curiosity and pent up frustration with the caller gave her patience enough to keep the line open. 

“Is Emmanuel okay?” Pedro asked, concern clear in his tone, as much as Lauren was reluctant to deign it any sympathy. “Can you at least tell me that? I just need to know that he’s okay.”

She scoffed at the absurdity of his words, finding it almost hysterical that he would dare even call her after what he’d done. But then again, wasn’t she the one answering the call? As pathetic as it was, she’d hoped that he would indeed express regret, not wanting the man she’d been engaged to turning out to be even less decent than she already considered him to be. She was ashamed enough to begin with.

“He’s not okay,” She sighed, although knowing that Emmanuel was at least awake and seemingly okay enough to change his clothes. “I don’t know if he’ll recover from this, honestly.”

Even she didn’t believe what she was expressing, however she needed for Pedro to feel guilty, and unbearably so. She knew from experience that while Emmanuel had a long way down, no low was worse than the last. She was convinced that he’d manage, even if Pedro could be persuaded to believe the exact opposite.

“I didn’t plan for this to happen,” He answered, sounding almost panicked, knowing fairly well himself that Emmanuel was similarly capable of payback. “That’s why I told Justin-” He tried, but Lauren was quick to rub salt in the wound.

“Right, Justin,” She sharply remarked, getting ready to hang up. “Luckily he’s here to fix what you broke.”

  
  


***

Emmanuel was sitting the exact way Justin had left him, however wearing another pair of dry clothes that had not been stained with blood. He was still examining the injuries on his hands, understandably so, considering the severity and morbid appearance of them. Justin waited at the door, not entirely sure if he was allowed to come any closer without Emmanuel’s permission, seeing as he’d already taken the liberty to enter without said permission. 

“Congratulations,” Emmanuel chuckled somewhat bitterly, maintaining the lack of eye contact from before. “You’ve now seen me at my worst.”

Justin wasn’t ready with a reassuring reply that could mend Emmanuel’s fractured self esteem, and so he simply stood there quietly, before he’d finally built up enough courage to approach Emmanuel. He sat at his feet, picking this seat instead of the coffee table in order to lower himself sufficiently to see Emmanuel’s face, which was subsequently lowered. 

“This isn’t your worst,” Justin whispered, realizing that this statement wasn’t particularly helpful. “What you did to Pedro… Using me to get back at him; that’s your worst,” He scolded, ignoring the advice he’d gotten from Se-Jin despite how he’d previously found it useful. “I get that you wanted to get even, but you should’ve walked away. Revenge is petty and rarely ends well, as I’m sure you’ve learned.”

A reprimand of this type would usually result in Emmanuel ordering him to leave, however he did not. It was easy to spot the shift in attitude that Emmanuel presented, and Justin could only assume that what had happened in that closet had consequently stripped Emmanuel of all the authority he’d had earlier that day. It was Justin’s chance to have an influence and get a word across without being punished for it.

“This isn’t your worst,” He repeated, carefully raising a gentle hand to stroke Emmanuel’s cheek, praying that he wasn’t overstepping. “Even if you think it is.”

Emmanuel wasn’t pulling away or rejecting Justin’s touch, the way he would tend to do had he been the one in control. This seemed to be another thing he’d been forced to yield. He cast a glance at the pants he’d changed out of, and Justin followed said glance. 

“If that’s all, you can head home,” He said, clearing his throat, and picking a more polite version of his usual ‘get out’ though with the intent being the same. “I can take it from here, and you can take the next few days off.”

Justin felt his hand being removed, and Emmanuel’s eyes were still unable to meet his. He regretted not having gone with Se-Jin’s approach, wishing that the outcome would’ve been different but knowing that Emmanuel was too stubborn to lean on Justin, and of course even after everything that had happened this remained the fact of the matter.

“I want to stay,” Justin insisted, knowing that these words were not the ones Emmanuel wanted to hear, but nevertheless not intending to back down. “I don’t think less of you because of this. Can’t you at least look at me when you tell me to leave, if I absolutely must go?”

Emmanuel didn’t react much to this either, and Justin was starting to think that nothing he could say would serve to improve the situation, even in the slightest. The worst possible scenario was if the distant version of Emmanuel happened to be permanent, and their relationship had been derailed for good. 

Justin figured he’d have to break another rule, stepping further across every drawn line of Emmanuel’s making, having been left no other choice. He leaned in, carefully taking Emmanuel’s hand without touching the wounds. He led it towards his own chest, and pressed the palm of Emmanuel’s hand against the warmth of his skin.

“Why Is your heart beating so fast Justin?” He asked, sensing the vibration of every heartbeat coursing through Justin’s chest. 

“Because you’re touching me…” Justin answered with a shy smile that stayed on his lips. “Nothing’s changed.”

Emmanuel raised his head, meeting Justin’s eyes with the same intimidating gaze that Justin recognized from before. The gaze that made his mind blank and his senses catch on fire. Had he succeeded? It seemed so, even if the cost had been him telling a lie, that would surely complicate everything. Something had indeed changed. Justin was now aware that when subject to Emmanuel, humiliation begets humiliation.

*** 

Justin studied the beautiful woman behind the glass barrier, standing in Emmanuel’s office with a relaxed posture, resting her hand on the stroller. She was laughing warmly, while Emmanuel played with the baby on his arm, carrying the widest smile Justin had ever seen on his lips. It had been two weeks since the incident with the closet and Emmanuel had grown a beard, which - despite taking some time to get used to - Justin thought was very charming. 

“He’s always been good with children,” Lauren chuckled, standing beside Justin as they observed Emmanuel and his guests. “Surprising. Isn’t it?”

Justin nodded, entirely absorbed in watching the cheerful woman and her baby enjoying the play date of sorts. It seemed the child had also noticed Emmanuel’s new beard, curling her tiny hands in it with bursts of giggles that made Emmanuel’s smile even wider. Justin and Lauren couldn’t help but be filled with lightness and warmth as well, laughing every time the little girl did. 

“I want one of those too,” Lauren whined jokingly, but managed to stun Justin for a second before he eventually had to admit that he felt his own paternal instincts tugging at his heart as well. “Seriously though, I’m adding ‘adorable toddler’ to my wishlist. Justin steal a baby for me, won’t you?”

Justin chuckled, nudging her side teasingly. He couldn’t deny that the small creature was bringing out a side of Emmanuel that even he couldn’t. It was absolutely amazing. He caught Emmanuel’s attention for a second, feeling his cheeks flare up as Emmanuel gave him a quick wink. 

“Where’s Se-Jin?” Justin asked, suddenly realizing her absence, and becoming curious of her whereabouts. “She needs to see this too. She’s really missing out.”

Justin was willing to bet that whatever Se-Jin was doing, she’d much prefer seeing her brother being ridiculously cheerful, playing with the baby who still appeared spellbound by the beard. If nothing else she’d at least have material to tease Emmanuel with, which wasn’t a small prize.

“I’ll go find her, she’s definitely around here somewhere.” Lauren said, leaving Justin to be the sole audience of the perky scene, as she went out to look for Se-Jin. “Take pictures in case I can’t find her.”

It was a relief to see Emmanuel as carefree as he was with the child, considering everything that he carried on his conscience, and what he was still recovering from. Justin especially enjoyed seeing how elated the visitors were while in Emmanuel’s presence, which Justin hadn’t expected would be the case to such an extent. Emmanuel was a lot of things, but Justin would’ve thought that some of these things - intimidating and arrogant - didn’t appeal to children. Perhaps he’d simply overlooked this side of Emmanuel.

Unfortunately Se-Jin didn’t show up in time to witness it, as Emmanuel said goodbye to the visitors who left shortly after. Justin waved to the little girl, and chuckled when he received a smile in return. He felt an arm around his waist, and turned to see Emmanuel standing beside him. 

“Who was that?” Justin asked, leaning back against his desk, while giving his superior a shy smile. “They looked really happy to see you.”

“Clara and Clara Junior,” Emmanuel answered, earning a startled expression from Justin. “I’m kidding,” He laughed, as Justin sighed in relief. “The mother’s name is Marie, and her daughter’s name is Alice.”

Justin instantly knew he’d heard one of the names before, and shortly thereafter recalled Lewis telling Emmanuel that Tanner had proposed to someone named Marie, whom he’d supposedly dated for a while. He didn’t think Emmanuel knew them that well, but clearly they were close.

“Wait so Tanner and Marie have a daughter but aren’t married yet?” Justin asked, strangely confused by the unconventional order of their relationship. “I mean not that that’s a problem, I’m just wondering,” He added, realizing that his own relationship made it impossible for him to pass any judgements.

“They weren’t a couple when they had Alice,” Emmanuel explained, only further complicating the story. “A word of advice, don’t get drunk at a company dinner. Marie happens to be an employee here too, if you hadn’t guessed. I’m quite frankly just glad that everything worked out for them.”

Justin merely nodded, deciding to leave it there instead of attempting to find head and tail in the information he’d just been given. He locked eyes with Emmanuel and noticed how the spark had yet to burn out, even as the child was out of sight. He figured Emmanuel was more of a softie than he’d previously thought. Even the smile was still obvious in his features, though Justin’s dumbfounded expression hadn’t prompted it. 

“You’ll be a great mother one day,” He said, breaking into a nervous string of stutters as he realized what he’d just said. “I mean father. One day. A great one.” He corrected, although Emmanuel’s warm smile hadn’t faltered, even for a second. “If you want kids. With someone. One day.”

Justin continued to ramble, as his cheeks grew redder, and Emmanuel was flashing an amused smirk, despite everything. He finally stopped himself by biting his lip, while Emmanuel took his hand and placed it on his stomach, which would’ve served to silence him just as effectively. 

“Are you thinking about getting me pregnant Justin?” Emmanuel whispered playfully in his ear, as he leaned in closer, provoking him immensely. “That’s quite bold. Don’t you think you should at least ask me out on a date first?”

Justin was already out of breath, his mind flooding with countless obscene fantasies that he knew he should not be having. Least of all; a future with Emmanuel. It was something he considered to be far out of his reach, and perhaps impossible. Nevertheless his heart was already beating out of his chest, and the only other thought that could distract him was the method of getting Emmanuel pregnant, as if it was even an option. The non existing odds, of course, wasn’t going to prevent him from trying, if he was only permitted to make an attempt, that is. 

“I’m sorry,” He stuttered, not sure which of the sins he’d just committed was the one he was apologizing for, though fairly certain that they were all worth repenting. “Does that mean I should ask you out on a date?”

He was painfully aware of the fact that Emmanuel hadn’t initiated anything remotely sexual between them in over two weeks. Although Justin didn’t miss licking his own semen off of Emmanuel’s shoes, he had been waiting idly in anticipation for attention that he wasn’t getting. It wasn’t as if Emmanuel hadn’t had the time, quite the opposite actually. His schedule had been cleared to a certain extent, giving him more leisure time to recover from the incident both physically and mentally.

They’d had several opportunities, but Emmanuel hadn’t taken advantage of any of them, much to Justin’s disappointment. He’d let Emmanuel know that nothing had changed, yet something obviously had on Emmanuel’s part. Justin couldn’t initiate anything himself, since all the rules that had previously been present still applied, not that he hadn’t broken them carelessly before.

He’d felt the need to let Emmanuel have the authority, and intended to wait until permission was given. Well, that, and the fact that every single time he’d dared step out of line, the punishments had been intense. It wasn’t something he was eager to risk experiencing once again. 

And now he was pushing his luck quite a bit, by attempting to make progress in their relationship, asking if Emmanuel was requesting a date. It was fair to point out that he hadn’t been the one to bring it up first. However Emmanuel didn’t look the least bit bothered, though he refrained from giving Justin an answer, simply kissing his saturated cheek gently, leaving him lusting, as Justin had feared would be the outcome. 

They were interrupted when Lauren cleared her throat, waiting for them to notice her presence. Knowing Emmanuel though, she was aware that he’d seen her approaching despite the endeavor he was partaking in. Justin’s obliviousness hinted that he, on the other hand, had been paying attention to something entirely else than who was there to witness what they were doing. 

“I didn’t find Se-Jin,” She said, crossing her arms. “But I see it’s not necessary. I wonder where she went though. She’s usually following me around like a lost puppy, but I haven’t seen her all day.”

Justin didn’t know if her statement was supposed to cause alarm or concern, but when he looked at Emmanuel he sensed something being amiss. Of course, he’d never dare comment on it. It could be due to Lauren’s obvious dismay which had been noticeable since she’d returned.

“Se-Jin is out running an errand for me,” Emmanuel said, and although Justin considered the answer to relatively benign, Lauren seemed displeased. “I assume she’ll be back in about 10 minutes or so. It’s nothing important, though I would’ve loved to spare you the trouble of trying to find her.”

Even Justin knew that it was unlike Se-Jin to run errands for Emmanuel, and that such things were usually relegated to Lauren. Unless of course, this errand was one that Emmanuel didn’t want her to be involved in, for whatever reason. The tension was light, but it was there nonetheless, and Justin was relieved to see another visitor approaching them, almost too conveniently. 

It was an elderly man, wearing that familiar type of upper class attire, that Emmanuel himself wore when out attending different events. While the man was a stranger to Justin, he obviously wasn’t one to Emmanuel or Lauren, who both nearly recoiled when seeing the man approaching them. 

Justin soon felt it too. The unpleasant atmosphere that appeared to follow along wherever the man went. It was almost suffocating, and whatever laughter and lightness had been, was now drowned out. It had been flailing already, due to whatever dispute between Emmanuel and Lauren that had arisen, but now it was completely unsalvageable. 

Even if Justin were to somehow straighten out the issue with Se-Jin’s supposed ‘errand’ that Emmanuel had sent her out to run for him, something far more serious was now stirring. It didn’t appear to involve Justin however, and he waited patiently for instructions that never came. 

Finally he turned to Emmanuel, and for the first time, he felt as if Emmanuel had joined him on the submissive end of the spectrum, and inconceivably enough; Lauren was right there with them.

He could’ve sworn he felt the dominance emanating from the man, and wondered if it would be wise to submit his own authority to the stranger as well. It was quite a sight to behold, and memorable to say the least. A frail old man robbing the founder of a multi-billion dollar company of all his usual pride. Justin almost couldn’t trust his own perception. 

Emmanuel was the one to break the silence, uttering a weak word.

“Dad.”


	8. Audacity

Emmanuel and Lauren remained speechless, standing silent with disbelief painting their features, while the man - who'd turned out to be Emmanuel’s father - gleefully reveled in the tense atmosphere his presence had resulted in. Justin felt that he had no right nor reason to involve himself, and yet, when both Lauren and Emmanuel failed to take initiative, he decided to do so himself.

“Sir, you’re not in Mr. Macron’s schedule,” He said, clearing his throat. “If you’re here to see him, you’ll have to make an appointment.”

His tone was respectful, although he had no desire to show this particular man any respect, considering everything he’d been told concerning said man. He didn’t refer to Emmanuel by his first name, figuring that since he was an employee, he should appear as such, and only such. 

“I am Mr. Macron,” The elderly man scoffed, waving his hand dismissively. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I don’t do small talk with staffers.”

Justin would’ve responded to the condescending remark with one of his own, however as Emmanuel’s father had pointed out; he was just a staffer. Even if he’d had the authority to reciprocate the utter disregard, he was just as reluctant to defy this man as Emmanuel apparently was - or had been

“Father that’s enough,” Emmanuel finally spoke up, though his tone was more pleading than if he’d been giving an actual order. “I have a little time, but after that you’ll have to leave before Se-Jin returns.”

His father flashed him a satisfied smirk, stepping past them, and letting himself inside Emmanuel’s office. Justin didn’t entirely understand what the purpose of adhering to his demands was, but he assumed that if Emmanuel had been able to decline, he surely would’ve done just that. As it were, however, his father’s will dictated all course of action, and Emmanuel had no choice but to obey.

“Make sure he goes nowhere near Se-Jin,” He instructed Lauren, being clear in his orders the way he could never gather enough courage to be with his father. “Wait for her in front of the building, and do whatever’s necessary to keep the two of them out of each other’s range. Do you understand what you need to do?”

Lauren gave him an affirmative nod, departing with haste to prevent a possible run-in between Se-Jin and their father. Justin didn’t have much time to speculate over his own role, as it seemed Emmanuel had already determined it. He took Justin’s hand, glancing nervously at the visitor who was waiting impatiently. Justin soon understood what Emmanuel was asking for.

“I won’t force you but...” Emmanuel hesitated, knowing how incapable he must’ve looked. “I’d appreciate it if you go with me.”

Justin wasn’t thrilled with the situation, but on the bright side, it was bringing him further into Emmanuel’s circle of trust. He needed for Emmanuel to depend on him, and seemingly this wish of his was being fulfilled, even if the circumstances were quite unfortunate. There was also the prospect of having to be in the same room as Emmanuel’s father - whom he was nowhere close to fond of - if he were to follow Emmanuel’s request. 

“Of course,” He answered, deciding that assisting Emmanuel was worth the unpleasant company. “Anything you need.”

After getting confirmation, Emmanuel let go of his hand discreetly, counting on him to stay the appropriate distance away for it to appear natural. They entered the office, and Justin immediately felt the suffocating atmosphere that he’d yet to familiarize himself with, and was reluctant to bear with much longer. He couldn’t imagine growing up with a man like Emmanuel’s father around, and he was certain it had been the main source of the trauma he recognized in Emmanuel.

“You have a disagreeable taste in liquor,” His father grimaced as he swirled the liquid in his glass, presumably having helped himself to Emmanuel’s liquor cabinet. “This is what I’d expect to find in a cheap brothel. Come to think of it, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Take a seat.”

Justin barely realized he’d done as the order relayed, even if it hadn’t been directed at him. He had without question sat down on one of the black leather sofas, and it only then hit him how unfortunate the choice of furniture was, as it only confirmed Emmanuel’s father’s insult. Indeed, there was no clever retort to be made in that regard.

“You’re at my company, standing in my office, yet you have the audacity to order me to ‘take a seat’?” Emmanuel asked in disbelief, surprising Justin with his newfound confidence. 

Perhaps there was nothing to worry about after all, seeing as Emmanuel was handling the situation with a considerable amount of self-assurance. Justin was suppressing a taunting grin that would have otherwise been meant for Emmanuel’s father. They were off to a great start, and Justin was somewhat entertained already, despite his previous concern. 

“Yes I’d imagine you’d rather be defiant,” His father said in a disinterested manner, though Justin could tell that Emmanuel’s wit had irked him to a certain extent. 

Regardless of the unyielding front that Emmanuel was upholding, he was getting increasingly uneasy with the person he was sharing a conversation with. He crossed his arms, but managed to come off as if he was hugging himself for comfort, which seemed to give his father immeasurable satisfaction.

“Cut to the chase,” He finally said, getting impatient faster than Justin had been able to predict from his otherwise calm approach. “Why did you show up here?”

His father momentarily acted offended, notwithstanding his obvious unbothered attitude. Justin had hoped that Emmanuel was fed up enough to maintain the authority he had left, but at that point even Justin was fidgeting nervously with his hands, and sinking deeper into his seat. It was clear to see why the efforts were draining his energy, and Justin’s as well.

“Can’t a parent visit his children without being accused of having an agenda?” His father asked, throwing up his hands as if he was truly bewildered by Emmanuel’s distrust. “Though, now that I’m here, I’m going to need you to drop your defamation lawsuit. It’s drawing too much publicity, and the fact that you’ve started an open dispute with the tabloid responsible only makes their story seem all the more credible.”

Even Justin was able to see the logic behind his statement, however, he knew that the goal of the defamation lawsuit - a public apology and a retraction of the smear piece - meant too much for Emmanuel to simply drop. And for what? There was no obligation for him to do so, other than his father requesting it, which he had no right to do. The story involved him as well, and it was odd to say the least that he wasn’t backing the defamation lawsuit himself. Was it the money?

“Why would I drop it?” Emmanuel asked, with relative confusion at the demand his father had made. “I’ll win it easily, and if I’m being honest, this isn’t up to you.”

His father didn’t look pleased with having Emmanuel stand up to him, probably not being accustomed to this. Justin on the other hand was more than pleased, although knowing that Emmanuel’s father was unlikely to let the case rest. If Emmanuel’s stubbornness was hereditary then this was bound to end up in conflict of grim proportions. 

“Your mother and I have a reputation to uphold, and your scandals aren’t making it easy for us,” His father argued, presenting his case before Emmanuel had a chance to shut him down. “We’ve remained quiet through countless despicable articles regarding your shameful habits, but this time it involves us directly. You’ll have to let it rest, and it’ll blow over on its own. The more you resist, the more journalists will dig through our private lives.”

Justin had a slight suspicion that the ‘scandals’ Emmanuel’s father was referring to included the one about Austin Fowler and sexual harassment. If there was more than one scandal, they must have been buried too well for Justin to discover them, despite the vigorous research he’d done, not to mention how well he’d come to know Emmanuel. 

“This isn’t my scandal,” Emmanuel countered, dismissing his father’s criticism. “You practically wrote that story yourself. Who made my childhood a scandal after all?”

He wasn’t relenting, and as far as he knew, he carried no amount of blame himself. This was not the only issue he was refusing to face submissively, taking into account that he wasn’t about to drop the defamation lawsuit, no matter the consequences that were presented by his parents.

“So you insist on blaming your mother and me for the past?” His father scoffed, taking a resolute step towards Emmanuel to force him into submission. “Be that as it may. You can’t justifiably hold us responsible for your present. You may be part of the elite, founder of your own company, and wealthy enough to do whatever you please. But let’s not forget, you also happen to be a promiscuous, damaged, runaway-”

He paused, noticing Emmanuel’s injured hands, suddenly smiling wickedly as he took a hold of his wrist, raising it to highlight the discovery he’d made. His grip was so rough, Justin nearly intervened, seeing his superior being physically confronted. He sat still however, knowing that Emmanuel would’ve requested his help had he needed it.

“-And you still bite your nails, and sleep with the lights on at night,” His father continued, listing his assumptions. “Or am I wrong?” He asked, as Emmanuel’s hands started to tremble. “I take it you’re still afraid of small spaces?”

The tables had been turned, in spite of the attempts Emmanuel had made at retaining his pride. The tremor had spread to the rest of his body, and he was now quivering like a child facing their parent’s scolding. Justin was silently begging that Emmanuel would start defending himself, but it was without luck, as Emmanuel barely got a word out.

“I-” He tried, but was quickly cut off.

“And you still wet yourself like you did when you were little, don’t you?”

This specific remark appeared to strike Emmanuel exactly where his shame resided, making the glass overflow. It had been the final straw and there was no turning the tide, determining who had come out on top; it sure wasn’t Emmanuel. Justin was digging his nails into the palms of his hands, knowing that Emmanuel couldn’t deny his father’s words.

“I-it’s your f-fault,” Emmanuel stuttered, and not just a hesitant one, but a real stutter.

Justin recalled how Lauren had told him that Emmanuel had developed a stutter and become terribly timid when they were children, as a result of the trauma. Was this the stutter and timidity she’d informed him of? It was as if Emmanuel had regressed into a child again, at the hands of his father. There was a limit to what Justin could sit back and witness without eventually snapping, whether for Emmanuel’s sake or simply due to losing his temper. He was aware that Emmanuel had the last say, and acting on his own accord would be violating his job description. 

Emmanuel’s father let go of his wrist, instead grabbing his jaw, and turning his face slowly to examine the beard. His expression hinted disgust, and Emmanuel seemed to pick up on this, averting his gaze without resisting. Justin caught himself inching forward, clearly persuaded by his instincts to act.

“That’s not very lady-like of you,” His father sneered, as Emmanuel struggled to fend off another panic attack that was brewing under the surface. “You’ve always been such a beautiful girl Clara.”

Emmanuel flinched, and Justin decided to draw the line right then and there. Even if Emmanuel refused to defend himself, whatever the cause, Justin was in no way capable of standing idly by to respect a boundary set by the employment standards he’d agreed to at the offset of his hiring. He broke off the confrontation immediately, removing the hand that was trapping Emmanuel in his paralyzation forcefully. He’d barely registered his own conduct until both Emmanuel and his father stared at him in astonishment. 

He wasn’t about to let the awe of the people around him dictate his further course of action however, and even Emmanuel’s father who appeared thoroughly infuriated, had no impact on Justin’s perception of the situation. The degree of dissatisfaction he was expressing only further incentivized Justin to persist.

“Sir you’ve overstayed your welcome,” He said, choosing a more composed approach, now that he had the upper hand. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, and if you do not comply I’ll inform security who will escort you out of the building.”

Emmanuel didn’t interfere with Justin’s agenda, and he had no desire to reclaim control. His father retracted his hand in a swift movement, turning on his heel to depart from the office and presumably the building. Before he slammed the door behind himself, he delivered a final threat that was sure to leave an impression.

“Drop the lawsuit or I’m sure the press would be highly interested to know how Se-Jin lost her eye.”

While the main problem had seen himself out, the lingering toxicity was a cause for concern, as Justin turned to Emmanuel with a questioning expression, that made it clear he was requesting an explanation. The entire encounter had been bizarre enough to provoke an endless string of questions, but the most pressing one happened to be about Se-Jin’s eye. Justin had been told by Se-Jin herself that she’d lost her eye in an accident, though her father’s threat seemingly disputed that.

“It’s not important,” Emmanuel said, voice still small and insecure, and the stutter still vaguely present. “He’s a liar. After everything you just saw are you really going to listen to him?”

Justin scoffed, realizing that Emmanuel wasn’t particularly truthful either, and the nervous tremor in his voice would’ve dissolved had he been honest in his response. His father had been the one to elicit the regression, but Emmanuel was advancing it himself by continuously being deceitful towards the person who’d stood up for him.

“How did Se-Jin lose her eye?” Justin asked, this time leaving no room for Emmanuel to deflect blame or bend the truth to his own benefit. 

“It was me,” Lauren said, having entered the office without Justin realizing, a skill both she and Se-Jin apparently harbored. “It was my idea, and Emmanuel was the one who burned her.” She explained, with a troubled expression that Justin recognized was sincere, despite the inconceivable cruelty she was describing. “Their parents would have never stopped their search for her if she was still valuable to them. The marriage couldn’t proceed if the bride was disfigured, and now they have no use of her.”

Justin’s mouth was slightly agape in response to the revelation he’d just made, and what he’d learned about the people he’d felt he’d grown intimate with. He wasn’t willing to believe her, though she’d been reliable before in multiple ways, so he focused on Emmanuel, praying that he’d oppose her explanation, and deliver a forgivable one of his own. But Emmanuel merely crossed his arms, appearing less than content with the current circumstances.

“She approved of it,” Lauren tried, but ceased to make any further arguments as she realized the ineffectuality of her attempts.

Justin ran his fingers through his curls, trying to process the information he’d come to know, but didn’t succeed. He needed air, feeling his chest being tightened by the inescapable reality of the matter, and when he spotted Se-Jin approaching the office after having dropped off her bag and coat, he made a split second decision. 

Lauren was about to object to his sudden exit, but Justin was already out of the door before she could get a word out. He walked in a straight line towards Se-Jin, and took her hand without explanation, leading her towards the stairs, in spite of her obvious confusion with his abnormal behavior. 

***

“It seemed like the only solution at the time,” Se-Jin sighed, giving a recount of her past, which Justin had yet to fully understand, and perhaps accept. “It’s useless to regret it now. After all it worked.”

They were standing on the rooftop where Se-Jin frequently smoked, that is, if she were to not do it inside the building as a way of expressing irritation in her characteristic delinquent fashion. This time there was no rain, and Se-Jin had taken advantage of this fact, lighting a cigarette, and taking unbothered drags from it, despite the cold weather.

“It’s a sacrifice you shouldn’t have been forced to make,” Justin answered, following the curving string of smoke with his gaze as it fused with the fresh air. “There had to have been another way that didn’t involve mutilation.”

Se-Jin shrugged, as if she hadn’t agonized over it for several years living with her disability. She’d become somewhat numb to the memory, though the impact of it had been beyond Justin’s comprehension. As she’d said, it was useless to regret it, seeing as it could not be undone.

“I know that you’re assuming I was the one carrying the burden of this injury,” She said, putting out her cigarette, as she’d lost her interest in it. “But Emmanuel is the one living with this on his conscience, whether he lets it show or not. I know he would’ve made the sacrifice himself had that been an option.”

Justin somehow didn’t doubt it, since he was aware of Emmanuel’s overprotective nature when it came to Se-Jin. He supposed that if she didn’t bear any resentment towards Emmanuel then he couldn’t justifiably do so either. It made no sense to be upset on someone else’s behalf, and especially not so when it didn’t involve him. He didn’t want to busy himself with such unnecessary matters, even if he found Emmanuel’s actions to be disconcerting. 

He cleared his mind with the help of brisk air that brushed his curly locks away from his eyes, and instead observed Se-Jin who likewise enjoyed the wind. Her hair wasn’t as easily swept away as Justin’s, due to the manner of which she’d styled it. Nonetheless, her scar could still be seen under her hair when she turned her face towards the wind, and Justin was reminded of the first time he’d discovered it. 

“May I?” He asked, making his intention clear, as he played gently with her hair. 

She nodded carefully, and with her approval Justin brushed the hair away from the side of her face that was usually hidden. He ran his thumb across the borders of the scar tissue, being cautious of his facial expression, since he didn’t want to convey anything unintentionally. Her overall appearance hadn’t suffered from the burns, and Justin considered her to be a conventionally attractive woman.

“You don’t look as afraid as you did back then,” She whispered, holding his hand against her cheek, and closing her eye as she leaned into the warmth. “That makes me happy.”

Justin didn’t move, but recalled how he’d wondered which expression he’d carried back then, having worried that it was one of disgust. He didn’t fear her, but he did experience a sense of anxiety when imagining the physical torment an injury of that severity would cause. Inflicting a wound like that would be utterly impossible for someone like Justin.

“I wasn’t afraid of you,” He said, not sure if she really believed him, taking into account the distress it had most likely resulted in on her part. “I was afraid that you were hurt. I don’t want you to be in pain.”

She smiled slightly, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. He’d expected to learn the truth at some point, but he would’ve never guessed that the one to bring him the lead would turn out to be Emmanuel and Se-Jin’s father. Letting the information soak in dulled the ache that learning it had left.

“I’m not in pain as long as Emmanuel is happy,” She answered.

***

Justin returned to his desk, assuming that he’d have to return to his duties, and that ripping off the band aid with haste left less of a stinging to be felt afterwards. He let his eyes fall upon the empty office where he’d suspect his superior was busy working. He didn’t think much of Emmanuel’s absence at first, but grew increasingly worried as time passed. Despite the friction between them, Justin still allowed himself to feel somewhat responsible for Emmanuel’s well being, and he chose to satisfy his paranoia by seeking out his superior, instead of waiting patiently for him to return. 

After a considerably short search, Justin found him standing at a sink in the men’s restroom with a razor and shaving cream at his hand. Justin could tell that he’d been contemplating for a while at that point, avoiding his own reflection despite the close proximity that it was in.

“You wondered why I was listening to your father, and here you are doing the exact same thing,” Justin pointed out, momentarily claiming Emmanuel’s attention by mentioning the fractured logic. “If I can’t trust him, why should you?”

Emmanuel chuckled with a hint of bitterness, seemingly having gotten the message. Justin did indeed have a point, if they chose to ignore the events that had trailed the ones of which he was speaking. It was more complex than Justin was making it out to be, and Emmanuel was quick to make him aware of his miscalculation. 

“My father turned out to be right, did he not?” He scoffed, picking up the razor and throwing it to Justin, who caught it easily. “He’s the reason I grew this beard in the first place. But I don’t need to prove myself. Growing a beard doesn’t change anything.” He explained, applying the shaving cream. “Help me shave, Justin.”

He unbuttoned his shirt, making sure to spare the fabric from the shaving cream, were they to make a mess. Justin obliged, stepping closer as he studied the razor. Emmanuel could very easily do it himself, but what was the fun in that? Justin raised his hand, about to do as he regularly did in the morning before going to work, then pausing as he remembered whose skin would be under the blade.

“I can’t risk making a mistake,” He whispered, eyes darting from the beard to Emmanuel’s exposed chest, which served as a problematic distraction. “What if I hurt you?”

Emmanuel leaned in, gazing at Justin from under his lashes as he unbuttoned Justin’s shirt as well, eventually reaching the zipper of his trousers, pulling it down. They would’ve very likely been in trouble had they not been the only ones on the floor to have access to the men’s restroom. 

“I’ll forgive you,” Emmanuel answered, voice laced with sincerity even though forgiveness wasn’t one of his many traits. “I promise,” He whispered, as he moved his hand from Justin’s zipper to his wrist, as a cue for him to take the risk they both knew was imminent. 

Could he really decline such an opportunity? It was a rarity that Emmanuel let Justin place even a single touch on his clothes, let alone on his skin. Furthermore, it had been more than two weeks since Emmanuel had initiated anything of this sort. If Justin let his own ambivalence influence his decision-making, the opportunity surely wouldn’t present itself again. 

Justin’s eyes repeatedly darted from Emmanuel’s chest, to the movements of his hands performing an act that could potentially leave a scar if his hands were to falter or flinch. Even though he was trying desperately to prevent himself from succumbing to the temptation of letting his gaze wander, there was no helping it. Of course, the risk wasn’t without an element of excitement of its own, and Justin would be lying if he said it didn’t provide him with a unique type of thrill. 

As he worked his way towards Emmanuel’s lips, he almost felt that it was a lost opportunity that he hadn’t gotten to kiss Emmanuel, while feeling the beard prickling his skin. When the blade ran below Emmanuel’s jaw, Justin nearly trembled as he imagined the damage that would occur if he made a single misstep.

The tremor in itself could provide a significant cut, if the blade went sideways, or slid outwards. The prospect of leaving a mark on Emmanuel was riveting, however this was not the type of mark he’d had in mind. He would’ve been perfectly content with a hickey or bite mark if it were up to him.

Emmanuel seemed nowhere near as nervous as Justin, quite the opposite actually. His posture remained comfortable and still, while his hands hovered at Justin’s waistband, as if waiting for the right moment to get to work himself. His gaze rested on Justin’s expression that reflected the progress he made. As he got more used to the razor, his movements became more swift and confident, and his muscles became less tense.

“You’re doing well,” Emmanuel praised, then slipped a hand into Justin’s underwear, despite the risk attached to doing so. “But I’m afraid it’s too easy.”

Easy wasn’t the word that best described the task Justin was performing, and especially not when Emmanuel decided to complicate things further by speaking and subsequently moving his jaw. This wasn’t the main issue anymore though, because Emmanuel was determined to put an additional strain on Justin, by pleasuring him simultaneously.

Justin would never voice this observation, but Emmanuel’s healing wounds, unfortunately located on his hands, were almost stinging when they brushed against Justin’s sensitive skin. It could’ve easily made his eyes water, had he not been utterly distracted by the task that could cause the most severe consequence, if done incorrectly.

Going off the optics it would appear that Emmanuel had no concerns being under the blade, while influencing the person holding it. Rather, he seemed to not even register the risk, or even be aware of it, for that matter. Given the complicating factors, Justin was much slower than he would’ve been, undisturbed. That didn’t serve to deter Emmanuel even in the slightest, and he continued to stimulate Justin, going as fast as his own confined position would allow him.

“Slow down-” Justin gasped, pausing everything he was doing to focus on the steady rhythm of Emmanuel’s hands. 

He almost hadn’t realized how much his body had craved Emmanuel’s skilled movements and the attentive pace that never failed to elicit the most intense gratification. He’d forgotten the way sudden jolts of pleasure traveled through him, and went to his head like a high that always came to a conclusion worth savoring.

“Keep going,” Emmanuel said, unknowingly verbalizing every plea harbored by Justin’s entirety. 

The words barely came across, since Justin was so consumed by the physical attention he’d been deprived of for so long. He managed to hold on to the action he’d been busy with before nearly losing all inhibitions. He moved his hand once again, but this time he was certain he couldn’t finish the task, as the writhing prevented him from keeping still.

Disaster had been bound to strike, and so it did. The razor slipped, penetrating Emmanuel’s skin and causing everything to become unbearably quiet. Blood trickled down his throat, but Emmanuel didn’t seem the least bit bothered, while Justin’s expression steadily grew more troubled as he observed the red liquid tracing Emmanuel’s skin. 

“I’m so sorry…” Justin said, looking as if he was a mere second away from bursting into tears.

Emmanuel simply gave him a twisted smile, taking the razor and finishing what Justin had started. He wiped off the sparse trail of blood and buttoned his shirt, as Justin followed him with gloomy eyes. There wasn’t much else to say, since he’d already apologized, and Emmanuel appeared neutral as ever, giving Justin the impression that everything was forgiven, just like he’d reassured him.

He walked past Justin when his shirt was in order, making it quite clear that they were done. Justin was absolutely stunned, wondering if Emmanuel had forgotten what he himself had been in the process of doing while Justin had shaved him. Of course, there was no possibility of it slipping Justin’s own mind, due to the lingering physical situation.

“But what about…” Justin quickly said, managing to catch Emmanuel’s attention, while hinting at the obvious problem. “You didn’t finish.”

Emmanuel took one glance at Justin’s unresolved issue, and crossed his arms. He looked absolutely satisfied with leaving the situation as it was, considering it perfectly fair. Justin, on the other hand, was thoroughly unsatisfied, still erect and needing Emmanuel to help him reach orgasm. 

“If I have to finish myself,” He smirked, gesturing at the no longer present beard to make a point. “So do you.”

Justin opened his mouth to say something, but Emmanuel had already left. He blinked a few times, taken aback by Emmanuel’s abrupt departure, questioning whether he was truly meant to finish by himself. It wouldn’t be that unusual for him to do so, and he’d been relegated to that method of stress relief more often than not in the recent weeks. Still, he’d much prefer the company Emmanuel so rarely spared for him, oddly displeased with being alone.

He’d been left with a few options, and none of them seemed ideal. The most obvious one was to masturbate like Emmanuel had inferred, and although Justin didn’t oppose it entirely, he needed intimacy. He could text Emmanuel, since he had his phone with him, but the probability of that being effective was very slim. After all, Emmanuel had left because he wanted to punish Justin. He’d promised that he’d be forgiving, but this didn’t come across as forgiveness. 

Justin knew that no one would be entering the men’s restroom, but he still considered using one of the stalls instead of staying by the sink. It seemed unnecessary however, and he decided to just get it over with then and there. He started off slowly, but couldn’t quite find a pleasant rhythm nor pace, and even though he tried to emulate Emmanuel’s technique, it was nowhere near as stimulating, and he soon gave up. 

He let out a frustrated sigh, almost getting irritated with having to perform such a simple task himself. He realized that the cause of his frustration had a positive aspect as well, which eased his nerves slightly. Emmanuel had consistently used his hands to get Justin off, though he hadn’t done so the first time, where Justin had used his own hands. The fact that he was now surprised with having to finish without any help was a sign that they’d made progress. It was happening naturally, even if this was a step backwards. 

He continued, this time doing as he usually did when masturbating, since his attempt at simulating intimacy had been unsuccessful. The closer he got to climaxing, the more unsatisfied he became, almost hissing at himself for being so inadequate. He threw his head back, suddenly catching sight of himself in the mirror, and feeling his cheeks flare up in response to his reflection.

Was this what Emmanuel saw? Justin hadn’t suspected that his own expression could be so lewd, and he instantly felt embarrassed to be seen by anyone while looking so shameless. Being a narcissist benefitted Justin immeasurably in that moment, as his own indecent reflection was enough to provoke an orgasm. 

***

Emmanuel got to the door, about to enter his office when he heard rapid footsteps approaching. He assumed that it was Justin, but the steps were that of someone wearing heels, and he knew that it had to be Lauren, since he recognized the specific sound her stomps made when she was agitated. He turned with a sigh, relatively confident that her irritability was directed at him. 

He was slightly thrown off when he spotted Se-Jin right behind her, trying to catch up. As if that wasn’t enough of a commotion in itself, Justin was there to witness the confrontation as well, approaching from the opposite direction. He crossed his arms, merely waiting for the outburst.

“I found these in her bag,” Lauren informed him, showing him the bottle of pills in her hand that had been collected from Se-Jin’s belongings. “They weren’t prescribed which means she got them illegally.”

Justin’s expression said it all, suggesting the situation was extremely serious, at least to someone not familiar with the drugs that Lauren had in her hand. Emmanuel was about to tell Justin to wait in his office while he dealt with the conflict, however this didn’t seem possible as an escalation had already occurred.

“She went through my bag!” Se-Jin interrupted, clearly finding this to be the real offense that needed to be discussed. “I’m pretty sure that’s illegal as well, but you don’t seem too concerned about that.”

Justin was uncertain if it was appropriate for him to be present during such a private conversation, nevertheless his curiosity didn’t allow him to turn away, and so he quietly listened in from his spot behind Se-Jin. Emmanuel appeared just as unresolved, perhaps struggling to choose who to side with on the matter.

“Excuse me for being wary when it comes to a heroin addict,” Lauren scoffed, stunning Justin even further with the unexpected turn of events. “I’ve searched your bag nearly everyday, but I didn’t think you’d actually be stupid enough to bring your stash here. I guess I was wrong.”

Se-Jin immediately went silent, just as unprepared for that revelation as both Emmanuel and Justin. She crossed her arms, mirroring Emmanuel’s position as if trying to cue a reaction that could defend her. When this didn’t seem to work, she decided to let Lauren continue with her scolding.

“I can’t believe you’d be so selfish,” She sighed, expressing disappointment with Se-Jin that was more personal than either of them would normally let anyone pick up on. “How could you do this to me! I’ve sacrificed everything to keep you clean. I haven’t been with anyone since our agreement. I never went out with Lewis, all because of you. But it was for nothing?”

Justin had never seen Lauren so exasperated and upset. It was slightly frightening how much of peoples’ private lives she was willing to spill in front of someone like Justin who really had no business learning such intimate details. There were also too many of said details for him to fully register before additional ones were brought to him. 

“Don’t use me as a fucking excuse for you not seeing anyone else, because that was never part of the agreement,” Se-Jin answered, fed up with the demeaning rhetoric that had been directed at her. “We both know that you won’t move on, since you’re still waiting around, hoping that one day Emmanuel will pity you enough to finally fuck you!”

Lauren didn’t waste a second, slapping Se-Jin across the cheek. After the sickening smack, everything went quiet, and while Justin had expected Emmanuel to step in, he stood as locked in place as the rest of them. No one had suspected that Se-Jin would snap the way that she had, and least of all Lauren who had been provoked enough to physically end the verbal abuse that she had initially started herself.

Justin wasn’t sure of which of the information had been credible, and what had been exaggerations meant to humiliate the person who’d been the victim of it. If even a third of it was true, Justin was faced with more than he could process. None of it was positive, quite the opposite in fact.

“Anyone would choose him over you,” Lauren answered potently, striking Se-Jin in the core of her insecurities - deliberately. “Just like you’d choose the drugs.”

Se-Jin herself resorted to the physical way of responding, as it was now considered fair game, despite the obvious impracticality of it. She surged forward, and soon they were entangled in what could only be described as a classic cat fight, in every sense of the term. Emmanuel intervened first, restraining Lauren, and gesturing for Justin to take care of Se-Jin. They separated the two women, and went to each their secluded space, in order to dampen the tension.

***

Lauren was sitting on Emmanuel’s desk sobbing uncontrollably as her superior untangled her blond locks of hair from her earring. Her waterproof mascara had served her well, and it seemed she’d learned her lesson from the previous time she’d broken down in tears that month. She dug her nails into the edges of the desk as her earring stung with the efforts to get her hair loose.

“Under regular circumstances I would have fired both you and Se-Jin,” Emmanuel said, completely unaffected by his own words, even though the message he was conveying appeared to upset Lauren further. “But I think a warning will suffice this time, assuming you’ll refrain from causing additional trouble from now on.”

He attempted to get her hair free as gently as possible, but the knot of blond locks wouldn’t budge. He tried with a little more force, however this only worsened the problem and resulted in more sobs and whimpers from Lauren. She didn’t exactly appear to be in significant pain but the pulling of her hair was a convenient outlet for her to get hysterical. Emmanuel decided to stop, long enough for her to pull it together.

“You saw the pills too!” She sobbed, as if it was enough to excuse her own wrongdoings, though Emmanuel did not look convinced in the least bit. “Don’t pretend I had no reason to expect something like this. Were you never concerned that she would relapse?”

Emmanuel sighed, studying the pills that he’d picked up from the floor after the altercation, although he knew everything there was to know about them. There was no prescription, and they had indeed been bought illegally, presumably from a dealer that Se-Jin knew personally from her days of addiction.

“Oxapax,” He nodded, and Lauren was utterly taken aback when he offered her one. “They’re relatively mild. Nowhere near the strength of regular diazepam, but applied under less severe circumstances. They treat acute anxiety, alternatively panic attacks. Normally someone with a history of substance abuse won’t be prescribed these, since they’re less effective for someone who has a high alcohol tolerance, plus they happen to be addictive over the course of several weeks of moderate use.”

Lauren didn’t intend to take it, but she accepted it regardless, examining the small pill in her hand. She didn’t entirely understand why Emmanuel was so familiar with this drug, or why he wasn’t particularly concerned with Se-Jin having gotten them illegally, especially considering her history of addiction.

“Someone like you would likely only need one half of a pill,” Emmanuel said, pointing at the line in the middle of the pill where it could be broken in half. “While someone like me would need two, taking into account my tolerance. I don’t know the effectiveness for someone with a heroin addiction and neither does Se-Jin. It’s unlikely that any health professional would prescribe her this type of drug, which is why she bought them illegally… for me.”

Lauren’s eyes widened slightly before everything started to fall into place. She suddenly understood why Emmanuel hadn’t reacted the way she herself had upon discovering what Se-Jin had carried around in her bag. Of course this didn’t serve to comfort her much, seeing as the drugs had been for someone, even if that someone wasn’t Se-Jin.

“The errand you made her run for you earlier today. That was it?” She asked, and Emmanuel confirmed with a nod. “You made a heroin addict go buy drugs?!” She yelled, and Emmanuel acknowledged how bad it actually came off. “Are you insane!”

She slapped him across the face, making it the second slap she’d delivered that afternoon, and this one was well deserved in her opinion. Emmanuel didn’t react with much else but a simple sigh, perhaps agreeing that he’d deserved it on some level or other. Nevertheless he’d make a case for himself either way.

“I trust Se-Jin to stay clean,” He said, resuming his efforts to untangle Lauren’s hair from her earring, this time taking it out before he continued. “She was the one who suggested it, saying that it was less harmful than the alcohol as a coping mechanism. It also spares me the hangovers and broken furniture. At least that’s the best case scenario.”

Lauren seemed to understand his reasoning, though she still had considerable worries regarding the illegality of the purchase and the dealer whom Se-Jin had contacted, as neither her nor Emmanuel knew this person. But as it were, she would have to trust Se-Jin, despite her own overly cautious nature.

“Not that I think Se-Jin’s impulsive rant had any merit,” Emmanuel started, bringing up the prior events as he finally succeeded in getting Lauren’s hair free. “I have no desire to sleep with you, no matter how much I may come to pity you one day.” 

Lauren chuckled at the unnecessary rejection, taking it far more lightly than what would otherwise have been expected from someone in her emotional state. The carefree smile on her lips, along with her warm expression, soon changed to one that hinted playfulness. She leaned in, close enough for her low voice to be heard.

“I know you wouldn’t be able to get it up anyway,” She teased, lips grazing his ear as she spoke. “But let’s not revisit that memory.”

Emmanuel didn’t appear particularly bothered by her taunting comment, supposedly having predicted a bit of pushback, which also happened to be deserved. He was tempted to retaliate a little for the sake of friendly banter, but decided against it, instead handing back her earring.

***

Se-Jin was sitting next to the sink in the breakroom, looking deeply disgruntled. Justin was soaking a clean piece of cloth, that he then pressed against the small scratch on Se-Jin’s cheek. It was only bleeding a minimal amount, however the skin around it appeared to be swelling slightly. 

“I’m pretty sure I broke her nail,” She scoffed, though relatively self satisfied with what she considered to be an accomplishment. “Dumb bitch had it coming.”

Justin sat down across from her, inspecting her mild injury. Besides some hair-pulling and scratches, neither she nor Lauren had delivered much harm to one another. He couldn’t deny that it had been slightly entertaining, not that he’d ever say it out loud as it would come across as insensitive, even if Se-Jin usually had humor regarding herself.

“Do you want to talk about the pills Lauren found in your bag?” He asked, wanting to respect her privacy, however much his curiosity was praying for her to share the relevant details. “She mentioned a heroin addiction, and if you ever need help then-”

“Justin shut the fuck up,” Se-Jin answered, before he had a chance to fully extend his assistance. “The pills weren’t mine,” She informed him, explaining the situation precisely the way Emmanuel was currently explaining it to Lauren. “If you want to discuss heroin, I can refer you to a dealer.”

It was an obvious joke, however Justin didn’t consider it a laughing matter, wondering how she was responding in such a disinterested manner to an ordeal like this. Furthermore, Se-Jin didn’t strike him as a junkie, and the thought would’ve never occurred to him, had Lauren not brought it to his attention.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, as if a matter like that belonged in a casual conversation, or could be mentioned nonchalantly. 

Se-Jin scoffed, finding his question as ridiculous as he later would as well. She leaned back in her chair, and although she was silent, Justin could tell that she was slowly preparing herself to deliver a scolding, that Justin was more than ready for at that point. It was preferable to her storming off, which he would’ve been just as prepared for.

“You don’t know how people look at someone like me,” She said, somewhat hostile in her initial comment. “You couldn’t possibly imagine it, even if you tried. Having your bag searched because once you’re an addict, no one will ever truly believe that you’re clean. It becomes your identity, and anyone who looks at you regards you as such. It’s not like other conditions, because everyone considers it your own fault.”

Justin didn’t know how to respond, not able to refute any of her claims, since after all, how would he know? As she’d pointed out; he couldn’t possibly imagine. There was a reasonable explanation for why she hadn’t wished to bring the issue to his attention, but it only now occurred to him as she’d made him aware.

“I’m sorry,” He said quietly, although he didn’t want to give her the impression that he pitied her, even if it was inevitable. “But I do believe that you’re clean.”

He knew that the Macron family had its fair share of problems, but he’d never suspected that the bundle of complications would be this immense. Emmanuel was trauma riddled enough to begin with, and Se-Jin was becoming almost equally troubled in Justin’s perception. Their parents had damaged them thoroughly, he thought.

“That’s because you haven’t seen me with a needle in my arm,” Se-Jin shrugged, startling Justin with the image she’d now imprinted in his conscience. “Lauren has. That’s why she’s so uptight about it. She considers it her responsibility to keep me clean, so I can’t exactly blame her for getting worked up over finding those pills.”

Justin hadn’t gotten around to process that aspect of the new information he’d learned, but he could tell that it made sense. Adding up all the details, and simply using common sense, it seemed more or less obvious. He couldn’t say he was surprised, and he figured that Emmanuel hadn’t been either.

“I’d suspected that the two of you were together,” He chuckled, getting caught up in the memory of the instances where he should have guessed it for certain. 

Se-Jin looked at him with an amused expression on her face, lighting a cigarette without as much as a glance at the lighter, much to Justin’s uneasiness. He’d only just then finished patching her up, and now her risk averse behavior was showing again. He hadn’t thought smoking in an area not meant for smoking was an actual habit of hers, however she’d done so in his presence multiple times, and too vast an amount to pass it off as a one time thing.

“You were too busy eye-humping Emmanuel to suspect anything,” She scoffed, taking a drag at her cigarette. “Don’t lie.”

Justin bit his lip somewhat shyly, unable to provide a rebuttal, since she’d most likely been correct in that assessment. Of course, the slightly teasing comment didn’t serve to distract him for long, and he was soon on to other thoughts and speculations regarding what had happened in front of Emmanuel’s office.

“Lauren is in love with Emmanuel?” He asked, recalling the way that particular accusation had provoked Lauren to a hitherto unmatched degree. 

He’d been wary of her from the start, based off of a strange hunch and her unusual behavior that seemed to differ from the other assistants. She was overly protective of him, and Justin could’ve sworn she overexerted herself fairly regularly for his sake. In addition, she never appeared uncomfortable with Emmanuel’s deviant sexual habits, even if she’d expressed concern over whether it would scare Justin off.

“She loves him,” Se-Jin confirmed, coming across as oddly neutral regarding that assertion. “As if he was family,” She clarified, sensing Justin’s worry relating to the thought of Lauren as an additional rival. “You need to remember that they’ve been close since childhood, and they basically grew up together. Emmanuel sort of regards her as an older sister. He never showed that type of interest in her so calm down.”

Justin let out an audible sigh of relief, wondering if he’d been too quick to stir up his own anxiety, not to mention jealousy. He knew that if Se-Jin wasn’t particularly concerned then there was no reason for him to be either. That didn’t answer all of his questions however, and Se-Jin had probably seen that coming, answering his next question before he had a chance to ask it.

“The reason I said that she was waiting for him to pity her enough to fuck her is that I knew it would stab her right where it hurts the most,” She explained, and Justin supposed that was a reasonable motive, even if it wasn’t a pretty one. “Emmanuel knows that too, or at least I think he does. It’s been like a decade since she moved on.”

Justin paid more mind to the last line than the statement as a whole, as it sparked a marked amount of new contemplations. Lauren had in fact been in love with Emmanuel? When? Did it result in anything? Before he could ask Se-Jin any of these newly developed questions, Emmanuel and Lauren joined them in the breakroom, though Emmanuel stayed in the frame of the door, as if he’d only intended to drop Lauren off.

“Took you long enough,” Se-Jin complained, reaching out for Lauren who approached her casually. “Kiss it better for me,” She said, as if the conflict had already been forgotten, gesturing at the small injury on her cheek, and Justin took it as a cue for him to leave and let them have privacy. 

***

Emmanuel beckoned Justin into his office, sensing that they’d have an ensuing conversation as well, following the spectacle that Emmanuel was partly responsible for. He sat on his desk where Lauren had previously been sitting, and Justin took a seat on the coffee table, although that choice happened to be slightly peculiar. After all, there were two unoccupied sofas right next to him.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that,” Emmanuel smiled charmingly, as if to distract Justin from the absurdity of the situation he had indeed witnessed. “I assume Se-Jin cleared up the misunderstanding, and that she explained everything to you?”

Justin nodded, although he couldn’t be entirely sure. If Se-Jin had left anything out, Justin wouldn’t know about it. Nevertheless he felt confident that he was able to comprehend the matter. This didn’t eliminate the questions that had arisen from the unlikely events, and he was quick to ask them in a random order, afraid he might be interrupted like he had moments earlier with Se-Jin.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the pills?” He asked, concerned with the level of trust between them since it apparently hadn’t been enough for Emmanuel to tell him something this crucial. “I thought you were doing better, so I don’t understand why you suddenly need them. Should I be worried?”

Emmanuel didn’t appreciate Justin’s supposed concern for him, which he considered to be somewhat patronizing. If there was a problem, Emmanuel would be sure to solve it himself, reluctant to let Justin assume he’d ever rely on him. It almost irritated him to the extent that he weighed the option of telling Justin to get out. An outburst like that most likely wouldn’t pacify any of the preexisting tension however.

“If anything unexpected happens - such as the unforeseen visit from my father - then these pills might spare me the trouble of seeing Pedro here when I wake up with a hangover worse than any prior one,” He shrugged, settling for an answer he figured Justin would be satisfied with. “And I’d be conscious the entire time, which works out to everyone’s benefit. Especially mine.”

“But why would you need Pedro when I’m here?” Justin asked, perfectly serious despite the comical aspects of his question. “I can do whatever he usually does for you. Am I not good enough?”

Justin’s inquiry caught Emmanuel off guard, and he almost choked on pure air in response to it. If made to choose between Pedro and Justin, there was no competition, and Emmanuel had thought that to be evident. He didn’t entirely understand why Justin couldn’t replace Pedro either, seeing as he already had, and with ease.

“You’re more than just good enough Justin,” He sighed, internally aching at how sappy his words clearly were, notwithstanding the sincerity. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you. Normally I fire, or receive a letter of resignation from my assistants after two weeks if not less, but you’re right here. If you weren’t good enough, you wouldn’t be.”

Justin smiled briefly as the words soothed his apprehensiveness, but the reality was far too complex to settle his worries that easily. He wondered if Emmanuel knew that every vague answer only spurred more questions on Justin’s part, which he himself would carry the burden of answering. 

But of course, Justin had an Achilles heel as well, and he’d managed to become distracted within the next second, as Emmanuel spread his legs casually, without realizing the havoc of lewd thoughts he’d suddenly provoked in Justin’s mind. Sitting like that, he was giving Justin a clear view of the fabric of his trousers that strained around his crotch. 

“How can I be of assistance then?” Justin asked with a low voice, making his intentions overt. 

Emmanuel didn’t pay much attention to the proposition at first, merely chuckling slightly at the flirtatious undertone, until he was confronted with an impulsive desire of his own. Perhaps the opportunity had presented itself too conveniently for events not to turn out in an unfortunate manner, however Emmanuel only had the temptations of his playtime drawer in mind.

He reached out for Justin, who stood up and complied with the non verbal request by positioning himself in arms-reach. Emmanuel wrapped his legs around his waist, playing with Justin’s hair as he settled on a suitable activity for them. Less than ten seconds had passed when he noticed something hard pressing against him, indicating that Justin was already being stirred up by the light foreplay. 

Emmanuel couldn’t help but chuckle, finding Justin’s stamina to be ridiculously high, considering that he’d presumably gotten off in the men’s room earlier where Emmanuel had left him. Being caught with such an obvious situation, Justin would usually become flustered and apologize, yet this time he was bolder than Emmanuel had previously seen him. 

This newfound backbone only became all the more prominent when Justin leaned in, managing to make Emmanuel follow that movement submissively, until he was almost resting with his chest on top of Emmanuel. He pushed the button underneath the desk, something that his superior had completely forgotten to do, which reaffirmed the effect Justin similarly had on Emmanuel. He considered it a small victory. 

They sat back up, Justin once again standing between Emmanuel’s legs at the edge of the desk as he had before he’d bent down. The blinds were down, and they now enjoyed all the privacy needed to continue. Emmanuel wasn’t thrilled with the stunt Justin had pulled, and he’d acquired a need to put Justin back in his place. In his opinion, there was a lesson to be taught.

He unbuckled Justin’s belt without breaking eye contact, unzipping his pants and letting them fall to the floor around his ankles. The wet spot was already showing on Justin’s underwear, and Emmanuel got a degenerate idea just looking at the excessive precum. He unbuttoned Justin’s shirt slowly as the idea took form.

“Shall we do something about your tendency to have premature ejaculations?” He asked, in his characteristic degrading fashion, smirking slightly as Justin’s masochistic side showed itself as the wet spot widened. “Only if you trust me of course.”

He knew that Justin would go along with anything, as long as it was to please him, and this was no exception. He finished unbuttoning Justin’s shirt, but didn’t take it off, instead redirecting his attention to the underwear which he likewise let fall to the floor. Justin was almost entirely undressed, and Emmanuel went down from the desk on the other side, rummaging through his drawer to find the right item, while Justin slipped out of his shoes, and the clothes at his feet.

Emmanuel returned to the other side to stand in front of Justin, and he paused instinctively when his eyes met the sight of the naked body that was his to use as he so pleased. Indeed, he’d never actually seen Justin’s lower half and chest exposed simultaneously. It was quite a sight to behold.

“You’re very beautiful Justin,” Emmanuel stated as was it an objective fact, studying his figure attentively. “I don’t believe I’ve told you that before, which is quite unfortunate because I want you to know how I look at you with adoration.”

Justin finally had to succumb to the blush that had threatened to bloom for a while, and he let his curls cover as much of his flustered features as was possible. The praise was not particularly exceptional, however to Justin it was. He often found himself appreciating Emmanuel’s entirety, but now he was allowed an intense feeling of adoration himself, which was utterly gratifying. 

Emmanuel took a step closer, and only then did Justin notice the item in his hand. It was a strange toy that he’d never seen before and couldn’t figure out the function of. It was shaped like a pencil, with a ring at the end presumably meant to retract the toy, and although it was thin, the circumference differed all the way down. 

“I can tell by your expression that you don’t know what this is,” Emmanuel smiled cunningly, letting Justin hold the item in his hands. “If you did in fact know, you’d be looking far more nervous. It’s meant to stimulate the urethra.”

Justin almost choked right then and there, gaze darting from the object to his erection where it was meant to be applied. When he caught Emmanuel’s eyes again, his mind had already glitched out. Something like that had to be anatomically impossible, and he was too uncomfortable imagining it.

“It goes inside?...” He asked with a near stutter, tempted to take a step backwards for the sake of safety. “Emmanuel I can’t- I’ve never-”

He could barely get any coherent words out, though he’d been certain that he trusted Emmanuel enough to let him do almost anything he so desired. This was somehow not included it seemed, and his fear of disappointing Emmanuel apparently wasn’t strong enough to persuade him into compliance. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s called a ‘penis plug’ but I cannot force myself to say that more than once at a time, for obvious reasons,” Emmanuel went on to say, dismissing what Justin had just expressed. “I’ve been told it’s enjoyable, but I haven’t tested it out myself, only applied it on others. It doesn’t hurt.”

Even with Emmanuel’s reassurances, Justin wasn’t able to get used to the idea, let alone the actual prospect, of ever doing such a thing. While Emmanuel said it didn’t hurt, every rational thought told Justin that this couldn’t be the case, and the sensation of the object in his hands didn’t provide him much comfort. But how could he refuse to even give it a try? He wanted to please Emmanuel after all. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, biting his lip nervously, only becoming slightly eased when seeing Emmanuel smile genuinely in response. 

He fidgeted a bit with the object as Emmanuel found a pair of handcuffs, that he guessed was meant to ensure that he wouldn’t impulsively resist or interfere. In a situation like that a safeword could be beneficial, however he assumed that Emmanuel would stop if Justin asked him to. There was no reason to make matters more complicated, and if he were to forget the safeword agreed upon, things would only spiral out of control.

“Sit down,” Emmanuel simply stated, gesturing at the spot on the floor next to the desk. “Put your arms behind your back, and gather your wrists around the leg of the desk.”

Justin did as he was told, skin prickling with goosebumps as he sat on the cold floor, wearing only his thin white shirt that Emmanuel had allowed him to keep on. He felt his movements being restricted by the handcuffs that Emmanuel put him in, kneeling beside him and testing out the durability by pulling at the link between the cuffs. There was no legitimate reason to do this, besides of course Emmanuel’s pedantic nature, though Justin had noticed once before that these handcuffs were not meant for breaking out of on a mere whim.

“Are they too tight?” Emmanuel asked unusually accommodating. 

Justin shook his head, and Emmanuel moved to sit in front of him after grabbing a bottle of liquid from his desk, which Justin assumed had to be some type of lubricant. He was already tensing up, before Emmanuel had even started what he could only imagine was going to be an unpleasant activity. 

He gathered his legs, drawing his knees up to his chest, covering himself nervously. Emmanuel removed the cap of the bottle, overly cautious not to get any of it on his hands as he dipped the object into the liquid. Justin found it strange, since it could presumably be wiped off if needed. Perhaps it was expensive? That most likely wasn’t it, considering that Emmanuel didn’t extend his precautions to the liquid he’d so far spilled on the floor. What a waste. 

“Are you ready?” Emmanuel asked, snapping Justin out of his speculations. “I’ll be careful, but tell me if there’s a problem.”

Justin nodded, and spread his legs hesitantly, although he’d become more used to the prospect of what Emmanuel was about to do. He didn’t harbor any fear in regard to Emmanuel, but that wasn’t enough to erase the worries he still had when looking at the foreign object, that would soon be placed somewhere he’d never expected any object to be placed. 

Surprisingly enough, Justin had somehow managed to stay erect throughout the entire preparation, and Emmanuel rewarded him with a slow kiss on his collarbone, provoking more precum to spill onto his stomach. The shivers could no longer be attributed to the coldness of the floor beneath him, as he was experiencing warmth traveling through his body and gathering in his chest, and notably his cheeks.

Emmanuel started penetrating Justin’s front, sliding the item into the urethra slowly, while Justin attempted not to squirm. It wasn’t exclusively uncomfortable, but the sensation was so unfamiliar and anxiety provoking, Justin was having a difficult time enduring it. Emmanuel appeared thoroughly focused only on completing the task without letting the lubricant trickle down his skin. 

“Good boy,” He praised, and let go of the object as it was fully inserted, causing Justin’s eyes to widen with disbelief at the limits his body had yet to reach. “It went in smoothly. You did well.”

Justin took a deep breath, scared to move even an inch out of fear of the sensation it would possibly elicit. He simply stared at the sight between his legs, finding it absolutely inconceivable. It almost hadn’t occurred to him what was supposed to happen next, and he hadn’t thought to ask either. When he looked up, Emmanuel was putting the cap back on the bottle, and looking at the clock on the wall as if it carried any significance. That in itself made Justin even more nervous.

He couldn’t deny that the feeling of having something rub against the inside of his most intimate spot was somewhat pleasant in a way he hadn’t thought it could be. He hadn’t felt anything like this before, and that was somehow thrilling on its own, not to mention nerve wracking beyond belief. 

“I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes,” Emmanuel said nonchalantly, almost as if he hadn’t failed to mention this being part of his intentions. “Considering it’s your first time with abandonment play, we won’t take it further than fifteen minutes, and I won’t be leaving the building.”

Justin gasped, not understanding what the purpose of Emmanuel leaving him was. He’d never heard of anything called ‘abandonment play’ but the name of the game alone was enough to frighten him, hinting at the unpleasant direction of the supposed ‘play’ he’d mentioned. Wasn’t it cruel to simply leave Justin, and additionally with a foreign object inserted in such an intimate place? 

“Don’t go,” Justin pleaded, already becoming erratic as Emmanuel got ready to leave the office without him. 

Emmanuel didn’t even seem to comprehend how this would present any issues, although knowing Justin’s dependence and sensitivity. He merely turned to him, tilting his head in confusion, not understanding the urgency. He knelt beside Justin once again, but didn’t intend to do so for long.

“I will come back for you Justin,” He reassured him, though rather idly. “If you can wait for me then there will be a reward. Think of it as delayed gratification.”

Justin considered it reluctantly, already regretting having agreed to participate in Emmanuel’s twisted play. He’d gone along with some quite outlandish things before, but even he had a line that he wasn’t particularly willing to cross. Emmanuel raised his head, apparently getting another idea, which didn’t serve to bring Justin any comfort whatsoever. He stood up, searching his drawer, and when he returned, he’d brought a blindfold.

“Pretend I’m still here if it gets too much,” He said, taking control of yet another one of Justin’s senses. 

This only heightened his other senses, and knowing Emmanuel Justin could only assume that this had been a part of the equation. He wouldn’t be able to tell when Emmanuel had in fact left the office, but perhaps this was for the best, seeing as he could delude himself into thinking that Emmanuel wouldn’t leave at all.

He didn’t hear a door close, and he figured that it was deliberate, which he was thankful for. He didn’t know what he was meant to do for the next fifteen minutes, other than wait of course. He intended to follow through on this, wanting to please Emmanuel to the best of his abilities. There was also the small detail of the reward, that Emmanuel had refrained from letting him know the substance of, and if he was lucky then it would be worth it.

He counted the quiet ticking of the clock, lacking something better to do, and even his own creative mind couldn’t distract him from the circumstances. He presumed that the fifteen minutes would go by slowly but surely. If he’d known that it would be this easy then he wouldn’t have given in to the initial anxiety so submissively. 

He arched his back suddenly, and an intense tingling spread without much warning, consuming him entirely until he was unable to comprehend much else but that unusual sensation. He panted, feeling himself lose all inhibitions in the span of a single minute, writhing as he tried to endure the strange stimulation of the object and whatever strange effects it carried on his senses.

He noticed the same bizarre tingling under his left foot, spreading across the sole unrestrained, and he remembered having gotten some of the lubricant under his foot accidentally. This wasn’t a coincidence, and there was a reason Emmanuel had been so careful not to get any of the liquid on himself. This lubricant wasn’t the least bit regular, and something told Justin it would only get harder to endure as the seconds went by.

After approximately 60 seconds he could barely stand it, trembling violently as the stimulation became increasingly intense to the point he felt his bones becoming affected by the weird tingling as well. It was absolutely excruciating, since the object was blocking his urethra, preventing him from ejaculating, which he would undoubtedly have done had he not been hindered. He struggled against the handcuffs, and his skin started stinging with the unrelenting friction from the rapid movements.

He curled his toes until the joints were aching, and he was once again drawing his knees up to his chest as to aid the discomfort. He couldn’t break free of the handcuffs unsurprisingly, and while he knew that doing so would be disobeying Emmanuel, it didn’t stop him from trying vigorously. It was of no use, and he unconsciously tried to provoke an orgasm to somehow rid himself of the unbearable feeling. 

He soon wished he hadn’t, because when he succeeded in orgasming, it was the type that he would have rather been without. He’d heard of dry orgasms before, and he’d been on the verge of one the last time Emmanuel had prevented him from ejaculating, but he wouldn’t have thought they felt like this. He tried navigating through the unending waves of pleasure, however they were persisting, as if he was having a constant orgasm despite the fact that he felt as if he was about to have yet another one. 

He tried pressing his thighs together, repositioning the object somehow, but as it were, the slightest of movements only made everything all the more intense. He was completely stunned, unable to stand it for much longer, and his muscles twitched in protest. His skin was burning, as if flames were flaring under the surface, while his throat was becoming sore from the whimpers and quick panting. 

He wanted it to stop, and he needed someone to help him, but he was in fact alone in the office, left to his own capabilities which in that moment didn’t provide him much help. He realized that he had no way of escaping and no way of calling out for Emmanuel to make him return. He could only wait. 

He shivered as the next wave of pleasure rushed through him, provoking the second dry orgasm, and he nearly slammed his head against the edge of the desk when it reached its peak. He’d never climaxed that intensely, and it was almost too much to handle. He bit down hard on his tongue, and as expected, this one would last just as long as the one before, if not longer. 

When tears started running down his cheeks, soaking through the blindfold, he realized that he was scared, and perhaps more so than he’d ever been of any punishment Emmanuel could give him. He’d take any punishment over this, if the choice was his. But while he would’ve gladly suffered a reprimand or what was worse, he couldn’t do anything but patiently wait for the fifteen minutes to pass.

He’d lost all sense of time, having lost track of the seconds he’d counted, and the ones that remained. It could be anywhere from an hour to a minute, he really couldn’t tell at that point. He was paralyzed, simply waiting as his body refused to give him a break from the unconventional pleasure that still roamed within him. He felt as if his pubic bone had gone numb, and the feeling concentrated only where he would have rather it not. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to endure it, and he knew that it would be much harder to bear when he was alone. He couldn’t help but want Emmanuel to be there and take care of him, even if the one who’d initially caused this problem also happened to be Emmanuel. These needs were quite conflicting.

When he sensed the third orgasm about to wash over him, he felt gentle hands removing the blindfold, and although his vision was obscured by tears, he recognized Emmanuel. His hands were warm as they removed the damp curls that veiled Justin’s features. Emmanuel knelt in front of him, and while Justin had expected him to remove the handcuffs as well, Emmanuel didn’t intend to do that considering the erratic state that Justin was in.

“Justin don’t cry, you did well,” He whispered, as Justin continued to tremble and writhe. “I’m going to remove the toy, it’s not going to hurt.”

Indeed none of it had hurt so far, but Justin wouldn’t be content with characterizing any of the sensations as particularly enjoyable. Nevertheless, Emmanuel was there now and it was over… right? He spread his legs with a bit of difficulty, letting Emmanuel alleviate the burden of the toy, as he hoped he would be spared yet another dry orgasm that threatened to consume him. 

Emmanuel barely grazed the toy with his hand before Justin nearly kicked him. Fortunately Emmanuel’s reflexes saved him the impact as he caught Justin’s leg, pushing it back down with a slight laugh, although Justin didn’t find the situation funny at all. 

“I don’t like this-” He sobbed arching his back, while shaking as he attempted to keep his composure. “I’m going to-”

Emmanuel quickly realized the severity of the situation, witnessing Justin writhe while experiencing yet another dry orgasm. Even he hadn’t expected that this would occur. He was well aware that Justin came relatively fast, but he didn’t consider the possibility of this happening with a blocked urethra. 

“I can’t take it out if you won’t let me,” He explained as sympathetically as he could, however Justin didn’t appear to even register his words. “I’m trying to help, won’t you let me?”

Justin was still trembling violently, tears dripping from his lashes as he tried to keep the panic from taking over. Emmanuel tried once again to remove the object, but Justin’s erratic movements and convulsions prevented him from doing so, and he figured he’d have to calm Justin down before he could make any progress.

“Scared, I’m scared,” Justin gasped, chest rising and falling rapidly, and pulse racing even as he felt as if his heart had stopped beating. “I don’t like this- I don’t want-”

It was the first time Emmanuel had done something Justin had expressed that he didn’t like and didn’t want, and Emmanuel realized that he’d messed up thoroughly. Another realization made itself apparent to him, and this one was almost as unpleasant. Justin couldn’t take Pedro’s place, because Emmanuel couldn’t bear hurting him the way he consistently did with Pedro. 

“Justin it’s okay,” He said, trying to comfort him but without much luck.

His eyes fell upon the bottle of pills he’d gotten from Se-Jin, as he scanned the office for something that could aid the situation. Justin was anxious, there was no doubt about it, but Oxapax only started having an impact after at least 20 minutes which Justin couldn’t wait for. Furthermore, when the object had been removed, presumably so would the cause of Justin’s anxiety. The only quick fix would be to rip off the band aid. 

Whenever Emmanuel attempted to remove the object however, Justin would resist, fighting tooth and nail. Touching the object only seemed to aggravate the situation further, which in itself was a problem. Emmanuel would have to distract him long enough to be able to remove the toy without Justin noticing before it was sufficiently retracted. 

There was one method Justin had taken advantage of himself during the instances where Emmanuel himself had been struck by a panic attack, and it had appeared to be quite effective. It was at least worth a try, and as time went by Emmanuel was running out of other options.

He leaned in, raising Justin’s chin and catching his lips fervently, until Justin stopped trembling enough for Emmanuel to grab the metal ring at the end of the toy and retract it. Justin instantly cried out, trying to resist, however Emmanuel was already close enough that he managed to remove it completely before Justin could prevent him. 

What happened next was more unexpected than anything else that had taken place that day, needless to say the day had been plenty eventful already. Justin arched his back as his entire body strained, and he had his final orgasm. This one wasn’t dry, quite the opposite actually, and the endless stream of fluid got more thin as it pooled on the floor. There was more semen than a regular ejaculation would cause, and it was far more clear, almost like water. Emmanuel had never seen anything like this. It was quite the sight. He was familiar with the phenomenon called squirting, but he hadn’t thought it was possible for men.

He flinched, attempting to cross his legs, but it was of no use. Justin’s climax had a domino effect and Emmanuel tried to ignore his own physical response, focusing on Justin who appeared to finally calm down. He slumped forward and Emmanuel didn’t register what had happened before everything was quiet. 

“Justin,” He whispered, lifting his head gently to discover that the climax had been intense enough to render Justin unconscious. “You did so well for me.”

He kissed Justin’s forehead, grabbing a blanket from the sofa and lying Justin down on it after he’d uncuffed him. He wouldn’t be able to carry Justin to somewhere more comfortable, and he hoped that the blanket would suffice. The white shirt was drenched in more than one bodily fluid, one of them being sweat from Justin’s burning skin. He’d let Justin cool off before covering him with another blanket

He opened a pack of tissues, unzipping his pants and cleaning the inside before the fluid had a chance to soak through the fabric and become noticeable. He went on to clean up Justin as well, trying to distract himself from the fact that he’d managed to come untouched just by watching Justin. 

He wasn’t sure what had provoked it, but knowing his own sadistic tendencies, he guessed that Justin’s overt desperation and tears had stirred him up, more than he had been able to control in that moment. He hadn’t planned for any of it to happen, but there was an ever present worry that if things kept escalating like this, then both he and Justin would suffer as a result.

He could only be thankful for the fact that Justin had been too preoccupied with his own ejaculation to notice Emmanuel’s. If he’d been even the slightest bit more negligent than that, Justin would have become aware of the effect he had on him, which was exactly what Emmanuel had been trying to counteract. 

He sighed, knowing he’d have to get water before the sticky fluid dried and made the mess even more difficult to clean up. He didn’t want to leave Justin after he’d fainted so abruptly, however he didn’t expect anything to happen if he decided to get a bowl of water. However the last time he’d been absent it had resulted in the same mess he was trying to clean up. Nevertheless, he reluctantly left the office, after giving Justin a careful kiss on his cheek, as to make up for leaving. 

***

Se-Jin was sitting on top of the counter in the breakroom, taking calm sips of her coffee, her attitude to the surroundings contrasting strictly to Emmanuel’s, which she picked up on as soon as he entered. She raised an eyebrow, observing him as he paced around to find something to fill up with water.

“Why do you look like that?” She asked casually, and he looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to specify. “Like you just buried someone in your backyard.”

Emmanuel scoffed dismissively, continuing what he’d been doing prior to her odd comment. He found a bucket underneath the sink, and decided that it was suitable enough, while Se-Jin kept studying his strange behavior with intrigue, still not knowing exactly what he was up to yet.

“I don’t have a backyard,” He mumbled absentmindedly, as if she’d been serious, which she could have been for all he cared. “I have a question,” He said, clearing his throat, while preparing himself for the uncomfortable conversation he was soon to take part in, knowing Se-Jin. “What do you know about squirting?”

She didn’t appear particularly taken aback by the unusual sexual topic, but merely considered his question thoughtfully. She took another sip of her coffee, and Emmanuel fidgeted slightly as he waited for her to answer. Normally he wouldn’t have a problem discussing these things, but this suddenly felt too specific.

“Well some women squirt whenever they orgasm, regardless of whether it’s through penetration or clitoral stimulation,” She began, but Emmanuel quickly gestured for her to skip to the next part. “Mostly squirting is just kind of like a next level orgasm. It’s not that uncommon, but it depends on the woman I suppose.”

“I don’t mean squirting for women,” He said, filling the bucket simultaneously, to put less emphasis on his statement. “Can men also…?”

Se-Jin finally reacted with something other than indifference, noticing Emmanuel’s genuine curiosity. She smiled to herself, amused that she knew something about sex that Emmanuel didn’t, and that he’d been relegated to seeking her out in order to have his questions answered.

“I don’t think that happens outside of porn,” She told him, though her information didn’t appear to satisfy him in the slightest. “Why are you asking?”

There was a prolonged moment of silence where Emmanuel simply ran a hand through his hair, as Se-Jin slowly came to the realization that she should have made the instant he’d brought up the subject. She failed in suppressing an audible ‘aw’ and Emmanuel sighed in response.

“Justin actually…” She started, but wasn’t sure where to take the sentence, jumping ahead to the next question on her mind. “How?”

Such a simple question, and yet Emmanuel had no idea how he was supposed to answer. Se-Jin didn’t appear willing to let it go before she’d received a proper explanation however, and Emmanuel was starting to wish he’d never let her in on what had happened with Justin in his office.

“If I knew, I wouldn’t be asking,” He simply stated, already tired of the conversation. “You’ve been of absolutely no help, and I’m utterly disappointed in you,” He jokingly reprimanded her.

“Well I’ve read that when a woman squirts - and I’m not saying that Justin is a woman - the function is to kill the bacteria in the urethra after sex, which is why it happens during orgasm, when sex is presumably over,” She explained, and for the first time Emmanuel found the information useful. “But I’m not sure if it’s the same for men. I really don’t have any experience when it comes to this.”

If Se-Jin’s theory was correct, Emmanuel thought, then the unusual reaction could have been caused by the toy or the lubricant, or simply as a coincidence. If it happened to be a ‘next level orgasm’ which sometimes occurred after multiple orgasms, then this could’ve also been the explanation. 

“You can make a woman squirt by continuing stimulation of the G-spot, but that’s also rare during intercourse since men don’t know how to find it, let alone keep track of it,” She went on, airing some of her own judgements. “During lesbian sex however-”

She’d been so caught up in her contemplations that she barely noticed that Emmanuel had left. 

***

Justin was still asleep when Emmanuel returned, and the temperature of his skin no longer warranted any concern. He put down the water next to the blanket, and started cleaning up after the mess he’d somehow created, and despite his movements, Justin stayed sound asleep throughout. He covered him with the extra blanket, hoping that it was enough to keep Justin warm despite the wet shirt. 

Emmanuel made a mental note to ask Lauren to find some clean clothes for Justin, and some sheets so that he could stay the night with him, assuming that he wouldn’t have the energy to make the commute back home. He sat down next to Justin and let his head rest in his lap like a pillow, seeing as he didn’t have any actual pillow available he could provide Justin with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lesbian side story no one asked for   
> Happy new year's in advance <3


	9. Chaste

Lauren climbed the vines that curled against the brick wall, until she reached the window, peering inside the darkened room. There were no movements or stirring, and she carefully pulled at the folded piece of paper that had been positioned in between to keep the window unlocked. She slipped inside stealthily, closing the window behind her with caution, before turning on the dim light of a lamp in the corner. 

She turned to the mahogany closet, taking a rigid breath as she stepped closer, turning the key and drawing the door towards her small frame. The curled up figure at the bottom of the closet stretched his arms up to her, and she obliged to the unspoken request, picking up the boy with relative ease despite her own unimpressive size. She was careful not to get her dress wet, though it had already been thoroughly dirtied from the unconventional entrance. 

“Let’s get you out of those pants,” She heaved with the effort of carrying him to the bed, placing him on the edge, and helping him out of the drenched pants.

She got a clean pair from the drawer, where most of the clothes were being stored due to the alternative purpose of the closet space. She likewise assisted in getting the dry pair of pants on, and she had to admit to herself that the boy was growing out of her grasp, making tasks like these all the more difficult. 

He had yet to say a word, but this wasn’t uncharacteristic of him, and Lauren decided to go ahead with reciting the usual line that followed this routine. They crawled into bed, and he nestled close to her, enjoying the warmth that the closet he’d previously been trapped in had lacked. 

“When the sun rises,” She urged, making sure that he was listening. “I’ll help you put the other pants back on, and you need to wait in the closet for your parents to let you out. Just the way we usually do it.”

There was no response to signal confirmation, though she had confidence that Emmanuel would follow her orders as obediently as he habitually did. She didn’t turn off the light, knowing this would unsettle him, and that keeping it on would help the wave of sleep wash over him faster. 

“Can you sing to me?” Emmanuel asked quietly with his small voice, as he would tend to do when his surroundings were too silent. 

Lauren nodded, looking down at his glossy teal eyes. She began humming the lullaby that she knew to be Emmanuel’s favorite, and she went on like that until he was sound asleep. His messy curls were scattered across the pillow, and Lauren noted the gold glistening lightly in every strand.

***

Emmanuel paused his cantering for a brief moment when noticing his parents approaching him and the other children. He stood there fussing with a questioning expression, teal eyes oblivious, while the little dark-haired girl looked up at his mother from where she was holding her hand. 

“This is your little sister, Emmanuel,” His father smiled, introducing the girl to him.

Emmanuel blinked twice, unsure of how to respond but figuring that his usual mute attitude would suffice. He had not been called by the name that his parents preferred using, and the stern treatment wasn’t nearly as present as he was used to. The girl across from him, significantly smaller, appeared completely unfazed by the circumstances, as if she had been robbed of all impressionability 

“Say hi Clara,” His mother encouraged, though the urging wasn’t directed at Emmanuel even when using that name. “Go on.”

The little girl stepped forward with an extended hand, clearly initiating a handshake which Emmanuel thought to be extremely off putting. Nevertheless, he accepted her hand, holding it momentarily without engaging in a proper handshake. He smiled slightly, and this seemed to amuse the little girl, who tipped on her toes with excitement. 

Lauren gazed at them from the other end of the room, excluded from the group of children who were playing, and the family alike. Se-Jin seemed to notice her however, choosing her as the person she would explore the presence of first, which Emmanuel’s parents didn’t seem to mind. 

***

“Do you sometimes wish that your reality wasn’t reality?” Lauren asked, and Emmanuel dropped the pencil in his hand, which scattered inky spots across his unfinished drawing. “I mean…” She sighed, unable to find the right words that could explain the meaning she’d intended to convey. 

“Is that an adult thing?” Se-Jin asked, prompting a scoff from Pedro, making her pout at his arrogance. “That’s not fair, I’m only six. You’re a grandpa.”

Pedro stuck out his tongue at her, though he had to admit that his initial reaction was mostly in response to Lauren’s odd musings. If it was an adult thing then neither of them would understand, considering their own young age. Perhaps he was reluctant to admit that even he was curious as to what she’d been inferring. 

“Then what am I?” Emmanuel questioned, seeing as he was closer to Se-Jin’s age than Lauren and Pedro’s, and Se-Jin merely shrugged, probably not having given it much thought. “Am I an adult even if I don’t understand it either?”

Lauren appeared thoroughly annoyed with being the only one who seemed to understand what she’d been trying to say, though perhaps she really was spouting nonsense. She didn’t deign it any further thought, settling for the confused glances that kept being directed at her when the others continuously discussed it.

“I’m going home,” Pedro yawned, getting up from his knees where he’d been seated with the other’s at the low table. “Emmanuel,” He said, with a knowing look, and the boy followed him as they left the two girls. 

Lauren wasn’t particularly pleased with their neighbors, even though they happened to be close friends of Emmanuel and Se-Jin’s parents, belonging to the upper class as well. Pedro had been quick to make friends with them, however Lauren was distrustful of him, finding his presence to be a mere nuisance. 

“When I grow up I want to have blond hair like you,” Se-Jin stated, earning a bewildered look from Lauren who had previously been consumed with the two boys’ departure. 

She softened her features, directing a small smile at Se-Jin despite being unaware of the motive behind the strange sense of conviction that she had expressed. Lauren imagined it then, and she couldn’t deny that there was a certain allure to the idea, not that she disliked the current black shade.

“Thank you Se-Jin,” She answered, paying attention to their surroundings to make sure that no one was close enough to overhear her using Se-Jin’s name. “But changing something that significant about your appearance isn’t something you should do unless you’re absolutely certain.”

***

When Emmanuel’s parents ceased to lock him in the closet on a regular basis, so did Lauren’s reason to make her nightly entrance through his window to lock him out. A fair portion of Emmanuel’s dependence on her had evaporated, and this wasn’t inherently a positive thing, at least in Lauren’s perception.

Her access to the upper class and Emmanuel’s life was through the irreplaceability she had, seeing as for several years there was no one else available to rescue him when he’d been placed in confinement. Now the entrapment occurred so sporadically that she couldn’t reliably be there when needed. Se-Jin was far more obedient than Emmanuel and so this also applied to her. 

As it were, Lauren was grasping at whatever opportunity she could find that would prove her to be indispensable. Of course, she wasn’t the only one contending for this position, and this only served to increase the tension. Both her and Pedro would find themselves climbing up those vines to pay Emmanuel visits, seeing the unlocked window as an invitation. It was inevitable that these visits would result in some less than pleasant run in’s, and one of them would have to back off to avoid escalating the situation. 

***

Se-Jin peeked around the corner, playfully spying on her mother and Lauren’s mother who had taken a break from her duties as a maid. They were sitting at an oval table in the garden, drinking each their own beverage, with a view of the children playing in the distance on the lawn, Se-Jin obviously not among them. 

“You’ve served us for many years, and Lauren has been a real delight to have around,” Her mother said, giving a warm nod to Lauren who interacted with Emmanuel in the grass, Pedro in close proximity. “I’d like to return the favor, and provide you with an opportunity, a way into the elite.”

Se-Jin didn’t understand much of what was being said, but from what she could comprehend there was presumably a discussion of a gift of sorts. At least that was the impression she got from Lauren’s mother’s grateful and expectant expression. If that was indeed the case then Se-Jin was thrilled as well, assuming Lauren would receive part of this gift.

“Pedro’s parents have taken a liking to Lauren as well,” Her mother explained, and Se-Jin experienced a flutter of confusion. “Since Lauren is only a year younger than their son, it seems perfectly appropriate to establish an agreement regarding their relationship.” She continued, and Lauren’s mother listened intently. “They’re not looking for someone of a status that could potentially provide challenges to Pedro’s success, and Lauren’s background makes her suitable for a future marriage that could be fruitful for both households.”

Se-Jin knew that Lauren would do anything asked of her, whether it was a request from her own mother or Lauren’s. Although Se-Jin was far from mature, ten years of age, she was capable of processing the information she’d picked up from eavesdropping. Lauren would marry Pedro when both of them had turned eighteen. 

She curled up, neglecting the rest of the conversation, knowing her own helplessness. Tears ran down her cheeks, and she sniffled to the backdrop of her mother’s voice, settling an agreement.

***

Emmanuel downed the remaining liquor in the bottle, slumping back into the mattress, while Se-Jin squinted into the bottleneck, disappointed to find that the last bit of alcohol was gone. She groaned, directing her frustration towards Pedro who shrugged to emphasize the fact that he hadn’t brought more than a single bottle. 

“Useless,” She muttered, and Pedro frowned at her hostility, though she’d maintained a bitter attitude towards him since as long as she’d been able to hold grudges. “We need to find a place to hide the bottle. Our parents will kill us if they find it.”

Emmanuel’s room didn’t contain many hiding places, and neither he, Pedro or Se-Jin could be bothered to stand up, lazy due to their tipsy state. Pedro was sitting against the headboard of Emmanuel’s bed, while Se-Jin was lying at the end of the bed, Emmanuel resting between them. 

“I’ll bring it with me when I leave,” Pedro answered, though it didn’t appear he had the slightest intention of leaving anytime soon. “My parents probably won’t care even if I get caught.”

Yet even he flinched when the window sprung open, not so subtly, revealing Lauren who’d decided to join them, despite her lack of invitation. She looked thoroughly displeased, not only with having been left out, but all the more so when her gaze fell upon the empty bottle of liquor, clearly having been brought without the knowledge of Emmanuel and Se-Jin’s parents.

“Before you start yelling about how you weren’t informed of our little get-together,” Se-Jin started, holding up a hand rather clumsily, having predicted Lauren’s main point of criticism. “Just know that I wasn’t invited either, and I walked in on their drinking party by sheer coincidence.”

This didn’t comfort Lauren in the least bit, and she’d only gotten increasingly dissatisfied with all of them since Se-Jin had started talking. The person who would bear the brunt of the incoming scolding was Pedro however, and she wasn’t about to show even the slightest amount of restraint. 

“Distributing alcohol to someone under the legal drinking age? Really?” She hissed, crossing her arms as Pedro rolled his eyes. “I asked your parents where you were, and they said you were with me. We agreed to meet an hour ago, but you didn’t bother showing up, even though your parents are generous enough to pay for the apartment.”

Pedro sighed in such an excessive manner, she got the impression it was a physical burden for him to even register her words. Neither of them were thrilled with their circumstances, but there was more on the line for Lauren, and she’d hoped that his entitlement wouldn’t extend so far that he hadn’t even paid any mind to this fact. 

“I assumed you’d be able to handle it without me being present,” He scoffed, throwing up his hands, provoking further irritation on Lauren’s part. “It’s all for show anyway. I’m basically doing you a favor.”

Emmanuel and Se-Jin were becoming accustomed to these moments of bickering, giving up on the expectation that private matters would stay private. There was seldom a time when an argument wasn’t being had in their presence, and the melodramatic back and forth was tiresome at points. Nevertheless, they were better served not intervening, simply sitting by in their usual uninterested fashion, until the outbursts had faded out.

“No, your parents are doing me a favor,” Lauren clarified, pointing an accusatory finger while delivering her next words. “You’re a fucking asshole.”

They’d been on better terms in the very start of their engagement, though Pedro had carried himself with more consideration on the behest of his parents. Perhaps he’d been worried that Lauren would back out, knowing that she had no actual affection towards him, therefore determined to make the offer as appealing as possible. Now that the incentive for her to stay committed to their arrangement proved too solid for her to refuse, Pedro didn’t bother making the same effort he previously had.

Lauren’s subsequent frustration was quelled when Emmanuel let out a quiet groan, fuzzing slightly. She knelt at the edge of the bed, laying a soothing hand on his forehead, and her expression quickly shifted to one of concern, as she examined his condition with obvious worry.

“How much did he drink?” She asked, glaring at Pedro as he was the sole adult who’d been present to monitor Emmanuel when he’d ingested the alcohol. “I can’t believe you let him get drunk. What is the matter with you.”

Se-Jin observed them quietly, chewing her lip as she wondered why Lauren hadn’t shown her any concern, despite the fact that she was the youngest of them, and clearly the most vulnerable to the substance. But as always, Emmanuel was the priority, and Se-Jin was far out of mind.

“I’m going to bed,” She announced, drawing her arms around herself as she left the room, painfully aware that no one had paid her departure any attention, and that she wouldn’t be missed. 

***

Emmanuel stood in the frame of the door to Se-Jin’s room, Studying her reflection in the mirror. She was adjusting her hair, drawing the stray locks back with a hairband that added to her stoic appearance. Lauren picked a pair of earrings that she assumed cost more than everything she herself owned put together - perhaps save for her engagement ring. She glanced back at Emmanuel, her expression as unnerved as his. 

“He better have a castle,” Se-Jin muttered, placing each of her feet in the high heels carefully, unaccustomed to the height. 

“He’s got enough money to buy one, that’s for sure,” Emmanuel scoffed, though his sister’s statement had obviously been meant as a joke to ease the tense atmosphere. “If you’re lucky he might get lost, wandering through one of his mansions and you’ll be a widow sooner than you think.”

Lauren shot him a disapproving frown, but it didn’t seem to deter him from saying something even more inflammatory if he’d been provided the chance. Se-Jin was quick to brush the comment off however, walking past Emmanuel, presumably all set. Lauren followed her down the hall, determined to walk her out to where her parents were waiting.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you?” Emmanuel asked, temporarily catching Se-Jin’s attention, before she turned her back once again.

“You weren’t invited,” She merely answered. 

***

Pedro’s steps were brisk, even under the added weight that his legs were made to carry, and the pebbles making his footing uneven. Emmanuel was right behind him, pace equally hasty, while Lauren sprinted ahead of them. When they reached Pedro’s car, she was quick to slide in at the driver’s side, as Emmanuel assisted Pedro in getting Se-Jin into the back seat before climbing in with her. 

“The keys,” Lauren demanded, extending her hand and motioned for Pedro to throw them. “We don’t have time for this.”

Even under the circumstances, and the additional stress of Lauren’s strained orders, Pedro wasn’t willing to make such a reckless move, instead waiting till he was in the passenger’s seat, handing the keys to her calmly. Lauren didn’t bother strapping herself in, already preoccupied with other matters, such as getting them the hell out of there. 

“What do you expect them to do?” Pedro sneered, increasingly irritated with Lauren’s pace, convinced that it would do more harm than anything else. “Jump in front of the car? Just think before you do something stupid.”

“It’s a little too late for that,” Emmanuel hissed, uncapping a bottle and pouring cold water across Se-Jin’s raw flesh, trying to alleviate some of her agony, though without much luck. “Where do we take her? She’s still seventeen so any hospital will undoubtedly call our parents.”

It was a question without much purpose, since their parents wouldn’t be coming for them, taking into account that Se-Jin was now a damaged asset. Of course, this had been the main intention of going to such lengths to give her such a status. If they would be tracked down regardless then there would have been no logical reason for mutilating her. 

“The nearest ER,” Lauren concluded, despite Emmanuel’s comment, and Pedro started typing the location into the GPS. “They won’t be able to save her eye, but they must have some painkillers and antibiotics I assume.”

Se-Jin cried out and writhed, barely coping with the excruciating pain, and Emmanuel made several idle attempts to keep her still. It was almost absurd how Pedro had managed to carry her to the car, seeing as her erratic movements made it impossible to discern the severity of her injury at that point.

“Her eye can still be fixed,” Emmanuel insisted, and in that moment he fully believed this to be the case. “It’s not that bad, she just needs to heal. It’ll leave a scar but that’s all. Everything will go back to normal.”

Pedro didn’t feel that it was appropriate for him to disturb the blissful state of delusion that Emmanuel was in, finding it easier to deal with than what could potentially occur if another one of them ceased to function adequately. Emmanuel was somewhat composed, albeit distressed. This was preferable to him losing it completely, which was the risk attached to shattering his hope that Se-Jin’s eye would in fact be intact enough for repair.

“Look at her!” Lauren yelled, doing exactly what Pedro had been trying to avoid, though the consequences were less severe than he’d expected.

Emmanuel remained silent from then on, perhaps having already come to terms with the grim reality. Pedro could tell that he was struggling with the regret of his actions, and had Pedro been there to prevent them from ultimately resorting to an action this irreversible and harmful, surely he would have. 

“For fucks sake,” He mumbled, earning an exasperated glare from Lauren in the process.

Neither Emmanuel or Se-Jin were equipped to function as regular working class citizens, and yet that was the role they would be enacting from then on. This abrupt transition would without question result in additional obstacles, and there was the risk of every impulsive decision they had just taken not being worth it in the end. 

***

Lauren placed a basket of bread on the table, taking her seat at the dinner table next to Se-Jin, gesturing for the other’s to start digging in. The apartment wasn’t particularly spacy, and so there was no need to disturb the neighbors by yelling when dinner was ready. It had been slightly cramped in the beginning, since it had initially only been meant for two individuals who had separate rooms, though this issue was solved quickly.

They had considered the solution of dividing the two rooms between genders, however this was taken off the table when Emmanuel had expressed opposition to having Se-Jin out of his sight before she’d turned eighteen, and Lauren couldn’t blame him for being overprotective when keeping their past in mind. In some aspects, their seating habits at the dinner table was a way of diverting from a norm.

When Se-Jin did turn eighteen however, the subject hadn’t been brought up, and their living arrangement appeared to suit everyone fairly well, seemingly being the demise of that particular topic. As it were, the engagement between Lauren and Pedro still stood, notwithstanding the pressure from either party’s family having subsided. 

“How was the rehabilitation group today Se-Jin?” Lauren asked, more as a customary action than on the basis of actual curiosity.

Se-Jin shifted a bit in her seat, her long black hair swaying with her timid movements. It had been over a year since she’d started going to the rehabilitation meetings, and somehow it still unsettled her slightly when Lauren followed up on the weekly appointments with her usual questioning. 

“Some new people showed up,” She shrugged, not bothering going into detail regarding these ‘new people’ as she didn’t feel any need to. “It was fine. As always.”

Lauren smiled warmly, letting that finalize the interaction as she moved on. Although the time spent at the dinner table wasn’t typically the most lively or easygoing, this level of borderline tension wasn’t normal either. Despite Lauren’s intentions, this was bound to get unpleasant. 

“Everything going well with the startup?” She asked Emmanuel, ignoring the silence that everyone else at the table seemed perfectly content with. “Pedro told me you’ve gained some actual investors.”

Indeed the startup of Emmanuel’s company had so far been successful, due to the influence of Pedro’s own company, and the connections Emmanuel had built up. Lauren had initially been skeptical, however with the progress that had been made so far, Emmanuel was on the path of becoming a prominent figure. 

“About that,” Emmanuel started, clearing his throat, as he prepared for what he was in the process of telling her. “The company is making a profit that allows me to support Se-Jin as well, and we’ve been looking for a place of our own. I’ve paid off the debt of the rehabilitation and the medical bills, so there shouldn’t be any financial obstacles left. We’ll most likely be moving out by the end of the month.”

This didn’t appear to surprise anyone but Lauren, suggesting that she had purposely been kept out of the loop, presumably because of her unpredictable reaction. It was quite obvious that Lauren feared Emmanuel and Se-Jin’s independence, seeing as it made her more expendable. She had expected that such a situation like this would take place at some point, however she hadn’t been prepared for it to happen so soon. Emmanuel was still very young, and Se-Jin even more so.

“Congratulations,” She answered, not exactly eager for her distress with the revelation to come across, although it was discernible to a certain degree, in spite of her efforts. “I’m really- I’m so happy for you.”

Pedro sighed, recognizing that if Lauren didn’t express any dissatisfaction in the moment then it would inevitably boil over eventually. Neither Emmanuel or Se-Jin knew how to dampen the underlying unease that had formed, though no one had a chance to say anything before Lauren snapped prior to Pedro’s prediction. 

“Why did no one tell me?” She questioned with frustration, mostly to express her irritation, rather than trying to get an answer. “You were just going to let me know 20 days before and then bail? Did I not deserve more after cutting off my own family in order to protect you? I created a new life for the two of you, and left everything behind to take care of you. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

She stood up abruptly, leaving the table and slamming the door behind her as she secluded herself in her and Pedro’s bedroom. It only gave credibility to Emmanuel’s theory of her having a disproportionate reaction to the circumstances, and proving his tactic somewhat well-founded, and appropriate. Even if it was relatively inconsiderate, it was still perhaps the right course of action he’d taken.

“I’ll go talk to her,” He stated, knowing that he’d have to attempt to repair the fractures in their relationship, though they had been impossible to prevent. 

He knocked on the bedroom door, making his presence known, before entering. He was met with a bitter frown from Lauren, who was sitting on her bed, deliberately having neglected to turn on the lights. Emmanuel sat down next to her, and although she didn’t prevent him from doing so, she appeared fairly displeased.

“You know that Se-Jin and I appreciate everything you and Pedro have done for us,” He told her, though aware that Lauren already knew that, but needed to hear it. “It’s not going to change much where we live, we’ll still be seeing each other. I would have had this conversation with you earlier but I was afraid you’d react like this.”

There wasn’t much Lauren could say, considering that Emmanuel was essentially right. She wasn’t going to deny that, although the change was minimal, she had a hard time conceding any ground, fearing that she would be discarded. She knew that Emmanuel wasn’t about to start a new life yet again, this time not involving her, but the anxiety still lingered, whether it was reasonable or not.

“Emmanuel…” She said softly, acting on an impulse that had been spurred on by the unforeseen events that she was still struggling to come to terms with.

She leaned in, placing a chaste kiss to Emmanuel’s lips, testing the waters. She took the fact that he refrained from pulling back as a sign that she was allowed to go further, despite his relatively neutral reaction. His lack of engagement in the kiss could be attributed to him being caught off guard, which Lauren thought was understandable. She herself had been taken aback by the kiss, although she’d been the one to initiate it.

From then on it went swiftly, actions being carried out with haste, as if she would be alone at any moment if she were to stop. She continued the heated kiss, adding tongue, while simultaneously straddling him. Her hand found a comfortable position, gripping his hair as she noted that Emmanuel had exceptionally poor kissing skills. Regardless, the warmth and taste made it worth guiding him through it. 

She broke off the kiss to let him fill his lungs, pulling her shirt over her head and throwing it without a care over where it landed. She resumed the kiss, and Emmanuel let her do as she pleased, not equipped to take the lead, nor particularly committed. She took his hand, leading it to the hook of her bra, as she arched her back slightly.

“Undress me,” She panted in between kisses, encouraging him to do something he clearly had no experience doing. “Use both hands,” She told him, as he struggled to figure out how it was supposed to be done.

Doing it while distracted, in the middle of a kiss and unfamiliar with the piece of clothing he was asked to remove, wasn’t something remotely doable for him. His hands fumbled with the hook, and Lauren finally paused the kiss, unhooking it herself, as if she truly did not have time for his lacking skills. She threw the bra in the same manner as her discarded shirt, and kept her eyes locked with Emmanuel’s. 

It took him a few seconds before he lowered his gaze to her chest, tilting his head as if he’d never seen what he currently was. He quite simply just stared, unsure of how to proceed appropriately. Lauren decided to help him along, once again steering his hand toward the desired location, easily filling his grasp. She repeated this action with Emmanuel’s other hand, likewise filling it with her breast.

“It’s okay,” She reassured him, as he continued to stare without showing any signs that he knew what he was meant to do. “You can touch me. Anyway you prefer.” 

She couldn’t help but feel as if she was tutoring him, seeing as he certainly wasn’t able to perform the task without her guidance, and encouragement. It was almost comical how Emmanuel behaved when in uncharted territory, carefully lifting her breast as if to weigh it, or study the size which she could tell he found slightly overwhelming. 

It seemed fitting to move on, and she unzipped his pants in a swift movement that appeared to surprise Emmanuel somewhat. She cupped his crotch outside of his underwear, kissing his neck as she stroked him roughly, but stopped immediately. She pulled back with a confused expression, and Emmanuel merely looked at her with blank features.

“Why aren’t you hard?” She asked, trying to suppress her astonishment but failing miserably, still sitting in his lap but wrapping her arms around herself.

“Am I supposed to be?” Emmanuel asked, as if he didn’t understand the concept of an erection, although he was entirely familiar with the natural response. 

Lauren was completely dumbfounded, her complexion quickly turning into one of distress. Taking into account Emmanuel’s age and libido, plus the obvious inexperience, there was no doubt he should be hard if he harbored any attraction towards her whatsoever. She’d never come across a man who’d stayed flaccid after touching her bare chest, let alone as thoroughly as Emmanuel had. 

“I’m such an idiot,” She scoffed at herself, standing up and reaching for her shirt.

Putting her bra back on would require her to stay longer than she could probably endure in her mortified state. She was absolutely stunned by Emmanuel’s reaction, and she could only assume that she’d made a severe misstep by acting so impulsively. Had she kept her clothes on she might have kept her dignity as well. Emmanuel stood up, seemingly trying to repair the situation, though it was most likely a lost cause.

“You don’t have to go,” He tried, but it was obvious that she’d decided to leave, and intended to do so whether he wanted her to or not. “I didn’t purposely-”

Se-Jin opened the door, met with the sight of Lauren’s bra abandoned on the floor, and Emmanuel with unzipped pants and messy hair. It didn’t take her more than a second to put the pieces together, understanding the cause of the scene in front of her, and promptly turn on her heel. It was suddenly very fortunate that they hadn’t taken it further than that, considering what Se-Jin would have otherwise walked in on.

“Se-Jin wait,” Lauren attempted, following her out of the room, desperately trying to mend yet another broken relationship. “Nothing happened. I swear there were no secrets being kept from you.”

Her words and excuses didn’t seem to reach Se-Jin who continued walking away, grabbing her coat. It was no mystery where she was headed, and Lauren didn’t approve of her going out so late in the evening at her age. Emmanuel apparently wasn’t fond of the idea either, catching up to her as she took hasty steps towards the front door. 

“You have everything!” She yelled when she felt his hand on her shoulder, turning around to push him away. “Do you ever consider how privileged you are compared to me? And now you think you’re entitled to this too?”

Emmanuel didn’t understand what her argument was, or how it suggested that he’d committed any wrongdoings. Her statement came across to him as absurdly vague, and there was no way to confront her without knowing what exactly his offense supposedly was. He did however pick up on the subtle accusation of entitlement, and presumably egotistical motivations.

“You don’t get to tell me I’m privileged,” He replied resolutely, aware that it was the first instance of arguing with her that he’d ever allowed himself to engage in. “Everything I have is something I’ve worked for, and something I’ve earned. I’ve shared everything I have with you, and I’ve only ever done what I thought was best for the both of us. You’re so focused on the things you don’t have that you fail to recognize what you do have.”

When Se-Jin did evaluate what she was lucky enough to have, Emmanuel’s argument didn’t improve the situation, since Se-Jin wasn’t in a position where she felt that her circumstances were adequate. Emmanuel could’ve listed all the positive things in her life, but as it were, he didn’t experience the struggles that she encountered on a daily basis, which made it difficult for him to relate. 

Se-Jin was more than fed up with the conversation, and she decided to let his statement stand on its own, instead leaving and abandoning her retort. There wasn’t much to be gained by continuing to argue, and she slammed the door behind her, while Emmanuel stood unflinching, not preventing her from going out alone. 

He turned back to the living room, faced with another confrontation that he’d yet to deal with. Fortunately for him, the situation with Se-Jin served as a distraction, making it possible for him to slither out of what remained unresolved with Lauren. Her and Pedro were sitting at the dinner table, and when Emmanuel returned, Pedro started taking care of the dishes, not eager to involve himself in their issues. 

“You let her go?” Lauren asked, sounding less than approving of this choice. “Did she at least say where she was going? Or when she’d be back?”

Emmanuel merely shook his head, as it answered all her questions at once, and spared him the effort of unclenching his jaw. He’d never been upset with Se-Jin, especially after they’d escaped their parents' strictness, and she’d recovered from her injury. He hadn’t really felt like he had any right to express frustration, irritation, disappointment and so forth, after he’d been the one to put her in the ongoing misery that her disability had resulted in.

Now the glass was overflowing, and had been for a while, causing him to finally snap. He’d worked tirelessly to make up for the injury he’d inflicted upon her, whether or not it had left her better off than leaving their parents without her. His intentions had always been pure, regardless of the mistakes, and wrong choices he’d made. Nevertheless, Se-Jin appeared to blame all of her obstacles on him, in instances where it was unjustified as well, failing to understand that Emmanuel had his limits as well.

***

It wasn’t long before the friction between Lauren and Emmanuel became impossible to ignore, however Se-Jin - knowing the cause - had no intention of aiding their fractured relationship. Pedro’s curiosity was sparking though, and while he enjoyed not being the main target of Lauren’s usual agitation, even he was getting fed up with how torturously tense dinner together had become.

Se-Jin wasn’t home most nights that Emmanuel chose to sleep at the apartment rather than his office, although things between them had mostly died down. Overall the atmosphere always seemed unpleasant when all four of them were present, and avoiding one another served to prevent additional arguments.

“What happened between you and Lauren?” Pedro asked casually, having waited for the appropriate moment to ask.

Lauren had already gone to bed, and Se-Jin wasn’t home. Emmanuel and Pedro were seated in the couch, killing time by spacing out in front of the television, absentmindedly observing the flickering screen. Being stuck in the conflict Emmanuel felt inclined to let Pedro in on what had taken place, even if it made him somewhat uncomfortable.

“We kissed,” He simply stated, causing Pedro to choke on nothing but air in utter surprise. “She asked me to undress her, but I didn’t know how to take off her bra which I think annoyed her, so she took it off herself. When I touched her, she unzipped my pants and then she just stopped everything. I didn’t really understand it at first, but at that point I was apparently supposed to be… but for some reason I couldn’t get it up, and that seemed to really upset her.”

Pedro stared at him wide-eyed, trying to process what he’d just learned, then bursting into laughter. Emmanuel appeared so sexually inept, Pedro could hardly take him seriously, and he contemplated the credibility of what he’d been told. He knew that Lauren had taken Emmanuel’s tactlessness as an insult, though it seemed more like an innocent misunderstanding.

“Emmanuel you’re an adult, you should know how to unhook a bra by now,” Pedro said, stating the obvious, until it dawned on him. “...You’re a virgin?”

He knew that Emmanuel was very reserved and didn’t easily form close bonds, but he’d expected that it would happen naturally once no longer around his parents. This level of inexperience was highly unusual however, and there seemed to be lacking a basic understanding of sex and intimacy on his part.

“Why couldn’t you get it up?” Pedro asked, taking Emmanuel’s silence as confirmation to his previous question. “You must be pretty sexually frustrated, so there shouldn’t be a problem in that region.”

Emmanuel shrugged, and Pedro got the impression that he genuinely did not know, and most likely hadn’t considered it. He was starting to feel a tinge of concern, wondering if Emmanuel just didn’t have the physical ability to get hard. If that was the case, Emmanuel himself would have probably expressed concern, so it was reasonable to rule out that theory, and contemplate the other ones that had subsequently formed.

He inched closer, claiming Emmanuel’s focus, and with his tacit permission, Pedro leaned in to kiss him. It started off slowly, carefully, simply exploring and testing boundaries, but as Emmanuel became more accustomed to the activity, they picked up pace. Pedro took his hand, guiding it towards his own chest, and encouraged Emmanuel to experiment, pleased when he obliged. 

When the kiss finally broke off, they were both panting and out of breath, but didn’t have much of a chance to pay that any mind, as something more important now craved their attention. Pedro’s gaze dropped to the erection straining against the fabric of Emmanuel’s pants, and despite having suspected it, they both appeared puzzled, even as the physical response was undeniable.

Pedro reached down, feeling the bulge to make sure that he wasn’t mistaken, and Emmanuel promptly whimpered, not used to having someone else sexually stimulate him. Although this new experience was pleasurable, it also made him uneasy. He felt that he’d let himself become vulnerable, which made him uncomfortable. Pedro, noticing this, retracted his hand, deciding that they’d gone far enough, and that Emmanuel would benefit from being the one in control if he wanted to go further.

“I think we solved the case,” Pedro chuckled, extremely satisfied with the result of his investigation, so to speak. “You were searching in the wrong place.” 

***

Lauren unlocked the front door to let herself inside the apartment - or rather - she attempted to, but discovered that the door was already open. Emmanuel and Pedro were supposed to be at work, and Se-Jin was attending her rehabilitation support group, meaning that the door should’ve been locked like Lauren had left it when going grocery shopping. She heard a faint sound of commotion inside the apartment, and quickly realized what was going on; namely, a party.

She pushed the door open, letting herself inside with the groceries, and the sounds she’d encountered from the outside instantly magnified. After Se-Jin’s argument with Emmanuel, she’d developed an edge that mostly presented itself in her newfound fondness of promiscuity, smoking and gatherings that she sometimes brought to the apartment. It was getting tiresome, and Lauren had become fairly grateful that her and Emmanuel would be moving out within the next week. 

As she’d expected, this was indeed a party, though it was the first time it had spilled into the living room. Se-Jin brought many of her friends and temporary partners home, but most of those visitors remained in her and Emmanuel’s bedroom, made possible by the fact that Emmanuel had started staying overnight at his workplace. 

Lauren nearly dropped the groceries when faced with the gathering residing in her home, immediately wishing she’d been warned about the lack of clothing. Many of the guests Se-Jin had brought along were strangers to Lauren, and something told her that Se-Jin wasn’t particularly close with them either. They were sprawled across the furniture, clearly inebriated, and some only wearing underwear. Se-Jin herself was resting on the couch, in her underwear like the two men she was sitting between. 

Lauren did the only thing she could think of, shutting off the speakers and going from room to room kicking the strangers out. She had to ignore the nausea that suddenly had arisen when she found a pair of young people having sex in her bed, moving on to Se-Jin’s bedroom and finding yet another pair, likewise kicking them out. After a heavy amount of effort she managed to clear out the apartment, preparing herself for the scolding she was about to give Se-Jin. 

Despite the abrupt silence that followed the absence of the people she’d brought, Se-Jin had somehow managed to stay asleep, and Lauren was scared to think what the two men who’d been at her side would have gone on to do had no one showed up to shut the party down. The level of irresponsibility she was engaging in had to be a new record, and Lauren was not pleased.

“Se-Jin!” She yelled, wanting to give her a rough wake-up, but it seemed Se-Jin was in an unusually deep slumber. “Wake up, I sent your friends home. You’re going to clean up all on your own, do you understand?”

She started nudging Se-Jin, and went on to slap her across the face when the relatively gentle approach failed to provide any results. Se-Jin groaned slightly, blinking the sleep away as she gained back her awareness, and it was only then that Lauren noticed the empty needle in her arm. There had been something in it, and Lauren could only assume that the missing substance was a type of drug.

She’d had the suspicion that Se-Jin frequently experimented with recreational drugs like marijuana, occasionally using the money Emmanuel gave her, to finance this ‘hobby’ of sorts. However this was far more serious, and potentially cause for great concern. Lauren snatched the needle from Se-Jin’s arm, provoking a hysterical “ouch” from her.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” She yelled, wiping the sparse trace of blood away from the spot where the needle had been pulled out. “What did you do with my guests? They’re my friends, you can’t just throw them out.”

She seemed extremely agitated, and Lauren quickly noticed how constricted her pupil was, not to mention the old needle marks that accompanied the fresh ones. The substance use had been going on for a substantial amount of time, and it appeared that they’d all failed to pick up on it. It was an overt sign of neglect, though Lauren was certain Se-Jin would have sought out the dangerous habit regardless of the amount of attention she’d been given. 

“What did you take?” She asked, while Se-Jin attempted to snap herself out of the disorientation. “You were supposed to be attending your support group today. Why didn’t you go?”

She was trying to maintain a calm demeanor, notwithstanding the distressing things she’d come to know in the span of mere minutes. The behavior Se-Jin was displaying should have been dealt with far sooner, and especially when taking into account her history of trauma, and abuse. The goal of starting a new life had been to give Se-Jin an opportunity to break away from the unhappiness, and yet if the alternative to the arranged marriage was this, Lauren wasn’t sure if she could stand by the sacrifices they’d made.

“I brought them here instead,” Se-Jin mumbled, still somewhat drowsy and on the verge of drifting off again. “The basement of a church isn’t exactly the most cheerful place, so I suggested that we do something fun instead.”

Lauren huffed at the absurdity of her logic, or rather, the lack thereof. According to Se-Jin ‘fun’ entailed hard drugs, and a damn near orgy from what Lauren understood, giving her the impression that Se-Jin had gone so far off the rails she no longer considered these risks to be unacceptable. If this was in fact the case then even Emmanuel would start to doubt her stability. 

“Se-Jin what did you take?” She repeated, needing to know the severity of the situation before she could decide on the appropriate punishment. “Is it heroin? Did you take heroin?”

Se-Jin nodded with disinterest, picking up her clothes from the floor at her feet, where they’d been dropped. Lauren noticed the way her hair was styled in a ponytail, with hair clips that prevented her bangs from covering her scar. It was understandable for her to want her scar hidden when in public, but Lauren had never seen the point of covering it when in the comfort of their home when it was only the four of them. 

Now Se-Jin didn’t seem the least bit bothered with the exposure of the scar, even though she’d been among at least a dozen guests that Lauren doubted she knew particularly intimately - aside from physically. Was it perhaps the drugs? Even if that was the case, it was highly unlike Se-Jin to let her guard down in such a way.

“You’re messing with the wrong crowd,” Lauren said, getting chills just from the recollection of the strangers she’d encountered around Se-Jin. “There has to be normal people out there for you to bond with. You won’t make friends if you’re not putting in the effort, and drug dealers and addicts don’t count.”

This particular comment seemed to tick off Se-Jin, who stood up to face Lauren with her sharp pupil, digging into her. There was no doubt that the drugs were changing her, and in that moment Lauren couldn’t recognize her. It wouldn’t be a radical assertion to make that Se-Jin was being downright threatening. 

“You don’t think I’ve tried?” She growled, letting her mutilated appearance do the intimidation. “I’ve put in the effort, and I’ve fought to live a normal life, but how could I when I look like this?!” She screamed, gesturing at her scarred face. “You know who doesn't judge me? junkies and dealers!”

Lauren didn’t understand why Se-Jin’s complexion had to dictate how she chose to live her life, finding it idiotic that she had to socially isolate herself. Se-Jin was the one who decided to restrict her inner circle to only contain outcasts and the fringes of society, when she herself couldn’t be considered abnormal. 

“We never judged you,” Lauren answered, refusing to take pity on her, despite the nagging guilt of having failed to prevent this outcome. “But you shut us out, even though we’re supposed to be your family.”

Se-Jin scoffed, apparently not sharing that perception of the situation, seeing it as fairly ironic in a sense. Lauren wasn’t her mother and yet she took the approach of a concerned parent, when Se-Jin needed for her to be anything but. It only added to the bitterness that she’d been trying to quell.

“You all look at me like I’m a puppy whose paw you accidentally stepped on,” She said, suddenly having other matters that craved her attention. “I need money, I’ll pay you back later. Have you seen my coat?”

The shift seemed extremely abrupt and out of place, causing Lauren to cross her arms in confusion, as she witnessed Se-Jin erratically searching for her coat. It was as if she’d entirely forgotten all else, somehow having a much more urgent task that she needed to tend to, even though Lauren couldn’t think of anything. 

“What are you talking about?” She questioned, not appreciating the disregard that Se-Jin was treating her with. “What do you need money for, I’ve already bought groceries, there shouldn’t be anything missing unless you forgot to write it down on the grocery list. I can go back if it’s really that important, but can’t it wait?”

Judging exclusively from Se-Jin’s behavior; no it could not wait, and Lauren most likely wouldn’t be able to convince her otherwise. And then it hit her. The money was for the next dose of heroin that Se-Jin would inevitably need at some point. She wasn’t just indulging in some experimentation or reserving the drug use for the occasional party, she was an actual addict.

“You’re not buying drugs on our budget,” Lauren snapped, having had enough of the madness already. “Look at yourself, this is pathetic! Se-Jin stop.”

She caught Se-Jin’s wrist, but was promptly pushed off with enough force to knock her over, right into the cushions of the couch, luckily enough. Needless to say, Se-Jin was not doing much to improve Lauren’s confidence in her, or her mental stability. This escalation didn’t appear to occur to her however, and she merely continued searching for anything that could pay for her next dose. 

“What does it matter anyway?” She asked absentmindedly, not caring to explore the possible answers to her own question. “You’re all rich either way, so it doesn’t change anything. You were the ones who ruined my life. The least you could do is let me enjoy playing around in the wreckage.”

Lauren knew that Se-Jin had a credit card, and money on her account that Emmanuel had provided her with, though not for the purpose of buying drugs. If she was frantically searching for something to pay with, it suggested that her account had somehow been emptied. Marijuana was one thing, but Emmanuel would certainly have cut her off had he known about the heroin. 

“Se-Jin could you sit down for a moment, you’re not getting any money from me,” Lauren tried but this only frustrated Se-Jin further. “I don’t have any cash anyway, and you’re not getting my credit card. Please just calm down, and we can figure something out. I’ll call Emmanuel and he can help work out a plan to get you clean.”

Se-Jin didn’t even contemplate the upsides or downsides to Lauren’s suggestion, busily trying to find another option now that she didn’t have access to cash. Her gaze dropped to the bracelet, snug around her wrist. It had been a gift from Emmanuel on her nineteenth birthday, and was worth a considerable amount. 

“No,” Lauren calmly stated, knowing exactly what Se-Jin was considering in that moment. “Don’t you dare.”

There was one second of silent eye contact before Se-Jin bolted, sprinting for the door before she could be caught. Lauren used the coffee table as a ramp, setting off and tackling Se-Jin, which sent both of them to the floor where they each struggled to gain the upper hand. Although Se-Jin seemed to be more desperate, Lauren wouldn’t let her escape her tight hold of her.

Rolling around on the floor wasn’t the ideal weekend activity, and neither of them had suspected that they’d end up doing just that. Nevertheless, there they were, getting rug burns from the excessive movements, wondering how they’d managed to land themselves in that situation. They continued until both of them were sobbing, becoming breathless, and Se-Jin finally stopped resisting.

Taking into account that she was under the influence of heroin, Lauren thought it safer to let her sit up straight, instead of restricting her any further. They sat panting for several minutes, simply staring at each other, contemplating the path forward, which in Se-Jin’s case was bittersweet to say the least.

It would be easy though, to blame what happened next on the drugs, and she would do just that if it proved necessary. She leaned forward, kissing Lauren, but somehow wasn’t pushed away despite having expected it. There wasn’t much that could explain why kissing Se-Jin felt right, and kissing Emmanuel hadn’t. It just so happened to be the case.

“You’re getting clean,” She stated, helping Se-Jin up, and taking off her bracelet for good measure. “Whether you want it or not. Because you can’t have me and the drugs at the same time.”

***

“What do we do about the support group?” Emmanuel asked, sitting at the dinner table with Lauren, keeping a close eye on Se-Jin who was sleeping on the couch. “She can’t go back there if that’s the kind of people who attend. She can’t stay home either, since we won’t be able to keep track of her.”

Lauren sighed, knowing that he had a point. Being around active users could trigger a relapse, and serve as a constant cause for concern, not to mention that her dealer was potentially a part of that group as well, making it a definite risk. Se-Jin rarely ever seemed excited to go there, before the drugs had been involved, so she likely wouldn’t complain about no longer attending.

“We can work out a schedule,” Lauren suggested, aware of how ridiculous it sounded without any specifications. “First of all, she’s chosen to detox at home, and in those two weeks I’ll stay and look after her. When the two of you move out, she’ll have to get a job to occupy her, and distract her from the heroin. We’ll sign her up for AA meetings, so that she’ll continue to have a safety net, and somewhere to go. When she’s not at work you’ll have to keep an eye on her, and I’ll sleep over when you work overnight.”

Emmanuel considered her suggestion, finding it relatively reasonable, although there were some slight impracticalities that he could point out. He didn’t want for Se-Jin to have even an hour to herself in case it was spent seeking out her dealer, or getting high. He knew that she was a grown woman, and she needed to have her own life, but he wasn’t sure if he could trust her with her own safety anytime soon. 

“I’ll give her a position at the company,” He said resolutely, having already decided. “That way I’ll have her around constantly so I can make sure she’s safe. I want you to move in with Se-Jin, and I’ll find my own place so that she won’t feel tied to me. You’re not going to marry Pedro, and I know that the two of you will have to part ways when Se-Jin and I are no longer living here.”

It was a very sudden change of plans, and Lauren wasn’t entirely certain she’d be able to effectively handle the responsibility of keeping Se-Jin clean. But there was no way of telling without giving it a shot, and perhaps she could offer some rewards that would help incentivize Se-Jin to stay on track. 

She nodded, deciding that she was Se-Jin’s best hope of getting, and staying, clean. She’d learned that Se-Jin harbored feelings towards her, that were perhaps strong enough to ensure that she made an adequate effort. They could set up an agreement. Something along the lines of spending the night together once a week, as a prize for staying clean. In addition to that, Lauren would be able to convince herself that she was doing it purely out of selfless reasons, without committing to anything emotional.

“Thank you,” Emmanuel smiled, appearing relieved. “One more thing,” He continued, knowing that this request would be difficult to accept. “I want you to work at my company too, and stay at Se-Jin’s side whenever possible. There are some rules that come with employment…”

***

Austin dropped off a pile of documents on Emmanuel’s desk, despite knowing his superior’s uneasy attitude regarding the presence of anyone else being in his office without his explicit permission. Austin wasn’t particularly worried about facing a reprimand however, since he and Emmanuel were on more intimate terms than the other employees. If he was in fact given a punishment, there was a good chance he’d enjoy it.

That day marked his second week of employment, and this was cause for an unlikely celebration, seeing as Emmanuel’s interest in him had started fading out. If he wanted any hope of rekindling the excitement, he’d have to take some steps to ensure that Emmanuel still found him worthy of attention.

“I thought I told you not to enter my office when I’m not here,” Emmanuel scolded, failing to give Austin a proper startle. “Get out.”

He’d gotten used to delivering that signature line, wondering how he repeatedly ended up with disobedient assistants, in spite of his hiring efforts. It was quite unfortunate. Austin happened to be different in some regard, which Emmanuel had slowly become aware of. Instead of showing remorse, or nervousness when being told off, Austin appeared oddly amused and unaffected. 

“Clara doesn’t seem to like me much,” He pouted sweetly, trying to make Emmanuel take pity on him, which wasn’t likely to succeed. “If she’d been the one at my job interview, the two of us would’ve never met.”

Emmanuel had picked up on the hostility between Lauren and Austin, as overt as it was, but didn’t consider it a serious issue that needed his involvement. It didn’t affect him to any tangible degree, and so he mostly just tried to avoid getting caught in the crossfire, leaving them to deal with whatever problems would arise themselves.

“Why, pray tell, should I busy myself with things that could have ended up one way but ultimately did not?” Emmanuel scoffed, getting impatient discussing something so futile. “In this case I don’t see the relevance.”

If Austin had brought up the subject to distract him from his initial order to have him leave, then sure enough, it had worked. Emmanuel sifted through the documents that he’d been brought, appearing pleased, and Austin took it as an opportunity to go further, since the circumstances seemingly fit his motives perfectly.

He picked Emmanuel up, taking advantage of his figure, placing him on the desk. He knew that it would undoubtedly piss off Emmanuel to a remarkable, and possibly risky extent, but perhaps that was exactly what was needed for their relationship to progress. He positioned himself between Emmanuel’s legs, leaning in close enough to hear the rigid rhythm of his heart. 

“I’m getting tired of the rules, and only being permitted to look, not touch,” Austin growled, worked up to a level that Emmanuel found highly uncomfortable. “It’s not fair that you can use me for whatever you please, but I don’t even get to fuck you once. I think I’ve earned a reward, and I think this desk is the perfect place for me to receive it. Don’t you think so too Emmanuel?”

He’d be lying to himself if he said that he hadn’t been able to push Austin away when he’d been about to touch him. He’d allowed it for the simple reason that he needed an excuse to fire what had now become a great source of agitation to him. He’d been intending to fire Austin that exact day, and was taken aback when realizing that it had required a span of two weeks to tire of him. Nevertheless, it was bound to happen, and Austin’s sudden actions only added to the grounds on which he would be fired.

“I have no desire to give you a ‘reward’ Austin,” He scoffed, intending to retake control of the situation now that he’d obtained what he wanted. “You’re fired, effective immediately. Please leave the perimeter when you’ve packed up your belongings.”

Austin laughed as if it had been a joke, then making it very clear that he did not find it funny in the slightest, by pressing the button under Emmanuel’s desk. He stopped laughing the second the blinds had dropped, giving his superior a glimpse of what he felt entitled to do, and how determined he was to get his way. He grabbed Emmanuel’s wrists, pushing him down and trapping him against the desk, before he had a chance to fully comprehend the situation. 

“Are you afraid I’ll do you so well you’ll become dependent on me?” Austin asked, letting his weight lock Emmanuel in place, as he tightened his grip. “Or is it that you’re scared you’ll moan like a woman when I make you come?”

He momentarily let go of Emmanuel’s wrist, placing his hand between his legs instead while he struggled. Taking advantage of his now free hand, Emmanuel struck Austin across the jaw, shoving him off. There was a dangerous difference in size, and if Austin had chosen to escalate the confrontation, it would end up grim - to put it mildly. 

For some reason Emmanuel’s physical display of rejection was enough to stun Austin, rendering him incapable of continuing his previous attempt at subduing Emmanuel, and he merely stared blankly at him, until he left without another word. Emmanuel sat there, unsure of reality, and yet the throbbing pain in his wrists certainly wasn’t imaginative. He was fairly convinced that when leaving his office, Austin’s things would hopefully be gone, and so would he. 

The liquor cabinet was the first sight to draw Emmanuel’s attention away from the uneasiness that refused to let his breathing stabilize. He was allowed an escape, was he not? So he approached the collection of hard liquor, choosing the cheapest bottle of vodka, that fit the purpose. He knew he’d be downing more than he could recover from in the limit of a few hours, but staying overnight wasn’t unusual for him.

***

The pounding headache wasn’t an unexpected occurrence, however Emmanuel managed to be caught off guard, the heavy drinking having slipped his mind, or simply faded in the inebriation. Several hours had passed, and night had arrived without his knowledge, suggesting he’d been thoroughly wasted. There was something keeping him warm, and inspecting the source of said warmth further through his mildly blurred vision, he recognized the coat easily.

“Se-Jin called me saying you were blackout drunk,” Pedro informed him, when he noticed that Emmanuel had woken up. “I was hesitant to show up at first, since as you know, Lauren and I didn’t exactly part ways on good terms. Then Se-Jin told me you’d started breaking furniture, and I came here to discover that she wasn’t exaggerating.”

Emmanuel groaned slightly, when the action of sitting up only worsened the headache. While they hadn’t stopped keeping in contact after the breakup between Lauren and Pedro, it wasn’t typical of them to meet up anywhere near Lauren or Se-Jin. Getting wasted had created a slew of problems that Emmanuel hadn’t foreseen.

“I don’t care anymore,” He admitted, taking Pedro aback with his blunt statement, though not regretting his words. “I needed a distraction, and vodka did wonders.”   
It would never cease to amaze Pedro how poorly Emmanuel knew himself, and how easy it was for him to make stupid choices due to that lack of self awareness. He resembled a cat in many aspects, arrogant and independent, yet doomed to become roadkill if no one provided him a reason to stick around. 

Pedro was determined to be that reason, and he’d been able to steer Emmanuel in the right direction several times. When tensions arose between Lauren and Emmanuel, Pedro had been the one to untangle the complications. After all, Pedro knew Emmanuel better than anyone else.

“If you need a distraction,” He offered, knowing that Emmanuel wouldn’t turn him down. “Just call me, instead of getting wasted.”

***

When Lauren entered the room where she’d be interviewing one of the candidates for the job of Emmanuel’s assistant, she was met with the kindest smile she had ever encountered. In front of her was a man that appeared perfectly ordinary, yet she got the impression that he was anything but. There was an aura of gentility and innocence around him, that she could only assume reflected on his personality. 

She sat down across from him at the table, placing the documents she’d brought in front of her. He was perfect on paper, despite his lacking qualifications, and in person he was likewise ideal. A remarkably attractive man, who most likely wasn’t aware of his own appeal to the extent that it was present. She could tell that he was slightly nervous, and she found his shy nature to be somewhat charming.

“Well, Mr. Trudeau, I’d like to offer you the position, seeing as you’re absolutely perfect for the job,” Lauren stated resolutely, giving him a confident smile. “You can call me Clara.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what I'm doing either at this point but the last chapter will be a bit messed up


	10. Sameness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry 'bout the delay, my internet decided to say syke yesterday, so I wrote some more smut to make up for it.

Justin’s eyelids fluttered open, and he slowly became aware of his surroundings. His head was resting in Emmanuel’s lap, while a gentle hand brushed through his curls, and for a moment he considered pretending to still be asleep. He was too content with the caring and affectionate approach Emmanuel had taken, yet the slight aching in his entirety was subtly urging him to get up.

He still felt the exhaustion and unmistakable fatigue that the rough activities prior to his short rest had caused. Needless to say, he was thoroughly worn out. Ignoring the initial cramps and aches, he noticed that in spite of the blanket he’d been wrapped in, he was shivering from his less than ideal body temperature. 

“Justin?” Emmanuel asked, realizing that he was awake once he attempted to sit up, and succeeded with a bit of difficulty. “How do you feel?”

A question like that wasn’t exactly easy to answer, taking into account everything that had happened and the physical effects of it that still lingered. His emotions were all over the place, mostly distraught from the abandonment play that he now knew was far out of his comfort zone. Even if Emmanuel had stayed by his side during all of it, he had no desire to revisit the activity, and the memory of the sensory aspects was enough to provoke an all too familiar anxiety. 

“Cold,” Justin merely replied, feeling his damp shirt clamming to his skin stubbornly, not helped by the blanket subsequently becoming wet. “And tired.”

Emmanuel wasn’t surprised that these particular sensations stood out, but as it were, his curiosity was regarding Justin’s emotional state. He rarely bothered concerning himself with such matters, however, it was safe to say that he’d witnessed a rapid shift in Justin’s endurance, ultimately leading to both of them having some minor regrets. 

“I’m going to have Lauren bring you some clean clothes,” He said, while Justin drew his knees to his chest for warmth. “You can sleep here if you want. It’s pretty late already, and you have a shift tomorrow so it would make sense to just stay the night.”

For a brief moment, he was somewhat self conscious, knowing that his offer could’ve come across as more of a plea. He didn’t usually sound so careful and invested, but the last 24 hours had been quite tiring for him too. Seeing Justin cry - his own actions being the direct cause - had wrecked his composure, and made him unsure of how to carry himself appropriately. 

Justin simply nodded, mind confined in a pattern of worries and contemplations that he couldn’t really seem to break out of. Was Emmanuel pitying him? He knew that there was no real reason to feel ashamed, although having broken into tears and expressed fear was something that provoked a vast amount of self-pity. He didn’t want Emmanuel to find out how deep his own sense of shame and helplessness truly was, concluding that it was better left unsaid. 

“Alright,” Emmanuel answered, stretching to shake off the stiffness of having sat in the same position for so long. “We’ll set something up. I’ll go find Lauren, and bring some water in case you’re dehydrated. You can put on the other clothes that you took off, since you’re cold. I already cleaned you up, so it shouldn’t feel sticky or anything.”

Justin flinched slightly when Emmanuel mentioned having cleaned him, and he supposed it was somewhat predictable, remembering how reluctant Justin had been in the past to let Emmanuel clean him up. Perhaps he shouldn’t have said it so nonchalantly, but to him it really didn’t bear much significance. Leaving it at that seemed like the right option, and so he left the office while Justin got dressed.

***

Suspecting that Se-Jin was still in the break room, Emmanuel figured that Lauren would be there as well. Sure enough, both of them were sitting at the table when he entered, and Se-Jin had taken the liberty to make popcorn, scattering them across the floor in the process of catching them with her mouth. There was no doubt she’d been doing it for a while, since she’d somehow thrown a large amount of the popcorn high enough to get caught in the lamp, while Lauren followed each popcorn with her eyes before they landed wherever.

“How’s Justin?” Se-Jin asked, chewing on one of the popcorn that she’d picked up from the empty mug in front of her. 

Lauren’s expression suggested that Se-Jin had managed not to succumb to her instinct of gossiping, and the conversation they’d had earlier had remained between her and Emmanuel. Lauren who hadn’t been present, appeared understandably curious as to what Se-Jin was specifically referring to.

“Sleeping here with me,” Emmanuel answered, not eager to go deeper into the details of Justin’s condition without really knowing them himself. “Which is why I’ll be needing some pillows and sheets, if you don’t mind,” He requested, looking at Lauren who nodded. “And a clean shirt for Justin.”

Se-Jin had a grin on her lips, indicating that she was about to make a teasing remark, upon discovering that Justin would be sleeping over. Emmanuel chose to deliberately ignore her, turning to the fridge, in order to get a bottle of water for Justin. As soon as he reached for one, he felt a popcorn hit the back of his head, undoubtedly Se-Jin’s doing. He turned with a sigh after grabbing the bottle, being hit with yet another popcorn, this time in the middle of his forehead.

“Are you gonna let him pop your cherry?” She asked with a taunting smirk, earning a slap on the wrist from Lauren who identified the topic as one that would cause discomfort.

Emmanuel’s unamused expression suggested that he had no interest in discussing the subject with her, despite their habit of sharing an absurd degree of inappropriate information with each other - on a daily basis no less. And yet this particular topic was very seldom brought up, due to Emmanuel’s clear reluctance to even acknowledge it. He wasn’t surprised that Lauren received parts of the information that he’d exclusively told Se-Jin with the expectation that it would be kept private.

“Please don’t ever use that phrase again,” He replied, finding her words very off-putting to say the least. “Regardless, it’s none of your business.”

Lauren sat as a quiet spectator, trying to appear disinterested, even though she was highly entertained. Se-Jin had a habit of spilling Emmanuel’s private life to her, and for the most part the details would take her aback, but finding out that Emmanuel hadn’t slept with anyone only confirmed a suspicion she’d had for several years. 

“He’ll get the wrong idea if you invite him to a sleepover and then fail to sleep with him,” Se-Jin said, throwing yet another popcorn at Emmanuel, who had seemingly been prepared enough to swat it away. “Besides, if not Justin then who? He’s basically your boyfriend at this point.”

That comment apparently poked at one of Emmanuel’s frustrations, and he didn’t spare a second brushing off her statement, without having entirely considered the seriousness of her tone. Whether or not she’d meant to tick him off, that was inevitably the outcome, as he took it far more gravely than was reasonable.

“He’s just an assistant,” Emmanuel scoffed condescendingly, causing even Lauren’s unbothered attitude to falter. “As if I’d ever go further with him than just playing until I get bored.”

Se-Jin’s lighthearted grin quickly faded, and so did the previous amusement she’d felt. Emmanuel’s assistants never lasted more than two weeks, preventing her from ever developing a bond with them, but this time the situation was unique. She’d become fond of Justin, and considered him a friend, though she was aware that he could be cut loose at any given moment if Emmanuel so pleased. 

This just served as a reminder that there was a pattern which couldn’t be broken, regardless of who attempted to do the breaking. Lauren had taken his retort even more closely to her conscience than Se-Jin, seeing as she’d bet heavily on Justin being the one to withstand Emmanuel’s tendency to dispose of his used toys. She couldn’t help being affected by his sudden shift, knowing that it hinted at Justin's expiration date.

“I’ll go get the things you asked for,” Lauren said, getting up from her chair. “Just tell me if there’s anything else.”

Emmanuel nodded, and Se-Jin cleared her throat as she started cleaning up the mess she’d made, no longer having an appetite. Emmanuel left the room shortly after Lauren had, and suddenly the prospect of going back to the office seemed like a much bigger step than it had before.

***

Justin helped spread the sheets across the leather sofas, and Emmanuel got the pillows from where Lauren had stacked them outside the office. She rarely ever entered when the blinds were down, taking it as a sign that she wasn’t meant to intrude, unless Emmanuel had given her explicit permission. The blinds were usually down for a reason after all. 

Justin was still wearing the same shirt, despite the fact that Lauren had brought him a clean one, and Emmanuel was starting to suspect that Justin had trouble undressing with him around. This was very illogical in Emmanuel’s opinion, since Justin had been bare in front of him countless times before. 

“Let’s get you out of that shirt,” He said, though knowing that Justin was likely to refuse his help. 

He stepped closer, and in spite of the objections he’d expected from Justin, there was no resistance, and he was able to slide off the shirt easily. He could tell that Justin was cold, even though he was almost fully dressed, but perhaps the shivers were due to something else. His shoulders were drawn tightly to his torso, indicating that he was uncomfortable, and Emmanuel wondered if he’d somehow managed to screw up so badly that it had caused problems in terms of Justin’s self image. 

There were several intrusive thoughts and feelings building up in Emmanuel’s conscience, which he was trying to shake off, but without much luck. The most insistent emotion was one that he didn’t often experience when it came to his assistants. Guilt. It was unpleasant to say the least, and he wanted to deny that it was warranted, although it was quite obvious that he had good reason to feel remorse. 

He additionally felt something akin to frustration, or disappointment, which also happened to be uncalled for. His spiraling thoughts were conveying that it was Justin’s fault, since Emmanuel had never given him permission to feel ashamed of his body, causing disappointment. He felt disobeyed and disrespected, notwithstanding his nagging conviction that Justin had meant to do no such thing. And yet Emmanuel still had an urge to punish him, regardless of the lack of blame Justin carried. 

“What was the reward?” Justin asked, snapping Emmanuel out of his reveries. “Did I earn it?”

He looked at Emmanuel expectantly, and it seemed his question was well-received. Emmanuel hesitated slightly, as if he wasn’t sure of how he should proceed, nevertheless leaning in somewhat clumsily, kissing Justin carefully. It was a brief, but very significant kiss, Justin thought. He felt that he’d learned a lot about Emmanuel just from that single kiss, and it launched him into a row of contemplations. 

He hadn’t noticed it before, although they’d kissed twice already, but Emmanuel wasn’t particularly good at kissing. It suggested that he didn’t engage in such an intimate display of affection very often, and that brought Justin a great deal of reassurance. If his theory was correct, then it surely meant that Emmanuel viewed him differently from his previous assistants.

There was also the fairly amusing discovery he’d made, which was that Emmanuel wasn’t as sexually skilled or confident as he might have wanted people to think. It was endearing to an extent that made Justin blush bright red, and when Emmanuel’s lips parted with his own, he smiled shyly. Perhaps that kiss in itself was worth everything that had happened that day. He felt closer to Emmanuel than he had prior to that fateful kiss.

To his astonishment, they seemed almost equally flustered, and Justin had to prevent himself from reciprocating the kiss, fearing that he might overstep. It was difficult adhering to Emmanuel’s rules when they halted the progress in their relationship. That was undoubtedly what those rules were designed to do though.

***

A ray of sunshine breached the daze that pleasantly hung over Justin as he slept, and he blinked away the sleep blurring his vision. He recalled having agreed to sleeping over, making his surroundings self-explanatory. He sat up, catching Emmanuel sitting at his desk like he usually did when Justin showed up for work. Today was no different, and he supposed that Emmanuel had a schedule that he couldn’t avoid following.

“Did you sleep well?” He asked when he noticed that Justin was awake and moving about. “I didn’t want to wake you up. You said you were tired yesterday, and so I thought I’d just let you sleep in.”

Justin nodded, running a hand through his hair to tame his messy curls. He put his shoes on, sensing the coffee-craving that would tend to strike upon waking up, and he intended to go get himself ready for the day’s tasks. He started folding the sheets, cleaning up after them but Emmanuel waved his hand dismissively.

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll have someone take care of that along with the rest of the office,” He explained, prompting Justin to pause. “I’m having a meeting later, and everything has to be on point. There’s a lot at stake, and I want you to remember that.”

Justin nodded slowly, finding Emmanuel’s emphasis on the last part of his statement to be somewhat ill-fitting and even alarming. He suspected that it was his own paranoia, causing an exaggerated reaction to a simple order, which shouldn’t be paid as much mind to as Justin did. but of course, he couldn’t ignore the fact that Emmanuel’s words were a tad out of place, since Justin wouldn’t be joining the meeting, and therefore prompted no reason for Emmanuel to express the importance of it.

Maybe he didn’t trust that a mistake, like the one that had occurred the time Justin had handed him the wrong outline, couldn’t happen again. It was an innocent reminder at best, and Emmanuel expressing distrust at worst. Justin couldn’t be entirely sure, but decided not to question it, keeping in mind that presumably his superior was under more stress than usual due to the meeting.

***

Se-Jin was sleepily swirling instant coffee around in her mug when Justin entered the break room, and even through the daze that she was in, Justin’s shirt made an impression. It was a size too small, and she figured that despite Lauren’s efforts she’d managed to pick a shirt that didn’t fit Justin entirely. It suited him, no doubt, but the manner of which the thin white fabric strained over his chest was probably a bit uncomfortable. 

“If you want coffee you’ll have to brew it or use this,” She said, pointing at the instant coffee. “There aren’t any beans left in the machine so no matter which setting you choose… well, you’ll get hot water.”

Justin started making instant coffee, giving her a smile as to thank her for the notice. She followed him with her eyes, and though she’d previously been spaced out, Justin was too great of a distraction for her to continue her daydream. It was a bit comical, surely he must have known the shirt was a bit lewd, assuming he’d gotten ready in front of a mirror. Every muscle was highlighted when he made even the slightest movement.

“Did you manage to get any sleep?” She asked, trying to push away her thoughts regarding the fit of the shirt. “Sleeping with the lights on is damn near impossible. I shared a room with him long enough to develop wrinkles from the lack of sleep.”

Justin realized that he’d been too exhausted for the glowing lights to disturb his ability to drift off. He hadn’t even noticed that they’d stayed on throughout the night, and subsequently hadn’t bothered considering it. He did recall Emmanuel’s father mentioning that his son most likely still slept with the lights on at night, but he hadn’t taken it seriously, as he knew that Emmanuel’s father wasn’t particularly trustworthy. 

“Yeah, I slept alright,” He merely answered, already deep in thought after what memories had emerged from his subconscious mind.

Sleeping with the lights on was understandable when taking into account that Emmanuel had a history of trauma, but Justin couldn’t shake the feeling that progress should have been made since then to rid Emmanuel of the fears that still seemed to haunt him, causing substantial obstacles on a daily basis. 

The more Justin got to know Emmanuel, the more he discovered that would continue to irk his sympathy, resulting in the said sympathy working on overdrive. He suspected that Emmanuel was too proud, and distrustful of others to let anyone aid or assist him in confronting these fears. In some aspects he’d just stopped maturing, resembling a child in terms of his danger assessment, never growing out of sleeping with the lights on, or having someone hold his hand when distress struck. 

The only real attempts Emmanuel had presumably made to better his life in the psychological sense, was projecting. A coping mechanism that Lauren had explained to Justin, which he’d later recognize having been subjected to as well. And it suddenly occurred to him that the abandonment play was most certainly another thing that Emmanuel had suffered, and now projected onto others. Being abandoned in a closet wasn’t much different from being abandoned while tied up and blindfolded.

His string of contemplations was cut short when Dawn entered the break room, snapping both Se-Jin and him out of their stupor, as she caught their attention with her arrival. Her gaze immediately landed on Justin, being anchored there, while her expression turned into one of confusion.

“Did Emmanuel make you go a size down, or did you just run out of shirts your own size?” She asked, crossing her arms, as Lauren entered behind her. “I’m not complaining, it’s a nice view but it’s hardly appropriate.”

Lauren quickly understood what Dawn was referring to, and she looked fairly displeased with the fit of the shirt that she’d brought him the day before. Emmanuel seemingly hadn’t expressed any displeasure with it however, since Justin was still wearing it, and had been for long enough that it couldn’t have gone unnoticed. 

“I didn’t know your size so I just guessed, going off of my own estimations,” She sighed, studying the way the fabric stretched over his skin. “Clearly I missed the mark. Stand up for a second.”

She extended her arm, beckoning him over, and he felt that he had no choice but to obey the unspoken command. He stood up, and she placed him in front of her and Dawn who examined the fit of his shirt closely. The excessive attention was slightly uncomfortable, and he tensed up as they moved his arms about, in order to observe the flexibility of the fabric. Se-Jin looked fairly amused, spectating the ordeal from her seat.

“The meeting is today, we have to look presentable,” Lauren complained, and Dawn agreed with that sentiment, equally dismayed with Justin’s attire apparently. “Do you think I have time to go get him a new shirt?”

Justin was about to accept the suggestion but Dawn started speaking before he had a chance to say anything. He’d initially thought the shirt fit appropriately, even though it was a size smaller than he might have preferred. Surely there was no reason to make such a fuss about it, although he was quite familiar with the perfectionistic nature of all the employees, save for Se-Jin of course. 

Emmanuel himself was likewise extremely pedantic, and Justin had been rather taken aback when he said that he’d get someone to clean the office, when as far as Justin could tell, all surfaces were spotless. Not a single item was out of place, and besides the sheets and pillows, the room was perfectly clean. 

“You won’t be able to make it back in time,” Dawn pointed out, shaking her head. “It’s too risky to cut it close. Maybe we can have the shirt fit better by making a few adjustments here and there.”

Her and Lauren started pulling at the fabric in different places, while Justin stood unmoving, simply trying to let them work without getting in the way. Se-Jin sat by, sipping at her coffee with a raised eyebrow, observing the peculiar scene in front of her. Dawn started unbuttoning the sleeves of the shirt, attempting to remove some of the strain of the fabric, while Lauren pulled the shirt up with the same purpose. 

“Try the buttons at the front,” Se-Jin proposed, with the sole intent being to tease Justin. “Top and bottom.”

Lauren did exactly as Se-Jin had suggested, unbuttoning the top buttons of the shirt, and Dawn attempted to do the same, struggling with the buttons that were in the bottom. She pulled the shirt up from where it was tugged in Justin’s pants, while Lauren took notice and tried to help by unzipping Justin’s trousers, as to free the shirt. 

Se-Jin’s mouth fell slightly open, staring at Justin’s clothes being nearly torn in the idle attempt of making it appear more loose. Justin’s cheeks were flaring bright red in response to Laurens hands fumbling with the zipper, as it was uncomfortably close to where he would have rather it not be. When the shirt came loose, Dawn’s rough pulling made it fling upwards, almost all the way above his chest. 

Se-Jin started laughing hysterically, only to quiet herself down with the palm of her hand across her mouth when another employee came in. Justin recognized her as the yellow Clara whom he still hadn’t asked the name of. The moment didn’t exactly allow for him to do so either, as the woman was met with a sight that could only be described as easy to misunderstand. To his surprise she barely reacted, even as it appeared as if Justin was an unwilling star of a strip show.

“They’re here,” She announced, with a tone that conveyed anything but urgency, but nevertheless sent Lauren into a near panic. “Mr. Macron is greeting them at the elevator as we speak.”

With that she left as abruptly as she had arrived, and Lauren was right behind her, forgetting all about the task she’d been attending to a mere second earlier. Dawn followed suit, catching up to them as they headed for the elevators, while Se-Jin stood up casually. She stopped in front of Justin who was so stunned, he had yet to readjust his displaced clothes, simply standing there dumbfounded. 

“I didn’t think they’d actually start undressing you,” Se-Jin chuckled, though clearly lacking any type of remorse at the state that her joke had put Justin in. “Don’t worry though, the shirt is fine, just a tiny bit distracting.”

She buttoned it for him, and Justin was submissive enough for her to play around with as she pleased, without any real repercussions. When the buttons had been done, she started tugging the shirt back into his pants, then zipping them, and straightening his collar. Satisfied with her work, she gave him a smile and turned on her heel. 

Needless to say, Justin had endured enough strange things to render this ordinary in comparison. He figured that he should go back to his desk, and start working as he’d been intending to do before he’d entered the break room, and subsequently played dress-up involuntarily. 

***

As expected, Emmanuel’s office was tidy enough for any guest to find pleasing, and they were all seated at the coffee table, where liquor and cigars had been prepared. Lauren and Se-Jin were standing at the sideline, making themselves available, though in a manner Justin hadn’t witnessed before, suggesting that the guests were of great importance to the company and Emmanuel’s career.

Said guests did not appear impressive outwardly however, and Justin had to assume that they were extremely influential for something unrelated to their appearance. There were three of them; one woman and two men, all above 50 years of age as far as he could tell. The woman had a stiff expression, and despite the lack of wrinkles she looked worn out and old. She’d most likely had Botox, and Justin couldn’t blame her, after all she’d probably look on the brink of death without it. 

The first man had platinum white hair, much like Se-Jin’s, although his was natural. Justin could spot a few liver spots, even from a distance, which unsettled him somewhat. One of his eyes were greyish, indicating that he’d lost sight on it - another similarity between him and Se-Jin, Justin noted.

The second man was undoubtedly the youngest, and almost took up half a sofa on his own, further unsettling Justin with his strong frame. He had inky black hair, but pale white skin, and there was a good chance it had been dyed. He took special notice of Lauren, hinting at the role she played with her presence, as her body could enchant any man with an eye for beauty. Justin didn’t fault Emmanuel for taking to every last advantage to please his guests, but he also couldn’t condone it.

Before he’d become aware of how long he’d been staring, he and the woman made eye contact, and he promptly looked away. Was it the shirt? But Se-Jin had assured him that it was fine, and that he shouldn’t worry, yet the woman was looking him over with interest, and Justin could do nothing but pretend that he hadn’t noticed. His eyes met Emmanuel’s, and at first he supposed it was to reprimand him for staring, until Emmanuel gestured for him to come closer. 

Justin didn’t understand. He wasn’t of any purpose to the objective of the meeting, and Emmanuel wouldn’t have any use of him when there were others around. Of course, such a thought didn’t linger, as it stung the more Justin contemplated it. He really didn’t have much worth did he? Still, he entered the office cautiously, wondering why he’d been beckoned inside.

“My, what a lovely one,” The woman cackled hoarsely when Justin approached. “Brian have you seen?”

The older man nodded, eyeing Justin greedily, though less wickedly than the woman. If his back hadn’t been turned to the glass, he most likely would’ve spotted Justin first. There was nothing to do but smile politely while the guests ravaged him with their arrogant gaze. Emmanuel took note of Justin’s overtly timid behavior, taking his hand in what appeared to be a considerate gesture, before it turned into something completely different.

Justin simply stared when Emmanuel gave a resolute nod to the floor, clearly signaling for Justin to kneel at his feet. For a moment Justin questioned if Emmanuel had somehow forgotten that they were in the middle of a meeting - a very important one at that. But it was very certain that Emmanuel knew exactly where he wanted his subordinate. 

That’s when Justin remembered the words Emmanuel had spoken that morning, which he’d considered out of place and ill-fitting. ‘Everything has to be on point. There’s a lot at stake, and I want you to remember that.’ Emmanuel had said it with conviction, and Justin now understood why. If he didn’t obey then he’d destroy every chance of the meeting being successful, and subsequently damage the company and Emmanuel in the process. He had no choice. 

Someone had to suffer humiliation, and the decision was in Justin’s hands. Emmanuel knew that Justin was a selfless, kind person, and he was preying on those very qualities, turning them into weaknesses for his own benefit. His bet was placed with confidence in Justin’s need to serve him to the fullest extent, even if it meant doing so at his own expense. And sure enough, Justin lowered himself, kneeling at Emmanuel’s side.

The guests observed them with approval on their faces, and Emmanuel didn’t seem even the slightest bit impressed, nor grateful at Justin’s subservience. Perhaps he’d been counting on Justin to accept being relegated to the floor without complaint. It wasn’t unlike Justin to shamelessly stoop that low, in Emmanuel’s opinion.

The meeting went on, but Justin didn’t hear any of the subjects discussed, being too distraught to focus on anything in particular. The gears in his mind had been jammed up, and nothing coherent was formed in the first few minutes, until it all came flooding through. Emotions, thoughts, instincts, senses; all of it. He bit down on his tongue to keep himself grounded and attached to reality, but his trust in anything and everything had been ruthlessly broken.

He attempted to calm himself down by excusing and rationalizing the situation, looking back at the first time he’d knelt at Emmanuel’s feet. But this was different. Justin knew that he wasn’t kneeling on his own accord, but rather that he’d been pressured into it, and taken advantage of. There was no sexual context or intention, exclusively objectification - ordered by someone he’d felt safe with.

Justin knew that Emmanuel had to have been aware that he was overstepping a boundary, unless he simply didn’t have any boundaries and felt entitled to use Justin however he pleased. He wanted to humiliate Justin and manipulate him for his own amusement and gain, whether or not he had the right to do so. He had all the leverage, able to fire Justin and bring his living situation in jeopardy, simultaneously using Justin’s feelings towards him to control him.

Making matters even worse whilst the toxic worries in Justin’s mind spiraled far beyond his ability to handle, Emmanuel started stroking Justin’s hair, putting on a show for his intrigued guests. It went on, like a mindless act that didn’t take much consideration, and Justin realized that he was being petted. Not the typical sweet gesture, but one that made it obvious what he was to Emmanuel… a pet. 

Emmanuel could do it. He had the power, and the means to destroy Justin if he had the desire to do so. He could do it, because Justin wasn’t upper class or wealthy like him, far from it. So he could do it. Who was going to stop him? Not Justin, that was for sure. Compared to Emmanuel Justin was a nobody without a voice.

Justin couldn’t gather the courage to raise his head, or face any of the guests, since everyone in that room had just witnessed him being treated like a dog and humiliated. His throat had tightened, and continued to tighten whenever Emmanuel’s hand brushed over his head in that excruciating petting motion. He put most of his effort into blinking back tears, and steady himself so that he wouldn’t be caught quivering. 

He looked up at Lauren, trying to seek refuge in the comfort of someone familiar, but she was standing straight with her eyes averted. He then tried Se-Jin, but she appeared just as neutral and unmoving, leading Justin to believe that he was out of options. He was alone, and everyone in the office saw him as Emmanuel had portrayed him; a pet.

It finally seemed as if the meeting was coming to a conclusion and Emmanuel walked his guests out of the office, while Lauren and Se-Jin followed them all the way to the elevators. When they were out of sight, Emmanuel turned back, approaching the coffee table where he’d left Justin. He saw the tears dripping onto the floor, and he immediately knew that he’d exceeded even his own standards of degradation. 

Justin was still on his knees, though he was perfectly capable of standing up - physically at least. Emmanuel extended his hand, offering his help in getting Justin to his feet, but his wrist was pushed away immediately. He was utterly taken aback by the sudden hostility, which was more prevalent than he’d ever seen it. Justin got up without assistance, walking right past Emmanuel who grabbed his wrist to regain control of the situation.

“Don’t you fucking dare ever do that to me again,” Justin sobbed, pulling away his wrist and briefly looking back at Emmanuel to get his point across.

Justin looked absolutely devastated, but Emmanuel let him go, merely watching him slam the door behind himself. He had made it clear that he didn’t want to be followed, and Emmanuel didn’t see any better alternative to simply granting him that. There wasn’t much of a defense to what he’d done either way.

***

“What if he doesn’t come back?” Se-Jin asked nervously, biting into her thumb as the nail had already been chipped away. “It’s been two hours. What do we do if something happened to him? Do you think something happened to him?”

Lauren calmly emptied the dishwasher, sorting the items as she attempted to distract herself, knowing that it was an idle tactic. Despite her numerous worries, she remained more put together than Se-Jin, who was pacing back and forth. After what had occurred in Emmanuel’s office, she couldn’t deny that it was reasonable for Justin to take time away from the building to gather his thoughts. 

“His things are still here,” She pointed out, although she knew that it wouldn’t serve to provide Se-Jin much comfort. “He’ll come back… probably. He’s too broke to intentionally leave behind his possessions.”

It was a simple fact. Justin wasn’t the type to settle for loose ends and unfinished business, Lauren was sure of it. Two hours wasn’t that much after all, and depending on the circumstances, she herself could easily spend two hours running errands. Of course, Justin wasn’t running errands, and his incentive to return was quite brittle when taking into account the degradation he’d been made to endure. 

She could barely comprehend how far Emmanuel had actually gone, with someone as pure as Justin no less. It was disturbing in a sense, and had she been the one asked to kneel, she would have most likely left as abruptly as Justin had. And had Emmanuel done it to Se-Jin, surely he would lose a limb in the process. It made her nauseas just imagining the thoughts going through Justin’s mind throughout the meeting.

“Thank god,” Se-Jin sighed, and Lauren turned to see Justin entering the break room with a surprisingly content expression on his features. 

Se-Jin threw her arms around him, enveloping him in a tight embrace which he reciprocated gently. They stayed in that position longer than what would’ve otherwise been appropriate, and Lauren could tell that something was wrong. Justin held onto her as if it was the last time he’d ever do so, forming a grim prediction in Lauren’s mind.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention I was leaving for…” He apologized, checking his watch to see how long he’d been gone, before Se-Jin informed him that it was two whole hours. “Right. I’m sorry.”

Se-Jin smiled with relief, but quickly caught on to the odd atmosphere which indicated that Justin had more to apologize for than just having been absent those few hours. Judging by the resolve in his voice, both her and Lauren were reluctantly admitting to themselves that his mind couldn’t be changed, regardless of how they responded to what he was about to tell them.

“I called my uncle,” He started, and they listened intently, hoping that the rest of the statement would be as benign as the start of it. “He’s got a repair shop downtown and I’ll be working there for the time being, until I find another job that can provide a stable income. According to the terms of my employment contract I don’t have to file a two week notice, meaning I’ll be leaving today.”

Lauren could hardly believe it. Justin’s decision went against all her expectations, and she’d been caught utterly off guard, assuming the same went for Se-Jin. They’d been preparing for the unfortunate event that Emmanuel might discard of Justin, but not the other way around. So far Justin had been resilient and refused to accept what seemed to be an inevitable outcome, while Emmanuel had utilized the pettiest of punishments to push him away. And yet Justin persisted… until he didn’t.

“So you’re giving up?” Lauren asked bitterly, mostly due to her disappointment regarding the faith she’d placed in Justin’s ability to reform Emmanuel. “After everything, you’re quitting because of a setback?”

She didn’t have to ask, already knowing the answer to her own question, but hoping that by expressing her dismay Justin might reconsider. It wasn’t unlike Emmanuel to give up on people who ceased to interest him, but Justin was supposed to be the one to not give up. He’d endured so much already, it shouldn’t have to be for nothing.

“It wasn’t a setback, it was the last straw,” Justin clarified, having expected the pushback from her. “I remembered what I told you the time I found out your real name. The only person who can fix Emmanuel is himself. I’m hoping that by leaving, he’ll learn it, and perhaps try to change.”

Se-Jin scoffed, considering Justin’s reasoning to be absolutely absurd. She was one of the people who knew Emmanuel best, and so she knew that no such thing would happen. Emmanuel would never change out of his own volition, which she’d expected Justin to have learned by now. She couldn’t fault him though, seeing as everything else had failed to show any adequate results, and presumably the relationship was taking a toll on Justin’s mental health.

“I won’t convince you to stay if it’s not what you want,” Se-Jin finally nodded, recognizing that it wasn’t up to her either way. “But I wish it would’ve worked out in the end, despite Emmanuel’s… bad habits.”

Justin chuckled slightly, taking her response as a sign of understanding on her part, which he was very grateful for. When making his decision, he’d of course considered how it might affect the people he’d come to think of as his friends. Even having to say goodbye to them as well, didn’t deter him from doing what he was about to do.

***

Justin placed the document in front of Emmanuel who was sitting at his desk, clearly absorbed in his work, as if what he’d done had failed to influence his neutral state of being, in any way, shape or form. He appeared so completely intent on dismissing Justin, that only learning the contents of the document would snap him out of his current endeavor.

“My letter of resignation,” Justin stated, purposely draining his words of any emotion that may have been linked to it.

Emmanuel gave it a shallow glance, but Justin could tell that he regarded it as mere bluff, probably counting on Justin’s dependence on him being too significant for the document to be legit. His gaze quickly returned to the paperwork, indicating that he wouldn’t deign the ordeal any further attention. His arrogance never failed to astonish Justin, though at that point he was more than accustomed to it.

“You don’t have my permission,” He simply replied, getting increasingly bored with Justin’s melodramatic behavior. “Your letter of resignation is rejected.”

Justin didn’t know if Emmanuel’s denial was from a place of trying to cope with being left so unexpectedly, or if he genuinely believed that Justin was pulling a childish stunt for the sake of getting attention. Whichever was the case, it didn’t make the situation easier in any sense of the word. 

“That’s very funny, but I don’t need your permission,” Justin informed him, and it only then seemed to occur to Emmanuel that this was no stunt. “Just do me a final favor and treat your next assistant better. You may not have a conscience, but Se-Jin and Lauren do. If you continue like this, you’ll end up alone, because even they will become fed up eventually. If you keep treating people the way you treat me, there won’t be anyone to save you when a disgruntled ex-lover locks you in a utility closet. Or bring you dry pants, or buy you illegal drugs for that matter.”

Emmanuel looked nothing short of displeased, and his raised eyebrow hinted confusion. Justin had to consider the possibility that Emmanuel was too socially inept to realize that he’d made any wrongdoings, or that treating Justin like a pet wouldn’t be crossing a very overt line. 

“I’m not quite sure what makes you say that,” He answered, speaking with such a bland tone that it nearly made Justin irritated. “You never seemed dissatisfied with our arrangement throughout the time you spent with me. At least that’s the impression I got when you were moaning my name repeatedly.”

Bringing up Justin’s vulnerable moments to invalidate his criticism and embarrass him was very characteristic of Emmanuel, and there was no reason to put it past him. By making Justin seem vain and delusional, he was presenting one of the finest examples of how petty he would unapologetically resort to being. Of course, with Emmanuel; humiliation begets humiliation.

“I don’t think you realize that because of you I’ve never in my life felt so lonely and isolated,” Justin said, and made sure that Emmanuel could tell that he was being sincere. “Because of you I feel ashamed of my body, my feelings, everything about myself. I’ve come to truly despise who I am, and I don’t know if I can go on like that. I’ve seen what it’s done to you.”

“What makes you think I hate myself?” Emmanuel scoffed, barely taking a second to consider Justin’s words. “Look at what I’ve built,” He said, spreading his arms to gesture at the property - the view of his office located in his company. “Why would I hate the person who earned me everything I rightfully own?”

Justin really didn’t have the patience to teach Emmanuel the difference between sentimental value and economic value. He was convinced that Emmanuel knew, and didn’t need to be told that wealth wasn’t an inherent path to happiness. Nevertheless, he was set on believing it because acknowledging the truth was a difficult task.

“You hate yourself so much it’s tormenting you,” Justin said, expressing pity which he knew Emmanuel could not stand. “You hate yourself so much you feel the need to humiliate others in order to alleviate your own humiliation. You crave control because in reality you have none. You don’t know how to comfort someone because during childhood your parents never taught you how. That’s why you find solace in sexually dominating others, since you struggle with your masculinity, and can’t let yourself be touched because the only touch you’ve experienced so far has brought you distress and rejection.”

Emmanuel’s neutral front was falling apart, and for the first time Justin saw a glimpse of honesty from him in their conversation. Perhaps being told these things was the risk Emmanuel had tried not to run by letting others know his past and what led him to act the way he did. But it was too late. Justin knew everything.

“You’ve used sex to manipulate people for so long that you no longer see the act as something that’s meant to be intimate and pleasant,” Justin went on, taken aback by how far Emmanuel was allowing him to go. “Now you’re scared, thinking that anyone who wants to have sex with you, wants to manipulate you, so that’s where you draw the line. You deny yourself the things you want the most because of fear, and I feel sorry for you. But that doesn’t mean I’ll let you treat me like an emotional support animal.”

Had it not been Justin delivering those scathing words, Emmanuel would have brushed it off without much thought, but that wasn’t an option now. As much as he wanted to pretend that he wasn’t the least bit affected, his eyes gave away his true reaction. He couldn’t counter Justin’s argument, for very obvious reasons; he was correct, about everything.

“If that’s all,” He answered, clearing his throat. “Then you may leave.”

He’d started experimenting with S&M as an excuse to aid his trauma, masking the unconventional coping mechanism as a sexual preference, even though he’d never explicitly used it for sexual gratification. While it had its benefits, it also prevented him from forming intimate relationships, although this hadn’t been a goal of his either. 

He hadn’t concerned himself with how to safely have an S&M relationship, but he knew that aftercare and comfort was a huge part of it, and that if not carried out right, someone was bound to get hurt. Indeed Justin had experienced a subdrop on multiple occasions, which - although not uncommon for Emmanuel’s assistants - should’ve been dealt with. 

Instead, Emmanuel repeatedly chose to ignore overt warning signs, and he’d never bothered considering that this would have serious consequences. Justin wasn’t the first assistant who’d been left mentally scarred, but it was the first time Emmanuel was effectively impacted by it. Doing things the way he usually did just hadn’t been good enough, and he was paying for it now.

***

Lauren’s navy blue pantsuit fit like a glove, giving her appearance a classy boost, which complimented her overall demeanor. Her black wedges matched all her new outfits, and experimenting with her style had been a privilege not afforded to her in years. It was a much appreciated change.

“Have I told you how much I love that color on you,” Se-Jin smiled flirtatiously, inspecting the tight fit of the pantsuit. “Not that red didn’t look incredible of course. You’re stunning in all shades.”

Lauren scoffed, knowing that Se-Jin’s compliments - although sincere - had ulterior purposes, mostly failing to charm her sufficiently enough to earn her any rewards. That didn’t stop her from admiring the ring on her finger, treasuring it almost as much as the person who’d gifted it to her. Se-Jin rolled her eyes, observing her fiancé so enamored with the costly diamond on the ring. She couldn’t blame her though, since it happened to be bigger than the one Pedro had given her many years back. 

“You better get back to your desk before Emmanuel decides to retract your promotion,” She teased, giving Lauren a playful nudge, aware of the trouble her innocent provocation could land her in if she wasn’t careful. “He’s still as bossy as he’s always been. I wouldn’t be surprised if he confiscates your new clothes any day now.”

Lauren stuck out her tongue, but decided not to take any chances, heading back towards her desk. There were still traces of Justin’s previous presence there, and she’d been using his pen ever since being promoted, finding comfort in the memory of when he’d sat there while trying to find head and tail in Emmanuel’s schedule. 

She couldn’t help but smile at the search history she’d found on the computer, supposing that this was something Justin hadn’t considered when he’d left. The searches were innocent enough, mostly involving Emmanuel and the company, which was reasonable. The only ones that stood out were ‘Emmanuel Macron wife’ and ‘Emmanuel Macron Clara’ though it wasn’t particularly surprising.

She touched up on her matte lipstick, overlining as was her signature look, before she stacked up the relevant folders. She balanced them gracefully as she entered Emmanuel’s office, placing them on his desk, trying to do so as carefully as possible in order not to disturb him. Emmanuel didn’t appear bothered however, and thanked her for bringing him the requested folders. 

“Please tell Hannah I’ll be needing a printed copy of the appropriated costs,” He said, sifting through the contents of the folders. “The plan is quite simple but a physical copy might be helpful.”

Lauren nodded, getting ready to leave the office and fulfill the new request, but something caught her eye, right as she was about to turn around. She stepped closer to the liquor cabinet, where the Oxapax had been discreetly placed in the back, and now had somehow disappeared from that spot.

“You’re out already?” She asked, slightly taken aback by the supposed speed at which all the pills had been consumed. “I thought you said they were only for emergencies as a replacement for alcohol. They can be addictive, you know. You were the one who told me that.”

Emmanuel chuckled slightly, indicating that the situation wasn’t as serious as Lauren was making it seem. She didn’t appreciate the lightness with which he was treating the topic, seeing as they were discussing illegal medication. Had Emmanuel not been showing promising progress, she most likely would’ve been extremely upset upon discovering the disappearance of the Oxapax.

“I never took any,” He admitted, causing Lauren’s mouth to fall slightly open in disbelief. “I didn’t need it, so I got rid of it. But don’t get the wrong idea, I didn’t drink excessively either. I think I realized that extreme alcohol consumption never did me any good, although I probably should’ve figured that out sooner.”

Lauren could tell that he was being honest, and she now had an additional reason to be proud of him. She’d expected Justin’s departure to be the tipping point, causing Emmanuel to go completely off the rails, but strangely enough, it had the opposite effect. She’d never seen Emmanuel so at ease within himself, while shelving the projection that had been a core policy of the company for years at that point. It was safe to say that he was on the right track, and Justin had been right to suspect that leaving would be the most beneficial course of action that he could take.

“Congratulations Emmanuel,” She smiled, knowing exactly what her next step would be.

***

Justin opened the front door, seemingly confused with finding Lauren on his doorstep, wanting to ask several questions that would lead him to the purpose of her visit. He didn’t though, merely standing there while she bit her lip, apparently as stunned by her impulsivity as he was. She smiled, but the gesture was forced, and she dropped it immediately. Instead she wrapped her arms around him, and only then did she realize how much she’d actually missed having him around, despite her usual reserved nature.

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked, nevertheless hugging her back as he’d managed to miss her as well. “How did you know where I live?”

Lauren seemed conflicted as to how she should answer his questions appropriately when she pulled back, and Justin decided to step aside so that she could come inside. She sighed, relieved with having been invited in, and he suspected that they were about to have a long conversation.

She looked around the apartment while Justin made them coffee, and she had already guessed that they’d be drinking instant coffee. The living room wasn’t particularly spacy, but neither was the apartment overall, which could probably be attributed to Justin’s financial situation. She’d most likely be living in a similar apartment had she not found a way into Emmanuel and Se-Jin’s life, and chosen not to marry Pedro. She had to admit to herself that Justin was far less tempted by money and the upper class life than she herself was. It was quite admirable.

“How have you been since…” She started, but didn’t entirely know how to end her own sentence. “I mean are you doing alright and all?”

She didn’t move further away from the kitchen than where Justin’s voice was still clear, although her curiosity was luring her. The apartment had many items of sentimental value, which Emmanuel’s apartment didn’t, at least as far as she could remember. She’d only been there once, after Pedro had convinced her to let him take Emmanuel home one night he’d gotten wasted. She didn’t trust Pedro to be there alone with him, for obvious reasons, and she’d taken the opportunity to look around.

“I’ve mostly been working,” Justin answered, carrying two mugs towards the dinner table, placing them on each side so they could sit across from each other. “You’re lucky I was home when you came over. Speaking of, how did you find my apartment? I’m pretty sure we never discussed where I live.”

Lauren sat down across from him, warming her hands on the mug. Justin’s apartment wasn’t far away from the company, and she’d decided to walk instead of spending money on a cab. It was cold outside though, and even with her more conservative clothing, she still wasn’t immune to the wind and cold weather. 

“It’s in the resume you sent in,” She replied, pulling out the document from the pocket of her coat. “The address is right there,” She told him, pointing at the information in the top left corner of the paper. “That’s how I sent you a letter back, requesting that you show up for a formal job interview. I probably could have googled it as well.”

Justin should’ve been able to figure that one out himself, but it didn’t seem that relevant, and he chose to move on to one of his other questions. It was hard to decide where to start, considering that he had a slew of things he was curious about, not to mention that he still hadn’t entirely registered her presence.

“Why did you show up here?” He asked, harsher than he’d intended, but that was beside the point. 

He couldn’t fight off the steadily rising paranoia that bugged him. He was well aware that Lauren’s loyalty lay with Emmanuel, and that he should act with caution. As far as he knew, she could be acting on her superiors behalf, since Justin was more susceptible to her than Emmanuel, due to the circumstances.

“I got engaged,” She announced, somewhat awkwardly showing off her ring. “I wanted to tell you, and Se-Jin would love for you to know as well. And I have more good news, but that’s probably the most important one.”

Justin congratulated her, and he couldn’t help but feel happy for her. He’d seen it coming, although he was familiar with the dysfunction in their relationship, and he supposed that they’d overcome the petty arguments they frequently had. The ring was quite the sight, and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t intimidate him just a little.

“In any case,” She continued, managing to sound even more nervous about delivering the additional news than she’d been about announcing her engagement. “I got a promotion, which means I’m now working at the desk that used to be yours,” She said, aware that Justin hadn’t expected this turn of events either. “I get to wear whatever I please, along with everyone else at the company. None of us go by Clara anymore, and Emmanuel knows the name of all the employees on the top floor.”

Justin knew where she was going with her list of Emmanuel’s accomplishments, and although he was glad to know that her working conditions had greatly improved, it didn’t change any of what had happened to him. It was obvious that she was trying to convince him to make peace with Emmanuel.

“It’s only been a few weeks since you resigned, but he’s already made so much progress,” She said, sounding overly confident in the continuation of this progress. “He doesn’t get wasted anymore. It’s… have you spoken to him lately by any chance? If not then I think you should. You could probably convince him to hire you back-”

“Lauren stop,” Justin cut her off, displeased with her eager attempts at making him crawl back. “I didn’t resign just to come back a few weeks later. I have no interest in speaking to Emmanuel, let alone work for him. It’s not going to happen. I’ve moved on, and believe it or not… I’m happy with the way things are, working for my uncle while I get my life back together again.”

It wasn’t a lie. He found himself less prone to tears and feelings of self loathing, which he attributed to his time apart from Emmanuel. He’d become more emotionally stable, and while he wasn’t entirely ready to start dating again, he knew that he’d be able to start a healthy relationship sooner or later.

“Emmanuel is sorry for what he did,” Lauren tried, though knowing that she couldn’t force Justin to reconsider his decision. “He regrets it, and he’s doing so much better now. All he needs is another chance.”

Justin scoffed, fairly certain that a few weeks would hardly be enough to transform Emmanuel into a decent human being. Perhaps he was being too hard on his former superior but the things he’d endured were the type that required a long process of healing. There was nothing that could justify what Emmanuel had done, regardless of how much he’d managed to change. Lauren of all people had to know this, and Justin wasn’t sure why she insisted on rushing him into a relationship that was bound to fail.

“If Emmanuel is really that sorry,” Justin started, earning Lauren’s attention completely as he spoke. “Then he can come here and tell me that himself.”

That was enough to silence her, as they both knew that Emmanuel would do no such thing. He was capable of a lot, but going out of his way to apologize and admit that he’d been wrong, wasn’t something he’d ever be able to do. They were both aware of that fact, which effectively ended their conversation.

***

“The weather is crazy today,” Hannah said, gathered like Se-Jin and Dawn at Lauren’s desk. “I wanted to bring an umbrella but it’d get torn apart.”

She was wearing a yellow blouse, apparently content with the color, despite having worn it nearly every day since the beginning of her employment. Most of the women on the top floor had ceased to wear their former color, now that they were free to choose their own attire. It wasn’t unusual however, to find one of them in their signature color, if it happened to be a very commonplace one, such as blue or pink.

“The streets are practically flooded,” Se-Jin answered, and Dawn nodded in agreement as they observed the pouring rain bashing against the building. “I hope it dies down before the end of my shift, cause I’m not going out in that weather.”

It wouldn’t surprise any of them if lightning struck, or thunder rang out, considering the storm-like weather, and heavy clouds. The traffic was bound to be jammed up with all the cars on the road, assuming that most people preferred staying warm and dry. Lauren for her part hadn’t ventured out since paying Justin a visit earlier that week, and she didn’t intend to return anytime soon with the current weather conditions.

Emmanuel was somehow able to give all of them a startle by closing the door to his office upon exit, and it appeared they’d been silently expecting thunder to be the cause of the impending shock. Their heads turned to where he was standing, and for a moment he was mildly amused by their wariness. 

“Se-Jin,” He said, beckoning her over without disclosing the purpose of this gesture. “Would you mind doing me a favor?”

There was really no reason to ask, since he already knew the answer and that Se-Jin rarely told him no, or passed up on running errands for him, regardless of the absurdity of said errands. She followed along as they walked down the hall, and she encouraged him to clarify, seeing as she obviously didn’t have the ability to read minds. 

“Accompany me to the ground floor?” He asked, and judging by her lazy groan, she clearly didn’t feel enthused about taking the stairs that far, seemingly for no particular reason. “We’re not taking the stairs.”

Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at him, trying to figure out if she’d heard correctly, until she realized that Emmanuel had led her to the elevators. Indeed, she hadn’t misunderstood him. Her initial reaction was one of excitement, before she suddenly felt anxious, remembering the state Emmanuel was in the last time she’d found him in a small space. 

“Are you sure?” She asked carefully, unsure of whether Emmanuel was really the one she should be worrying about, since as it were, she was the one about to panic. “You shouldn’t force yourself if you’re not ready…”

Emmanuel took her hand, bringing her onto the elevator with confidence which she could only admire. Emmanuel seemed entirely calm and determined, and it gave her a sense of reassurance, convincing her that he would be able to handle it. They hadn’t taken the elevator together, but it sure did seem like they were on the verge of doing so.

The elevator doors closed, and Emmanuel flinched only a brief moment before steadying himself, and closing his eyes with a deep breath. To Se-Jin’s astoundment, he looked somewhat at ease in spite of the circumstances. He wasn’t trembling or hyperventilating, and even though they were barely halfway there, she was entirely certain that he’d pull through without any setbacks.

As she’d predicted, the doors opened to the entrance hall, and Emmanuel was still standing solidly on his feet, notwithstanding the pressure he’d subjected himself to. Se-Jin couldn’t help but laugh in sheer joy as they stepped out of the elevator, and she wrapped her arms around him tightly to express her delight. Emmanuel accepted the embrace, hugging her back equally keen on celebrating his accomplishment.

“How did you do that?” She asked in disbelief, still not fully sure that she’d really witnessed what she most definitely had.

It was surreal that something Emmanuel had struggled to do for several decades, which had tormented him immeasurably, had now been obtained without as much as a hint of hesitation. She could barely fit the pieces together, seeing no credible explanation for how the impossible had just occurred.

“It’s nothing compared to what I’m about to do,” Emmanuel smiled, letting her sink deeper into an already overwhelming confusion. “But if you must know… I was thinking about Justin and what he taught me. That’s why I’m going to his apartment. According to the website of the repair shop his uncle owns, they’re closed on Sundays which means that unless he’s out at the moment, he should be home.”

Se-Jin’s second thought was that surely Emmanuel was kidding, putting aside the first thought, being that Emmanuel’s behavior was a slight bit creepy and stalkerish. What had she expected though? He had a habit of treating his interests as prey, no matter how much that fact disturbed the people around him. 

“Even if he’s home, you’ll never get there in this weather,” Se-Jin argued, gesturing at the bursts of heavy rain that hit the ground with loud thuds. “There won’t be any available cabs, and even if there was, the traffic is clogged up completely. The best case scenario is that you manage to bribe your driver into driving on the sidewalk, hitting several pedestrians in the process…” She scoffed, then realizing the flaw in her logic. “Strike that, it’s definitely not the best case scenario. But you get what I’m trying to say.”

“I do,” Emmanuel nodded, absolutely undeterred however. “That’s why I’m walking. It’s not too far away, and I won’t have to worry about the traffic. I can handle a little rain, and if not then I’ll catch a cold - too bad. Just trust me.”

Se-Jin wasn’t entirely comfortable with having Emmanuel out on the streets in that weather, and especially not while in such an impulsive state. Something told her that Emmanuel hadn’t planned it, but merely had an urge to run the risk for a few days, before finally experiencing a surge of confidence. Even so, she had to come to terms with that simple fact that she couldn’t stop him, regardless of her efforts.

“Good luck then,” She said, hugging him once again, before reluctantly letting him venture into the rain.

***

Justin opened the door, finding someone uninvited for the second time that week, and his first instinct was to shut the door immediately. His sympathy got the best of him though, being met with the sight of a drenched shivering Emmanuel, standing in front of him against all odds. Justin had no choice but to let him in, whether or not his rationality begged him not to give in to Emmanuel’s pitiable state.

“Stay in front of the door when you step inside,” Justin instructed, opening the door enough for Emmanuel to let himself in. “I’ll get you a towel and a blanket, so take off the wet clothes and I’ll dry it for you.”

Emmanuel did as he was told, staying at the entrance while Justin disappeared into the bathroom to find a towel for him. He unbuttoned his shirt, and noticed that the white fabric was completely see-through when drenched. It didn’t bother him as much as it likely would have if Justin hadn’t seen him shirtless several times already. Still, it wasn’t the ideal way to look when showing up at someone’s door unannounced. 

“Just drop it on the floor and I’ll get it afterwards,” Justin said, handing him the towel when he saw Emmanuel hesitating as his shirt was off. “I’ll wrap you in a blanket when you’ve dried yourself off.”

Emmanuel started off drying his hair with the towel, and the humidity made it curl ever so slightly, which Justin would’ve complimented had the circumstances been different. He dried off his upper body, and discovered how prevalent the goosebumps were, suggesting that he’d be developing a cold as predicted. He unzipped his trousers, but paused when realizing that Justin was standing in front of him with a blanket, clearly waiting for him to proceed with undressing. 

He was somewhat worried that being as soaked as he’d gotten, his underwear would be see-through as well. Nevertheless, he couldn’t very well stand there and stall, while Justin waited patiently. He’d already been kind enough to let him inside, dripping all over the place, and Emmanuel wasn’t eager to be more difficult than he’d already succeeded in being. So he took off his pants, doing his best to cover himself up with the towel, as he dried off the damp skin.

Justin wrapped the blanket around him, and Emmanuel savored the warmth that now enveloped him, considering it a welcomed contrast to the coldness of his drenched clothes. Assuming that he’d done as he’d been told, he looked up at Justin for further instructions, seeing as he was Justin’s guest now.

“All of it,” He ordered, nodding at the hidden piece of clothing underneath the blanket which Emmanuel was still wearing.

Being only dressed in his underwear was already several hundred steps out of Emmanuel’s comfort zone, and now Justin was expressing that it was insufficient? He understood the reasoning, yet he had a hard time accepting the order, already feeling too bare for his own comfort. But he was in Justin’s apartment, and he had to follow his rules. It didn’t take much physical effort, though the same couldn’t be said for the psychological aspect, and he pulled at the waistband, letting his underwear drop to the floor from under the blanket.

Justin picked up his clothes, and went off once again while Emmanuel waited awkwardly, this time naked underneath Justin’s blanket. When he returned, he led Emmanuel to the couch and gestured for him to sit down. He himself took a seat in the chair next to it, and for a moment they merely sat in silence, listening to the pouring rain. 

“I don’t care what Lauren told you, I’m not going to beg for my job back if that’s what you think,” Justin said, and he could tell that Emmanuel was unaware of the event of which he was speaking. “Perhaps she didn’t tell you that she showed up at my door just like you, telling me that you were sorry, and that I should ask you to rehire me.”

Emmanuel hadn’t thought that Lauren would go behind his back to seek out Justin, but apparently she had. It did seem that she’d done it for his sake, and he couldn’t justifiably fault her good intentions, knowing that she’d been trying to achieve the same thing that he currently was.

“I didn’t know,” Emmanuel confirmed, however skeptical as to whether Justin would believe him or not. “She was right though, when she said that I was sorry. I owe you an apology, and I don’t expect you to forgive me, because upon reflection… what I did was egregious, and admittedly, pretty unforgivable.”

Emmanuel wasn’t overwhelmingly skilled at apologies, and given Justin’s unimpressed expression, he had failed to deliver a convincing one. He’d been a bit too formal, or perhaps he just didn’t sound sincere. Whatever the cause, he was doing poorly, and wasn’t giving Justin much of a reason to engage in the attempts at mending their relationship - or what was left of it.

“We both know why I’m here,” Emmanuel said, unable to find a more graceful way to continue the conversation. “I need you to tell me how to fix this.”

Being blunt was the only way forward, but not being able to solve the problem that he himself had created didn’t help his case. He knew what Justin had wanted, but those things didn’t apply if his feelings for Emmanuel had withered, and not knowing if they had, making it up to him would prove difficult.

“I don’t know if I want you to fix this,” Justin sighed, not sure if it was worth the effort. “I don’t think you understand how you made me feel, and if you don’t know then we can’t move forward.”

Of course Emmanuel didn’t know, only aware of the verbal descriptions that Justin had given him. For him to fully understand, it would require him to experience it himself, which had to be impossible… right? Unless he was misunderstanding what Justin was asking of him, Emmanuel would have to submit to him. He gave Justin a resolute nod, urging him to continue.

“I’d need you naked and exposed, while I’m fully dressed,” He stated, aware that this would unnerve Emmanuel to a remarkable extent. “I’d need you vulnerable and insecure, with your feelings painfully obvious so I can brush them off and make you feel vain and pathetic. You’d have to beg and plead, kneeling at my feet as you fear being discarded at any moment. And when I insult and humiliate you, I want you to take it without as much as a single complaint, until you’re on the verge of tears.”

Emmanuel wouldn’t be able to do what Justin was asking of him, but there was hardly any alternative, which meant that he would have to try. It was only fair that for once, Justin was the one in control, and Emmanuel would endure any and everything he’d subjected Justin to. Only then would they be even.

He stood up, blanket still tightly wrapped around his naked frame as he approached the chair Justin was sitting in, prepared to do nearly anything asked of him. If letting someone see him at his most vulnerable was nerve wracking to imagine, he really had no idea what lay ahead of him. His hands were already affected by the tremor that had initially been a result of having been out in the cold, but that was the least of his worries.

“Don’t… laugh at me,” He said, hesitating as he let the blanket drop to the floor, turning his face away so that he wouldn’t catch a glimpse of himself in the corner of his eye.

He couldn’t see Justin’s reaction, but he could feel his gaze digging into his skin, studying his naked body intently while Emmanuel silently endured his own shame. The lack of laughter or a condescending remark was somewhat of a relief, although he still feared that Justin was having those exact thoughts without saying them out loud. 

“Why would I laugh?” Justin asked, failing to maintain a harsh tone as he was tempted to be gentle, even if Emmanuel didn’t deserve it. “There’s nothing to laugh at.”

If he really wished to reassure Emmanuel, he would have made it known how much he adored the sight of his body, having been denied it for so long. But he wanted Emmanuel to feel ashamed and embarrassed, so he kept it to himself. He wasn’t entirely sure why Emmanuel had been scared that he’d be laughed at, wondering if it had anything to do with his figure being slightly feminine. 

Justin rested his hands on Emmanuel’s hips, examining the unusual width, though he didn’t consider it a negative feature - quite the opposite. He felt Emmanuel tremble beneath his touch, and decided that it was time to go further, knowing that it would have to be substantially more uncomfortable before Emmanuel was circling the edge. 

“Kneel,” He ordered, the word rolling off his tongue sadistically.

Kneeling was by far the most humiliating thing Emmanuel had made him do, even if most people wouldn’t consider it that significant. It was the symbolism behind it, which in Justin’s case was subjugation. Emmanuel must’ve known this as well, because he struggled immensely with this specific demand. Nevertheless, he finally committed to the task, lowering himself to his knees in front of Justin.

“That wasn’t so hard was it,” He said tauntingly as he started petting Emmanuel the exact way that had been done to him. “I know you’re not a masochist, but I’ll need you to masturbate until you reach climax.”

Emmanuel seemed especially taken aback by this command, even though he’d ordered that exact same thing from Justin in the beginning of his employment. And yet, he couldn’t fathom being asked to do something so humiliating in front of someone. He didn’t have a choice however, and Justin might have been the only person with whom he’d even consider it. Still, his body wouldn’t allow him.

He wasn’t erect, which was something Justin had foreseen, but had no intention of helping him with. Emmanuel would have to find a solution to that problem, in addition to all the other obstacles that similarly prevented him from doing as he was told. He was nervous that Justin would become impatient and break things off then and there. This anxiety added to the strain that made it impossible for him to continue.

The obvious thing to do would be finding something that would trigger an erection, despite the pressure he was under. Justin was usually the person on his mind when he took the time to relieve some stress, but not with the energy he was currently emitting. Emmanuel was drawn to Justin’s usual submissive shy self, while the version in front of him appeared cold and unaffectionate, much like Emmanuel would tend to be.

He suddenly understood how Justin must’ve felt when treated with condescension and harshness. It wasn’t pleasant, and quite frankly Emmanuel had never felt so helpless and degraded. They’d barely even gotten started yet. How would he endure long enough for Justin to forgive him?

“The rain won’t clear up anytime soon,” Justin pointed out, breaking the excruciating silence, only disturbed by the sound of the depressing weather outside. “We have as long as it takes, and if you need to go to the bathroom, well… it wouldn’t be unlike you to do it on the spot anyway.”

Justin knew that he was crossing a line with that insult, and he couldn’t say that he took pleasure in how much that particular remark undoubtedly made Emmanuel ache. His expression and tone had been so hostile, even he felt surprised that he’d been so petty. Furthermore, it really didn’t help what was a very overt problem; Emmanuel’s lack of physical response to the degradation. 

They happened to be very different in that regard, since Justin found arousal in being dominated and teased, while Emmanuel likely wouldn’t be turned on by it, given his sadistic tendencies. Additionally, Emmanuel depended on someone else’s torment to get off, if not direct physical stimulation. If they were to continue, Justin would have to provide one of those preferences. 

“You’re lucky I find it amusing that you don’t know how to kiss properly,” Justin said, savoring the last insult, as he was sure delivering any further ones would erase any progress they were about to make.

He leaned down, kissing Emmanuel roughly, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to regulate the stimulation if Justin used his tongue as skillfully as he did when not holding back. And as he suspected, Emmanuel’s physical sensitivity made sure that he was throbbing and dripping precum onto the floor in no time, solely from the attention Justin was giving him. He soon whimpered in response to how hard he’d become so suddenly.

“You may not know how to kiss, but you sure enjoy it,” Justin smirked, not able to resist teasing Emmanuel when seeing him so adorably desperate. “Go on. You should be able to reach climax very easily when you’re this turned on.”

Emmanuel hesitantly started masturbating, but refused to let out his voice as he felt that he’d humiliated himself enough already without going even further. Justin observed him with interest, but he could tell that even though Emmanuel was physically pleasuring himself, he did not find the activity enjoyable. With that being the case, Justin had to take advantage of the situation before it got too much for Emmanuel.

“Tell me what your feelings for me are,” Justin ordered, but made sure that his tone was soft and encouraging as this was the most important thing he wanted to know. “Tell me and I’ll forgive you.”

Emmanuel was fairly distracted, but Justin’s order still managed to snap him out of what he’d previously been focused on doing. He continued moving his hand with a steady rhythm, but even the pleasure wouldn’t cloud his mind enough for the significance of Justin’s words to go unnoticed. Everything he’d been asked to do so far seemed like nothing compared to what was now expected of him. Earning Justin’s forgiveness would be worth it, Emmanuel was absolutely sure.

“I need you,” He whimpered, but knowing that it wasn’t quite good enough. “Justin, I want you. Please don’t leave me.”

Justin could barely concentrate, and he had to admit that forcing Emmanuel to make confessions while on the verge of orgasm, might not have been the brightest idea. His own climax was building so rapidly he wasn’t in his right mind either. Perhaps their feelings should’ve been discussed prior to engaging in lewd acts, but that only occurred to Justin now. There was no other option than to let Emmanuel ride out his orgasm before going into detail regarding their relationship. 

“Come for me,” He whispered, kissing Emmanuel while ignoring his own erection, despite the increasing lack of attention he’d given it.

Emmanuel came at his feet, moaning against Justin’s lips as the orgasm washed over him. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t a much needed release, and it somehow left him wanting more, as he’d yet to pleasure Justin the way he usually would. Now that his mind was a little clearer he could have a coherent conversation with Justin, which hopefully wouldn’t be interrupted by repeated moans.

“We’re continuing this in the bedroom,” Justin panted, seemingly quite desperate himself.

He picked Emmanuel up bridal-style, carrying him to the bed in his room, and placing him on it before undressing with impatience. It only then occurred to Emmanuel that Justin was intending to go all the way, but when they were both naked Justin paused, and it appeared he wanted to clarify some things first.

“Repeat what you said earlier,” He said, needing to know that Emmanuel had meant what he’d said. “Or expand on it, because I want to be sure that it’s what you really feel.”

Having gotten this far, Emmanuel was convinced that Justin wanted his own feelings to be reciprocated, and unless he was mistaken they were on the same page. If Justin hadn’t felt as strongly towards him as he did, surely he wouldn’t have put up with what Emmanuel had subjected him to. Stray displays of affection aside, Emmanuel wasn’t easy to deal with at times, and yet Justin had repeatedly shown commitment.

“I think that despite my flaws…” Emmanuel started, already embarrassed by the words coming out of his mouth. “We can make this work. I’ve never felt this way about someone. I meant what I said before.”

That was all Justin needed to hear, and he surged forward to kiss Emmanuel once again, discovering upon catching his lips that he was a fast learner. Although there was room for improvement, Emmanuel was making progress at an impressive speed. Had the circumstances been different, Justin would’ve spent more time discussing feelings and what not, but as it were he had no patience. 

“I don’t bottom,” He stated bluntly, which didn’t surprise Emmanuel. “If you usually top then-”

“No it’s fine, just go slow,” Emmanuel quickly said, not eager to go further into something he had no experience learning the logistics of. “And be careful.”

Justin found his nonchalance regarding their roles to be somewhat odd, seeing as Emmanuel clearly didn’t sound accustomed to discussing what would usually be a pretty straightforward discussion. He also seemed oddly nervous about the topic being brought up, which Justin figured could be attributed to him being a top but not wanting to make things difficult for Justin.

“What about your neighbors?” Emmanuel suddenly asked, and Justin raised an eyebrow as to ask ‘what about them?’ in response. “What if they hear?”

Justin was aware that Emmanuel was more sensitive to such scenarios than most other people, but he’d assumed that this type of question was more likely to come from someone who actually lived in the building and knew the people living there. Emmanuel probably wouldn’t run into any of his neighbors regardless.

“Well,” Justin answered, considering his question. “That depends how loud you are. Do you usually disturb your neighbors, or is it because you prefer to have sex in your office?”

Emmanuel didn’t know how to answer the question, since he really hadn’t been prepared to end up in the position he was currently in. During sex Justin would probably take notice of Emmanuel’s inexperience regardless, and evading the subject likely wouldn’t serve to improve his situation either way.

“I’ve never had intercourse,” He said, to which Justin couldn’t help but let out an audible chuckle at. “I told you not to laugh.”

It was fairly lighthearted and playful at first, until Justin realized that Emmanuel’s first time having sex would be in the moments after Justin had both insulted him and made him kneel before he’d been relegated to coming on his livingroom floor. If Justin had known then certainly he’d done things differently. The word ‘fuck’ echoed in his mind, and he hurriedly hugged Emmanuel tightly as damage-control.

“Justin, I may be inexperienced but I’m not stupid,” He said, wondering if it had been better left unsaid. “Just do what you normally do, and I’ll be fine.”

Perhaps there was no reason to worry since, as Justin had discovered, Emmanuel was a fast learner. However, he seemed to not be aware that as a bottom he’d have to put in a lot of physical effort. If he thought that Justin would be able to simply ‘carry him through it’ and what not, then he was in for a surprise. 

***

Justin was holding Emmanuel’s waist to keep him steady as he got used to the first finger, being on all fours with Justin beneath him. The position was meant to make it easier to reach, since he’d decided to get familiar with the sensation on his own before letting Justin take over. He hadn’t let anyone do anything as remotely intimate as this to him, choosing not to concede that dominance, which Justin could respect. 

“Add another finger when you’ve found the spot,” Justin instructed, though Emmanuel appeared too focused on the task to entirely register his advice. 

He’d remained painfully hard throughout the time Emmanuel had spent trying to find out how preparation and penetration worked, and although it was more bothersome than he’d care to admit, he had to be patient. Rushing things would only ensure that at least one of them would have an unpleasant time - something that Justin wasn’t interested in. 

“I can’t find it,” Emmanuel said, struggling to keep his composure, and extremely conscious of how much precum was dripping onto Justin’s stomach. “Should I add another finger anyway?”

Justin doubted that Emmanuel had managed to miss his prostate considering how wet his front was, and how stimulated he appeared to already be. It was possible that he’d grazed it several times without noticing, but hadn’t applied enough pressure to be completely certain of where it was. Maybe he was purposely avoiding it, as to not provoke a premature ejaculation, though it was unlikely that he was that close to reaching his second orgasm, after having climaxed not too long ago.

“Add another if you’ve loosened yourself up enough,” Justin answered, supporting more of Emmanuel’s weight in order to relieve some of the strain. “You can try spreading your fingers as well.”

He waited for Emmanuel to try out both of his suggestions, but his own impatience was starting to get the best of him. He could hardly resist urging Emmanuel to skip a few steps, wanting to get inside as soon as the moment would allow for him to do so. His decency wouldn’t let him do that however, and he simply had to endure until Emmanuel was ready to proceed. 

“Do you want me to help?” He offered, not sure if for his own sake, or Emmanuel’s. “I might be able to find it faster.”

Most people started off exploring fingering or rimming, but going straight for penetration in one go wasn’t as easy. Getting used to something bigger than a finger or two at a time would be difficult, if not painful when not done properly. Preparation was key, but Justin couldn’t be sure if Emmanuel was doing it efficiently, and if not then the purpose would be lost, making it futile.

“I can do it myself,” Emmanuel hissed, although he hadn’t intended to get defensive. “I’ll find it, just give me a second.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want Justin’s help, but not being used to having someone else touch him meant that he was extremely sensitive. If he let Justin take over then he would climax immediately, which his pride couldn’t tolerate after he’d teased Justin for finishing quickly countless times. He was hoping that by continuing to stimulate his prostate, he would eventually get familiar with the sensation and be able to edge.

“If it’s somewhere you can’t reach then it’ll take hours,” Justin argued, speculating over Emmanuel’s ability to actually find it. “Won’t you let me try at least?”

Emmanuel hesitated, but reluctantly pulled out so that Justin could take over. Knowing where it was, perhaps he could steer Justin away from it by faking his reactions. At what point would his inability to admit defeat become ridiculous? He didn’t get to find out because as soon as Justin thrust inside, he found it immediately. Emmanuel whimpered, feeling the orgasm consume him before he could even attempt to edge. 

“That was easier than I’d expected,” Justin said, pulling out and switching their positions so that Emmanuel had a chance to lie down and catch his breath. “You did a good job preparing yourself. I should be able to fit.”

Emmanuel instantly gasped, and whatever energy he’d just been drained of due to the climax suddenly rushed back. He’d barely been able to handle two fingers, and Justin was anything but small. The last thing he’d been prepared to deal with, was whether or not he’d suffer a sex-related injury.

“You’re too big,” Emmanuel objected, seeing no realistic way that Justin could possibly enter him.

Justin was already at his limit, and being told no at the last minute wasn’t ideal. He knew that Emmanuel was likely to be tight, considering that he wasn’t used to penetration, but it certainly wasn’t impossible. Complaints regarding his size rarely ever occurred, but he could understand why Emmanuel was worried. 

“Do you trust me?” He asked, hoping that he wouldn’t regret the question. 

Emmanuel nodded without much consideration. If he didn’t trust Justin he wouldn’t be having sex with him, assuming they’d ever get that far. With that, Justin slowly pushed himself inside, finally finding the much needed attention his erection had been craving. The warmth and tightness had been worth the wait, and whatever else he’d endured to end up in bed with Emmanuel.

It didn’t take more than a few thrusts for both of them to enter into the blissful state of sameness and intimacy. There seemed to be a way to become equal while under subjugation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes the fic. 200+ pages of I have no clue. I think I managed to make both Emmanuel and Justin seem like the biggest assholes in this chapter but oh well.   
> Constructive criticism is much appreciated <3


End file.
